Notes from the Central Office

Transcription

1 Sobriety in Stumptown Portland Area Intergroup June NE 20th Ave, Portland, OR Volume 8, No Notes from the Central Office It s business as usual at central office, but as we all know June is Rose Festival month and with it brings the fleet of various naval vessels. This year we have so far had one request for an AA contact from the Canadian Navy. We will have more before it is all said and done. This type of 12 th step work is rewarding in its own way. Although the person contacting us is sober and an AA in good standing rather than someone looking to find sobriety for the first time, this is still a valuable way to contribute to the health of AA as a whole. There are many types of 12 th step work and if you are interested in getting on the list of people who wish to respond to requests like this, please call central office and sign up as a local contact for visitors. You never know what state or country your next AA friend may be coming from! We are always asking groups to sign up for the 12 th step list which is used to help the new people find recovery. Please ask your group secretary if your group is participating. If not, give us a call and we will send you the documents you will need to start participating in our primary purpose by getting linked to a still suffering alcoholic asking for help to remain sober. As always, and in Gratitude, Garry B. Office Manager Office Hours are 9am 5pm Monday Friday. Phone: Slowly Sliding Toward Self-Sponsorship by David B. from Portland, OR. I realize my slow slide toward self sponsorship started the day my mom died one and a half years ago. There was no way I could have known it then, because I was doing everything right. I 1

2 called my sponsor right away. I talked to everyone in my family. I called AA people, friends and family friends to inform them. I went on a bike ride to honor my mother, as instructed by my father. I went to a meeting and shared about my experience. I got on a plane and flew back home for the funeral. Years of indoctrination by Alcoholics Anonymous made my path crystal clear: show up for my family, be a son, don t drink, keep in close contact with my AA fellows, continue to be of service. I barely cried. Life went back to normal, more or less. Then I got money. I d never had any money apart from what was left of my paycheck after rent, and it got my mind racing. The combination of certainty in life because of doing everything right, the feeling of incredible love from my friends and family, and having more money than I d ever had before injected an intense confidence and happiness into my life. I started going big in two ways: career and bikes. I got into mountain bike camping (bikepacking) and compulsively bought gear and planned trips. I rode across Oregon on dirt roads and trails. I rode across Colorado through the Rockies on singletrack above 10,000 feet for a week. I got bold with my writing career hustling for freelance jobs, networking and ruthlessly promoting myself. And it worked! I landed an internship that turned into my first full time job as a writer. Suddenly I wasn t a loser anymore! Meanwhile I was burning through the savings my mother accumulated during her career as a special education teacher and shoving my guilt into the back corners of my brain. All of this success emboldened me to do bigger things and commit more time to writing and riding and less time to AA. At some point during this period, I had three sponsees. I was constantly losing track of which one I was supposed to meet with when often canceling last minute because, I m 200 miles away in the middle of a desert. Let s talk next week! I cut a lot of time out by going to fewer meetings, but the biggest cuts were made by cutting out meeting with my sponsor. It was easy to justify: my sponsor was becoming increasingly busy and decreasingly likely to answer the phone. So I d give him a call, leave him a message with, hey man, everything s fine. Give me a call and let s get together soon, then sit back and wait for him to return my call. If he didn t call me in two or three weeks, I d try again. The beauty of this setup was that I could comfort myself with the knowledge that I technically still had a sponsor, and that I technically was reaching out. But the truth was I was flying solo. This arrangement was bad for me and my sponsor. We both felt guilty, untrusting and disconnected from one another. We apologized a lot, but didn t really amend our behavior. We were stuck in a rut. I couldn t see the cause at the time, but I remember feeling like I was losing my connection to AA last winter. Everyone said all the same things at every meeting. They all believed a bunch of nonsense and subtly competed with one another in their shares. Was this AA stuff really what 2

3 kept me sober? I was approaching ten years sobriety and having strong doubts about the fellowship. Then one of my sponsees fired me although he put it more nicely. He and I had worked together for over two years and our relationship was getting similarly dysfunctional. What goes up the ladder goes down too, I remembered my sponsor telling me. I d known that I needed to start over with a new sponsor for a long time, but wasn t willing to make the break until I was fired myself. The willingness appeared in an instant. I called a guy I d known and respected for years a guy who was on fire for AA after getting having his world turned upside down and I asked him to be my sponsor. Then I met with my old sponsor and spoke frankly about how I d felt about our dwindling relationship and that I had to move on. It was a huge relief for both of us like slashing and burning a field to make the soil good again. I learned several things in those initial meetings with my new sponsor: 1: My mom s death was sort of a big deal for me (who would have thought?). 2: A significant increase in personal wealth often gives AAs the impression that they suddenly have it figured out. 3: I wasn t actually that far gone from the program and the fellowship. 4: I m not the first person who ever slid away from their sponsor. 5: I could start again any time I wanted. I collected my ten year chip three months after switching sponsors and I invited a bunch of friends to come to the meeting. The love and connection I felt in the room, filled with so many friends, was totally overwhelming. Why did I think AA was such a sham three months ago? I wondered. Oh yeah, I remembered. I was self sponsoring. And apparently I m a pretty miserable self sponsor. Stuck in a Funk by Laura S. from Coral Springs, Fla. After 22 years of sobriety, I started slacking on my meetings, from two to three per week to one meeting per week (my home group meeting). The calls to my sponsor became a little less 3

4 frequent as well. I started feeling disconnected from Alcoholics Anonymous and all the gifts given to me God, fellowship, Steps and sponsor all of which equals sobriety for me. Aside from the position I hold as intergroup rep for my home group, my service was nil. I got to meetings as they were starting and stopped hanging out for the meeting after the meeting. I stuck around, just not for long, and surely not nearly as long as I had while practicing my "regular" program. I now know this led up to the funk I was to feel as a result. This totally negative space I was in occurred due to changes in my life while living "life on life's terms" instead of seeking God's directions. I had learned through Alcoholics Anonymous to accept many of life's changes as positive turns in my recovery, and to grow through them rather than look at the negatives. And so I had to take the action. I am reminded that if I thoroughly work my program with no half measures, if some negative thinking did occur, it wouldn't go too far, and I would be able to transition back into positive thinking more smoothly. As usual when in that space, I could not pinpoint the reason for it. I told myself there was no need to analyze: "This too shall pass." I did not want to drink, but I started to notice that I was handling situations differently not very well, to say the least. As a result of my lack of willingness to continue working the program that had worked for me, my patience was growing very thin, I was worrying about financial insecurity and I was isolating more and more. Situations that used to baffle me were baffling me once again and I was not handling these situations as I once had when working my program and attending regular meetings. I came to realize, coming out of the negativity, that it would never have progressed as far as it did if I had continued to do what I was doing for my sobriety, because it had been working. Thank God I was still in a semi sane state and made the decision to reconnect before it got to the point where I allowed my disease to shut out my awareness. So let me tell you about a few of the "God coincidences" since I made the decision to reconnect. I went to the monthly intergroup meeting, only because of the commitment I had as intergroup rep for my home group. First thank you, God had I not made that prior commitment, I could see myself easily going from one meeting a week to none in my less than willing state of mind. At that meeting, they asked for volunteers to distribute 50 gratitude cans to groups that had not yet picked them up. I immediately snickered to myself, while looking up, knowing that my God was behind that request. With God on my shoulder giving me a loving nudge, and knowing it would help me to reconnect, I volunteered to take eight gratitude cans to meetings in the Coral Springs area, where I reside. Keep in mind that while I was graciously accepting this volunteer work, my head was telling me, Well, it doesn't mean you have to stay for the meetings; you can just deliver the cans and leave 4

5 before the meeting starts. Well, don't you know that each time I brought a can to a meeting, I stayed for the meeting. Again I was thinking, I don't have to stay for the whole meeting; I can leave early. Once again, not only did I stay for the whole meeting, I stayed for the "meeting after the meeting" as well. (All except for one meeting; I didn't stay for a men's meeting.) As a result, I made seven meetings I would not have gone to, left to my own devices. During this time, I went to my home group. On my way to the meeting room, there was a woman standing outside, crying while holding on to her 16 year old son, telling him she wasn't sure she could go in; she was scared. I asked what she was scared of. She said she wasn't sure she should be there. I told her son I'd take care of her, that she'd be OK, and he left on his bicycle after telling her he'd be back. I told her it was a friendly group on the other side of the door, and that it was a beginners' meeting. She said, "That's me." I said, "Sounds like a God coincidence to me." I told her I'd show her where the coffee and pastries were, and I got a couple of seats for us. Then I got a meeting schedule and passed it around to the women for their names and phone numbers for her. The format of my home group is speaker/discussion. After the speaker, the chairman asked if anyone with zero to three months would like to share. I encouraged her to raise her hand, tell everyone her name and let them know it was her first meeting. She stood up and did just that, and when she sat back down we held each other while she cried. Just before it was time for chips, I was explaining the chip system to her. She immediately started responding with reasons not to take a chip. "I think I'll wait, go home tonight, think about it, make sure this is something I can do..." People turned to her, encouraging her. She made that long walk to pick up the white chip. When she returned to her seat, we once again held each other while she cried. She was feeling happy that she picked up that white chip! She kept saying thank you as she held the chip up while looking to the sky. She stayed for the "meeting after the meeting," and her son sat with us. At that time, she shared that she had been to a meeting once before with her son and had a bad experience someone told her that she hadn't hit her low point yet. Because of that she had no desire to return and hadn't gone to any more AA meetings... till my home group meeting. She told her son she loved the meeting and everyone there. I let her know that there are over 800 meetings in Broward County, so if she ever has another experience like that, she has many other options for meetings. I also let her son know about Alateen. As I was saying goodnight to her, she held up her white chip and said, "Laura, this is all because of you." I cut her off and responded with, "This is all because your God chose me as an instrument for you." 5

6 Six days have passed. I'm not sure if she attended another meeting since then; I have not heard from her again. She had my phone number. Needless to say, I am hoping to see her at my home group meeting again. And if I do, I will be getting her phone number for Twelfth Step work to stay connected. Funny thing is, she was so appreciative of me for helping her, but I am even more appreciative of the gift I had that night in helping her she helped me so much more! Talk about God working in my life yet again at a time when I'm reconnecting, huh? This is an awesome reminder to me that my God is awesome; that it isn't all about me, it's about helping the newcomer; and that I am so very blessed to be in a position to be able to help others. MONTHLY BUSINESS MEETINGS: For details about monthly business meetings, contact the PAI Office at Or send your questions or concerns to 1212@pdxaa.com. Portland Area Intergroup (PAI ): Business Meeting, 2 nd Monday of every month, 7:00 PM, 4524 SE Stark St. (Unity of Portland), Portland. Portland Deaf Access Committee: Monthly, 2nd Sunday of every month, 6:30, The Alano Club, NW 24th & Kearney. Dist 9 : 1 st Wed, 6:30 PM, 24 th and Kearney, Portland Dist 10 : Last Mon, 7:00 PM, Beaverdam Rd., West Side Service Cntr, Beaverton Dist 11 : Last Thu, 7:00 PM, URS Club, Portland Dist 12 : 1 st Tue, 6:30 PM, 12x12 Club, 7035 NE Glisan, Portland Dist 15 : 1 st Wed, 6:45 PM, th St., Oregon City Dist 18 : 1 st Sat, 9:30 AM, 215 N 6 th St., St. Helens Dist 23 : 1 st Tue, 6:00 PM, Emmanuel Presbyterian, SW Willamette Dr., West Linn Dist 24 : 1 st Thu, 6:15 PM, 2800 SE Harrison St., Portland Dist 26 : 2 nd Sun, 5:00 PM, St Charles Church, 5310 NE 42 nd Ave., Portland Dist 27 : 1 st Mon, 7:00 PM, SE Linwood Ave., St. Paul s Methodist, Milwaukie Dist 31 : 2 nd Tue, 7:00 PM, 937 NE Jackson School Rd., Hillsboro Dist 34 : 3 rd Sat, 5:00 PM, 485 Portland Ave., Gladstone Dist 35 : 2 nd & 4 th Sat, 7:00 PM, SW Shaw St., Suite A, Beaverton Dist 36 : 2 nd Thu, 6:00 PM, 2025 SW Vermont St., Portland Dist 37 : 2 nd Tue, 6:30 PM, SW Town Center Loop East, Wilsonville 6

7 Committee News: We have several committee positions available. Portland Area Intergroup needs your help. Working on a committee is excellent 12th Step service work. If you are interested in being on any Portland Area Intergroup committee, send an to pdxaa.com with "COMMITTEE INTEREST" in the subject field. Or, just click on Service on the Intergroup website. Intergroup committees carry the message of recovery to the still suffering alcoholic. Please help yourself and others. Sign up. Thank you. Bridging the Gap (BTG): provides a one time temporary contact for people transitioning from a treatment center to AA meetings. BTG meets the second Monday of each month at 6:30 PM at the Portland Intergroup Office basement, located at 825 NE 20th Ave, Suite 200, Portland. "We Bridge the Gap so alcoholics leaving treatment don't have to walk alone across that scary gap between the beginning of recovery in treatment and the continued recovery in AA. Please contact the PAI office via phone, , or 1212@pdxaa.com, if you are interested. AA Hotline: The AA Hotline keeps the Portland phone number for AA active 24 hours a day, every day of the year. The way this is accomplished is by volunteer support. Calls to the AA number placed after Central Office hours and redirected to volunteers phones, keeping the volunteer s number anonymous. A volunteer can elect to go on a 12th Step call or just provide the information the baller needs about meetings. Commitments are generally two times a month. Call the Central Office for more information at Newsletter ( Sobriety in Stumptown ): The committee for the very publication you are now reading is looking for members. Send an of interest to newsletter@pdxaa.com. Events: The Events Committee needs committee members. Send an to Events@pdxaa.com for more information. Get Published! Submit your article, poem, artwork, rant, or performance art piece to Sobriety in Stumptown. Next month s topic is: Acceptance and Mindfulness. Deadline: 7/01/15 Send articles of 1000 words or fewer to: newsletter@pdxaa.com Step Six Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character. 7

8 Tradition Five An A.A. group ought never endorse, finance, or lend the A.A. name to any related facility or outside enterprise, lest problems of money, property, and prestige divert us from our primary purpose. Serenity Prayer God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Reprinted with permission of AA World Services, Inc. 8