Helping your Child Develop Skills to Manage Stress & Anxiety

Transcription

1 Helping your Child Develop Skills to Manage Stress & Anxiety Sara Harrison-Mills, LISW-S Director of Youth and Prevention Programs, Syntero Karen Keane, LISW-S Student Support Specialist, Dublin City Schools

2 Objectives * Mental & Emotional Wellness * STRESS * Academic Stress * Social Stress * Recognizing Signs of Distress * Building Resilience * Strategies for Managing Stress & Anxiety

3 What is Mental Wellness? * A state of well-being in which the individual: * Realizes their own abilities * Can cope with the normal stresses of life * Works productively and fruitfully * Is able to make a contribution to their community * Internal & external factors affecting mental wellness include: * Coping behaviors & skills * Relationships with loved ones and others * School/Work environment

4 Emotional Wellness * Being able to handle normal amounts of stress * Being attentive to positive & negative thoughts, feelings, and behavior * Being able to express emotions in a suitable manner * Being aware of and accepting our feelings, rather than denying them * Being optimistic and enjoying life, despite occasional frustrations and disappointments * Being able to set priorities * Being able to accept mistakes and learn from them * Being proactive and seeking support or information to make informed decisions

5 Common Sources of Stress for Children * School * Social life * Divorce * Fear of rejection * Fear of being different * Illness of self or family * Fears about their changing bodies * Sports

6 STRESS! We all have it, but it s not always bad. : Moderate stress that is normal and beneficial * Increases motivation, focuses our energy * Is typically short-term * Improves physical ability * Opportunity to become competent and confident * Any examples of positive stressors in your or your child s life? A state of mental or emotional strain resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances

7 Physiological Stress Reaction * Body s physiological response, or fight or flight * Very useful responses to actual threat or danger * Liver releases glucose to fuel muscles * Heart pumps harder to get blood where needed * Breathing faster to take in more oxygen * Sweat more to help bodies cool down * Once reaction is completed and danger dealt with, body can relax again * Often produce a fight/flight response when not needed

8 * Very useful responses to actual threat or danger * Liver releases glucose to fuel muscles * Heart pumps harder to get blood where needed * Breathing faster to take in more oxygen * Sweat more to help bodies cool down Stress Response System

9 Is it Stress or Anxiety? * Stress can come from any event or thought that makes you feel frustrated, angry, or nervous. * Anxiety is a feeling of fear, unease, worry, or nervousness, typically about an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome. * The source of anxiety symptoms is not always known.

10 Are kids more stressed today? * Schools-more competitive * Children are more scheduled * Parents have increased worries about finances, safety * Coping mechanisms are disappearing * Children don t get enough time outside, either experiencing nature or running around in their neighborhoods. * Children don t spend nearly enough time doing nothing, enjoying the downtime necessary to process all their new experiences.

11 Stress can be your friend

12 Where does anxiety come from? * Genes * Negative Thoughts * Avoiding * Parent Reaction * Parent Modeling * Stressors

13 Coping with stress and anxiety * Like adults, children also struggle with stress. * A certain amount of stress is normal. * Stress and anxiety are not the same thing. * It is not possible to be Stress Free or eliminate all forms of stress. * Stress is necessary and helpful if we can manage it appropriately. * Children and adults manage stress and anxiety in healthy and unhealthy ways. * The goal is to reduce stress when possible and help your child develop healthy ways to cope with stress and anxiety.

14 Symptoms of Anxiety * Persistent and excessive worry * Nervousness * Trouble sleeping through the night or sleepiness during the day * Restlessness/Fidgety * Irritability * Difficulty Concentrating * Avoidant behaviors * Somatic Complaints

15 Symptoms of Anxiety * Younger kids often cannot articulate their feelings, and so we often see physical symptoms presenting first, which include: * Headaches, upset stomach or nausea, increased heart rate, diarrhea or constipation, sleep disturbance, increased vulnerability to common viruses, tightness in chest, tight neck or back, appetite change, fatigue & exhaustion

16 Anxiety Disorders * Persistent, excessive worries and/or fears * Restlessness, feeling on edge * Fatigue * Difficulties with concentration * Irritability * Sleep disturbance * Avoidance * Physical sx s-headaches, stomachaches * Panic sx s * Heart palpitations * Sweating * Trembling * Shortness of breath * Nausea, stomach distress * Dizzy/light headed * Fear of losing control, fear of dying * Chills or heat sensations * Numbness or tingling * Feeling detached from oneself * Separation Anxiety Disorder * Selective Mutism * Specific Phobia * Social Anxiety Disorder * Panic Disorder * Agoraphobia * Generalized Anxiety Disorder

17 Resilience. A silver bullet? * Resilience is the capacity to rise above difficult circumstances, the trait that allows us to exist in this less-than-perfect world while moving forward with optimism and confidence. * Building Resilience in Children and Teens, 2015, pg.4

18 Building Resiliency-Starts at Home STRESS Unpredictable Severe Prolonged Predictable Moderate Controlled VULNERABILITY RESILIENCE Bruce D. Perry, MD, PhD

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20 Children and Change * Children are happiest when their lives are stable and constant * Children do not like change * All change involves loss * Regression is common leading up to, during, and following change * Change is a natural, normal part of life

21 Emotional Regulation & Stress * Primary developmental task * Ability to self-regulate and self calm * Emotional regulation learned through relationships with family members, reinforced through peer group, school, and community * Children who have ability to self-regulate do better with change/transitions/stress * Helping children learn to manage stress is key to helping children cope

22 Helping Your Child Develop These Skills * Role Model * Feelings Detective * Body Signals * Facial Expressions * Non-verbal communication * Practice Confident Self * Body language, facial expression, posture, tone of voice * Practice Positive Self-Talk * Problem Solving S-T-E-P-S * Focus on EFFORT not outcome * Provide opportunities for your child to decide * Use daily responsibilities to teach your child * Pack own lunch, pack backpack, clean up toys * Reassure--mistakes are OK and part of learning

23 Feelings * Children s lives are full of changes and times of uncertainty * Difficult developmental task to become comfortable with a whole range of emotions and reach understanding of what causes different feelings Is it OK to feel sad when someone dies or moves away but not OK to feel sad when I have lost or broken something? Why do I cry when I feel frustrated or angry? * Consider the message we give our children about feelings Don t be angry, don t get upset, it s nothing to cry about

24 Feelings * Ask the child: * Have you ever worried about something that hasn t happened yet? What did your body feel like? * Help child identify their feelings * Give them the words, if they don t have them * Validate the child s feelings * I can understand why you would feel that way * Double-dip Feelings * Children often experience contradictory emotions

25 7 C s Model of Resilience * Competence * Confidence * Connection * Character * Contribution * Coping * Control

26 Competence * Ability to handle situations effectively. * Acquired through actual experience. * Must first be allowed to develop skill set to trust own judgements, make responsible choices and face difficult situations.

27 Competence-Where YOU come in! * Help your child focus on strengths and how to build them * Focus on what does well vs. mistakes * Be clear and concise when addressing mistakes vs. You always mess up * Allow your child to make safe mistakes vs. hovering * Avoid comparing your child to others

28 Noticing, Praising, Criticizing Do Say * What did you learn in school today? * Were you proud of your art piece? * I love watching you think. You work so hard to figure things out. * I really admire how you ll search for answers & get help until you feel confident. Don t Say * How did you do on your test? * Did you get a blue ribbon? * You re so smart. * I m so proud of your grades.

29 Confidence * True confidence, the solid belief in one s own abilities, is rooted in competence. * Children gain confidence by demonstrating competence in real situations.

30 Kids don t get strong if you rarely let them flex and use their own muscles. Beyond Time-Out, From Chaos to Calm, Dr. Beth Grosshans

31 Coping * Best protection against unsafe, worrisome behaviors is WIDE repertoire of positive, adaptive coping strategies * Model healthy coping skills/stress managementexercise, sleep, nutrition * Allow imaginative problem solving * Engage in Active Listening vs. Impulsive Responses

32 Coping Strategies Adaptive/Effective * Explore and clarify feelings * Think positively * Positive appraisal * Rational thinking * Get support * Family Communication * Maintaining close friendships * Physical Activity * Meditation/down time * SLEEP * Unplug Mal-Adaptive/Ineffective * Anger * Avoidance * Substance Use * Blaming others * Withdrawing * Acting aggressively * Self-Injury/Eating disorders

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34 Confidence-Where YOU come in! * Express expectations for best qualities * NOT achievements, but personal qualities (i.e. fairness, integrity, persistence, kindness) * Catch your child being good * Avoid unintentionally pushing your child further than realistic expectations * Cause to stumble and lose confidence

35 Connection * Close relational tiesà solid sense of securityà produces strong valuesà prevents from seeking destructive alternatives * Allow and normalize ALL emotions * Create space for connection- physical/mental * Directly address conflict * Encourage pride in ethnic, religious, cultural groups

36 Character * Fundamental sense of right and wrong * Strong sense of self-worth & confidence * Future-oriented * Model importance of caring for others * Service Learning * Clearly express expectations about racist, ethnic, or hateful statements or stereotypes * Encourage effort and tenacity

37 Contribution * powerful lesson when children learn [the] world is a better place because they are in it. * Instills sense of purpose * Opportunity to surround contributing teens with thank yous rather than low expectations or condemnation that many teens endure * Model generosity * Create opportunities for contribution

38 Control * When children realize that they can control the outcomes of their decisions and actions, they re more likely to know that they have the ability to do what it takes to bounce back. * vs. children who feel everything always happens to me à become passive, pessimistic, depressed * Encourage recognition of small accomplishments * Use discipline as form of teaching rather than punishment or controlling your child

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40 Thank you to ADAMH Board Syntero, Inc. All rights reserved Community Education presentations from Syntero are possible thanks to school-based prevention grants funded by the ADAMH Board of Franklin County

41 Contact Information Sara Harrison-Mills, LISW-S Director of Youth & Prevention Programs, Syntero, Inc. Karen Keane, LISW-S Student Support Specialist, Dublin City Schools