The Ins(tute of Transforma(onal Nutri(on

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1 COACHING MODULE 6 PSYCHOLOGICAL AND SPIRITUAL PRACTICES WHAT WE WILL COVER IN THIS SECTION Psychology Roots Of Emotional Numbing Patterns That Maintain Poor Habits And Choices Psychological Practices Spirituality How to Use These Skills With Clients Case Study Examples Skills Lab Assignment Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 1

2 PSYCHOLOGY ROOTS OF EMOTIONAL NUMBING EMOTIONAL NUMBING Emotional numbing comes in many guises Eating Drug Addictions Gambling Television Relationships or Sex Video Games Facebook Cigarettes Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 2

3 EMOTIONAL NUMBING The behavior itself isn t the problem, it s when the behavior is used to numb out feelings It s when we do these behaviors to try to numb a feeling repeatedly rather than to enjoy the pleasure of the experience WHY DO PEOPLE NUMB EMOTIONALLY? Pain Discomfort Lacking tools to process emotions Not willing to process emotions WHY DO PEOPLE NUMB EMOTIONALLY? Many trace back to childhood How we were treated What our relationships were like Our beliefs about appropriate ways to cope Rarely develops out of nowhere Usually a reaction to something Example: after a significant stressor like the loss of a parent or divorce Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 3

4 WHY DO PEOPLE NUMB EMOTIONALLY? Emotions are seen as unacceptable Escape Avoidance Abuse Invalidation WHY DO PEOPLE NUMB EMOTIONALLY? Financial and emotional deprivation Too much or too little nurturing Negative thinking Punishment EMOTIONS ARE NECESSARY Need to be connected to our emotions Emotions give us information about ourselves, others, and the environment Emotions can help us understand ourselves and what will bring us happiness and satisfaction in life Emotions can fester when they go unexpressed Numbing doesn t make emotions go away, it just pushes them down They will often reappear in inconvenient ways Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 4

5 SIGNS OF EMOTIONAL NUMBING Conducting the behavior in private or secret Feeling guilty after doing the behavior Hiding evidence Denial Defensiveness Constantly thinking about the behavior PATTERNS THAT MAINTAIN NEGATIVE HABITS AND BEHAVIORS Guilt Shame Vulnerability EMOTIONAL PATTERNS Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 5

6 Mental filter Disqualifying the positive Jumping to conclusions Overgeneralization All or nothing thinking Catastrophizing Personalization COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS Shoulds Self-serving bias Just-world Mind reading Emotional reasoning COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS PSYCHOLOGICAL PRACTICES Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 6

7 DEALING WITH COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS Discover underlying beliefs Challenge myths Myth Examples If I say no or refuse a request I am a bad person. I am my negative emotions. Difficult feelings are unbearable. If I don t get the reaction I expect the other person doesn t like me. Many other personal myths ADDITIONAL WAYS TO DEAL WITH COGNITIVE DISTORTIONS Mindfulness Stop judging Extreme self-care Reduce stress Distraction Uncover feelings Other strategies MINDFULNESS Mindfulness is keeping the mind in the present moment Balance Logic and Emotion Observe and describe Participating Do one thing at a time Don t judge Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 7

8 STOP JUDGING Flip the switch Don t judge yourself Judging introduces more negative feelings into the equation Guilt Shame EXTREME SELF-CARE Focus on what you need to do to take care of yourself Prioritize personal hygiene and basic needs Get enough to eat Self-compassion REDUCE STRESS Remove yourself from stressful situations Prioritize self-care Limit stress in your life Embrace stress-reducing practices Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 8

9 Activate the 5 senses Just 10 Minutes exercise CAUTION DISTRACTION UNCOVER FEELINGS Uncovering what you are feeling Emotional awareness Try to discover what feelings prompt your emotional eating Tune into physical sensation of emotion Begin paying attention to your mood SIT WITH DIFFICULT EMOTIONS Difficult emotions are seen as unacceptable in our society Sit with difficult emotions Letting yourself feel the full range of emotions Get comfortable being uncomfortable Emotions last 90 seconds Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 9

10 In order to bring the pain forward, you have to choose to welcome it into your present awareness, feed the flame of that pain, add fuel to the fire using your thoughts to enhance the pain. Brandon Bays Self compassion Self love Let go of control OTHER STRATEGIES SPIRITUALITY Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 10

11 SPIRITUAL CONCEPTS DEFINITIONS Not the same thing as religion "God disclaimer Dictionary definition An inner journey that enables a person to discover their authentic self Many different non-religious manifestations of spirituality THE IMPACT OF SPIRITUALITY Spirituality is closely connected with well-being and health Connects the whole person Improved health maintenance behaviors Better mental health, better connections in their community, and feel more optimistic and hopeful about the future On well-being Better able to cope with terminal illness Increases strength and size of social groups Sacred time can decrease stress Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 11

12 THE IMPACT OF SPIRITUALITY On coping and Quality of Life (QoL) Spiritual people have many advantages In one study asking about how they were coping with cancer In another study looking at 90 HIV-positive individuals Another study looked at 145 parents of children who had died of cancer 4 BELIEFS AND APPROACHES TO LIFE 1. Be open to life s mysteries 2. Explore the direction, meaning, and purpose of life 3. Foster interconnectedness and wholeness 4. Believe in self-discovery and inner growth VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY We are not just our physical body Everything is made up of energy and is bound together by an energy field Everything vibrates with energy This energy can be called an aura Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 12

13 VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY This connection makes us part of the divine This energy connects us to other living things and the universe Our energy can become blocked, dark, or blocked Our thoughts are types of vibrations Our vibrational energy is a magnet WHY TO INCREASE VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY Your vibrational frequency demonstrates your alignment with the source / life force energy You see more coincidences but feel that they are cosmic winks that are signs Increased patience and compassion See more clearly and realize that you are the creator of your experience You can offer love more easily and consistently You see unplanned events not as inconvenient but as an opportunity WHY INCREASE VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY You may spend your time differently or distance yourself from people and activities that are no longer in alignment with your beliefs You are more aware of what is in line with your truth Problems have faded, not necessarily because they have gone away but because of your perspective on them You have a better ability to gauge others integrity and you attract more people with integrity into your life You feel the need for less control in your life You embody joy Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 13

14 WAYS TO INCREASE VIBRATIONAL FREQUENCY Focus on breathing Feel your feelings and process them Cultivate compassion Repeat a mantra I am divine love Things you enjoy SPIRITUAL AWAKENING What is it? Other words associated with Spiritual Awakening Core of permanent transformation SPIRITUAL AWAKENING Many tools to support spiritual awakening Open ourselves up to infinite possibilities of support and love "We are not human beings on a spiritual journey. We are spiritual beings on a human journey We begin to see the possibilities Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 14

15 SPIRITUAL AWAKENING Can be a difficult path Extreme suffering Pain and intense suffering Spiritual awakening is a death of mistaken identity SPIRITUAL AWAKENING One might experience Aloneness Expansive awareness Awareness beyond the mind/body Feeling part of nature, pulses of energy, expansive consciousness Feeling untrapped by ego SPIRITUAL AWAKENING Experiences of Spiritual Awakening Raptures of the heart Experience a deep peace and sense of total stillness internally Experience the Divine in everyone and everything Utter gratitude Merging with spiritual essence Movement to authentic self from merely personality Less energized or moved by ego s pull Continual letting go of the ego and experiencing this freedom How? Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 15

16 LIMITING BELIEFS Based on our experiences We were wounded or rejected and we accepted that as how the future would be We put on armor to stay safe EXAMPLES OF LIMITING BELIEFS I m not good enough. I don t know enough. I am afraid I will fail. I m afraid of what people will think. Having money is for other people but not me. It s harder for me to make money that it is for others. I don t deserve it. Want to believe the worst Don t read the comments NEGATIVITY BIAS Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 16

17 LOOPING When we act out of negative, limiting thoughts, we deepen those thoughts Much more likely to make the same choices next time Repeating pattern Pattern is rooted in fear and we keep playing it out over and over again. This confines us. Results in suffering. TRUTH VS REALITY Reality = your thoughts, your beliefs Truth = what is really happening Your beliefs are real but they re not true. IT S TIME TO WAKE UP Illusion exists because it s not investigated. The point isn't to get rid of thoughts. The point is to not believe them and to not let them create your reality. Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 17

18 Why do you stay in prison when the door is wide open? - Rumi LET IT RAIN R Realize It Isn t True A Allow Yourself To Feel I Investigate The Message N Now Choose Love and Let Go CULTIVATE NEW BELIEFS DAILY What would you do if you didn t believe your limiting beliefs? If you knew you couldn t fail? Who would you be? Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 18

19 Only when I know who I am will I know what is possible. - Ram Dass YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF What is your Authentic Self? Authentic Self vs False Self Authentic Self = who you know you are deep inside, who you were destined and created to be False Self = who they say you should be, feels inauthentic like something is missing, a hole in your soul SPIRITUAL PRACTICES Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 19

20 DISCOVER YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF Who are you? Not mom, teacher, health provider, coach, etc. Your skills Your experience Your knowledge Your innate talents DISCOVER YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF Discover Your Authentic Self What did you want to be when you grew up? What do you most enjoy doing during your free time? What kind of music do you like? What kind of clothes do you prefer to wear? What makes you laugh out loud? Seek our spiritual connection Look to the love LETTING GO Detachment and its relationship to freedom How to catch a monkey Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 20

21 ADDICTIONS/ATTACHMENTS We all have some addictions/attachments Most common addictions/attachments Alcohol Drugs Gambling Sex Food Late Nights Escapism ADDICTIONS/ATTACHMENTS Less obvious addictions / attachments Complaining Weight Hair color Spouses behavior Schedule Roles Status The next gadget Gossiping Envy Pride Body Talent Accomplishments DETACHMENT Detachment not about the external Doing what needs to be done and not worrying about the rest Detachment and its relationship to freedom Detachment doesn t mean not caring It means that we aren t attached to the conditions for caring for someone Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 21

22 6 STEPS TO LETTING GO 1. Acknowledge what you re attached to 2. Explore why you re attached to this particular thing / idea 3. Process it 4. Find another way to meet your needs 5. Freedom 6. Practice, practice, practice THE ROLE OF FEAR IN LETTING GO Fear holds us back It keeps us in the shadows wondering how to engage with our lives We avoid the things that are unpleasant or uncomfortable for us Face and Embrace Method 1. Acknowledge it 2. Embrace it 3. Release it THE OPPOSITE OF FEAR Faith is the opposite of fear Faith can actually counteract fear Trust is part of faith Bottom line We need to accept fear because it s part of who we are We need to embrace it as we would embrace a small child Once we face and embrace our fears Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 22

23 THE EGO VS. AUTHENTIC SELF The Ego Resentment Self-importance Pride Egoism Complain Self-denial Jealousy Social intolerance The Authentic Self Forgiveness Shared credit/importance Love Altruism Gratefulness Self-acceptance Co-happiness Social acceptance THE EGO VS. AUTHENTIC SELF The Ego Anger Power Living up to shoulds Materialism Consumption Madness Doing War The Authentic Self Happiness Humble Acceptance and Nonjudgment Spiritualism Simplicity Wisdom Being Peace THE EGO VS. AUTHENTIC SELF Ego needs to be integrated into your self with love Embrace your ego, acknowledge and accept it Then you can have a conscious relationship The ego can be fed or faced The un-faced ego is what stands in our way Otherwise we re only becoming attached to an egoless existence Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 23

24 THE EGO VS. THE SOUL The ego is the defensive self Something subconscious unless brought into awareness Our personality is our ego Learn the difference between your authentic and defensive self Quiet your mind Let your soul speak through creativity Observe limiting or egoistic behavior Surround yourself with others like you HOW TO USE WITH CLIENTS HOW TO INTEGRATE INTO COACHING Add these practices to your work with clients Add as much as you re comfortable with Start with Psychology All clients have negative behaviors or habits or emotional numbing These techniques will be super useful in your exploration of how to help clients get to a deeper level of change. Begin with one or two practices and increase as you get more comfortable Ask client what they re comfortable with and follow their lead Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 24

25 HOW TO INTEGRATE INTO COACHING Spirituality Start with your own spiritual transformation Use the practices to help you toward your own spiritual awakening and enlightenment Need to use the practices to teach the practices Not all clients will be ready for each practice Need to get them to agree to explore this area Very personal and personalized CASE STUDY EXAMPLES CASE STUDY EXAMPLES Juan has been having difficulty lately. He s feeling as though his life lacks meaning and purpose. He feels like he doesn t know where to find this meaning and purpose. He s been in a series of disastrous romantic relationships over the past few years. He gets the feeling that he s been trying to plug a hole with these relationships. Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 25

26 SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT SKILLS LAB ASSIGNMENT What are your initial thoughts about Sally s example? Is she ready for psychological practices? What psychological practices could you use to help her? Is she ready for spiritual practices? What spirituality practices could you use to help her? END OF MODULE 6 Please submit your Skills Lab Assignment by the due date on your Session Calendar. Transforma(onal Nutri(on, Inc. 26