Better Than Before Gretchen Rubin

Transcription

1 Better Than Before Gretchen Rubin Reviewed by Robert Schmidt Why read this book? The author of the blockbuster New York Times bestsellers, The Happiness Project and Happier at Home, tackles the critical question: How do we change? Gretchen Rubin's answer: through habits. Habits are the invisible architecture of everyday life. It takes work to make a habit, but once that habit is set, we can harness the energy of habits to build happier, stronger, more productive lives. So if habits are a key to change, then what we really need to know is: How do we change our habits? Let s find out! To shape our habits successfully, we must know ourselves. When we give more to ourselves, we can ask more from ourselves. We should make sure the things we do to feel better don t make us feel worse. What saves a man is to take a step. Then another step. It is always the same step, but you have to take it. Antoine de Saint-Exupéry We want good habits- but we also want to make life easier and more pleasant. A key step for the Strategy of Monitoring is to identify precisely what action is to be monitored. If we want something to count in our lives, we should figure out a way to count it. We can only build our habits on the foundation of our own nature. The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself- not what other people value, or expect from me- the more likely I am to stick to my habits. BLUE SKY LEADERSHIP CONSULTING PETER@BLUESKYLEADERSHIP.COM Blue Sky Leadership Consulting works with organizations to leverage Strategic Thinking and Execution Planning and we encompass many of the principles in these books into our Four Decisions TM methodology and development of your company s One Page Strategic Plans. Need to grow top line revenue? Improve bottom-line profits? Build accountable and trusting teams? Improve cash flow? Develop leadership team members? Contact us for a free consultation Copyright 2017 Blue Sky Leadership Consulting All rights reserved

2 Self Knowledge The first and most important habit question is: How does a person respond to an expectation? The Fateful Tendencies We Bring into The World: The Four Tendencies Upholder- respond readily to outer and inner expectations; they want to know what is expected of them and plan to meet those expectations; they avoid making mistakes or letting people downincluding themselves. Questioner- question all expectations and respond to an expectation only if they conclude that it makes sense; they are motivated by reason, logic and fairness; they decide for themselves whether a course of action is a good idea, and they resist doing anything that seems to lack sound purpose. Obliger- meet outer expectations but struggle to meet inner expectations; motivated by external accountability and goes to great lengths to meet their responsibilities; difficult for them to selfmotivate. Rebel- resist all expectations, outer and inner alike; they choose to act from a sense of choice or freedom; they resist control, even self-control and enjoy flouting rules and expectations. Just because something s fun for someone else doesn t mean it s fun for me. Different Solutions for Different People Am I a lark (morning person) or an owl (night person)? Am I a marathoner, a sprinter or a procrastinator? Am I an underbuyer or an overbuyer? Am I a simplicity lover or abundance lover? Am I a finisher or an opener? Am I a familiarity lover or a novelty lover? Am I promotion focused or prevention-focused? Do I like to take small steps or big steps? B o o k R e v i e w : B e t t e r T h a n B e f o r e P a g e 2 5

3 Pillars of Habits Many strategies help us change our habits and four strategies tower above the others: Monitoring, Foundation, Scheduling and Accountability. We Manage What We Monitor Identify precisely what action you want monitored- Call one client a day ; Read the news every morning ; 10,000 steps every day Habits gradually change the face of one s life as time changes one s physical faceand one does not know it Virginia Woolf First Things First: Foundation Sleep Move Eat and drink right Unclutter If It s On The Calendar, It Happens: Scheduling Habits grow strongest and fastest when they re repeated in predictable ways Forces us to confront the natural limits of the day, week, month or year Someone s Watching: Accountability If we believe someone s watching we behave differently o Upholder- systems of self-accountability o Obliger- team up with an accountability partner o Questioner-? o Rebel-?? The Best Time to Begin Any new beginning presents an important opportunity for habit formation because it combines the power of novelty with the desired new habit. It s Enough to Begin: First Steps Temporary Becomes Permanent: Clean Slate Data Point of One: Lightning Bolt It is well to yield up a pleasure, when pain goes with it. Publius Syrus B o o k R e v i e w : B e t t e r T h a n B e f o r e P a g e 3 5

4 Desire, Ease and Excuses Free from French Fries: Abstaining It s Hard to Make Things Easier: Convenience Change My Surroundings, Not Myself: Inconvenience A Stumble May Prevent a Fall: Safeguards Nothing Stays in Vegas: Loophole-Spotting Wait fifteen Minutes: Distraction No Finish Line: Reward Just Because: Treats Sitting is the New Smoking: Pairing We can only build our habits on the foundation of our own nature. Unique, Just Like Everyone Else While we can learn about ourselves by looking in the mirror- as in the Self Knowledge section- we also learn about ourselves in comparison to others. When we understand ourselves better, we can do a better job of shaping our habits. Choose My Bale of Hay: Clarity I m The Fussy One: Identity Not Everyone is Like Me: Other People Everyday Life in Utopia: Conclusion Tomorrow, without making any decisions, without exerting any willpower, I ll wake up at 6:00 am, kiss Jamie while he s still asleep, work on the computer for an hour, wake Eliza and Eleanor, fix the family breakfast (I ll have three scrambled eggs, no oatmeal), stand on one leg in the elevator, walk Eleanor to school, sit down at my clutter-free desk again and so on. Those habits wouldn t make everyone happy, but they make me very happy. B o o k R e v i e w : B e t t e r T h a n B e f o r e P a g e 4 5

5 Our Faculty Peter Braeuler Mark Wittig Malcolm Robert Coon Schmidt Judy Zimmerman Andrew Wittig 2017 Calendar UTSA EMBA Alumni 7:30 8:45 Houston Wittigs 11:30 1:00 San Antonio Wittigs 8:00 9:30 AM Better than Before: What I learned about my Sep 8 Sep 21 Sep 22 bad habits Ego is the Enemy Oct 6 Oct 26 Oct 27 Leaders Eat Last Nov 3 Nov 16 Nov 17 Winning Dec 1 Dec 14 Dec 15 Actions 1. What thought or idea had the biggest impact on you today? 2. What is one specific action you will take TODAY from what was discussed? 3. HOW will you implement this action? Issue9 Copyright 2017 Blue Sky Leadership Consulting All rights reserved