NLP FAQ. Morpheus Institute Manual. NLP faq Jan Heering 2008 v1.0

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1 NLP FAQ Morpheus Institute Manual

2 NLP FAQ E book version 1.0 May 2008 Published by Morpheus Institute fear release.com 1

3 PLEASE NOTE: You Do NOT Have the Right to Reprint or Resell This NLP faq e-book You May NOT Give Away, Sell or Share The Content Herein If you obtained this NLP faq e-book from anywhere other than then we are sorry to say that you have a pirated copy. Please help us to stop Internet crime by reporting this to: support-ebook@phobia-fear-release.com Disclaimer - Important Notice Please Read Carefully This publication is intended to provide accurate and authoritative information on the subject matter covered. Any use of the information in this book is at the reader s discretion. The treatment procedures mentioned in this manual are not intended to replace medical or psychiatric treatment. The author and publisher specifically disclaim any and all liability arising directly or indirectly from the use of application of any information contained in this book. If professional medical or psychological advice or other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. Copyright Copyright Jan Heering 2008 All rights reserved in all media, including future media. No part of this NLP faq e-book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form whatsoever, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any informational storage or retrieval system without express written, dated and signed permission from the author. 2

4 Frequently Asked Questions General NLP What is NLP? NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is the detection, evolution and use of the conscious and unconscious thoughts and behavioral patterns that we are constantly experiencing. This is why NLP is at the cutting-edge of communications and is so often used to enhance professional development and personal performance. NLP is about how people learn, communicate, change, and evolve themselves. It was originally developed by studying patterns of communicating and thinking used by highly successful people. NLP provides specific skills to create change in a person s self and life. It gives people tools to assist others in becoming more resourceful and effective. NLP can greatly improve your communication skills, is truly empowering and helps you do whatever you do - better! What are the benefits of NLP? You can use NLP to help you achieve goals, improve relationships, control you own mental state, create powerful new mental states and communicate quickly and effectively. Using NLP can help you in all areas of your life such as your career, relationships, health, and overall well being. 3

5 Is NLP a form of psychotherapy? No psychotherapy helps you to understand your blocks and limitations NLP offers you tools to change them! Psychotherapy is helpful to give you insight and understanding into problem behavior but on its own, it is not always able to change those behaviours. NLP creates change in behaviour and is designed as a short-term treatment whereas psychotherapy treatment is longer-term. NLP resolves most issues in one to five treatments. What makes NLP treatment so effective? NLP is able to be highly effective because of the way your subconscious mind works. It stores all of your earliest emotional, thoughts and experiences - positive and negative. These stored thoughts then go on to create the beliefs that you hold about yourself. Each person has a totally unique way of processing any information that comes their way. The stored thoughts plus the uniquely processed information equals the patterns of behaviour in your life now. Some patterns may be good while others make us feel as if we are stuck in a rut, or unable to change. You may find it difficult to have a good relationship; you may find that you have a lot of conflict at work. Maybe your finances are always in a mess, or you have an addictive personality or are always ill. The basis of all of your experiences starts in your subconscious mind along with the "programming" that you have created based on this subconscious information. You can use NLP to work with these subconscious beliefs. You will be able to modify negative programming which then allows you to break these old patterns and make positive, lasting changes in your life. 4

6 Who uses NLP? Anyone who:- Interacts with other people. Wants to connect better with others. Wants to grow as a person. Wants to get the most out of their life! Wants to be the best that they can be! Teachers and Trainers who wish to support their students in achieving their goals. Students who learn new skills and then use them for coping with the pressures of school. Students who are willing to recognize and acknowledge what they need to change so that they can better engage in the process of learning. Parents who are now becoming more comfortable at interacting with their children so that everyone in the family feels that they are seen, heard and respected. Parents who wish to develop practical skills to help their children with learning issues, problems at school problems. Parents who wish to give their children the tools to swim strongly in the difficult waters of life. Managers and Business people who wish to improve their communication skills, build stronger teams who are more resourceful, wish to improve their leadership skills and participate more effectively in negotiation and problem solving sessions. 5

7 Sales people who want to learn how to quickly and effectively establish rapport with their clients, determine their needs and expectations, position their product or service and establish successful long-term relationships. Mental Health Professionals who learn how important it is to take care of themselves, and to help their clients with the new insights and skills gained from working with NLP. Medical Practitioners who wish to establish stronger rapport and work as a team with their patients and gain a better understanding of the role that beliefs can play in the health (or disease) of a person. Athletes and Entertainers who benefit by learning how to focus on their goals, draw on their inner resources and identify and deal with those behaviours that don t support who they see themselves capable of becoming. Anyone who wants more out of their life, who wants to improve communication at home or at work, who would like to help others, who wants to improve their physical, emotional and mental health can benefit from NLP. What are NLP pre-suppositions? A presupposition is a background belief. NLP pre-suppositions are the belief system of NLP. Here are some of the best-known NLP pre-suppositions: If you keep doing what you're doing now - you are going to get the same results as you are getting now. If it isn t working for you now why repeat it? This is why continuing to do something because "that's the way we've always done it" is not always the best way to do it! 6

8 If you want something different you must do something different, and keep changing your behaviour until you get the result that you want. The person with the most choices in a situation is likely to get the best outcome. For example, if you go into a situation with only one outcome in mind - and you don't achieve that particular outcome then you're stuck. However, if you have thought our several acceptable outcomes (from "most preferred" to "least preferred") then it is likely that you will get at least one of your preferred outcomes. You cannot not communicate This pre-supposition points out that we are constantly communicating, by what we say, by what we don't say, and by a many non-verbal signals so a person cannot avoid personal responsibility simply by keeping quiet.. In other words, more may be gained by accepting responsibility for one's actions, than by trying to say nothing. The meaning of your communication is the response that you get This supposes that people will respond to what they think you mean, which may be an accurate (or inaccurate) interpretation of what you really mean. The lesson here is that we need to be constantly aware of how other people are responding to what we're saying, and adjust our communication where necessary instead of just assuming that they will have understood what we meant them to understand. Everyone has all of the resources they need This NLP pre-supposition is often mis-quoted. It was originally said by Milton Erickson (one of the therapists who Richard Bander and John Grinder observed when they were creating NLP). What Erickson actually said was that each client already had all the resources that they needed to be able to deal with the problem that brought them to see him. 7

9 What he meant was that on some level they already knew how the problem had arisen and therefore already knew everything that they needed to resolve the problem. Isn t it true? We often know the answer to a problem that we have but we don t always want that answer to be the right one! Every behaviour has a positive intention This is probably the most controversial of the NLP presuppositions as it is very open to misinterpretation. What this means is that every behaviour has a positive intention - as far as the person exhibiting the behaviour is concerned. This does not mean that the behaviour is the best possible choice or that the behaviour will have positive benefits for anyone else. Every behaviour is appropriate in some context What this means is that we often use a certain behavior because it once worked for us. The problem with this is that the behavior can become habitual and so we continue to use it, even when it doesn t work any more. A map is not the territory it depicts; words are not the things they describe; symbols are not the things they represent This is probably the most often quoted of all the NLP suppositions. It means that we are always slightly separated from 'reality'. We have maps, but the map is not the place it depicts. In other words, we need to be responsive to what is really happening around us instead of complaining that things aren't as they "should be". 8

10 Your mind and your body are indivisible parts of the same system Practical, scientifically verifiable evidence has come to light in the last couple of decades that shows that the immune system, for example, is linked to brain activity so that, for example, mental stress can limit the way the immune system performs which leads to poor health. If one person can do something, anyone else can learn to do it Having said that, the person who is learning the skill must have the necessary aptitude, and be willing to carry out any necessary selfdevelopment. There is no such thing as failure, only feedback Edison identified about 1,000 materials which don t work as filaments for a light bulb before he found one which worked. A number of best-selling books were turned down by at least two dozen publishers before they were finally accepted for publication. And don t forget poor talent scout at Decca records who said that the Beatles had no future in music! When something doesn't go as we wanted it to, we label it as a failure. But what happens if we see that situation as feedback rather than failure simply a lesson in how not to do something? Now instead of being wrong we've learned something and instead of feeling defeated we make a new plan of action and try again. Change makes Change NLP recognizes that changing your own behaviour has an effect on the people around you. There is an experiment which shows the truth of this presupposition. Groups of three people were seated in an empty room so that they were each more or less facing both of the other two people. 9

11 Nobody spoke; no one moved, gestured or sent overt non-verbal messages. And yet...in every trial, it took less than two minutes for the person with the strongest feelings at the time (positive or negative) to make the other two people feel that emotion. Genuine Understanding only comes from Experience This is the NLP version of the Native American belief that you don t know what someone is going through until you walk a mile in his moccasins. In other words, you don't really understand something until you have done it yourself. Notice that all NLP pre-suppositions have a positive perspective. How can I Learn More about NLP? Reading books and articles there are now many books about NLP as well as an abundance of information on the Internet. Attend a seminar there are regular free NLP seminars in Milton Keynes and London. Book a coaching session these are very beneficial and can help you to make a change and achieve a personal goal. What if NLP does not work for me? The simple truth would be that you did not use it. It s a bit like having a gym membership, not going to the gym and then wondering why you haven t toned up. Having knowledge of NLP does not mean you have the skills. You may read a lot about it and be familiar with the terminology but to get benefits from NLP you have to use it! 10

12 Frequently Asked Questions NLP for Phobias Will I have to re-live my phobia during NLP? No that s the beauty of NLP. Many other phobia treatments will expect you to confront or even endure your phobia at some point. NLP doesn t. You simply watch yourself going through it and then watch yourself watching yourself! Am I likely to lose control during NLP? No you will be in control at all times. If at any time you feel uncomfortable, simply stop, take a deep breath and start again when you are ready. How can NLP work so fast when other treatments are slow? Because it works on re-creating new pathways in your brain. You simply break one link and replace it with a pleasurable one. It s as simple as that. I m taking anti-anxiety medication/anti-depressants. When the NLP works, should I stop taking them? No don t ever stop taking these types of medications abruptly. The great news is that you probably won t need them after your NLP session(s) but they must be tapered off under a Doctor s supervision. If you just stop taking them you could suffer some unpleasant side effects. I want to be rid of my phobia but I m scared of treatment even though you say NLP is safe and I won t have to confront my phobia. Is this normal? Completely normal. We naturally fear change and although your phobia is unpleasant, it is normal for you. Also, because your phobia causes you such terror, it is a scary thought to square up to it and say I ve had enough but we promise you that the treatment will not be unpleasant and the payoff is huge freedom at last! 11

13 I don t understand what a sub modality is and how knowing mine can help me. A sub modality is simply a way of measuring an experience, whether it be by sight, hearing, taste, touch or smell. Most people have one dominant sense. Try and think back to an event, such as a wedding that you went to. What is your strongest memory of that event is it the beautiful bride in her gown (sight), the sound of the church bells (hearing), the wonderful wedding feast (taste), the hugs that you got from relatives you hadn t seen for a while (touch) or the amazing flowers in the church (smell). It s likely that whatever is your strongest memory is your modality. It can help to know this so that you can tailor the NLP exercises to work with your strongest sense this brings quicker and stronger results. If you have more than one sub modality, try them all and see which one feels right for you. NLP is very flexible and there is no right and wrong whatever works for you is the way to go. Do I need to do any preparation before doing the NLP Exercises? Again, it depends what works best for you. If you just want to get straight in and perform the exercise(s) then go ahead. Some people like a little more warm up and like to know more about what is involved and why, so they may like to read the full introductions and added information about the exercises. Just be guided by how you feel and what seems right for you. Listen to your gut instinct. How many exercises will I need to do? Some people find that just one will work for them. Others need (or want) to do more. 12

14 How many times will I need to do them? Again, some people find that once does the trick. Others need to do them a couple of dozen times. The average is between one and five treatments but try not to get hung up on this. It s important that you work at your speed and keep going until you feel happy with the benefits. What if the NLP wears off and my phobia comes back? Once you have re-trained your brain by breaking the old, habitual links to your phobia and replacing them with pleasurable ones, it is unlikely that it will wear off and allow your phobia to return. However, if at any time you wish to repeat the exercises, please do. The general rule is that the more you do them, the more effective they are. 13

15 MORPHEUS Institute Meerpaal ZM Amstelveen Netherlands fear release.com 14

Increase your Rapport skills in Health and Well-being, Business and Relationships

Increase your Rapport skills in Health and Well-being, Business and Relationships by Nadine K. Cooper Present State Desired State RESOURCES What you do speaks louder than what you say! NLP Individual Ecology