AGAPE LOVE COUNSELING MODULE

Transcription

1 AGAPE LOVE COUNSELING MODULE Ab. Aziz Mohd Yatim 1, Ahmad Jazimin Jusoh 2, Md. Noor Saper 3, Taqudin Abd. Mukti 4 Department of Psychology and Counselling,Faculty of Education and Human Development, Sultan Idris Education University, Tanjong Malim, Perak, Malaysia 2 ahmadjazimin@yahoo.com Abstract Love and belonging is the basic requirement needed by human being. Day by day, the love culture has been faded through the globalization. Agape Love arises from the concept of unconditional love that is synonymous with counseling elements. This article discussed the application of Agape Love Counseling as a strategy in counseling profession. The findings are expected to provide a new input into strengthening the counseling strategies. Keywords : love and belonging, Agape Love, counseling module, counseling strategies 1. Introduction Hasnah (1982) claims that a person with counseling knowledge but did not apply the knowledge itself, cannot be considered as a professional. The competency and the accountability issues among counselors always been discussed. This has been affected the image and the counseling profesion credibility. Thus, the counseling training is very important in producing a truly credible counselor and cannot be negleted. Counselor education training institutions, particularly in higher education had put so much effort to provide training and supervision in order to produce high level of professionalism among the counselor to be. Several approaches and curriculum has been designed by some form of training in and outside the classroom. In relation to the matter, the content of the training of counselors who actually identified a strong need to not only involve the cognitive domain but the cognitive, affective and psychomotor domains. Love and belonging which is the combination of cognitive and affective domain, should be understood by the counselors. Psychologists often associate the mind and affection between human behavior. They make analysis and prediction of human behavior, including love and compassion. Love is an issue that is often associated with human relationships. The problem occurs when many teenagers at school is associated with a lack of affection. Lack of affection can cause delirium person. Love has strongly connection with human relations. Without the relationship or interaction between human as a result the social life would not exist. Since time immemorial, people have to live in groups. With their lives in groups, they can help each other. For example, we can see between students and students, or students with teachers when they are at school. A good relationship is associated with love. Agape Love counseling module is an approach of how an element of love applied to be a counselor. This is important so that those who are to counseling practitioners will be able to put an element of love in their service. 2. The counselor's role The scenario today urged counselors to act more active and efficient. Various issues and problems in a borderless world needs more creative counselor in the terms of intervention. Process based on that matters the prevention should be more priority to recovery. Mohd. Tajudin (2004), insists that counselor in the school setting, the workplace and in society should be more 128

2 appropriate as a role of prevention and able to see the program in the form of various stages and approaches that may involve more target groups. Counselors need to plan a variety of activities and approaches for appreciation of love in order to produce a balanced personality in turn meet their development. Counselors need to be creative to design and handle any problems that occur in the profession (Ab. Aziz and Ahmad Jazimin 2003). The concept of love and belonging that became the slogan for some of counseling unit should be more than just a slogan. It s should be the most important focus in helping individuals and groups. Counselors need to be creative in doing intervention by blending the concept with practical and well planned approach. 3. Love and belonging Love and belonging is often associated with social problems among youths and students. Children who is leck of love from parents have more potential to be involved in delinquent behavior. The absence of love made them willing to do anything to attract the attention of others in order to get love. For these reasons, some of them turned to their delinquent peers, to get the attention of the adults. Mohammad Aziz (2004) reported a study made by researchers at the University of Chicago, showed syndrome less attention and affection evident in the cities, especially to the parents who are busy working. This made teens feel lonely and demotivated. An average time shared by the teenagers and their parents was just 12 hours a week in which most of the time while eating and watching television together. It showed that, affection gives significant implications for the development of the adolescent. Love and belonging is not something that can be measured with numbers but can be recognised through the style and behavior of an individual. According to an expert in the area of human intelligence, love is made up of three components: intimacy, passion and commitment and the love that the matter can be measured. Love can express the happiness together. Noncompliance with the demands but instead ask but give sincerity. Love is mutual understanding stretched out their hearts (Hamdan 2002). Love and belonging has a significant relationship and as a development essential. According to James & Gillililand (2003, p. 203), love and belonging incorporate not only our need for nonsexual love but also for loving sex, caring relationship, self-worth, and some proof that we are valued or prized by others. The concept of love and belonging is inculcated by the counselor is whether the love of God, parents, teachers, friends and country patterned unconditionally and ask for nothing in return. They will create a partnership, hope and mutual help and need. They will equally share the successes and difficulties. 4. Agape Love Counseling Module Based on Choice Theory, which is emphasized the importance of love and belonging in life, then this is where the idea of the importance of counselors occured in finding appropriate strategies to create an element of love in life. In Agape Love, the concept of unconditional love is needed to avoid any emotional boundaries that can apart the relationship with each other. Agape Love concept is in line with what was emphasized by Glasser (1965, 1998 and 2000) in the introduction of Choice Theory, that man has freedom, can make responsible choices and options. Each individual can effectively control their lives if the individual is willing to try to define the goals, because according to this therapy all human behavior is generated from the internal to achieve five basic needs. James & Gilliland (2003) noted that Choice Theory explains the development of human personality and attempts to fullfill our five basic innate needs of love and belonging, power, freedom, fun and survival. The first basic need is love and belonging. The love and belonging needs such as affection and belonging to the family, friends, employers and the people around. The second basic need is the power of a self-esteem needs, appreciated and compete with others. The next basic need is freedom. Freedom in this context means that the individual has a desire to make the appropriate choose what to her. In addition, through the freedom that found 129

3 individuals tend to make decisions about what they want in life. The fourth basic need is fun, to enable the individual to play, relax, laugh, happy, recreation. The last basic need in life is survival, which covers the need of life, sex, procreation, and the struggle to preserve the human spicies (Glasser 1965;1986). Agape Love counseling module is applied by means of storytelling and sharing life, with participants about the love that they play in the world. This module is run in large groups and accompanied by relaxing music with the aim that participants can reflect on the extent of the story told by the counselor seems to be similar to what happens in reality life course participants. Unlimited number of course participants from 30 people to 500 people. What is important during handling of this course is to engage participants in the concentration and appreciate the narrative made by the counselor. Here counselor will focus on appreciating the story is that the application of affection to be applied is what happened to him. Participants were exposed to storytelling is a leader red-indian people named White Eagle. The late John Lennon, has written a song related to Agape Love. John Lennon asked the head of the apache it tells what it is Agape Love. This is the beginning story of the White Eagle. White Eagle is a leader who has charisma. He was admired by his followers and all his words are like pearls. What is more interesting about the White Eagle, is that he can make all his followers to practice and cultivate an approach Agape Love of unconditional love. All members of the community so loved the White Eagle with each other. They help each other and there are no hurt, backstabbed, hatred, contemption, consider a low, is not trusted, was eliminated and the like. If any member of the community members who are grieving, then there are people who will provide support, as well as the successes achieved by members of the public will be welcomed by all segments of society. This is a culture that can be applied by the White Eagle. This brings the endless fun at anyone who is involved in the community, led by the White Eagle. Life is so significant within the community environment here. An expression that is very significant that all members of the public here is to use every time they met each other they would give `hello 'with the expression of You I Love means loving unconditionally. The participants will be informed that White Eagle have a daughter named Red Blossom and a his beloved grandson. His grandson was almost 2 years old. He only know how to say mama, papa and grandpa. His grandchildren have not been good at running fully. What is interesting is that on a day when the White Eagle was walking alone, he suddenly heard a child's voice calling "..., grandpa... grandpa...". When the White Eagle looked back, he saw his grandson running and fell as he tried to approach him. White Eagle hugging his grandson who loved it and unexpectedly grandchildren whispered the White Eagle; Grandpa You I Love Grandpa You I Love Grandpa You I Love White Eagle do not believe what he heard. He kept hugging his grandson and said Grandson You I Love too while he wept. White Eagle believes men are not supposed to cry, but when it happened, he could not help feeling caused by the affection which is felt to result from the expression of his grandson You I Love not know how to speak. On a day when the White Eagle went out for hunting with Red Blossom s husband a tragedy happens in their place. Cowboy white attack their village that many of those killed and many houses burned. White Eagle was unable to accept this fact as long as he applied the concept of love in the community. Finally he ordered his people no longer practice the concept of agape love that is rooted in love. They began to hate other races, especially white cowboy. They began to tarnish their faces with colors to show them aggressive. They began to attack and kill without reason. Until now, when we see the Red Indians, we will associate with the violence committed by them. A century later a missionary came and wanted to spread the agape love among the Indians. They did not accept it because they say that due to the cowboy is what makes the Indians no longer believe that concept again. They throw stones and chase the missionaries. The missionaries fled at the end of the village and eventually founded a school there alone. Patience 130

4 grace where increasingly many people who helped her and many others with him after that. Agape Love shape their lives back and love each other again. After the counselor tells the story of the existence of Agape Love earlier, the counselor will relate to the meaning of this story of love among the participants in the form of reality. Typically participants will share their feelings about the existence of love that it faces. The counselors refer to hear and entertain so the process is dynamic and at the end of the course participants will be able to feel that every one that is in the course have meaning to each other. The implication of You I Love, will be published among participants. At that time, the counselor may notice some resistance among the participants and do not want to accept the fact that the love and affection that is needed in life. 5. Conclusion Not all counselors can be a practitioner who can apply their knowledge to help people. Mohd. Tajudin (2004) insists that counselors should solidify new skills and knowledge to cope with the various communities. Zuria, Noriah and Amla (2003) states that counseling is extremely important strategy dominated by counselors to attend to a variety of clients. The issue of the specialist training in more specialized form also emphasized by Abdul Halim (1999) to strengthen the counseling field. Accordingly Agape Love module has been carried out in various settings with consideration of counseling skills that have been applied in the case of groups focusing on just pave the added value in the field of counseling counselor to make it proactive in carrying out activities to help clients. Indirectly, who introduced this application can benefit counselor to learn the techniques applied love in practical and not just stay in seminar papers only. References 6. Ab Aziz Mohd Yatim & Ahmad Jazimin (2003). Kreativiti dalam menangani masalah disiplin mengikut perspektif kaunseling : satu model. Kertas Kerja Konvensyen PERKAMA kali ke Xl (25 27 Jun 2003). 7. Abdul Halim Othman (1999). Kaunseling untuk kesejahteraan insan: Satu pengalaman di Malaysia: Pidato Inaugral Universiti Malaysia Sabah. Kuala Lumpur : Cekap Jati Enterprise. 8. Glasser, W. (1965). Reality Therapy: A new approach to psychiatry. New York: Harper & Row. 9. Glasser, W. (1998). Choice theory : A new psychology of personal freedom. New York: Harper & Row. 10. Glasser, W. (2000). Counseling with choice theory : The new reality therapy. New York : Harper & Row. 11. Hasnah Ibrahim (1982). Panduan perkhidmatan penasihat di universiti. Kuala Lumpur: Universiti Teknologi Malaysia. 12. Hamdan Abdul Kadir (2002). Dilema cinta dan cita-cita: Antara kebejatan sosial dan idealisme remaja masa kini. Prosiding Persidangan Kebangsaan Kerja Sosial James, R.K. and Gilliland, B.E. (2003). Theories and strategies in counseling and psychotherapy. Boston: Allyn and Bacon. 14. Mohammad Aziz Shah Mohamed Arip (2004). Delinkuen juvenil dan sosial. Tanjong Malim : Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris. 15. Mohd. Tajudin Ninggal (2003). Kaunseling di abad 21: Antara cabaran dan realiti. Kertas Kerja Konvensyen PERKAMA kali ke Xl (25 27 Jun 2003). 16. Mohd. Tajudin Ninggal (2004). Isu serta permasalahan Dalam Amalan dan Perkhidmatan Kaunseling : Ke arah Profesionalisme dalam Halatuju Kaunseling. Tanjong Malim : Universiti Pendidikan Sultan Idris. 131

5 17. Zuria, Noriah and Amla (2003). Strategi kaunseling dalam menangani masalah pelajar di sekolah: Satu sorotan literatur. Kertas kerja Konvensyen PERKAMA kali ke Xl (25 27 Jun 2003). 132