A Building Blocks approach to harassment, intimidation and bullying

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1 Please note:

2 A Building Blocks approach to harassment, intimidation and bullying Andrew Yeager Student Assistance Coordinator Certified School Psychologist Park Ridge High School

3 Foundations Evolutionary influences Bio-psychosocial factors What is bullying? Special topics: Cyber-bullying Relationship abuse Application, interventions and clinical considerations

4 Evolutionary Psychology Adaptive strategies that promote survival

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6 Cooperation Social networking Interactive Forging relationships

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8 Individual contribution to the group More competitive More individualistic

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10 Emphasis on physical skills (sports/strength) More highly developed social skills Physical competition and physical bullying (visible, blatant) Social competition and social bullying (subtle, secretive)

11 Direct MALE Indirect FEMALE Overt / physical Acquaintance / stranger Environmentally driven Short-term Individual focus Covert / psychological Friend / rival Relationship driven Medium- to long-term Group focus

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13 Value Insult Male Female Virility Status Fidelity Purity Kindness Attractiveness

14 Value Insult Male Female Virility Status Fidelity Purity Kindness Attractiveness Gay / wimp Loser Player

15 Value Insult Male Female Virility Status Fidelity Purity Kindness Attractiveness Gay / wimp Loser Player Slut Bitch Fat/ugly

16 HIERARCHICAL STRUCTURE IN-GROUP VS. OUT- GROUP DISTINCTION Status, power and control Xenophobia, isms

17 Hierarchical competition Respect for authority

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19 Difficulty foreseeing consequences Difficulty postponing gratification / controlling impulses Difficulty handling social pressures Difficulty interpreting others positions, motives Difficulty planning or setting priorities (making wise choices) High pleasure / reward / novelty seeking High risk-taking behavior Heightened emotional reactions

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22 THE CLASSROOM BRAIN HEAT OF THE MOMENT BRAIN

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24 What makes the brain hot Heightened emotion Anger Jealousy Fear Sexual arousal Intoxication Peer pressure Impulsivity immediate gratification

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27 Based on an imbalance of power Intentional Repeated Designed to hurt, humiliate Makes the target feel uncomfortable or threatened

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29 A manifestation of normal psychosocial processes, needs and goals that are accomplished at someone else s expense

30 The motives leading to HIB can be identified and understood; HIB-related behaviors are driven by fundamentally normal motives, needs and goals, but are acted out inappropriately at someone else s expense; Through education and awareness, behavior can change so that motives are achieved without harassing, intimidating and bullying others; When reported, incidents of HIB can be opportunities for learning and growth. Punishment and negative consequences are limited in their ability to change HIBrelated behaviors. Counseling and education are primary.

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33 Attention Identity Reputation Status Approval / acceptance Establish/maintain social hierarchy Bonding Power and control Jealousy or competition Revenge or retaliation On-going conflict On-going conflict Entertainment value Impulsivity Learned behavior Learned biases Risk-taking Rebellion Emotional issues Self-protection False security (particularly cyberbullying)

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38 Predisposition (optional, universal?) Misinterpretation S/He must really love me Normalization Imprisonment (fear, guilt)

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42 If you leave me, I ll: Kill myself Kill you Kill anyone else you re with

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44 Bully Power / control Learned behavior Learned biases Anger Self-protection Jealousy / competition False security Victim Approval / acceptance Bonding Learned behavior Status Attention Emotional issues

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46 Helping the bully, victim and bystander identify Primary and secondary motives Personal role Helping everyone identify Short-term benefits (e.g. bonding, showing off, entertainment) L/T consequences (e.g. guilt, mistrust, I might be next ) Reinforce and support the victim / bystander

47 What they tell others What they tell themselves The real reason

48 She s a bitch She deserved it Jealousy, competition, insecurity

49 AGGRESSOR VICTIM Establish rapport and safety Explore relevant motives Evaluate sincerity Identify healthier options Promote empathy* Evaluate prior interventions* Student input into remedial measures Consider related clinical issues Evaluate and document progress Establish rapport and safety Explore relevant motives Protective strategies (support, supervision and skills) Depersonalization* Identify/enhance social connections Student input into remedial measures Consider related clinical issues Evaluate and document progress

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51 Table 1: Guiding students towards positive, non-hib-related behaviors Guiding students towards positive (non-hib) behaviors

52 Building Block What it is Why it s negative Attention

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54 Prior interventions were solely punitive in nature Punishment triggered retaliation Lack of sincerity or commitment on the part of the student The student (and the counselor) failed to identify the relevant motives (building blocks) The student was reacting based on different motives (additional building blocks) that developed over time The student identified the motive (building block), but was not given the opportunity to practice and evaluate healthier options to satisfy those needs Lack of monitoring or follow-through Outside interference friends and parents

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58 AGGRESSOR VICTIM Establish rapport and safety Explore relevant motives Evaluate sincerity Identify healthier options Promote empathy* Evaluate prior interventions* Student input into remedial measures Consider related clinical issues Evaluate and document progress Establish rapport and safety Explore relevant motives Protective strategies (support, supervision and skills) Depersonalization* Identify/enhance social connections Student input into remedial measures Consider related clinical issues Evaluate and document progress

59 Establish rapport and safety Explore relevant motives Protective strategies (support, supervision and skills) Depersonalization* Identify/enhance social connections Student input into remedial measures Consider related clinical issues Evaluate and document progress

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61 Identity sense of how they see themselves Reputation how others see them Status how much they are valued or respected by others Approval/acceptance whether they are included or accepted by peers Place in the social hierarchy social standing relative to others Bonding or sense of connection with others Power and control actual or perceived ability to influence others

62 Revenge or retaliation direct or indirect retribution On-going conflict escalation of reciprocal aggression Learned behaviors reinforcing behaviors and social dynamics Learned biases reinforcing erroneous beliefs or stereotypes Risk-taking escalation of risky or self-injurious behavior Rebellion direct or indirect acting out Emotional issues exacerbation of anger, resentment, loneliness, guilt, shame, fear, anxiety and stress

63 Type Expected reaction and likely outcome Relevant building blocks and potential payoff (BULLY) Relevant building blocks and potential payoff (VICTIM)

64 PASSIVE PROVOCATIVE

65 Easy target - submissive o o o o o Few or no close friends May appear shy or anxious Often lack willingness or verbal skills to defend oneself Conflict-avoidant, submissive, acquiescent Excessively forgiving Easy target strong o Perceived by others as good sports, thick-skinned, able to take it Willing target o Values inclusion over maltreatment ( paying one s dues for group membership). Distinctive o o Physical appearance (accent, wardrobe, diet, customs) Disability (physical, emotional, cognitive, social)

66 Antagonist Provokes others harassment or bullying for secondary gain Attention, control/manipulation, drama, anger, etc. Crusader Positive or exaggerated self-worth Provokes and takes advantage of victimization as a way to bring attention to a worthy cause or issue (racism, homophobia, etc.) Self-concept: self-proclaimed victim (martyr) Attempt at retribution (superhero fantasy) Self-injurer Self-injury without the knife Self-punishment Self-esteem: self-defeating reinforcement of negative self worth Over-reactor Excessive or bizarre reactions to past bullying acts lead to increased victimization as a way to elicit a similar reaction

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68 Type Expected reaction and likely outcome Relevant building blocks and potential payoff (aggressor) Relevant building blocks and potential payoff (victim) Easy target: (Perceived as submissive)

69 Bullying On-going conflict

70 THE BYSTANDERS? SCHOOL CLIMATE?

71 Victim Anger Hurt Fear Humiliation Injustice Powerlessness I can t do anything about it Bully Guilt Shame Remorse I could/should have done something about it

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74 Self World

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76 ASAP-NJ The Association of Student Assistance Professionals of New Jersey Andrew Yeager Student Assistance Coordinator Certified School Psychologist Park Ridge School District