Saying No to Negativity

Transcription

1 Saying No to Negativity Presented by: Robin Paggi, MA, SPHR-CA, CPLP, CPC

2 Born to be negative We are all negative sometimes The brain reacts more strongly to stimuli it finds negative our attitudes are influenced more by gloomy news than good news Source: John Cacioppo, Ph. D., et. al., Ohio State University, Negative Information Weighs More Heavily on the Brain: The Negativity Bias in Evaluative Categorizations, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1998.

3 Born to be negative Our capacity to weigh negative input so heavily most likely evolved for a good reason to keep us out of harm s way. From the dawn of human history, our very survival depended on our skill to dodge danger. The brain developed systems that would make it unavoidable for us not to notice danger and thus, hopefully, respond to it. Source: Hara Marano, Our Brain s Negative Bias Psychology Today, 2003.

4 Negativity becomes a problem when it becomes a lifestyle

5 Why so negative? Genetic: people experience emotional aspects of the world partly through genecolored glasses biological variations at the genetic level can play a significant role in individual differences in perception University Department of Genes for emotion- are linked to Psychological Science, Source: Prof. Rebecca Todd of British Colombia Psychology enhanced remembering enhanced perceiving 2013.

6 Why so negative? Unmet childhood needs:

7 Need Deprivation in Action I accept a supervisory position and my own unmet need for esteem causes me to be critical, demanding, and insensitive toward those with whom I work. Source: Fran Ferder, clinical psychologist and author of Words Made Flesh, 1986.

8 Why so negative? Upbringing: Parents who express negative emotions toward their infants, or handle them roughly, may be inadvertently harming their babies' psyches. This type of "negative parenting" results in aggressive, defiant kindergarteners and even affects adult behavior. Source: Michael F. Lorber, research scientist at New York University, Parenting and Infant Difficulty: Testing a Mutual Exacerbation Hypothesis to Predict Early Onset Conduct Problems, Child Development, 2011.

9 Why so negative? Grumpy Cat s facial expression is caused by feline dwarfism. Medical reasons: Different types of anxiety can lead to different types of negative thinking. Source: Life events: Traumatic life events are the biggest cause of anxiety and depression. Source: Kinderman et. al. A UK validation of a general measure of subjective well-being: the modified BBC subjective well-being scale (BBC-SWB). Health and Quality of Life Outcomes, 2014.

10 Why so negative? Friends: The more friends you have that are content with their lives, the more likely you are to become content. And the more friends you have that are discontent, the more likely you are to become discontent Sadness is twice as infectious as happiness. Source: David Rand, Ph. D., et. al. Emotions as infectious diseases in a large social network: the SISa model, Royal Society Publishing, 2010.

11 Why so negative? Work environment: - Excessive workload - Concerns about management s ability to lead - Anxiety about job, income, and retirement security - Lack of challenge at work - Insufficient recognition Source: Towers Perrin and Gang & Gang, "Working Today: Exploring Employee's Emotional Connection To Their Jobs, 2002.

12 Why is negativity bad for individuals? It makes things worse than they are. It becomes a habit. You get what you focus on. It leads to one-down-man-ship. It makes people despondent. It kills innovation. It promotes bad relationships.

13 Why is negativity bad for organizations? Negative people (those who disparage others, are disagreeable, gloomy, pessimistic, hostile, or just downright unpleasant) cost employers about $3 billion annually, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. If you ve ever worked with such people, you know why the cost is so high: persistent negativity drains the energy out of everyone, causing a decrease in motivation, creativity, productivity, and happiness.

14 Why is positivity good for individuals? Positive people: Live longer Are healthier Have more friends and better social lives Enjoy life more Are more successful at work Source: Psychologist Martin Seligman, founder of positive psychology

15 Why is positivity good for organizations? Happier employees are more productive, more innovative, and create a more attractive working environment. Source: Alexa Thompson, 5 Quick Ways You Can Bring Positive Psychology To Your Workplace,

16 Signs that you might be too negative You frequently complain about things. Your mind is usually tuned to noticing the flaws in things (people, activities, ideas, art, etc.). Even small flaws in something will ruin it for you. If someone suggests something you re really quick to point out why it won t work.

17 Signs that you might be too negative If you see a flaw in something, you just have to speak up about it. You feel a little rush, like you re winning points, when you do this. Sometimes you feel gleeful when you re being negative with someone else and tearing someone or something down.

18 Signs that you might be too negative Certain aspects of the world get under your skin, and you have to rant about them to anyone who will listen. If something is going well, you ve got a dozen reasons why it actually is bad and won t work out. You think positive people are naïve, have low standards, and are impressed too easily. Source:

19 How to stop negative thinking in 7 simple steps Stop thinking in extremes (rather than just feeling a little nervous about a speech, do you think I m going to die out there; they re all going to hate me! ) Stop over-generalizing the negative (if someone turns down your business proposal, do you think I m a failure and nothing good ever happens to me?) Don t minimize the positive (when something good happens, do you say oh, sure, that worked out, but things usually don t?)

20 How to stop negative thinking in 7 simple steps Stop mindreading (when someone compliments you, do you think he only said that to make me feel better, he doesn t really mean it?) Stop taking all the responsibility (when something bad happens to your team, do you think it s all my fault?) Stop forcing your own rules on life (do you have rigid rules as to how things should be or people should behave?)

21 How to stop negative thinking in 7 simple steps Stop making stuff up and believing it (do you create negative reasons for why things happened or imagine negative outcomes for most things?) Source:

22 Think positively Positive words and thoughts propel the motivational centers of the brain into action. Source: Wright, R. The Moral Animal: Why We Are the Way We Are: The New Science of Evolutionary Psychology. Vintage, If you want to develop lifelong satisfaction, you should regularly engage in positive thinking about yourself, share your happiest events with others, and savor every positive experience in your life. Source: Lyubomirsky, S. et al. Pursuing Happiness in Everyday Life: The Characteristics and Behaviors of Online Happiness Seekers, Emotion, 2012.

23 Think positively To overcome our neural bias for negativity, we must repetitiously and consciously generate as many positive thoughts as we can. Which means, generate 5 positive thoughts for each negative thought, or 5 positive messages for each negative message. Source: Barbara Fredrickson, co-founder of positive psychology

24 How to create a positive work environment Lead by example. The moral and ethical character of the leadership will directly influence all employees. Increase the ability for input at all levels. Allow employees to express concerns, make suggestions, develop ideas, and have ownership in the policies and procedures. Provide responses to employee concerns in

25 How to create a positive work environment Treat people with fairness and consistency. Equality is important for employees. This transparency shows all employees that the organization is doing the right thing. Do not use the shotgun effect to address issues. Do not punish the whole organization for one mistake of one or a small group of employees. Explain your actions, decisions, and new policies to all. This makes everyone feel included and important.

26 How to create a positive work environment Give everyone access to training that will facilitate succession management and the ability to gain promotions. Educational opportunities can be a powerful tool to increase morale. Engage employees to be a part of the strategic planning process and have input into the mission, vision, values, and goals of the organization. This can be an education in itself.

27 How to create a positive work environment Address the issue by meeting privately with the employee and doing the following: - Tell the employee about the negative behavior you have observed or heard about. - Explore what might be causing the negativity. If it s because of legitimate work-related issues, the conversation goes in a different direction. If the response is something like this is just the way I am then proceed to the next step.

28 How to create a positive work environment - Explain the impact of the negative behavior on others and the need for change. - Create and agree on some strategies for change. - Follow up with the employee and provide feedback.

29 All of that would sound something like this: Robin, I want to talk to you about something that is concerning me. I don t know if you are aware of this, but you frequently make disparaging remarks about your co-workers. For example, in our staff meeting yesterday, you told Steve that his degree would mean something if he had gone to a real college, you told Don that the 1980s called and they want his suit back, and you mimicked the way Sally talks by saying the word like at the beginning of every sentence. And, that was just in one meeting!

30 All of that would sound something like this: Are you upset with your co-workers about something? No? Then, you need to know that those kinds of remarks are causing your coworkers to not want to work with you, and I need everyone to work together. I m not saying you need to change your personality; I am saying you need to refrain from making fun of your co-workers. Let s meet next Friday to see how your week went.

31 Say yes to positivity The words we use create the world we live in. Address negativity (your own and others ) to help ensure that your working world is a positive one.

32 Robin Paggi, MA, SPHR-CA, CPLP, CPC