Situational Ethics: Revisiting Boundaries

Transcription

1 Even the most experienced and skilled among us may find ourselves emotionally exhausted at the end of the day. In this interactive session, we ll re-examine our boundaries and methods of dealing with compassion fatigue. Learn to balance empathy, caring and nurturing within professional boundaries. Go beyond theories to examine the practical applications of stress reduction techniques. This course blends the practices of Mindful Presence and Self-care as foundations for ethical practice. This course meets the NCBTMB requirements of 3 hours of Ethics. Outcomes and Objectives: At the end of this course, a successful student should be able to: 1. Describe the qualities of healthy boundaries in a nurturing practitioner 2. List methods of establishing and maintaining boundaries 3. Develop a method of correcting boundary issues with clients 4. Analyze personal methods of dealing with caregiver fatigue 5. Create a healthy workspace 6. List four self-care tools to maintain boundaries 7. Use the art of presence as a guide for maintaining boundaries From Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground If we don t know where we end and the other begins, we will have a difficult time establishing healthy connections. Those of us with weakly formed boundaries will be easily manipulated and influenced, often confusing our partner s feelings for our own. Those of us with firm boundaries will have a hard time opening our hearts to love. Our walls are simply too firm to penetrate. People with healthy boundaries tend to live somewhere in between. They have the capacity for vulnerability and self-protection at all times. When they do move toward one polarity, they do so with intentionality. In all cases, their sense of self remains intact. Presented by: Kathleen M. Paholsky, LMT, NCTMB Optimum Health Center LLC PMB # E Long Lake Troy, MI ohckathy@gmail.com NCBTMB Approved Provider # Expires 06/29/2015 Reprinted with permission from the author, Jeff Brown Page 1 of 8

2 Self-Disclosure and its role in Boundaries. The role of self-disclosure in both maintaining boundaries and being professional cannot be underestimated. What do you share with the client? When does it become about you? Identifying and Classifying Boundaries Definition Boundaries are learned borders, edges and limits which help us maintain identity, self-esteem, and physical and emotional health. Expand that definition: Identify boundaries in nature. How do boundaries help? How do they limit or restrict? Single word boundaries: yes no maybe depends Consequences when boundaries are crossed or pushed. Personal, interpersonal and professional boundaries energetic psychological intellectual sexual material spiritual mental physical Descriptions of boundaries soft, mushy hazy, blurred well defined Internal vs external (outside/inside) boundaries Chosen vs imposed rigid, inflexible Page 2 of 8

3 Boundary Issues with Clients We create much of our own drama when we don t maintain boundaries Keep emotions in check; it s not the emotion that s the problem, it s what we do with it Difficulties maintaining boundaries with clients their behaviors your issues What s happening? buttons being pushed getting sucked into someone else s drama get entangled in your own drama emotional charges self-defeating behavior Changing your thoughts and behaviors Willingness to change Consider: Sensory and neurological considerations: fragrances, pheromones, mirror neurons Page 3 of 8

4 Caregiver Continuum Difference between showing compassion and being codependent; shows in actions, feelings, intention Determine how to stay compassionate without moving towards codependency Compassion vs. Co-dependency Both actions may look the same attend to the needs of another can involve personal sacrifice include a desire to help may include strong feelings: sympathy, kindness, desire to relieve suffering, result in a high after doing good deed Compassion empathy vs. sympathy our role is supportive promotes health and wellness benefits the relationship: trust, appreciation, open communication balances kindness with ability to say no take responsibility for own self-care feels good Codependency form of addiction a need to be needed and accepted martyr/victim discards own needs loss of choice (feels that way) can feel resentful and frustrated, overwhelming feeling of guilt exaggerated sense of responsibility fear of abandonment feels as if something bad will happen if they don t enable behavior feel good high Page 4 of 8

5 Time Out: Stop, Look, Listen, Feel Check motivation: why are you helping this person - to affect your identity? - not strong enough to help your own life - distraction from your own problems Test: how do you feel? drained, criticized, taken advantage of? upbeat, energized, at peace Can you listen without fixing? o If suggestions are requested, can you offer them in relation to the body without expecting them to be followed o are you upset or disappointed when the client is non-compliant and yet still wants you to help them Difficulty may come from therapist OR client; don t assign blame. Dealing with Caregiver Fatigue Burnout, neglected self-care, compassion fatigue, loss of perspective They include: anxious apathy, sadness bottled up emotions chronic absenteeism complaints either receiving or voicing more than usual compulsive behaviors depressed difficulty concentrating distracted energy spread around excessive blaming focused on something else grumpy in denial about problems When can this happen? Who is affected? Where do you get help? isolation from others lack of concentration mentally and physically tired multi-tasking personal relationship problems increase or are ignored poor self-care scattered skipping free time (days/nights off, vacations, holidays, etc.) sleepy substance abuse walk away Page 5 of 8

6 Creating a Healthy Workspace Honor your work. Don t exaggerate or diminish who you are or what you do. Where you work physical space imposed boundaries (rules, regulations) emotional and mental space How you work techniques approaches timing/scheduling attitude What do you like/dislike? Which of your personal boundaries are impacted or affected? Begin your creation with this statement: This Place Is Important Begin with a well-defined work area Use sensory clues and routine to signal this space and time is important, this space is work Include cleaning and sanitizing for Body, Mind, Spirit and supplies Test it out 3 times, then make one change at a time. Check in regularly: Where does it feel off fuzzy stuck What are/aren t you doing to prepare? What else? Use Self-Care Tools to help. Page 6 of 8

7 Self-care Tools Grounding, centering, restoring energy Ways of getting unstuck Sleep, nutrition and play Move, dance Pay attention to Natural cycles; prepare and adapt Be kind to yourself Decrease stress educate yourself Accept where you are before you attempt to change Take positive actions Use positive words Help is a 4 letter word. The best kind Implementing beneficial practices The Art of Presence Be Here Now Difference between being on Auto Pilot and Being in the Zone Self-awareness activities Plan of Action Start go change review adapt move help give share modify What s working for me What needs a little attention What needs a lot of attention Writing your story, newest edition What change is needed to re-establish healthy boundaries? Page 7 of 8

8 From Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground The faster we run, the more determined is the Universe to slow us down. The more embedded our methods of self-distraction, the more agitating the truth-aches calling us back to authenticity. The more eagerly we race to the sky, the more intense the lessons that bring us back to earth. The universe has no interest in our flight from reality. It wants us right here. Nowhere else but here. Reprinted with permission from the author, Jeff Brown. Brown, Jeff. Ascending with Both Feet on the Ground. 2012, Pipik Press, Acton, Ontario, Canada. Page 8 of 8