Vulnerability as a Necessity. The Key to Treating Sexual Trauma Survivors

Transcription

1 Vulnerability as a Necessity The Key to Treating Sexual Trauma Survivors

2 Learning Objectives Describe the concepts related to vulnerability and cultivating its practice Determine what boundary appropriate practices of vulnerability look like with clients and take away techniques that facilitate empowerment-based healing Understand the implications of shame-based and whole-hearted practices in the agency setting

3 What is Vulnerability? Dictionary Vul-ner-a-ble [vuhl-ner-uh-buh l] Adjective 1. Capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt. As by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body. 2. Open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; he is vulnerable to bribery. 3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge Wikipedia The inability to withstand the effects of a hostile environment. A window of vulnerability is a time frame within which defensive measures are reduced, compromised or lacking.

4 What is Vulnerability? Vulnerability is understanding the necessity of both victory and defeat. It is engaging both of these. It is being all in. Brene Brown Daring Greatly

5 Love and Belonging Innate Needs & Belonging vs. Fitting In

6 Shame Shame as a weapon Social messages that normalize shame Shame resilience Dogs have boundless enthusiasm but no sense of shame. I should have a dog as a life coach. -Moby

7 Courage Leaning into vulnerability & Normalizing discomfort

8 Vulnerability and Personality Theory Maslow s Self-Actualization Position

9 Vulnerability and Personality Theory Roger s Person-Centered Approach

10 Cultivating Vulnerability The 10 Guideposts The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown

11 The 10 Guideposts 1. Authenticity 2. Self-Compassion 3. Resilient Sprit 4. Gratitude and Joy 5. Intuition and Trust

12 The 10 Guideposts 6. Creativity 7. Play and Rest 8. Calm and Stillness 9. Meaningful Work 10. Laughter, Song, and Dance

13 Practicing Vulnerability with our Clients How to be vulnerable and present while maintaining healthy boundaries

14 The Impact of Sexual Violence Trust Parents Environment Strangers Self Intuition

15 The Impact of Sexual Violence Hypervigilance Fight, flight, or freeze Startle response Prevention Calm and Stillness

16 The Impact of Sexual Violence Stress Responses Hormones Sleep Memories Trigger/flashback response Rest

17 The Impact of Sexual Violence Outbursts of Emotion Emotional buildup Support System Response Shame Self Compassion

18 The Impact of Sexual Violence Detachment Safety through isolation The crazy label Educating our support Authenticity

19 Where in the Borderland are we? Borderline Personality traits vs. disorder Frequency with sexual trauma DBT and skills training Boundaries

20 Leaning into Vulnerability in a Dangerous World Trusting others Trusting ourselves Risking being hurt again

21 Being Cool and in Control Betrays our Clients Expecting from others what we aren t willing to give Healthy modeling Rapport development Each betrayal begins with trust. -Phish Unconsciously shaming our clients

22 Self Disclosure What we ve been told How do we know when it is appropriate? Expressing emotions Accountability How self disclosure models healthy vulnerability

23 Compassion Between Equals When it is difficult to find compassion for our clients

24 Gratitude Expressing gratitude to our clients Victim, Survivor, Thriver model People pleasers Active practice of gratitude You recognize a survivor when you see one. You recognize a fighter when you see one. -Elizabeth Edwards

25 Activities, Methods, and Techniques

26 Expressive Therapies Art Therapy Drama Therapy Music Therapy Play Therapy

27 Dance It Out The body and mind are interrelated Getting back into the body Dancing in groups

28 Anger Primary healing emotion Energy that moves What happens when we don t move it? Methods of expression When angry, count to four. When very angry, swear. -Mark Twain

29 Laughter Laughter really is the best medicine Therapeutic benefits of laughter Why laughter is imperative for sexual violence survivors Laughter groups

30 In The Agency Setting How our personal practice of vulnerability affects ourselves, our work, and the agency culture

31 Compassion Fatigue Compassion Fatigue vs. Secondary Trauma Indicators of burn out Numbing Types Why this hurts us By compassion, we make others misery our own, and so, by relieving them, we relieve ourselves also. -Thomas Browne Sr.

32 New Diagnostic Criteria for PTSD experiences first-hand or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event. Diagnosis is not the end, but the beginning of practice. -Martin H. Fischer

33 Organizational Burnout High absenteeism Constant changes in co-worker relationships Inability for the team to work effectively together Desire among staff to break rules Inability of staff to respect and meet deadlines Negativism towards management Strong reluctance towards change Inability to believe improvement is possible Lack of vision for the future

34 Restorative Practices Secondary Trauma and its impact Awareness of our inner self Vacation for the nervous system Ways to restore

35 Scarcity and Competition in Agencies Numbers clients and funding Grant funding and outcome measures stealing clients How fear shows up with the clients we serve Need for certainty Embracing the doubt

36 Indicators of Shame-Based Management Voices of the team are shut down Constructive criticism is not supported Burnout and turnover are high Mental health issues among staff increase during employment period Mistakes are not allowed Fear is active and present Low level of respect for management Bullying What do you regard as most humane? To spare someone shame. -Friedrich Nietzsche

37 Indicators of an Agency that Works from the Heart Open dialogue is encouraged Feelings are allowed and their expression is encouraged Team building activities are conducted regularly Employees are praised when they excel or reach a milestone Struggles are validated Panel interviews Management acknowledges their mistakes Staff express their gratitude to each other openly

38 Questions to Ask Yourself as a Leader How do I affect those around me? What are my goals for improvement? How often do I listen to my staff? What were my own experiences with a shaming leader and how do I lead differently? Are my employees afraid of me? Do I hire people who have valuable things to contribute, or people I believe I can control?

39 Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity. -Brene Brown from Daring Greatly

40 Thank You Holly Smith, MS, LMHC Victim Service Center of Central Florida, Inc