Marriage Preparation God s Plan and Purpose for Sexuality in Marriage (Revised, 11/06)

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1 Marriage Preparation God s Plan and Purpose for Sexuality in Marriage (Revised, 11/06) It is important to recall from the first half of our preparation what was emphasized about how God creates: God creates us good, and gives us an abundance of good gifts. One of those great gifts is the powerful and beautiful gift of human sexuality. We must remember that God just doesn t create haphazardly or blindly. Everything God does has a purpose. Therefore, for every gift He gives, He has a plan, a divine design, intention or purpose. It is certainly the case in human sexuality. The Church teaches God s intention for human sexuality is two-fold. This can be characterized as Love and Life, or Unity and Procreation. First, let s examine some misconceptions about Church teaching concerning human sexuality. We take time with this because of widespread misunderstanding and sometimes deliberate misrepresentation on the part of some of the Church and her teaching. The Church does not teach that sexuality is bad, dirty or unworthy. It is just the opposite. She teaches that human sexuality is sacred, and therefore deserving of the highest honor, respect and protection. The Church does not teach that a married couple must have as many children as they are physically capable of having in life, or that they must continue to bring children into the world regardless of the circumstances of the family (poverty, etc.) She also does not teach that a married couple must have as their primary intention the conception of a child every time they have intercourse. Because of the sacredness of sex, and God s obvious intention that sex be engaged in only in marriage, the Church reminds all people that God s intention is manifested by His revelation in Sacred Scripture and through the teaching of the Church from time immemorial, that marriage and marriage alone is the only circumstance worthy of the celebration of sexual love. This plan is also accessible to all, even those of no religious faith, by human reason and understanding (natural law). Teaching on the dignity and rights of the human person, the horrendous consequences of sexual sin as seen in social and familial breakdown and dysfunction as well as eternal condemnation for those who engage in illicit sex and do not repent, all show the seriousness of abusing this great gift. Sex and the human person are always abused when people engage in such activity apart from God s plan. The moral strictures concerning sex are not a sign of imprudent scrupulousness. Rather, they are a indication of the sacredness of the matter of sexuality. It stands to reason, what is of great value is protected and watched over with great care. What is of little worth, is little cared for, regulated or protected. Think of the gold deposit of the United States. It is housed in a specially constructed depository at a military base, Fort Knox, Kentucky. Most of the structure is underground. It is protected by guards and security systems. It is virtually impregnable. Only specially authorized people can get to it. Why so much protection? Gold is a treasure. Peppermint candies, on the other hand are of little value, cheaply valued and freely given away. On your way out of a restaurant, they are there for the taking. How do we regard our sexuality? Do we treat ourselves as the treasure we are? Or is our sexuality up for grabs like the candies at the cash register, there for the taking? Here, help yourself! Just take what you want!? Sex is so powerful and all encompassing of the person, that misuse of it brings profoundly damaging effects. Sometimes these are painful and obvious. Sometimes there is the dulling effect on those who engage in it, and find their sense of self and self worth degraded. We, as Christians and other people

2 of faith in God, also must be profoundly aware of the witness we give. We all have brothers and sisters, family, friends and neighbors. When we live in a way contrary to God s law, and expect acceptance of that way, we give scandal, that is, we lead others into sin by giving the idea that sin is OK. If the sin we lead others to accept is itself mortal, our scandal is mortal sin. Others as well as we can lose our souls over such things. Is anything or anyone worth that? What does the Church teach about sexuality? She teaches that it is a gift from God which is noble, good and sacred. It is identified with the self of the person. That is why sexual sharing between the spouses in marriage is the seal of the Sacrament of Matrimony, not just the vows themselves. The gift of one s sexuality in a consecrated celibate life would be trivial if it were not so precious a gift. Instead, the man or woman who is wholly consecrated to God, offers all of himself or herself, holding nothing back, not even the dedication of his/her sexuality. Therefore, we see that celibate life is not primarily a denial of a natural gift, rather, it is a sign of great love offered to God. The relationship with God is spousal. As the married person loves God in the unreserved and total gift of self in all aspects of life, including the sexual, the consecrated person does the same, offering to God what is most identified with the self. The Church teaches that God gives the gift of sexual love and pleasure to the couple as part of their marriage. They do not need a reason to express their love in sexual union. The fact that they love one another is reason enough. The unreserved gift of self in sexual love is both a manifestation of their love, and a means of deepening that love and devotion. The bond of pleasure and tenderness is a gift. The husband gives himself to his wife, and, as she literally accepts him to herself, she gives herself in that act of receiving and acceptance. This is the heart and meaning of the act and symbol of married sexual love. Pleasure given and received is not only not wrong in this context, it is holy. Remember what was said about the act of loving union in sexual intercourse in marriage: When the couple engages in it in a way conforming to God s plan, it is truly an important part of the continuous ministering by the spouses of the Sacrament of Matrimony to one another. It is a channel of grace for them. They are sanctified through this gift. Spouses may not use one another solely for pleasure. That would be selfish and a betrayal of true love and unselfish giving. Using the spouse selfishly is sinful, and contradicts the good of marriage. The good of the couple in fostering unity and devotion is part of God s plan for the Love/Unity of the couple in this expression. The Church also teaches that every act of intercourse, to be holy and in accordance with God s plan, must be open to the transmission of life. It is pretty obvious from the most casual observance, that our bodies were made to make babies. God designed us that way. We must understand the great dignity involved in human procreation. It is more than simple reproduction. Other living things reproduce. But only human beings procreate. That is, men and women alone are permitted by God to cooperate in His creation of another human being, made in God s image and likeness, with an immortal soul, and destined for eternal life in Heaven with God Himself. Even the angels do not 2

3 make baby angels. God has granted this honor only to humanity. Every child is a gift of God, planned by God, wanted by God. Each child is a blessing no matter what the circumstances of conception and birth, and we know that sadly there are some horrendous circumstances in which children are conceived and born. But each child, no matter what, has intrinsic value as a child of God that only God has given, and which no human being can take away. A child is a burden but a holy burden and a joy, enriching the family, the parents and the world. Unfortunately, our society treats children as an obstacle to happiness and fulfillment. This is true no matter what rhetoric we hear about children. We treat them as an inconvenience, something to protect ourselves against as if they were diseases, and something to be disposed of if they conflict with our plans or require too much sacrifice. We have made the child wanted and measure its worth in reference to our needs and desires, rather than looking to his/her intrinsic worth. Birth control and abortion are signs of the colossal failure of human beings and our societies to live noble lives in love. How should a Christian couple, or any well intentioned couple of any faith in the one God, approach the question of openness to the transmission of new life in their marriage? Most of us probably think well of ourselves, and can see that we are a gift of God to parents, friends and spouse. A nice way to look at this question is to approach God with an attitude that says, Please bless us with the same gift you blessed our parents with when you gave us to them. A couple should regard their fertility as a gift to be managed responsibly, not a problem to be solved or suppressed. Our society most often makes fertility a problem, and more often than not, the woman s problem to solve. The first book of the Bible, Genesis, shows us how deliberately and with what great care God creates. In giving us the gift of marriage by which the couple builds the community of love, with His grace, He also gives them a command God blessed them saying: Be fertile and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it. Have dominion over...all living things that move on the earth. (Gn 1:28). Moses refers to the fertility of the Israelite people as one of the blessings God gives along with others. (Dt 28:4). Psalm 127:3-5 proclaims, Behold, sons are a gift from the Lord; the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the sons of one s youth. Happy the man whose quiver is filled with them;... The Bible has many other references to the blessing of children, the sacredness of life, and the riches of a big family, etc. All of these are to be understood together, reinforcing and fully manifesting one of the aspects of God s loving plan for sexuality in marriage. We have looked briefly on the Love-Unity/Life-Procreation aspect of God s plan for sexuality in marriage. Despite the fact that we live in a society which prides itself on being informed and sophisticated, it is astounding that so many people and married couples know so little about their own bodies, or at least what they put in to them. It is worth spending a little on time on a few basics. Many women understand the basic functioning of their bodies, their reproductive system, but few 3

4 men understand a woman s body. In the first place, men are simpler in the physiology of sex. (It may well be argued that men are more complicated when it comes to the psychology of sexuality, but that s not at issue here.) In men, everything is outside the body. It just hangs there. Men can make a baby any second if the environment of the woman s body is prepared. The healthy man will make millions of sperm continually. Hundreds of millions of sperm are present at every ejaculation, at least the initial one in a series. The woman s body is not like that. The woman is like a symphony. She contains the ebbs and flows of life within her. Her system is more delicate and sensitive to need of the right and healthy conditions. The woman does not make eggs throughout her mature years like a man makes sperm. A woman is born with all the eggs she will ever have. At the first ovulation and menstruation, menarche, the woman s body begins maturing and releasing a ripe egg into her system every cycle thereafter. Normally, a woman is born with two ovaries, one on each side of the abdomen. When she begins her ovulation, they normally alternate releasing a ripe egg, or ovum. The right, then the left, and so forth. When the one ovary releases a ripe egg, a hormonal message is sent to the other ovary which is also preparing an egg for release. It says, Wait until next cycle, there s already one in the system! Sometimes that message doesn t get to the other ovary in time, and each ovary releases a ripe egg. That s one of the ways we get twins. A woman needs to have her system functioning normally and naturally for her health and well-being. A married couple may, for serious reason and before God in prayer, make a moral decision to limit the size of their family by avoiding conception for a time, or even indefinitely. Examples of serious reasons are: One of the spouses becomes seriously or chronically ill, unemployment, the family has grown to the size that it becomes very difficult to adequately provide for them. (Note: The quality of life issue is often overrated in our society. That is, we often think that we need far more than we do. For instance, it wouldn t be reasonable to say something like, We can t have children, or we can t afford more than number of children because a college education will cost $300,000 by the time little Arlo is ready for Harvard. Often, what we think we need or can do is determined by the standards of society, rather than what is true and responsible provision for our family and prudent care for the future All of which are perfectly legitimate and responsible considerations.) The question comes, then, if a couple is to be generous before God in openness to new life, but for important reasons in prayer before God, a couple can make a moral decision to limit the size of a family by avoiding conceiving a child, how is that to be done? We will begin by examining ways of approaching the regulation of conception which are often advanced or prescribed by teachers, medical professionals, media and sometimes, sadly, even family. All of the methods which we will examine now (until we come to the discussion on NFP) violate the plan of God for sexuality in marriage, and are mortal sins. First, abortion. Direct abortion is the taking of a innocent human life in the womb. It is always sinful 4

5 and never permitted. Anyone who participates in direct abortion is excommunicated from the Church if the person is 16 years of age, the abortion is complete, and the person knows that the Church attaches a penalty to the sin. This does not just apply to the woman herself, who is often confused, and sometimes feels coerced. This would include the doctors/nurses who take part, anyone including parents, siblings, boyfriend, husband or friends who convince, enable, or assist anyone to have the abortion. We can have no part in the abortion, even just driving the person to and from the abortuary. If we take part in any way, we become accomplices. In almost all dioceses, the penalty of excommunication can be lifted by the priest in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Chemical abortion by use of the combination of pills referred to as RU-486, as well as the morning after pill (sometimes referred to as emergency contraception ) are direct abortion. In the case of RU-486 (more recently referred to camouflaged under its technical name Mifepristone ), the condition of pregnancy is certain. The emergency contraception approach using the morning after pill is employed when the woman fears that she may become pregnant, and it creates the chemical environment in her body that will cause abortion in case she does. (As may happen after an incident of unprotected sex. ) Excommunication does not apply in the case of the morning after pill because it cannot be certain that a pregnancy existed. But it is still a mortal sin. Second, the intrauterine device (IUD). The IUD is a copper or plastic device that is made in the form of a T. It has a string attached to enable the woman to check its presence and position. There are two types. One is a copper component, which agitates the lining of the womb through inflammation. Another form has a hormone, a progestin, on it. According to the information from the manufacturers (available on the Internet), it will stop sperm from moving to the egg by thickening cervical mucus. But the same information also says it prevents implantation if conception does take place. The IUD does not certainly prevent conception. Logically, then, it has abortifacient (abortion causing) attributes. As a foreign object in the wall of the uterus, it agitates the lining so that any child who is newly conceived trying to find a place to implant in the lining of uterine wall, will almost always be unable to implant itself and continue a normal gestation. The IUD always does this. The lining is sloughed off, and the woman aborts her child, if she has conceived. The IUD is extremely dangerous. Many women have been permanently injured during the insertion or removal of the IUD. As a foreign object inside the woman, it is a location for infection which can cause permanent damage. There have been a significant number of deaths of women involved with the use of the IUD. Despite this, it is still available within the US with extensive waivers of legal rights to sue in case of harmful effects, and we export it widely through the world to places where we don t really care what happens to the poor women they re foisted on, places like Africa and South America. Third, sterilization. It s pretty easy to see how this is a violation of the gift of our bodies and our life giving faculty of the body. We are speaking here of vasectomy for the man, or a tubal ligation (having one s tubes tied ) for a woman. These operations directly destroy the ability of the reproductive organs to function in a way so as to make conception possible. They are mutilations, defined as the cutting of a healthy body. In is important to know that there is never a sin to operate on or medicate a diseased body or organ, even when it is known that to do so would bring about a 5

6 foreseen but not desired effect of such a direct attack upon the body or even new life. It would be necessary that a serious condition exists, and that normal treatments for the condition are used, and that the bad result is foreseen but not desired or intentionally brought about. For example, an ectopic pregnancy (pregnancy established outside the womb, say, in the Fallopian tube or in the abdominal cavity) is fatal to the woman and has no possibility of bringing a live child to birth. The organs are pathologically involved, and there is no other treatment except to remove the pathologically affected organ, even though it is foreseen and certain that the child will die. There is no sin in such a case. But it should be noted that every attempt should be made to baptize the child, even aborted fetuses. Other examples would be cancer of the ovaries, uterus or testicles. Fourth, barrier methods. The most commonly known of these is the condom. It is important to note that the condom is a very unreliable method for preventing pregnancy. Depending on what study one reads, there is a high failure rate. They can tear, slip off, break, and some have tiny holes in them. Another item in this category is the diaphragm or cervical cap. Again, because women s physiology, like the man s, is different from woman to woman (size), these things have to be fitted. They can slip or come loose. The use of spermicidal jellies (creams and jellies which are formulated to kill sperm) is often recommended for use with these. They can injure sperm without killing, and may cause birth defects in children who are conceived if a damaged sperm does fertilize an egg. Besides, this is unnatural and feels yucky to the woman. These barrier methods may seem reasonable at first look, but we have to think deeper. First of all, like other methods of artificial birth control, they treat the gift of fertility as if it were a problem. Second, just think for a moment about the word barrier which aptly describes how it works. It is a barrier between the spouses. No matter how much pleasure might be given or received, there is always the reality, often unconsciously agitating the mind, that there is some thing between me and my wife, some thing between me and my husband. It seems like a good short term solution to the problem, but it is doubly dangerous in that it very subtly opens the door to greater selfishness in the marriage. Fifth, Norplant and other artificial hormones, like the Depo-Provera shot. These are harmful to women. Norplant is not accepted by upper middle class and upper class women. Norplant is five or six little sticks about the size of a match that are surgically inserted under the skin of the woman s upper inner arm. It is only the poor who have these things foisted on them. Norplant has adverse side effects, and many women are having them removed. There have recently been class action law suits brought against their manufactures by women who have had these side effects. Norplant and Depo- Provera, are abortifacients, that is, they cause abortion if conception should occur while they are used. Sixth, the pill. It is astonishing that so many women use drugs or other substances to medicate a body that is not sick, to suppress a natural, normal and essential function of their bodies. So few understand what they do to their bodies when they use this stuff. Most are simply told that if they 6

7 don t want to get pregnant, they can take the pill. But what is it and how does it work? In the first place, the pill can be many different formulas, all concocted to do approximately the same thing. In the first place, the pill is designed to suppress ovulation. It fakes the woman s body out into thinking that she s always pregnant. Pregnant women don t ovulate. When the pill was first marketed in 1959/60, there was a very high dosage of artificial hormones in it. Many women suffered serious side effects with some deaths. Today, they have made the pill almost safe, as one pharmacist put it. The manufacturers have lowered the dosage. However, when a woman gets her prescription for the pill filled, it comes with a data sheet. The list of possible side effects is very long, and it includes interesting things like cancer, blood clots, brain hemorrhage, migraine headaches and dozens more. Many women don t tolerate the pill physically and have to stop taking it. Even those who continue have their whole body chemistry altered. When they come off it, they feel like new people, much better. The second way that the pill works is to thicken the mucous present in the woman s cervix. This makes it harder, but not impossible for sperm to swim into her body and find its way to a place where it can fertilize an egg. The third way the pill works, and most women are shocked when they learn this, is that it causes abortion. How? Even at the beginning when the pill was first marketed, there was the possibility that even if the pill was taken exactly as prescribed, there might still be what is called breakthrough ovulation. God has constructed the body to do what it is designed to do, and it tries to do it, no matter what. Sometimes it succeeds in spite of all obstacles. The ovaries rebel against suppression. Since the dosage was lowered to an almost safe level, the potential for breakthrough ovulation has risen. If the woman is on the pill, and has breakthrough ovulation, and if she has intercourse during her fertile time, she may conceive and not know it. The woman conceives in her Fallopian tube. As soon as she conceives, that new little child starts to take over Mom s body. Let s call her a girl. She sends out a message to the mother s body, and the uterus which has been building up its rich lining in anticipation of a possible resident. She says, Hi. I m here! Get ready. In a woman whose body is functioning normally and naturally, that message is received, and the uterus does not slough off the lining in menstruation, but continues to build it up. The newly conceived child takes several days to move down the Fallopian tube. One cell becomes two, two becomes four, four becomes eight, then sixteen then, thirty-two, and she breaks into the welcoming environment of the mother s womb, finds a place to implant, then begins to produce the placenta. If a woman is on the pill, that initial message sent after conception is blocked. Instead of arriving at the womb to find a rich and welcoming environment, she finds a hostile environment. She cannot implant and she is aborted in the flow from the womb. The mother has aborted her child and she doesn t even know that she has been pregnant. The sins are that the woman has violated the gift of her own body in the first place by suppressing a natural function essential to procreation, and has created a preexistent chemical environment in her body that will almost certainly result in abortion if she should have breakthrough ovulation, and conceive. The pill is medicating a healthy body which results in many damaging and harmful effects. A considerable number of scientific studies are beginning to show strong evidence for a link between use of oral contraceptives as well as abortion in the later development of cancer in women. It is critical that both men and women understand this. If a man really loves a woman, he will not ask 7

8 her, force her, or let her do anything to herself that will harm her physically, emotionally or spiritually. He must love his wife, as Christ loved the Church, laying down his life for her. He will love her unselfishly so that she can be free to be the woman God made her, as God made her. The use of such methods of birth control all strike at the essential nature of the covenant of marriage, and the sacred act of total self-giving that marital sexual love is intended by God to be. The use of such things tells the woman that her nature as God made her will not be tolerated. She must alter herself chemically or physically before she will be accepted. Intercourse engaged in in the altered state produced by such things cuts off or truncates the gift of self. It cannot be the unreserved, unconditional, unlimited gift of the whole person to the other. In cutting off the full potential of the possibility of procreation from the act of love, the marital union is profoundly affected. That is one reason that so many contracepting couples do not have peace between them, and many of their marriages end in divorce. At the root of their union is selfishness and a lack of respect for the whole person as God has made him or her. The common acceptance of artificial birth control methods also reflects the usurpation by humanity of certain prerogatives which are God s alone. The assumption is partially that we are in control of our fertility, and that we can conceive at will, our will. It is God who creates the immortal human soul for each of us at the moment of conception. That s what brings life about. If He decides not to do that, there aren t going to be any babies, no matter what a couple might want. Sometimes a couple will say that they aren t going to have children until the husband gets his PhD, or until they get their house, or degree etc. We hear statements like, We are going to start our family in five years, or four. Is that so? Who determines when and if life is to be? Do you even know you will be alive in four years? What if you get a disease or receive an injury that makes it impossible for you to have children? What if it was God s intention to bless you with all your children in the first four or five years of marriage and you said No! And then when you want children outside of His plan He says No! His No will stick. What is the answer to all this? We stated that we should be generous before God in accepting the gift of new life, but that for serious reason, a couple in prayer before God may avoid conceiving a child for a time or even indefinitely. But all those things we just talked about are sinful and violate God s plan for sexual love in marriage, and damage the union of the couple. What is there to help the couple manage their fertility in a moral way? Natural Family Planning (NFP). Again, let s start with some of the misunderstandings and misconceptions we often hear about NFP: First misconception NFP is rhythm. Wrong: NFP is not rhythm. Rhythm is a system of averaging cycles and timing intercourse around what the fertile phase of a cycle was calculated to be based on that averaging. (If the couple was seeking to avoid conceiving. Rhythm was effective if the couple was willing to refrain from intercourse for comparatively longer periods of time in the cycle, because most women don t have regular cycles. The woman is not a machine and her body doesn t always 8

9 work like a timepiece. Few women s cycles run 28 days-28 days-28 days-28 days, etc., with no irregularity. The woman s cycle can vary as a result of conditions of body and mind. She can get sick with the flu, be under stress, etc. The woman s body is delicate and can be affected by many factors. NFP works on a totally different basis from the rhythm method. Second misconception NFP is not scientific. Wrong: NFP is very scientific. The method is constantly being studied and refined. There is a whole special institute dedicated to fertility issues and women s gynecological health at the Pope Paul VI Institute in Omaha, Nebraska. The scientific method does not mean using pills. The natural way of the nature of the body is studied and understood. Third misconception It doesn t work for everybody, especially if you re irregular in your cycles. Wrong: It does work for everyone, even if a woman is regularly irregular. We ll understand why that is so in the discussion below. Besides, challenging medical and physical problems can be addressed by the medical people involved who are dedicated to this way. Help is available. Fourth misconception I knew a couple who was using NFP to avoid conceiving another child and they got pregnant three times using NFP. You can t rely on it. Wrong: Properly learned and properly used, NFP is as effective in avoiding conception as any other method of fertility management. Let s get a grip on what we are talking about. NFP is based on two facts, not hopes or dreams, but facts! The first fact is that we are human beings, not animals. Animals have no choice about sex. They are purely instinct driven. Human beings who love one another can agree and decide for a greater good to refrain from sexual intercourse for a time. This can be helpful to communication and developing an appreciation for the other person, other ways of expressing chaste affection in marriage, and increasing the joy of coming together when the woman enters the infertile phases of her cycle. The second fact is that every cycle, the woman s body gives the same identifiable, discernible signs which, when properly understood and interpreted will let the couple know when she enters the fertile phase of her cycle, and when that phase has ended. The ripe egg released at ovulation lives, that is, can be successfully fertilized only about 10 hours. That means that every cycle the woman can become pregnant only about 10 hours. Sperm, on the other hand will live hours. That is why it is important to know the parameters of the fertile phase. A healthy woman will be fertile for about (average) 400 cycles in her lifetime. If a couple is seeking to avoid conceiving, it will be necessary to refrain from intercourse from 7 to 10 days, depending on the signs of fertility. In a 28 day (average) cycle, that will leave days to engage in intercourse. Most married couples honestly do not engage in intercourse that often, especially after the first year or two. Most married couples find a comfortable frequency to celebrate their love in sexual union. Each couple finds that frequency for themselves. This is a normal and natural way for married people. If a couple is seeking to enhance the probability of conceiving, the various NFP methods can help with that very effectively. The Natural Procreative Technology (NaProTech [c]), developed by Dr. Thomas Hilgers at Pope Paul VI Institute, has remarkable success rates with helping infertile couples achieve pregnancy. And his method does this at a tiny fraction of the emotional and financial cost of fertility clinics. 9

10 What are the benefits of NFP? 1. It enhances the marriage bond. The couple must respect each other, and understand and accept each other as God has made them. Respect is essential for love. There can be no love without it. 2. NFP using couples have greater peace. 3. The couple must communicate. Communication is necessary for any healthy relationship. 4. NFP is totally safe and natural with no harmful side effects. It doesn t require either spouse to medicate a healthy body, cut anything, stick anything in or cover anything up. NFP is the only method of family planning (other than doing nothing, and being totally abandoned to God s action) that respects the woman as God has made her, and respects and builds up the role of the husband as servant leader. 5. NFP is immediately reversible. If a woman is on the pill, and she and her husband decide to have a baby, what does her doctor tell her? That she has to wait three or four months, sometimes longer. Why? Because it may take the body that long to get back to a normal functioning, if it ever does. There is no guarantee that it will. If this stuff is so harmless why the big wait? Women s bodies are delicate and deserve respect not chemical, surgical or physical violence. If a woman and her husband are practicing NFP they don t even need a doctor to seek conception. 6. NFP can be used to help maximize the chances of becoming pregnant. Infertility occurs worldwide in approximately 8-10% of married couples. In the US, almost 20% of married couples are infertile. That is, 20% of married couples in the US who are trying to conceive a child can t. Why? The jury is still out as far as a conclusive answer, but can t we put two and two together? We saw how increased sexual activity outside marriage is resulting more and more in damage to women s bodies which render them either incapable of conceiving or less likely to be able to conceive. Also, American women have been pumping this junk into their bodies for over forty years, and it s now being given to children at younger and younger ages. There are some children being given the pill at age eleven and twelve in some cities. Their bodies are still developing. This has got to have harmful effects. About 20% of the couples who take the NFP class are there to learn how to practice it in such a way as to hopefully, enable them to conceive. 7. There is a very low divorce rate among NFP practicing couples. It is about 3%, some surveys suggest that it is under 1%. Not bad when one considers the divorce rate in the US is now slightly over 50%. Is this just because the couples are using NFP? That would be stretching it, but it does have its enhancing effect as stated above. Also, you are dealing with a sample of people who are already more serious about putting effort into their lives, and are more mature, or they probably wouldn t even consider NFP. These are people who understand that real love is sacrificial, requires self-discipline and that a happy marriage requires the devotion of work for the good of the other. Such folks are better candidates for successful marriage from the start. NFP only enhances what is already there. God s plan for marriage and sexuality in marriage is deeply tied to the mystery of His love for us. The married couple, in fulfilling His plan for married sexual love is blessed greatly. The graces with which they are blessed makes possible love in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health, in 10

11 riches or poverty. When the couple is willing to dedicate their whole selves, especially the gift of their sexuality with its fertility to God, there is little doubt that they will triumph and grow in love, until death parts them. Then, they can look forward in confident hope to an eternity of love together in God s presence. Religed\Marr Prep\Purp Plan Sex in Marr Revised, 11/06 11