The Pain of PTSD and the Healing Power of Journaling Guest: Michael Cain Host: Noel Meador

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1 The Pain of PTSD and the Healing Power of Journaling Guest: Michael Cain Host: Noel Meador

2 Noel Meador: I want to welcome you to the Oxygen365 Podcast, and today we have an amazing guest that's going to be sharing with us. But before I do that, I wanted to just say that in this podcast we interview experts on all things - marriage, parenting, relationships. We even deal with sex. And today, we're going to be going off a little bit of a deeper issue that is very much a part of what we're passionate about at Stronger Families, to come along side and help the men and woman in our armed forces as they are dealing with certain critical things that have huge implications to their families. The guest today, he's been an author, a writer for the past 15 years, both fiction and nonfiction. He's coached wounded warriors at the Fort Bragg Warrior Transition Battalion for the last six years. On that, helping those warriors dealing with their different wounds, both invisible and visible, he's consolidated and put into a workbook, which is now a book, The Pain of PTSD and the Healing Power of Journaling. I think one of the most significant things about him is that his youngest son joined the Army in He's been deployed nine times and part of what we're going to be talking about today is advice that he gave his son, based on journaling. So I want to welcome Michael Cain. Thank you for being part of the podcast today. It's great to have you. Michael Cain: Thank you Noel. I'm happy to be here. Noel: Let's just start. Today, what we're going to be looking at and learning about is understanding how journaling can help in the posttraumatic stress disorder healing process. I want to just start for many of our audience, our listeners. You know, we throw out these terms like PTSD. And what does that actually mean? Maybe we just start there. Give us a running definition of what is PTSD? Michael: PTSD is a condition that is brought about by exposure to a traumatic event of some sort. In its current definition, it was related to combat trauma primarily. Up to the Vietnam War, the psychiatric community, mental health community did not acknowledge that PTSD existed. It wasn't until 1984 that they finally wrote a definition that can be used. Reality is PTSD dates back to the earliest written history, which is the Iliad where they talk about how Achilles was afflicted with what we now know as PTSD. Michael Cain 2

3 Noel: So PTSD, one of the things I'm curious to learn more about on our call today is who does it affect? What are the causes and the symptoms? How would I know that I have PTSD? Michael: The symptoms generally fall into three separate categories: emotional, behavioral, and physical. Under the category of emotional, symptoms would be things like hyper vigilance, survival guilt, and flashbacks. Behavioral symptoms might include fighting, anger management issues, and paranoia. Physical symptoms might include fatigue, an elevated heart rate, chills, and shaking. Again, there's a list of probably a hundred symptoms that are in the book. And they affect different people in different ways. Noel: So tell me, in your book, you talk about a lot of different types of treatments that are out there, from therapy options all the way to talking to a counselor. I'm really interested in your unique approach of journaling and how did that come about? Michael: Journaling came about initially for me through my own experiences. I'm of the age of most of the Vietnam vets. I didn't serve. I failed my draft physical, but very many of my friends served in Vietnam. And as they came home, I noticed changes in them that I later was able to connect to PTSD. And I spoke with them about their experiences and the effect of those experiences. I tucked that away for a number of years. When my own son went into the military, I remembered in the intervening years I learned about journaling myself and used journaling as a tool to address some of my own issues. When my son went into the military, I said, I want you to protect yourself from PTSD and the only way to do it is to prevent yourself from keeping all of those experiences locked in to the back of your brain. And there's only two ways to do that. One is to talk about it, the other is to write about it. So each time he was deployed, I gave him a journal and I said, Please write about the things that you're feeling and experiencing, and I know it's going to help in the end. It wasn't until two years after he left the military that I ever asked him if he actually did use those journals, because I wanted them to be private for him. And he actually did. And he believed very strongly that it was a big help to him. Noel: That's great. Give me a five minute course on Journaling 101. I think we all kind of have our own ideas of what journaling looks like. But I'm just Michael Cain 3

4 curious if you have a specific way you recommend? Especially when related to PTSD. Michael: When I'm working with the soldiers in Fort Bragg, one of the first things that I tell them is journaling is not just for little girls anymore. It's a very powerful tool and the list that I referred to earlier of the symptoms, I will ask them to go through that list and check off, in the book, which of the symptoms they've experienced, or that people have told them that they've expressed. And once they do that bit of an exercise, which usually takes ten or fifteen minutes, then I ask them to begin writing, not about the trauma but about the symptoms. Writing about the trauma can very often be more than a solider is prepared to handle. The symptoms, however, are the things that are interfering with their lives. So pick a symptom. I encourage them to start wherever they like. Pick a symptom. Write about it in detail and why they think that they have to, say hyper vigilance as an example, why do they feel a need to be hyper vigilant? We know where the hyper vigilance comes from. It's because they need [inaudible]. When they come home, the guys with PTSD are not able to turn that switch off. So if they write about it and then think about those things that they've written, they'll begin to recognize that they don't need that. So the goal is to get them to drop off those symptoms one at a time. And the only way they can do it is to decide for themselves that it's no longer necessary. So we try to focus on the symptoms. And the other part that I give them for their own security, for their own safety is an assurance that they don't ever have to share that writing with me or anybody else. And it's important to get it out but it's not necessarily as important. Noel: That was really good. Maybe, for our audience, our listeners, help maybe flesh out the idea of when and where. When should they be doing this? Where should they be doing it? I don't know if there's any specifics that you'd suggest. Michael: There's not a list, but there are times when I ask them to think about when they can have some private time. If they have a spouse and children, try and talk with them ahead of time and say, I'm going to go and do this. I need some private time. Please leave me alone for thirty minutes, forty minutes, however much time they can devote to it. And the place, we all have places that we feel secure. In the case of one soldier I work with, it was sitting on the floor Michael Cain 4

5 behind the couch. In some cases, it's at a desk in their home, at the library, at the Starbucks. They have to pick that place. But I try to encourage them to choose that place based on, not only a place where they can feel secure and feel private, but also a place they can one day walk away from. And then, identify that place as a place from their past and a place that was a part of their healing. Noel: That makes sense. If someone is to start this process of dealing with PTSD, what can they expect as they begin to journal? Michael: At the onset, they can probably expect a lot of pain. It's not an easy process. It's going to trigger memories that they've been trying to suppress. But as they write about these things, and again, this is one of the reasons that I counsel them to stay away from the trauma at the outset, if you're writing about an elevated level of fatigue, that's not necessarily going to put them back in that scary place. So as they write about these symptoms, it's going to take some time, but eventually, it does give them the freedom to drop some of those symptoms from that list. And I encourage them to congratulate themselves when they get to that point and move on from there. Noel: So when you talk about dropping the symptoms, do they ever actually move into the place of writing about the very specific trauma that they went through? Is that part of the journey? Or do they just keep that away from the journaling experience? Michael: That s, again, going to be different for each one of them. The way that PTSD affects your life is very different for every different person. And with the ways that it interferes is through the symptoms. The trauma was the trigger, but now, the trauma is never going to go away. You can't un-shoot a gun. And you can't reverse any of the things that happened that caused their PTSD. But that trauma, while it was the trigger, is not, today, the problem. The problem is the symptoms. So by focusing on the symptoms, they can take away the troubles. And eventually, if they feel like writing about the trauma, then they should. If they don't feel like writing about it, I tell them that, that's okay. Noel: Yeah. So would you say that this process of journaling is augmented with professional counseling? Or is it separate to? What are some of the other modalities that you would say need to be a part of this process? Michael: I always encourage them to maintain a relationship with their mental health providers. I'm not a mental health provider, I'm a writer. So I don't have Michael Cain 5

6 the background to resolve some of their issues. But this will enable them to talk more clearly with their mental health provider. And again, when I teach them how to journal, I emphasize the importance of keeping it private. One of the issues I ran into early on with soldiers at Fort Bragg is that they would meet regularly with the mental health people at Womack, the hospital on Fort Bragg. They would encourage them to journal, but they would tell them to bring the journal in at their next appointment and share it with the docs. That's a scary proposition for a lot of guys who are suffering from PTSD for a number of different reasons. I tell them that the writing is far more important than sharing or even saving. When they have to write about something that they're particularly frightened about, nervous about, I'll say, write it out in as much detail as you can and then throw it in the fireplace - burn it, shred it. It has value that you've written it. It doesn't necessarily have to be saved in order to give you benefit. Noel: You make a really good point about that proposition of having to come in and share with their counselor. I think, for the sake of our audience and especially with the experience that I've had working with wounded warriors, and whether it be invisible or visible, this realm of PTSD, there seems to be connected with a sense of that you don't lack strength. I think you would agree with me in terms of PTSD is not a sign of weakness. It's actually those who step into this place, it takes a lot of strength and they come out even more resilient as they go through that process. Michael: That's really true. And there's absolutely no correlation between strengths and suffering from PTSD. The clearest evidence of that is the fact that the PTSD doesn't surface until they leave combat. Noel: Yeah. Michael: They're tough people and some of the toughest people I've ever known were broken by PTSD. Noel: Yeah, I want to also come back to this part of when you talk about writing in the journal and it being very private, what would you say to the spouse who's connected to someone that's going through PTSD? I know that for them, a lot of times, they feel like they're outside of it and they, with good intention, they want to step in and begin to talk with them and help them walk through this process. And there's always a relational dynamic that exists there Michael Cain 6

7 that can be tough when you're the caregiver. What would you say to the caregiver or the spouse who is in this journey a long with the one that's dealing with PTSD? Michael: What I tell the caregivers is to be patient. Again, what I tell the soldier is to write as much as you have to write to find some relief. And when you're ready to share, you can either use the journal that you've written in as a guide to help you through the conversation. Or you can share it with your spouse. Or you could use it as a reference tool and make a separate list of the things you want to share. It's important for the caregiver to know that this is a very real affliction and it's a serious problem. When they have difficulty sharing, that's not a question of trust. It's a question of the soldier, the veteran, doesn't know how to deal with this level of pain. They don't teach it in basic training. They don't teach it in any of the schools in the military, how to cope with this. So they're scared and they're broken. So I tell the caregivers that it's very difficult. I understand how difficult it is. But, give them some space. Give the spouse some space to try and find a way out. As and when they do, they will share. Noel: Okay. So you begin the process of journaling. What could someone expect in terms of results? Are we talking a couple weeks, a couple months, a couple years? Michael: At the very least, a couple of months before they see some change. And I ask them to write regularly, and regularly is going to be different for each person. Not necessarily daily but at least weekly, and doing it, whenever possible, at the same time and place so it becomes a habit. It will take several months in order to see any change at all, and it could very well take years. I still hear from soldiers that I ve counseled years ago who are feeling better, but still struggling. Noel: And this might be case by case, but when you talk about the symptoms dropping off, is there somewhat of in a, once that begins to happen, an almost like domino effect, where things start to drop off very quickly? Or is it one painstakingly at a time that begins to drop off? Michael: It's going to vary depending on the symptoms and how entrenched they are. The biggest thing that happens as they start to drop off is that the writer's confidence level comes up. They see that, yeah, this really is helping. It Michael Cain 7

8 doesn't have to help overnight. As long as they can see that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and it's not an oncoming train, they're going to stay with it. Noel: Yeah. What does it look like, I guess in quotation marks, "feeling better?" I don't think there's one answer for all, but what would be the picture of feeling better as they move through this process? Michael: One of the dominant symptoms that I see amongst the vets is what they call barricading. That's when a guy won't come out of his house unless it's absolutely necessary. Won't go to social events, won't go to the grocery store. He feels safe in the house. And sooner or later, once they begin this process, they'll accept an invitation. And they'll go out to lunch. They'll go to a neighborhood party, whatever, something like that. And it might happen without their even thinking about it. But that's a huge milestone. And very often, the spouse will know first before the vet. Noel: Well, all that we've talking about has been documented in this book right here called The Pain of PTSD and the Healing Power of Journaling. And I can tell this is a wealth of information and very practical to get at the root of a very complex problem. So Michael, thank you for your work and your passion to help our veterans and those who are transitioning in a very difficult time in their lives. If you want to get a copy of this, we're going to have a link down below that you can go and pick this up. But I wanted to say, thank you, Michael. I don't know if there's any departing comments that you would like to share with our audience in relation to your book or maybe anything else? Michael: One of the things that we failed to talk about is how to get the book. I think I told you, when we talked earlier that it was available on Amazon. I haven't yet put that piece of it together. So if they want to buy the book online, it's available at roswellpublishing.wordpress.com. If you want to give my address, I'm perfectly happy to respond to s. When I'm dealing directly with a vet, there's no charge for the book and I'd be happy to respond to anybody who requests for that. Noel: That's a gracious offer. And again, all that information that he just mentioned, we're going to have it on the webpage below the video here, where you can click on and get direct contact with Michael. Michael, thanks again. I really appreciate you being on this podcast. This is a wealth of information and Michael Cain 8

9 very, very helpful to our audience and what we're dealing with on a day to day basis. So, again, thank you. Michael: Thank you Noel, my pleasure. Noel: All right, take care. Michael Cain 9

Please Understand Me, Managing ADHD within a Marriage, this is Stay Happily Married episode number 222.

Announcer: Please Understand Me, Managing ADHD within a Marriage, this is Stay Happily Married episode number 222. Welcome to Stay Happily Married, your source for weekly updates on the latest tips and