Mental Health. Emotional Anorexia

Transcription

1 Mental Health Emotional Anorexia

2 a) Over 90% have mental health issues - If addicts don t get help for these issues, their chances of remaining sober aren t good b) Some mental health issues come out of CT i. They are the patterns people developed to deal with their trauma ii. The more severe the trauma, the more extreme the coping style (pattern) iii. Variation of F,F,F c) Tonight Freeze Emotional Anorexia d) Emotional anorexia is usually seen in PTSD, BPD, NPD, OCD, phobic disorders, psychopath, and others

3 1. Emotional anorexia - Definition a) Anorexia have a hunger need, but don t meet it. Can get to a place where you no longer feel the hunger sensation b) Is the compulsive avoidance of giving or receiving emotional care or nourishment. c) Unable to feel or deal with emotions, ranging from normal emotions, all the way to crisis or major emotions d) Emotional anorexia is like living your life as though you are at the most glorious banquet with all the yummy,

4 delicious, pleasurable foods laid out on this amazing table; yet you choose to only pick the crumbs and leftovers to eat. This leaves us hungry and starved of the joy, love, pleasure and desires that we want in our world because we are afraid of the sucky feelings that could follow. e) Emotional anorexia generally starts in childhood as a defense mechanism to help a child deal with traumatic experiences, and carries on and gets worse as a person ages f) Underlying emotional anorexia is the powerful fear of abandonment

5 g) They decide at some point that it is easier to not feel than to continue to feel painful emotions. So, they shut down their emotions. They think this will protect them from ever being hurt again h) Note: This can happen subconsciously and gradually; or by a single, conscious decision i) Result - When people attempt to give them love, they can t seem to take it in. They would rather remain in a state of emotional starvation than risk abandonment their greatest fear

6 2. Other possible scenarios a) Decide to receive love i. Then they experience strong feelings of guilt ii. Results in them destroying (sabotaging) all they have received and what they love most in life iii. They need to return to the diet/fast of emotional starvation, which requires the destruction of the affections iv. Note: Also involves living out their shame messages unlovable

7 b) The flipside of fear of abandonment is fear of engulfment. That the person they are getting close to will expect too much of them, and they will have to do the abandonment themselves i. They see attachment as dangerous ii. They can t take in nourishment offered by a love relationship because their hyperalert defense system has been primed to prevent emotional penetration at all costs iii. They can t allow trust to build or vulnerability to happen

8 c) Appear to be seeking relationships, but on closer examination, they are chasing after people who are so out of reach that it eliminates the risk of a real relationship d) They try to avoid conflict by giving in to what the other person wants; they stop making demands 3. Long-term Results a) We not only don t feel painful emotions, we also miss out on feeling good emotions. We cannot just turn off bad feelings and leave the rest

9 b) When our emotional hunger is ignored, neglected, denied, shamed, it makes us even hungrier. The more we ignore our hunger pains, the stronger our cravings become, leading us to act out destructively c) It means that we are living in emotional starvation mode. Just as irritability and anger happen when our blood glucose levels go down, when we don t have enough psychological sugar our emotional blood levels also go down. Experience negative emotions - anger, worry, anxiety, bitterness

10 d) Are unable to be fully intimate or connected with your spouse and children. If you are not connected with yourself and the feelings that are inside of you, there is no way to be completely connected to another person Note: Your spouse/child will feel it. Not at first, but over the years it will become painful and difficult on your relationship e) Health problems fatigue, insomnia f) Key life to an emotional anorexic feels boring/dead. They see the solution as creating drama/chaos

11 4. Healing a) To turn emotions back on after years of being turned off can be scary. Many feel like once they open that dam, it will be hard to stop. But the results are well worth it. Being connected and feeling emotions may open you up to feel pain, but it also allows you to feel joy and be connected in relationships.

12 b) We are the ones responsible for our own breakthrough. Our hunger isn t something to be ashamed of, but is something we should nurture, care for, address and attend to c) The key to breaking free of emotional anorexia is to become consciously and compassionately awake to your feelings, thoughts and actions. Pay attention to and ask yourself what you re truly hungry for, what would really satisfy you, and no longer settle for crumbs instead of a meal