Proactive Grieving Follow Up TWINLESS TWINS CONFERENCE

Transcription

1 Proactive Grieving Follow Up TWINLESS TWINS CONFERENCE NASHVILLE 2015

2 Lets get Physical the somatic side of Grief

3 What I'm looking for is not out there, it is in me. - Helen Keller

4 Grief = Stress

5 It is our body s primal reaction to survive any given moment

6 Stress is a function of our autonomic nervous system which responds to stimuli real or imagined to protect itself from a perceived danger.

7 WHY DO WE FEEL THE WAY WE FEEL? THE PHYSIOLOGY OF GRIEF

8 WHEN WE ARE GRIEVING We are in Survival Mode

9 When We are in the Survival Mode We are in Active Flight or Flight Response and in Stress

10 STRESS IS OUR BEST FRIEND IT KEEPS US ALIVE

11 The Seven Senses That Initiate a Physical Stress Response 1. Sight 2. Hearing 3. Smelling 4. Taste 5. Touch 6. Epiphany/ Foreboding ( 6 th sense) 7. Imagination/ Dream/Visitation

12 Sensing Danger is key to our survival

13 Face the Dragon Face Your Fears

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16 We react instantly in one of four ways to apparent danger: Freeze Fall Flight Fight

17 First we Freeze or we Fall

18 Secondly -we Fight or take Flight

19 What happens beneath the surface? Chemicals ( hormones) are released such as Adrenaline and Cortisol that hyper activate the machine for maximum performance.

20 The survival response(distress)

21 Distress is Bad Stress Loss of control Bullied Injury High workload Fear Worry/Anxiety External Antagonists (weather) Emotional issues/arguments Grief

22 Danger /Fear

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24 Smile

25 Physical injury Body to the Rescue

26 Mind to the rescue Option generator List maker

27 Spirit to the rescue

28 We need to neutralize the stress hormones with serenity hormones Dopamine Oxytocin Seratonin Prolactin

29 The relaxation response stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system to release endorphins These are the bodies natural opiates for pain relief, feelings of well being and euphoria

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31 BREATHE Breathe

32 Methods to Illicit The Relaxation Response Meditation Prayer Mantra Mindfulness Yoga, Tai chi, Qigong Mono focus Music Massage

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34 Activate Eustress (Good Stress) Heroic action Rigorous exercise/workout/runner s high Mental Challenge, exams Love/Sex Creativity Emotional Elation Hard laughter Planning an event/trip Goal Achievement

35 Lets Get Spiritual Faith Divine Guidance Gut Feelings Continuing Connections

36 Continuing Connections Whispers of Love

37 THERE ARE THREE CATEGORIES OF WHISPERS: Prior to death During the dying process After the death has occurred

38 PRIOR TO DEATH Dreams Drawings/writing Premonitions Psychic information Synchronistic events Voices

39 DURING THE DYING PROCESS Seeing angels Seeing dead relatives Speaking with others whom have died Seeing a religious figure Hearing your name being called

40 AFTER THE DEATH HAS OCCURRED.Synchronistic events, voices, sounds, smells. Dreams/visitations. Psychic information and Visible signs

41 Grilled Cheese Sandwich Apophenia

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46 Michelle

47 Asking for a Sign Hole in One

48 The Near Death Experience

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50 The Miracle of the Cornstalk

51 Electronics Sean s Dad House Phone Sean s Cell Phone

52 ORBS

53 Butterflies Dragonflies Ladybugs Eagles Hawks Doves Cats Dogs

54 There is Life After Death on Both Sides of the Equation Used with permission The Grief Tool Box Inc.

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60 1979 Kelly Olivia 2014

61 Soul to the rescue Make decisions based on input from Body, Mind and Spirit. Take control, weigh options and act. Either change the toxicity of the environment or change how you react to the environment. Be Proactive, be resourceful, be creative Share, seek help, reach out Breathe with intention/mindfullness

62 Finding Moral Courage The bittersweet sense of grief holding and experiencing uncomfortable emotions, sitting with them rather then closing them off. It takes energy to close off experiences Restoring a perceived sense of safety finding balance with Body, Mind, Spirit and Soul Emotions are like exercise, you have to experience them regularly to understand them

63 When we are no longer able to change a situation -we are challenged to change ourselves -Victor Frankl

64 SPIRIT SOUL MIND BODY We Maintain our Equilibrium and We Find Balance