2017 National Conference on Special Needs Planning and Special Needs Trusts INTRO TO HOARDING 202 Matt Paxton October 18, 2017

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1 2017 National Conference on Special Needs Planning and Special Needs Trusts INTRO TO HOARDING 202 Matt Paxton October 18, 2017 Matt Paxton is a co founder of Legacy Navigator. He might look familiar because he is one of the top extreme cleaning experts in the country, as featured on the hit television show HOARDERS. Paxton started cleaning out houses after his father and grandparents passed away in the same year. His business Clutter Cleaner focused on solving difficult living situations caused by hoarding, but the experience of handling his father s and grandparents estates stuck with him and is the reason for creating Legacy Navigator. 1

2 INTRO TO HOARDING Understanding the Mess 2

3 MATT PAXTON Extreme Cleaning Specialist on the Emmynominated HOARDERS Founder of Clutter Cleaner & ServiceMaster Restore Hoarding Author of The Secret Lives of Hoarders Cleaned over 2,000 hoarded homes History 15 years of failure 3

4 WHAT TO EXPECT TODAY Goals Help gain a general understanding of people affected by hoarding Highlight some of the new hoarding insights we are working on Give helpful communication tips to use in the field Our guys go through a week of training Interaction If you have a question or comment SPEAK UP 4

5 THE HOARDER S MIND 5

6 THE HOARDER S MIND Perception is Reality Our minds see things differently It may NOT be real, but it is to them Reality: Perfect Past Fake Future There is no NOW 6

7 THE HOARDER S MIND Looking for happiness/self worth: They gain self-worth by giving and receiving things. 7

8 HOARDER S SELF WORTH MODEL Initial Consumption or Effort Follow Through = 100% Self Worth = 100% 2nd Consumption or Effort Follow Through = 75% Self Worth = 100% 3rd Consumption or Effort Follow Through = 50% Self Worth = 100% Hoarder chooses a task and sticks to it It feels good, so they want to do more Tasks go unfinished, but sense of selfworth remains They do not focus on finishing the tasks Follow through decreases 8

9 HOARDER S SELF-WORTH MODEL As time advances: Effort increase Follow through decreases 10th Consumption or Effort They eventually have to ignore reality: To stay alive they have to keep self worth at 100% If they don t, their entire NOW is a sham Follow Through = 10% Self Worth = 100% 9

10 HOARDER S MIND Their MINDS are full. Fear Anxiety Doubt Grief Excitement Pride Exhaustion 10

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12 THE HOARDER S MIND Hoarder Equation: Traumatic Trigger YEARS of analyzing or avoidance Lack of social abilities Financial stress Sleep Deprivation Current health concerns NEW stress (usually what caused them needing help) Fear of this ALL going away - the hoard is safe SOMEONE new trying to come into their lives to help COMPLETE MENTAL VIOLENCE 12

13 UNDERSTANDING THE PILES & THE PERSON 13

14 THE MESS IS A BLUEPRINT OF TIME The mess is a blueprint of time The progression is the time stamp of WHEN the house fills up Each room represents a different mental state and time in the hoarder s life Remember each room started off CLEAN They don t all fill at the same time and pace 14

15 TYPES OF HOARDS Volcano Reverse Volcano Red Sea Rolling Hill Cave HOW the items are displayed tells a lot about the hoarder s intentions. 15

16 TYPES OF HOARDS Check dates in each room - Magazines or mail at the bottom & top of the pile show when/where the house filled up - This gives you a time stamp of physical and emotional hoard Know where to start and navigate BASED on mental history - Will save everyone $$$ - And it s the right thing to do Date Type of Hoard Hoarding Category Where to Start 16

17 HOW TO PROPERLY COMMUNICATE 17

18 COMMUNICATIONS FRONT DOOR Front Door Communications: Hoarder must maintain control Knock and take 3 steps back Invite them to come outside and talk for a few minutes 5 min conversation can set the pace for an entire cleanup Wait to be INVITED inside Specific word choice: No matter how bad it is say, This isn t so bad. I ve seen a lot worse. Why but I wouldn t want my mom to live like this. Why 18

19 COMMUNICATIONS FRONT DOOR Word Choice - Walking through the door: Remember you might be the FIRST person in that home in 10 years Acknowledge the elephant in the room If you get into a dangerous situation and you need to get on safety gear Insurance mandates I have to wear gear when I walk through your house. I do this all the time, so I have to be safe for my family. Have the client lead you through the home 19

20 COMMUNICATIONS DURING CLEANUP To learn more about something, keep it open ended: Tell me about. Ask permission for everything Over-exaggerate (can I put my hand here, can I put my foot here) It helps the client get used to making decisions Give compliments when they are real nice china beautiful paintings Praise good decisions 20

21 HELPING THE HOARDER THROUGH THE PROCESS Anyone can throw trash away. Understanding the mental part is what differentiates us from EVERYONE else. It s all about compassion, trust, respect & communication. 21

22 OUR MISSION Legacy Navigator is a full-service company working with estate settlements or estates in transition. Our goal is to minimize a family's stress while maximizing the value of the estate. 22

23 LEGACY NAVIGATOR SERVICES: 1. We are the one-stop shop to manage ALL client needs. 2. Our services are rooted in compassion and empathy. 3. Our financing gives families more choice about their future. 23

24 POTENTIAL TRANSITION EVENTS We support families during the following transitions: Death Downsizing Distress Divorce Including: Death of a parent or spouse Move to assisted living Transition into hospice care Debilitating illness or injury Personal financial restructuring We are the one-stop shop to guide clients through all their options and manage ALL their needs. 24

25 LEGACY NAVIGATOR By offering clients a choice, we minimize a family s stress and maximize the estate s value. Contact Information: info@legacynavigator.com Modern Grief Blog & Fun at Funeral Podcast Follow me (Matt Paxton) on Facebook, Twitter, and Follow Legacy Navigator on Facebook and Q&A 25