Introduction to Conflict Resolution for New Supports Coordinators

Transcription

1 Music only. Course #: ID

2 This webcast includes spoken narration. To adjust the volume, use the controls at the bottom of the screen. While viewing this webcast, there is a pause and reverse button that can be used throughout the presentation. The written version of the narration appears to the right of the screen. Course #: ID

3 Certificates of Achievement will be available to new Supports Coordinators who complete this webcast as part of their Orientation. Please view and then save or print your certificate in order to receive credit for this course. For SCs, course requirements include successful completion of a pre test and post test. Course #: ID

4 Hello, my name is Kathy Alston from the Office of Developmental Programs. Welcome to this webcast. This Introduction to Conflict Resolution is intended for new supports coordinators during the first month of hire as part of Orientation. This webcast builds on the concepts discussed in the Introduction To Facilitation webcast. If you haven t watched that webcast yet, please do so before proceeding. The concepts in this webcast provide a framework for thinking about conflict and some methods to resolve it. Undoubtedly, your work as a supports coordinator will give you the opportunity to learn how to handle conflict through experience. If teams are not working together in collaboration, it s your role to lead them in resolving conflict even if you are not directly involved in the conflict. Only when teams face conflict and work through it can they support individuals to achieve what they want in their lives. Our system is dynamic and conflict is, at times, unavoidable. But, when conflict is a barrier to quality service and satisfaction, it MUST be addressed. Course #: ID

5 These are the two objectives for this webcast: Describe the causes of conflict and the cost of unresolved conflict and Identify methods for resolving conflict. We hope this knowledge and these skills are part of a good start in your new career. Over the coming weeks and months, reflect on these ideas in light of your experiences, and talk about them with your supervisor. On behalf of the Office of Developmental Programs, I want to welcome you to your new position and wish you the best. Now, I ll turn the presentation over to Dave Maloney from The Columbus Organization. Course #: ID

6 Thank you, Kathy. Hello, my name is Dave Maloney with The Columbus Organization. First, I d like to say congratulations on beginning your career as a Supports Coordinator! I hope you find your work even more rewarding than you anticipated it would be. We ve designed this webcast for you as part of Orientation for your new job. Although there are some specific techniques for resolving conflict, this webcast is really about how to recognize and think about the nature of conflict and how it plays out. We hope it will be a good foundation to build on as you gain experience and confidence. Let s get started. Course #: ID

7 I ll be using a story to illustrate some of the concepts in this webcast. Roy s story is fictional, but it s a familiar one to supports coordinators. Roy s had a number of jobs since he left high school in Some have gone well, others have not. Roy worked third shift at Root & Branch furniture plant for 3 ½ months. His job was to sand and assemble furniture that other shifts had built. Most of the time, Ray worked by himself. Three days ago, Roy quit the job saying he no longer liked it. His boss said Roy was a dependable, hard worker and there were no concerns, but both agreed it was for the best since Roy just didn t seem happy in the job. He s not interested in trying to get back into the factory, He just wants to find a new job. And he hasn t been specific about how soon. Diego is Roy s job coach and Samantha (Sam) is his supports coordinator. Both have known Roy, and each other, for a few years. When Diego and Sam ran into each other in Sam s office, they took a moment to touch base about what they ll offer Roy at his meeting in a few days. Diego and Sam quickly realize that they have different ideas of what to do next. Diego wants to begin the job search immediately and says he could set up interviews as soon as the next day, if Roy agrees. On the other hand, Sam believes things should not move that quickly. She feels Roy needs time to think about what would really make him happy in a job. Sam tells Diego she has recently been trained in person centered techniques for job exploration and thinks using these tools with Roy would be better than jumping right into a new job. Course #: ID

8 Just so we re clear: Diego and Sam are just talking about ideas that they have for Roy. They re not planning FOR him. Roy will make the decisions about what to do next when they meet with him. But Diego and Sam agree on one thing: Roy has anxiety (he s been seeing a doctor and taking medication for several years) and hearing conflicting options will be hard for him. He says it makes him very nervous when he thinks the people in his life are fighting. Even though Roy is doing okay with his anxiety, neither Sam nor Diego want to chance upsetting him, especially so soon after leaving his last job. It s really crucial that they work on resolving their conflict before they sit down with Roy to give him options. So, Sam and Diego are in conflict; the issue centers around when to begin job development. Diego is adamant on starting right away, while Sam feels rushing things without clear ideas of what Roy really wants is a terrible idea. They agree it s important to discuss their conflict further before the team meeting. Keep Roy, Sam and Diego in mind we ll come back to them in a few minutes. Course #: ID

9 Now, we re going to talk about what conflict is: this definition is one way to think about it. I m going to modify this definition a bit: conflict results from the perception of opposing interests. I added perception because, as we will see later, although conflict among people is real and can sometimes even be seen and heard, it s also something that happens in each individual s mind. We each need to know and examine our own thoughts, feelings, and reasons for experiencing conflict before we can work on the issue with another person. Course #: ID

10 When I say conflict occurs when people perceive that their interests are at odds with the interests of others, what do I mean? Here are some examples: You and I might feel conflict if I perceive that our interests are mutually exclusive. In other words, if I get what I want, you CAN T get what you want. It s either your way or my way can t be both. Perhaps conflict stems from different values, beliefs, experiences, or perspectives. If we have significant disagreement on basic and important things, we may have difficulty even starting a conversation about a conflict. Conflict can also occur between professionals when they perceive their roles clash with others, or if the policies or procedures of their different organizations make them feel that their responsibilities are at odds. Course #: ID

11 Let s develop our understanding of conflict further. What are some of the other reasons people might be in conflict? You may have already thought of a time when your personality and another person s just clashed. We re all human and sometimes people just rub each other the wrong way. You may have felt conflict if someone in authority was asking you to do something with which you just didn t agree. Have you ever felt in competition with a colleague? Maybe because you both want the same thing but only one can have it, or because you re vying for recognition for an accomplishment? And what about change especially change that is sudden or difficult to accept? Do you recall feeling conflicted about going along with changes you were asked to make? Conflict is a part of life. We all know what it feels like; we have all been there in personal and professional relationships. Feeling conflict is more than a word choice: we often physically and mentally experience the stress of conflict. Our mind can be preoccupied with what to do or why it s happening. Our bodies can react to the frustration or anxiety that comes with conflict: we feel nervous, perhaps even nauseated. If we re feeling conflict in our minds and bodies, how do we see the signs that another person is also experiencing conflict? Course #: ID

12 People feeling conflict may just come out and say so, removing all doubt: We don t agree. We have a conflict! But often, signs of conflict show in our behavior. We might notice people withdraw and avoid interaction with us. Conflict might show up if someone agrees to a plan but doesn t follow through. He or she might even actively undermine the plan. People with authority may pull rank to settle a conflict. This might resolve things for the person with the power but everyone still feels frustrated because, for them, the conflict isn t resolved yet. Just as you might experience emotion because of conflict, you might notice that others are anxious, nervous, or sullen. We might see the emotion displayed in body language: knitted brow or arms tightly folded across the chest. Strong negative emotion like anger might be seen on the face or in the increasing volume of a person s voice. And, hopefully not too often, conflict can spill out as aggression and we might hear shouting, personal attacks, or see clenched fists. Signs of aggression associated with conflict are a caution Course #: ID

13 and should always be taken seriously. This is a good time to talk about safety. If we see someone begin with withdrawal but escalate to anger and then clenched fists and begin to move into others personal space, the emotion may not be under control. It s possible that the situation could escalate beyond verbal aggression. The approaches to conflict resolution we ll discuss later are sequential, logical, and rely on those involved to think and communicate clearly. Strong negative emotion interferes with the rational, step by step process of conflict resolution. When you see emotion taking control, it s not a time to talk about solutions. A break might be enough for the person to regain control, or you and others at risk may need to end the discussion, leave, and seek support and safety. Course #: ID

14 We said conflict is a part of life; none of us can avoid it. But have you thought about the cost of conflict, and how the price increases the longer conflict goes unaddressed? Think of people estranged for years as an unaddressed conflict deepens. Think about the cost of unresolved conflict within teams that support individuals and families. This is not just a potential financial cost, but also costs to supportive relationships, satisfaction, emotional and physical well being, and quality of supports. Whether you find yourself in a conflict or observe conflict among others on a team, your role to coordinate means you have a responsibility to help resolve conflict. The cost of unaddressed conflict is just too high for individuals and families depending on us. For example, if two service providers need to coordinate their efforts but conflict has strained their communication there s a risk that important information, even health and safety concerns, may not be communicated when necessary. Strained relationships due to unresolved conflict make the work more difficult, but the highest cost is often paid by the individual and family when their team is not working well together. Course #: ID

15 So this is what we ve talked about so far. As a supports coordinator, you may experience conflict resulting from mutually exclusive interests, change (there s always change!) competition, people who you must work with but with whom you just don t get along. I also talked about people who use rank or experience (their authority) to enforce what they want to happen, disagreement about roles and responsibilities, or the expectations of your agency versus others. Certainly, your values and perspective will sometimes be very different than others and may be a source of conflict. However, as a new supports coordinator, you re not alone in figuring out how to deal with conflict. In addition to applying the skills and knowledge provided in this webcast, your supervisor and colleagues can also be helpful in managing conflict. Course #: ID

16 Let s get back to Diego and Sam. Remember, their conflict centers on how quickly Roy should get back into the job search. Diego says, Right away, how about tomorrow? But Sam feels strongly. Let s take a breather and do some real person centered exploration to find Roy a job that he ll love, want to stay with, and be successful in. Here s a point I want to make about conflict: Sam and Diego disagree on their positions about when job development should begin. Their positions are the conclusions at which they have arrived; but a conclusion is the end of the road. Diego and Sam didn t jump to the end of the road and find positions already formed. Separately, they put time into forming their positions and arrived at their conclusions by putting together their reasons, one by one. Their reasons are what we called interests in the definition of conflict earlier in the webcast. In the conversation in Sam s office, she and Diego made their positions clear to one another right from the start. They told each other where they wanted to end up, and they don t agree. They might even assume they know the other person s interests that led to the position, but do they really, without having talked them through and asked questions of each other? Are Diego and Sam even aware of their own self interests that led them to the positons they hold? They need to go back to the beginning of the road and, together, talk about the interests that led each to their position. Course #: ID

17 Now I m going to ask you to think about interests (or, reasons) by practicing with a quiz. In the box on the screen a quote will appear that either Diego or Sam said. Your task is to click on each quote and drag it into Sam s column or Diego s, based on what you know. Don t worry, this is not a test and your responses won t be kept or evaluated. And don t it think over. Read the quote, and trust your first response as to who said it. The learning comes from just trying to figure out reasons. Begin when you re ready: read each quote and then drag it to either Diego s or Sam s column. Click submit when you ve finished moving all the quotes. Course #: ID

18 Here s one way the quotes match up. Yours may have been different or you may have thought that either Diego or Sam could have said a quote. There was a bit of a trick in the question: some of the quotes clearly belonged to one or the other, but others could have been said by either. This is to make the point that sometimes people s interests are clear but other times we may need to ask questions to really understand the true meaning for their reasons. You can see that most of the quotes are about Roy s well being. We d expect that from two professionals who also happen to care about Roy. But, did you see that both Sam and Diego also have their own interests for their positions? Sam is eager to try the new skills she learned, Diego is concerned about the reaction of his boss if things don t move quickly. Course #: ID

19 Having many interests, including our own, is not selfish. It s human nature to think about our own interests, even when we are truly, genuinely concerned about someone else s. But ALL of Diego s and Sam s interests helped to lead them to their separate and conflicting opinions. Will these two people really be able to fully resolve their conflict if they don t know each other s self interests Sam s interest in person centered planning and Diego s concern about his boss s reaction? I realize that suggesting people should be completely transparent about all their interests, even those that are hard to admit to another person, is a lot to ask. However, the point is this: conflict resolution really can be hard work and sometimes we have to take an honest look in the mirror to understand the interests that drive us to the positions we hold. Course #: ID

20 So, conflict resolution begins with each of us, before we even sit down to talk about conflicting interests with another person. Put yourself in Sam s place. What are her interests? Is Sam assuming that her way is the only way? Is she missing the possibility that she and Diego could both get some of their interests met? Does she have assumptions about why Diego and the employment agency want to rush into job development? How do her assumptions contribute to her sense of conflict? And if she learns her assumptions are true, how does she bring it up with Diego? Can Sam admit that she has two motives for wanting to use person centered skills for Roy, but also for herself? Can she put Roy s interests first? What are her worries, both about Roy and about resolving her conflict with Diego? Could her worst fears really happen? Are there ways to avoid them? What would be Sam s best hope for Roy? How can she explain so Diego understands? What interests could Sam bend on? What does Sam consider non negotiable, for example, her strongly held principle that health and safety are never up for negotiation? Thinking about and even being critical of our reasons and motives is not easy to do. But the alternative for Sam is that she would not be prepared to state her interests clearly to Diego, and fail at resolving the conflict. Course #: ID

21 Now that Sam has examined all the interests that led to her position, she s prepared to sit down with Diego to talk about their different ideas for Roy. It may be that thinking deeply about her own interests might have been uncomfortable for Sam. Now, she s going to talk about her interests with Diego and be as open as she can be, which will be even tougher. And, Sam will need to find out as much about Diego s interests as he is comfortable telling her, which, because he s sitting face to face with Sam, may be even more difficult for him. Sam needs to do her best to put Diego at ease. The Introduction to Facilitation webcast that you watched previously provided many ways to start conversations. One is to begin by succinctly stating the purpose at the beginning: Sam might say simply, We re here because we have different ideas about what to offer Roy next. The Facilitation webcast also talked about using the stated purpose if the conversation drifts or becomes challenging: restate the purpose to get back on track. Sam can also lead by example and go first by stating her position and giving her reasons. Going first also gives Sam an opportunity to model for Diego what she will be asking him to do next. Then, when it s Diego s turn to speak: Sam needs to be ready to listen to what he says. Course #: ID

22 If you were in Sam s position, the active listening skills you learned in the Facilitation webcast would be helpful. Avoid interruptions especially when the other person begins to open up about interests. Use eye contact and lean slightly toward the person to demonstrate attention and interest. When something isn t clear, rephrase it and ask for confirmation from the person that it s correct. Above all, reserve judgement so the person doesn t feel defensive and close up. Course #: ID

23 Many people may begin by stating the position they hold. It s more comfortable than talking about interests and reasons, and they may have to be encouraged to talk more about interests. Take it slow and, if they show signs that they re having trouble putting their thoughts into words give them time. Borrowing from the Facilitation webcast again, use open ended questions to help draw others out. Ask people about their worries; ask what is important to them about their position. When something isn t clear or complete, ask them if they can say more about it. Course #: ID

24 As you re listening: You may hear interests that are similar or the same as yours. You may have ideas about how you could help the person meet their interests. You may realize that some interests are different, but they don t necessarily conflict they might co exist. And you might discover which interests are really opposed conflicts that will have to be worked out in order to move forward. Course #: ID

25 For Sam and Diego, the conflict they started with when to begin job development for Roy is still there. However, after listening to each other s interests, they now have something new to build on. Course #: ID

26 Diego and Sam begin to see that their interests connect to each other s. Each may express interests differently, but there is common ground between the two of them. Sam worries that if another job doesn t work out, Roy s anxiety may get much worse. Diego says something similar in a different way: Roy feels peaceful and satisfied even happy when he has work that makes him feel capable and competent. Both Diego and Sam can agree: feeling successful at work has a positive affect on Roy s anxiety. They also found common ground as they talked about the people Roy has stayed friends with from previous jobs these coworkers and Roy have become part of each other s lives. But Diego worries that unemployment may result in more time alone. Sam says the same thing from a different angle: Roy needs to have people at work that he trusts and be part of a group that laughs and jokes together, and maybe make friends. Sam suspects his last job didn t last because he worked alone on third shift and didn t have a strong bond with his boss or coworkers. Course #: ID

27 Finding and talking about common ground can be an important first step to take early in conflict resolution. Realizing there is common ground between different positions can ease some of the tension in conflict. If we can identify some things we both agree to, it may make us realize that we re not as far apart as we thought. Identifying common ground, whether the shared interests are large or small, gives people in conflict an early success and can move the conversation in a more positive direction. Common ground can also be the foundation for specific conflict resolution techniques, which we ll talk about next. Celebrate a successful first step. When you find interests that are similar or even the same say it out loud: These are the things we agree on. Course #: ID

28 The next step is to talk about specific conflict resolution techniques. There are many to choose from we ll talk about four: Compromise Collaboration Accommodation and Agree to disagree Course #: ID

29 Resolving conflict through compromise is really about negotiation. I agree to bend on some of my interests even let go of them entirely as long as you do the same. We both give up a little but we both gain a little, too. Everyone walks away with some interests met and some not met; but everyone feels the compromise is fair. Remember what we talked about earlier the important work of figuring out and then talking about interests. If I haven t done that thinking about my own interests and reasons for my position I m going to be a little unclear about what I can give to reach a compromise. In order to be ready to negotiate a compromise, everyone in a conflict needs to have a crystal clear idea of their interests: which are most important, which are up for discussion, and which are not negotiable. For Sam and Diego, a compromise might mean that both move a little in the direction of the other s position about when job development begins: right away, or after using person centered techniques that might help Roy figure out his dream job. Maybe they decide that when they meet with Roy, they ll tell him that they have a compromise to offer him. Diego and Roy will begin looking at job postings but not in as much of a rush, while Sam and Roy start working on person centered planning techniques. The compromise includes the agreement that they ll share what they learn through frequent communication so their experiences and learning will benefit everyone. Roy s part would be to make sure that both Sam and Diego are both aware of the decisions he s thinking through. Course #: ID

30 Collaboration can be the most satisfying way to resolve conflict. It s more than giving up some interests and having others met. Collaboration is characterized by buy in, agreement, and commitment to implement a plan. It occurs when people recognize that they have common interests and can work together toward a common purpose. Collaboration is the win win of conflict resolution. When teams resolve conflict by agreeing to collaborate, their plan may be composed of different interests and positions that they have unified so everything's pulling in the same direction. Or, the process of conflict resolution itself may spark so much creativity that the team develops an entirely new plan. For Roy, Sam, and Diego, collaboration might result from a really fantastic and exciting discussion that not only resolved the conflict, but exceeded their expectations. They could have created a plan that melded Sam s person centered techniques right into Diego s job development. In other words, the job search uses information Roy and his team learned from person centered discovery; and Roy s personcentered information would incorporate what worked or didn t work in past jobs. Job development and person centered planning aren t two positions side by side; in this team s collaboration, they become one approach and everybody s on board. What had been seen as a conflict becomes a new plan that brings together the best of Diego s and Sam s perspectives on Roy s behalf. Course #: ID

31 Accommodation is another way to resolve conflict. It simply means that one person agrees to the position of another. It may be rare that one side in a conflict totally agrees to the other s position, but it does occur. More often, accommodation can be useful when people are stuck on a smaller issue that prevents them from moving forward in conflict resolution. If one person agrees that they will go along with something the other person feels strongly about, they can then move forward to the next part of the discussion. Let s say Diego reveals his concern about telling his boss that job development will not proceed immediately; remember, that was what his boss had told him to do. Sam may understand Diego s worry and be willing to bend on her position that job development should wait until some person centered exploration has been done. She tells Diego that she ll agree, if Roy does, to begin some job development activities like getting Roy s work history updated and ready for future job applications. Diego starts to feel some relief. By accommodating one of Diego s interests, both can now perhaps move forward to discuss other interests. Accommodation is different than compromise in that one person s interest is met but the other, in agreeing, doesn t gain anything except the ability to move on and continue working on the larger conflict. Accommodation can be a useful conflict resolution technique, then, to help people get unstuck and keep moving forward. Course #: ID

32 When people feel very deeply about their position, it s easy to want to fight every battle. One pitfall to avoid in conflict resolution is focusing on every small issue instead of looking at the big picture. Agreeing to disagree means that, as smaller points of disagreement surface and can t be resolved, people realize they don t see eye to eye but set the disagreement aside to move on. Perhaps they ll come back to the disagreement later and work it out, or perhaps they will always see things differently. Being able to disagree with respect and civility is a skill that successful, productive teams must use to produce results and maintain professional relationships. Sam and Diego have talked many times about the reasons each believes that Roy s past jobs haven t worked out, but they just see things differently. If they get stuck in hashing this old debate again, they ll get stalled and not talk about how to solve their conflict and develop a proposal for Roy. Their disagreement about the past could stand in the way of finding compromise or even a creative, collaborative solution. So, they agree to disagree about this particular issue and move on to another topic. Course #: ID

33 The last step is not a conflict resolution method, but it is vitally important to continuing to move in a positive direction after a conflict is settled, to avoid future conflict, and to ensure relationships remain productive. Once everyone feels that there s a solution to the conflict and they have a plan, make sure to confirm the agreements. Confirming the agreements and the plan doesn t have to be stiff and formal, but it should be in writing because you ll want to refer to it later. We discussed methods for follow up in the Introduction to Facilitation webcast and the same approaches can be used for confirming agreements after conflict resolution. Another good practice following a successful discussion about conflict is to make a conscious effort to stay in even more frequent communication than usual, at least for a while. After a good discussion, everyone feels they re in a better place having worked through conflict and agreed to a plan. Take advantage of the improved relationships to support each other and check in to see if things are going according to plan. Think of staying in communication as the mortar that cements a good foundation. To make it more likely that conflicts won t creep in later, and that the plan is successful, the team needs to tend to the agreements they built together. Finally, catch people doing the right thing. By that I mean, when you see someone honoring the agreements you made, let them know and tell them you appreciate it. Showing respect for honoring commitments will go a long way toward rebuilding relationships strained by conflict and may help avoid conflicts in the future. Using your knowledge and the conflict resolution techniques will be one of the skills to rely on in order to provide the best quality supports coordination to the people you support. Thank you for watching this webcast. Don t forget to take the post test when you are ready and open and print a Certificate of Achievement. Course #: ID

34 This webcast has been developed and produced by the Pennsylvania Department of Human Services, Office of Developmental Programs in partnership with The Columbus Organization. Thank you for participating in this lesson. Course #: ID