Team Players: Strategies for Conflict Resolu8on

Transcription

1 Team Players: Strategies for Conflict Resolu8on Albert B. Blixt Senior Partner Dannemiller Tyson Associates Session Outcomes Understanding of ü What conflict is and how it affects us ü How to find the roots of conflict ü 5 Styles for dealing with conflicts ü 7 Tips to Resolve Conflicts ü Ideas you can take home and use October 23 26,

2 Agenda Welcome GeJng Connected Understanding Conflict Styles to Resolve Conflict How Can I Use This Informa8on? Ideas and Insights GeJng Connected Form Pairs or Trios Introduce Yourself in 2 Minutes each: My name, my organiza8on, my role How and where do I see conflict in my life? What would l like to get out of this session? October 23 26,

3 How Do We Experience Conflict? When you hear the word conflict, what emo8ons do you think of? ü Fear? Panic? Anxiety? ü Anger? Shou8ng? Slamming Doors? ü Sadness? Disappointment? ü Guilt? Mor8fied? Humiliated? What is Conflict? Conflict is when you pose a threat to something or someone I value or Conflict is when you keep me from mee8ng the needs that I have or Conflict is when you don t meet my expecta8ons October 23 26,

4 We Have Conflict When ü I don t like your facts! ü I don t like your methods! ü I don t like your goals! ü I don t like your beliefs and values! ü I don t like you! What Are The Consequences? What happens when stress goes unresolved? ü Stress ü Physical symptoms ü Emo8onal distress ü Loss of confidence ü Conflict con8nues to fester October 23 26,

5 Strategies Based On Balancing Needs Asser8veness (Mee8ng My Own Needs) Vs. Coopera8veness: (Mee8ng the Needs of Others) Styles for Dealing With Conflict Compe8ng Collabora8ng Asser(veness Avoiding Compromising Accommoda8ng Coopera(veness Thomas- Kilmann Conflict Model October 23 26,

6 Compe8ng I Win You Lose Used When You Have Power ü Standing up for your principles ü Feels good when you win ü Can be seen as bullying no regard for others ü People won t want to play with you Accommoda8ng I Lose You Win Used When You Don t Have Power or Don t Want It ü PuJng the interests of others first ü Can resolve conflict ü Can be seen as weakness - no regard for self ü People will take advantage of you October 23 26,

7 Avoiding I Won t Deal With That Now Used When You Don t Want to Play ü Pick Your Badles Let it go ü May avoid conflict For now ü Can be seen as indifference ü Conflict festers and may get worse Compromising We Both Win and We Both Lose Used When There Is A Balance of Power ü Balances interests of self and others ü No real winners or losers ü Can leave you unsa8sfied ü Makes you look like you have no principles October 23 26,

8 Collabora8ng Win - Win Used When You Want to Share Power ü Rejects the premise of a Win- Lose scenario ü Looks for crea8ve new solu8ons ü Can take a long 8me takes pa8ence ü Focuses on interests, not posi8ons Tips for Resolving Conflict 1. Make conflict resolu8on the priority rather than winning or being right 2. Understand the past: What started this dance? 3. Choose your conflict style wisely 4. Seek a new story not based on I win, You lose 5. Focus on the future, not the past 6. Be willing to forgive, not punish 7. Know when to stop figh8ng and move on October 23 26,

9 Phrases For Coping in the Moment That s interes8ng. Why would you say that? Why would you do that? Why would you ask that? Ways to Prevent Conflict in the Future 1. Focus on common goal or purpose 2. Agree on rules of engagement 3. Nego8ate clear expecta8ons 4. Be willing to forgive 5. Make it a point to check on the rela8onship October 23 26,

10 How Does This Apply to Me? In pairs or trios, discuss a difficult conflict situa2on in your life: Who was your opponent? What was threatened? What was the story you told yourself? What style did each of you use? What happened? What advice would you give yourself now for gejng to a different story? What Have We Covered? Understanding of ü What conflict is and how it affects us ü Ques8ons to help find the roots of conflict ü 5 Styles for dealing with conflicts ü 7 Tips to Resolve Conflicts ü Ideas you can take home and use October 23 26,

11 Conflict is When you pose a threat to something or someone I value or When you keep me from mee8ng the needs that I have or When you don t meet my expecta8ons We Have Conflict When ü I don t like your facts! ü I don t like your methods! ü I don t like your goals! ü I don t like your beliefs and values! ü I don t like you! October 23 26,

12 There are Nega8ve Consequences ü Stress ü Physical symptoms ü Emo8onal distress ü Loss of confidence ü Conflict con8nues to fester Styles for Dealing With Conflict Compe8ng Collabora8ng Asser(veness Compromising Avoiding Accommoda8ng Coopera(veness October 23 26,

13 Tips for Resolving Conflict 1. Make conflict resolu8on the priority rather than winning or being right 2. Understand the past: What started this dance? 3. Choose your conflict style wisely 4. Seek a new story not based on I win, You lose 5. Focus on the future, not the past 6. Be willing to forgive, not punish 7. Know when to stop figh8ng and move on It Feels Good when Conflict Is Resolved October 23 26,

14 Open Forum What did we hear? What are our reac(ons? What are our ques(ons? October 23 26,