THE POWER OF PERSONAL PRESENCE

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2 THE POWER OF YOUR PRESENCE Welcome and congratulations on choosing to embark on the most powerful personal journey of self-awareness, building your Personal Presence with confidence and being fully in touch with who you are and who you want to be. Whether it s personal, professional, spiritual, physical or any other domain of life we will explore techniques to help build your true character and presence so that you can positively impact and influence the people in your life. Presence is difficult to define, very real, and can have a substantial impact on your career and life. Presence has everything to do with character and little to do with personality. Solidifying and communicating a clear Presence is a skill that can be learned and continuously developed. Personal Presence is about getting you seen, heard and remembered for what you do. When I started my business life at the age of twenty one, I became a student of personal development. I have studied, researched, been shown, trained and then practiced what I have learned with my clients. After hundreds of hours researching and working with people, it has become clear that we are quick to brush off a compliment. We are dangerously self-critical and completely unaware of the presence we have. We can give advice to others, and yet don t act on it ourselves. This workshop aims to capture the core concepts of Presence and becoming clear about the impact and influence we have on others. The workshop covers 3 key steps to maximise your influence: How you LOOK First impressions, body language, dress, passion, energy, environment. How you SOUND Voice quality, word choices, and your ability to have meaningful conversations How you ACT deals with attitude and character, communication style, habits and behaviors. 2

3 3 Things to Remember About PRESENCE Intention - Your beliefs shape every aspect of your presence, from Body language to the actions you choose to undertake. The presence you want to demonstrate, the values you want to convey and how that matches up with how others perceive you. Individual - We connect with individuals, we bring people closer to us and build relationships that foster loyalty and trust. Access to others is granted, not automatically assumed. Influential - Using our presence to influence others. To be inspiring you must exhibit your full presence: you have to stand out and get noticed. List three people you believe have a Powerful Presence? What qualities, characteristics or behaviors do you notice in these people? The 6 components of Personal Presence: 1. Authentic sustainable, differentiates you, encourages it in others 2. Passionate heartfelt, energetic and has strong feelings and beliefs 3. Enthusiastic dynamic, committed, vivacious and shows warmth 4. Comfortable reflect on their emotions, attitudes and situations 5. Confident appears at ease and comfortable, speaks clearly and persuasively 6. Captivating capable of attracting and holding interest charming 3

4 The Power of INFLUENCE LEVEL FOCUS RESULTS Noticed - impact - dynamic INFLUENCE 1 Empowered Visible Respected Credible PROFILE 2 Validated Believable PURPOSE BEHAVIOUR 3 Adequate Invisible CHANGE 4 Insignificant 5 Where do you currently see yourself on this pyramid? Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly. ~ George MacDonald 4

5 Part 1: The Power of VISIBILITY Whenever you walk into to a room, you assess the scene. Expect others to do the same. The goal is not calculated behavior and manipulation, rather - awareness of the importance to present your best self 55% 38% 7% is how you look is how you sound is what you say LOOK BODY LANGUAGE ENERGY PASSION You communicate the moment you step into a room, before you say a word. Your presence, your body language and the balance and harmony of your look are judged. The message you send is interpreted before you say a single word. If the way you look and sound don t match, then what you say won t be heard. Research proves the importance of dress and grooming to your personal credibility. Ignore it and its benefits your choice. But like it or not, people make important decisions based on your dress. What does your environment say about you? Personal Presence extends to your surroundings your home, your car and your environment. When someone walks into your space and looks around, does it say, a confident, competent person lives or works here? Consider each item in this space. 5

6 The Power of PASSION Without passion, you don t have energy; without energy, you have nothing. Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion. Your passion about an idea or topic excites others. You often hear it said of others, She has a zest for life. He has a passion for life that s contagious. You can t help but feel upbeat when you are around him. Passion adds to an intense feeling, a palpable thing. You can be passionately angry or passionately happy or passionately in love. On the other hand, you can walk into someone s home or office and feel the tension in air The Power of CREDIBILITY Body language is a very important tool. We had body language before we had speech ~ Deborah Bull The way you communicate through body language in those few crucial minutes when meeting someone new could make or break a very important relationship. Research has shown now that you have less than one second for others to determine if you are friend or foe. 6

7 The Power of BODY LANGUAGE Dictatorial Openness Nervousness Emphasis Arrogance Crossed arms Open hands palms up Biting fingernails Underscoring a point on a visual aid Hands on Lapels or hem of jacket Pounding fist Large arm gestures Chewing on objects such as pencils Large arm movements from the shoulder Steeple fingers Hands on hips Removing your glasses Hands covering mouth Dramatic pauses Preening gestures adjusting clothing patting hair Pointing finger Moving out from behind your desk Lack of eye contact Lifted eyebrows Pointing finger in lecturing fashion Hands behind back Leaning forward Touching ears Head poised in a reflective tilt Smirking when the other person is speaking Hands in steeple position Hand-to-face gestures Playing with hair Animated facial expressions Folded arms Head tilted to the side Rubbing your neck Clenched fists 7

8 Part 2: The Power of YOUR VOICE Words are like eyeglasses:they blur everything that they do not make clear ~ Joseph Joubert SOUND As professor and author William Strunk observed, A sentence should have no unnecessary words, a paragraph no unnecessary sentences, for the same reason a drawing should have no unnecessary lines and a machine no necessary parts. Profound people strive for simplicity and clarity VOICE QUALITY WORD CHOICE THOUGHTS STORIES Vocal Variety: Pace, Pitch, Pause, Punch, And Passion Your voice - inflection, tone, intensity, beat, pausing, and volume - can be powerful tool to control a conversation, command a crowd, communicate a culture and ultimately create a career Add volume to increase authority Volume adds energy to your voice: it has the power to command or lose the listeners attention. Increase or decrease to gain attention Variety grabs attention. Your listeners have neither a script nor a highlighter to follow along as you speak; your vocal variation must mark key ideas for their attention and recall. Modulate, modulate, modulate. If your listeners are bored, it is because you sound boring. Breathe deeply to improve voice quality The deeper you breather the better you will sound. Lower pitch to increase authority A lower pitch conveys power, authority, and confidence, whereas a high pitch conveys in Improve your vocabulary the ums and ahs. Practice cutting them out of every conversation. Use words that are interesting and evocative. Read trade journals, magazines and books. Identify vocal qualities for overall positive impression - Vocal quality refers to such characteristics as a breathy sound, at tense harshness, nasal tones, or a deep resonant, solemn sound. Vocal quality is measured by weaknesses such as slurring words, over under articulating certain sounds. Conversations are like a non-physical way of touching 8

9 Part 3: The Power of YOUR BEHAVIOUR Value statements are grounded in values and define how people want to behave with each other in an organization, an institution, a company, or a family. They are statements about how the organization will value customers, suppliers, and the internal community. Value statements describe actions which are the living enactment of the fundamental values held by most individuals within the organization. ACT CHARACTER ATTITUDE HABITS Values drive results and culture your values drive who you are and what your known for. List your three top values, describe and what those values mean to you. What is your promise to live by those values and how will you know when you are not living them? Value 1 Value 2 Value 3 9

10 The Power of living YOUR VALUES Reflect on how well your behavior conveys the values you want to project and the kind of person you really are. People are often amazed when they are informed of the silent messages emitted through their behavior. Honesty Direct eye contact A positive expressive face Active listening Unhurried /unhesitant speech A composed body and open gestures Intelligent Quiet and composed More softly spoken Using moderate gestures Short on small talk Not the first to introduce yourself A good listener Approachable Smile more Introduce yourself immediately Make small talk Stand closer to people Listen with enthusiasm Touch others Show empathy with facial expressions and gestures. Successful Have erect posture and are energetic, yet composed Proffer a firm and direct handshake Don t convey an excess of enthusiasm even when you are brimming over Speak clearly at a moderate pace Don t jump to answer questions Are free of stress-because you ve got life under control Use eye contact when speaking and listening. 10

11 Who are you being? Write two to three sentences that describe who you are, the essence of your achievements and what you offer, and that will project the kind of person you want to become. If your goal is Evolution, Work on changing your behavior; If your goal is Revolution, Work on changing your context. Two people in a conversation amount to four people talking. The four are: what one person says, what they really wanted to say, what the listener heard, and what they thought they heard Your conversation is the relationship William Jennings Bryant greatest orator in American History 11

12 Be above average 1. Be memorable it shows you care about yourself and your work. 2. In life and work 10% is aptitude, and 90% is attitude. 3. Do not tune out make good eye contact. 4. Enthusiasm is contagious. 5. It is the little things that count. 6. Know your outcomes. 7. The more you use, the more you have. The most valuable currency any of us have is not money. Nor is it intelligence, attractiveness, self-sufficiency or charisma. It is the relationship. It is the emotional capital Tips on making a lasting Personal Presence How You Look and Present Yourself Know yourself and what you stand for Know your audience who are you serving Choose your look develop your own Personal Presence Build on your professional image Keep up to date and lead by example Sounding The Part What are you saying and how are you saying it Engage in the conversation Speak in your real voice Are you really asking and really listening Acting The Part Your behavior is noticed become self aware Have attractive body language Enrich your relationships Participate in your community 12

13 Rate your Personal Presence LOOK day goal 60 day goal 90 day goal Posture First impressions Fitness Energy Health Grooming Body language Dress Confidence Present Passion SOUND day goal 60 day goal 90 day goal Voice quality Vocabulary Pitch/Tone Grammar Stories you tell Listening skills Thoughts Language Friends/Audience Authenticity ACT day goal 60 day goal 90 day goal Confidence Mindset Responsibility Integrity Manners Etiquette Attitude Character Habits Trust 13