LEADING WITH INFLUENCE

Transcription

1 LEADING WITH INFLUENCE Marilyn Gorman Gorman Group Consulting September 25, 2016 THE NEW WORLD OF WORK From.. To.. 1 INFLUENCING OTHERS ACTIVITY Disney World Grand Canyon New York City Influence your partner to visit a particular location Influence your partner to see a particular movie Influence your partner to read a particular book 2 1

2 INFLUENCING OTHERS ACTIVITY Influence your partner to dine at a particular restaurant Influence your partner to attend a particular concert Influence your partner to visit a particular country 3 INFLUENCING DEFINED others means getting people to do things because they want to do them. others includes making people feel involved and respected, assured that they are not being manipulated, and that there is something in it for them. 4 INFLUENCING SITUATIONS Implementing a change (process, procedure, etc.) Acquiring additional resources or support, etc. Getting others to reach an agreement Persuading others to take on additional work, tasks, activities, etc. Obtaining buy in from clients Gaining management, employee or peer support and buy in 5 2

3 THE PROCESS Situation Influence Planning Strategy the Skills of 6 UNDERSTANDING YOUR INFLUENCING SITUATION Situation Influence Planning Strategy the Skills of 7 CIRCLE OF CONCERN / INFLUENCE Circle of Concern Circle of Influence 8 3

4 Must have? Nice to have? 9 ADDITIONAL CRITICAL CONSIDERATIONS 1.Culture? 2.Relationship? 3.Location? 10 MY INFLUENCING SITUATION: My Situation Who am I trying to influence? (Individual, position, relationship) What is the influencing situation? Is it within my circle of influence? What is my objective/need? (must have/nice to have) What might be their resistance? 11 4

5 UNDERSTANDING YOUR INFLUENCE Situation Influence Planning Strategy the Skills of 12 INTERACTION STYLES Action-Emotion Matrix Emotion Orientation (vertical axis) Action Orientation (horizontal axis) 13 ACTION ORIENTATION Ask Softer Slower Less Back Less Less Volume of speech Pacing of speech Expressing opinions Body posture Directive gestures Eye contact Tell Louder Faster More Forward More More What are the behaviors that best describe you? 14 5

6 ACTION ORIENTATION Ask People to the left of the line Tell People to the right of the line Ask questions to clarify and gather info to make decisions Can be slow to make decisions and judgments Tend to speak more softly and slowly May ask you about your opinion before giving their own opinion Tell rather than ask Are typically quick to decide and act Can be louder, faster, and more declarative 15 ACTION ORIENTATION Ask X Tell Where would you place yourself? 16 ACTION ORIENTATION What are the positive things about being on your side of the continuum? What are the challenges you face in interacting with those of the opposite side of the continuum? What do you need to keep in mind when you want to influence those on the other end of the spectrum? Ask Tell 17 6

7 INTERACTION STYLES Action-Emotion Matrix Emotion Orientation (vertical axis) Action Orientation (horizontal axis) 18 EMOTION ORIENTATION More Emotive More More People Varied More Feeling Facial expressions Use of hands and body Orientation Pace of delivery Inflection Description of things More Reserved Less Less Task Even Less Fact What are the behaviors that best describe you. 19 EMOTION ORIENTATION People above the line It can be easier to read what they are feeling Feelings are reflected through voice, words, and body language Feelings such as anger, frustration, anxiety, and happiness, are reflected on their faces Emotive Reserved People below the line It is more difficult to read what they are feeling Voices do not have highs less and lows Gestures are not as dramatic as those of persons above the line 20 7

8 EMOTION ORIENTATION Emotive Where would you place yourself? X Reserved 21 EMOTION ORIENTATION Emotive What are the positive things about being on your side of the continuum? What are the challenges you face in interacting with those of the opposite side of the continuum? What do you need to keep in mind when you want to influence those on the other end of the spectrum? Reserved 22 MY INFLUENCING SITUATION: the person I am What style is the person you are trying to influence? What do you need to keep in mind regarding what you will say and do based on your influence s interaction style? (do s & don'ts) What action-orientation adjustments if any, do you need to make? What emotion-orientation adjustments if any, do you need to make? 23 8

9 24 UNDERSTANDING THE SKILLS OF INFLUENCING Situation Influence Planning Strategy the Skills of 25 THE FIRST 60 SECONDS We need to be aware of the following: What do I say? How do I say it? What do I need to do? Think about how you re being perceived 26 9

10 INFLUENCING SKILLS Propose 27 OBTAIN PERSPECTIVE Obtain other person s perspective Make others feel a part of the conversation (involvement) Discover other person s view of the world, their concerns, fears, and assumptions Encourage differing points of view Draw out other person s ideas Obtain Perspective 28 ACKNOWLEDGE Acknowledge what you hear Acknowledgement vs. agreement Demonstrate (verbal/non-verbal) that you value their opinion Paraphrase key points/comments Focus when listening and eliminate distractions Acknowledge 29 10

11 PROPOSE Propose your ideas/suggestions Speak to the other person s interests/benefit Help others to see a different perspective Present your thoughts in a logical and compelling manner Focus on common interests Propose 30 INFLUENCING DEFINED others means getting people to do things because they want to do them. others includes making people feel involved and respected, assured that they are not being manipulated, and that there is something in it for them. 31 COMMUNICATION PROCESS Acknowledge Listen to Reflect Propose Tell Ask Obtain Perspective 32 11

12 MY INFLUENCING SITUATION: the Skills of What do you need to keep in mind to obtain the other person s perspective, acknowledge what you hear, and propose your ideas/suggestions? What do you need to keep in mind relative to using the Communication Process skills? 33 PLANNING YOUR STRATEGY Situation Influence Planning Strategy the Skills of 34 INFLUENCING AND THE BALANCE OF POWER 35 12

13 POWER AND INFLUENCE: TYPES OF POWER Legitimate Referent Expert/Personal Information Reward Coercive 36 POWER AND INFLUENCE: CURRENCIES OF EXCHANGE Inspiration Vision Excellence Moral/Ethical Correctness Task New Resources Challenge Learning Assistance Support Rapid Response Information Relationship Support Acceptance Position Recognition Visibility Reputation Contacts Importance (insider) Personal Gratitude Self-Achievement Ownership/Involvement 37 INFLUENCING AND THE BALANCE OF POWER At your table, discuss what adjustments might need to be made (perspective, acknowledge, and propose) when trying to influence those with: More power or authority than us Equal power or authority to us Less power or authority than us 38 13

14 HOW WE USE OUR ENERGY TO INFLUENCE OTHERS Push Pull Tell people what we think; try to persuade them by giving reasons and information that is convincing Seek and emphasize areas of common ground and agreement Move-Away Either a temporary disengagement from an interaction or the decision to avoid an issue altogether 39 How Do Push, Pull, and Move-Away Actions Relate to the Communication Process? Listen to Reflect PULL Move Away PUSH Tell Ask 40 USING PUSH When you have a specific agenda, such as wanting someone else to change or act in a specific way, to make a decision you want made, or to take action on your behalf, you are using Push

15 USING PULL When you seek, emphasize, and show your excitement about common ground, you are using Pull. 42 USING MOVE-AWAY When you disengage, avoid, or observe, you are using Move-Away. 43 TYPES OF MOVE-AWAY BEHAVIORS Disengage Step back from an unproductive situation or pause to observe before deciding on action; buys time Avoid Ignore irrelevant responses or avoid being distracted by tangent issues; maintains focus on main issue Observe Look for patterns and impact on others 44 15

16 EXAMPLES OF USING PUSH 1. Advance your ideas, suggestions, and recommendations 2. Use reason, logic, and data to make a persuasive case 3. Disagree with others ideas or casting doubt on their position 4. State expectations 5. Offer incentives or naming negative consequences 45 EXAMPLES OF USING PULL 1. Involve others to develop proposals, ideas, and so on 2. Encourage people to elaborate 3. Summarize for understanding or to emphasize common ground 4. Point to shared values or shared goals 5. Share your view of exciting possibilities or ideal outcomes 46 EXAMPLES OF USING MOVE-AWAY 1. Postpone or reschedule 2. Take a break or step back from the discussion 3. Let sarcastic remarks, side issues, or distractions go by without responding 4. Change the subject or use humor to relieve stress 47 16

17 MY INFLUENCING SITUATION: Planning Strategy What will you say during the first 60 seconds? What is the balance of power? Push/Pull/ Move Away? 48 ACTION PLAN What do you want to commit to do more of and less of as a result of this session? More of Less of How? By when? How? By when? 49 Thank you Marilyn Gorman marilyn@gormangroup.info 17