The Art of Self-Love. Exercises to Strengthen Your Relationship with You

Transcription

1 The Art of Self-Love Exercises to Strengthen Your Relationship with You

2 Table of Contents Introduction Defining Love Loving Your Body Loving Your Mind Loving Your Emotions Loving the Moment pg 03 pg 06 pg 09 pg 11 pg 13 pg 15 2

3 Introduction Why does self-love matter? 3

4 Welcome! What an honor it is to have your time and attention. Your decision to give this a look-see says quite a lot about you. Interest in self-love is a powerful human trait that s tricky to embody, let alone learn about. Please know that participating in the following exercises does not mean you already don t love yourself. In fact, the very essence of taking action toward self-love automatically proves that the self-love is present! Get it? In fact, people who love self-love are always looking for new and more fun ways to embody more self-love. Self-love is an infinite energy source and can be accessed and unlocked in an innumerable amount of ways. Sometimes it can be easy to get caught in the guise that self-love is just another ego trip. It can seem selfish and it can seem almost arrogant to some. Let s clarify this by offering a few parallels to self-love: Self Care, Self Value, Self Growth, Self Help,...to name a few. These are all forms of self-love. Why do you exercise, sleep, eat or have fun? Because you are YOU, and it s pretty awesome being you! You do these things to not only maintain, but also to build upon who you are. That s why often when we re not feeling too hot and awesome, sleep, eating, exercise and fun start to seem like worthless tasks. Because why take care of and build upon a sense of self that s not feeling too amazing in the moment? Thankfully, we can all agree these moments always pass and, ultimately, it is natural for life and its energies to ebb and flow. 4

5 If you re still with us, we already know you are the type of person who is committed to or at least has a serious interest in living a good life, ultimately taking steps whenever you can to become a better version of yourself. Loving yourself can be the key to unlock any door, to get past any obstacle and to continually fuel yourself along this often confusing and mysterious journey of life. No matter what life brings you, at the end of the day, you have you. You will never lose you. So your relationship with you should always be your #1 priority. Let s be honest, we ve all experienced a time were we are down and out and couldn t seem to stop thinking negative things about ourselves. In this state of mind, it s hard to acknowledge the loving kindness available to us at every moment. In other words, we are often the ones getting in our own way. And the more we can cultivate an authentically loving, compassionate, understanding and empowering relationship with our self, the more invincible we become no matter what life looks like on the outside, or on the inside. Modernly, it s been discovered that embodying a state of self-love has a chemical effect in the body, increasing serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin levels (the feel good/ inspiration hormones), as well as stabilizing your metabolism, balancing blood flow, increasing libido and ultimately sending healthy electrochemical signals to all of the cells in your body! Self-love has been the #1 most profound lesson on my personal life journey and my intention is that by sharing what I have learned in a clear and actionable format, you will have the opportunity to dive deeper into your greatest self and path of love that gets you there. The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I m not going to let myself pull me down anymore. C. JoyBell C. 5

6 Defining Love Let s get clear about a few concepts. 6

7 What Does Love Mean? Love is truly infinite and means many different things depending on who you ask. Some find love to be a romantic connection between two people. Some find love to be an internal sense of passion for something they hold dear. Some find love to be their pet, their car, their shoes, their garden and the like. Some say love is God, Source, The Almighty. Some say love is simply a neurological process stimulated by the environment. All of these are true! Why? Because love is love! Love, by it s very nature, establishes the rule that no matter what you say love is, love will love you for that. There is no wrong answer when it comes to love. So before we move any further, let s stake our claim. What is Love to you? Exercise 1 List feelings, experiences, actions, tastes, smells, people, places, things, what ever comes to mind. This will be helpful moving forward. The most powerful relationship you will ever have is the relationship with yourself. Steve Maraboli 7

8 What is the Self to You? Exercise 2 This is a fun one: Let s define the self. Makes sense that if we re trying to love ourselves, knowing what that is might come in handy. Thankfully, this is a question philosophers, mystics and common folk alike have been asking since the beginning of time. Instead of falling into a sense of overwhelm or mystery, lets stick with what is obvious, what is present and most importantly,what we can actually work with. Moving forward, we will address many different aspects of the self. By giving the time and attention to each different dynamic of our intricate nature, we can be fully honoring of all of who we are. If we are activating self-love in our life, there s no reason to leave anything out! Truly loving yourself means loving all of who you are, even the parts of you that so clearly need to be let go of or totally upgraded. We can assure you that love is a foundational dynamic that is 100% necessary when it comes to making these kinds of changes. I think the most important thing in life is self-love, because if you don t have self-love, and respect for everything about your own body, your own soul, your own capsule, then how can you have an authentic relationship with anyone else? Shailene Woodley 8

9 Loving Your Body Your body is the storehouse of all your wisdom and power. 9

10 Your body is right here, right now. It is never not with you. Although it s an easy one to be aware of, it can often be one of the hardest things to love. The deeper and more openly you occupy your body, the more energy, joy and inspiration you can access. There s no escaping the body you re in, so we re left with only one option: Accept & Grow. Consider what your body does for you. You don t put a single ounce of effort into beating your heart, breathing, digesting food, storing memories, fighting off viruses, not to mention the trillions and trillions of cellular processes happening every second. Thanks to this glorious human suit of yours you are actually able to experience reality. We can t think of a single thing that deserves more love and respect. You go, body! Body Love Exercise 1 Make a list of all the things you love about your body. Your attributes, your abilities, your uniqueness. Also consider less obvious things like the ones I mentioned above. Don t you love that your body carries out the 1,000+ step process that happens when you taste a bite of chocolate? Or listens to your favorite music? You are not doing any of that, your body is, automatically and without question. Body Love Exercise 2 For this exercise, make a list of all of the things that you love that your body is becoming! Stronger? More flexible? Deeper breathing? Better posture? Next to each body potential, note at least one thing you can do to take action on making this potential more and more actualized everyday. Self-love is the source of all our other loves. Pierre Corneille 10

11 Loving Your Mind Finding a supportive and empowering state-of-mind. 11

12 The mind can seem like a tricky one, because almost always when you are not feeling loved or are even giving yourself a hard time, it is through the mind. Self-talk is a vital component of self-love and it s essential that when you are thinking you are sticking to an empowered and supportive frame of mind. Just acknowledge for a moment how genius you are! Your mind has offered you endless inspiration, aspirations, confidence and joy. Yes, sometimes it s totally a brat, but hey, we are always doing the best we can. Let s give the mind some love. Mind Love Exercise 1 Make a list of the types of thoughts and mindsets you feel like you experience the most regularly. Take note of where more love can be added! Don t be afraid to make a few adjustments to your self-talk. Did you know that your consistent thought patterns are actually the result of physical neuron connections in your brain? There s a saying that the neurons that fire together, wire together. Simply put, this means that science has proven that when you stay consistent with empowered, loving thinking from an authentic place, your brain will actually re-wire itself to make that kind of thinking your default. Mind Love Exercise 2 Make a list of ten phrases that you would love to have hard-wired into your brain. Take some time and really consider this: What are the things you really need to hear? Instead of expecting or relying on it to come from anywhere else, lets love ourselves so much that we show up for ourselves in the way we need it most. Our personal favorite is the phrase. You Got This! Often, that s all we need to hear to get us out of a funk. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world. Lucille Ball 12

13 Loving Your Emotions There s a reason why they re there and feel the way they do. 13

14 If an emotion is nagging at your attention, that means that if you actually gave it your undivided presence and understanding, it would teach you something. Almost always, emotions are teaching us one of two things: Hey! That s awesome, that works for me, I like that. or Hey! That sucks, that doesn t work for me, I don t like that. Consider your emotions like GPS. Your emotional guidance system is always honestly telling you what s up. But we have to take the time to feel and notice our emotions in the present moment to follow the GPS. When you feel good, keep going! When you feel bad, get present and don t be afraid, there is wisdom to be found. In fact, love is the emotion that decodes the GPS for you. When you can meet whatever emotion that arises with love, you can extract the wisdom from your experience and actually grow, instead of experiencing the same emotional patterns. Emotion Love Exercise Make a list of the emotions you often feel that you know could be met with a deeper sense of love. Get clear on what is actually causing these emotions in your life and understand that only through an embodied state of love can you actually address whatever obstacles are ahead and not stay stuck in any emotional funk. A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval. Mark Twain 14

15 Loving the Moment Your past, present and future self are all deserving of your love. 15

16 Now we re clear that in a practical sense, we are our bodies, our minds, and our emotions. Let s take it one step further and acknowledge another practical aspect of reality. As much as we are in the here and now, it seems impossible at times to not be emotionally stuck in the past, or mentally stuck in the future. So let s love that. Alan Watts reveals a profound truth, explaining that the past and the future are Present Moment Experiences. You are never not in the present moment. Even if you are dreading the future or can t stop thinking about a past experience, that is always happening here and now. So let s take a breath and move forward with this understanding. Like we clarified with our emotions, if something is not feeling in alignment in the now, it means there is wisdom there and there s something to reflect and learn from. When we take the time to love ourselves through a past regret or potential future mishap, we re able to understand the lesson at hand and adapt accordingly. If the past is still tugging at you, good. Go listen to what it has to say, but listen with love and you will actually hear it. If the potential future is stressing you out, good. Love yourself enough to realize it s stressing you out because you know what is best for you and you want it to go your way. So again, love yourself enough to take action to make it so. What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. Ralph Waldo Emerson 16

17 Love the Past Exercise Give yourself some time to love your past. Truly. It s already done. It will never happen again. Every single human has gone through tragedy, loss, pain and regret. With love, we can learn and grow from these experiences. Write out in detail the things that may still be bothering you. Until you value yourself, you won t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck Next, write a letter of love to each one of those experiences, thanking it for what it is teaching you. Loving the Future Exercise The future is up to you. Love yourself enough to really make that true. Prove it to yourself. No one else is going to do it for you. Make a list of the highlights of the future you know deep down you are creating. Next to each attribute of this desired future, write down the ways in which you know you will need to love yourself in order to make that happen. Some examples might be: not taking on too much, creating a better daily routine, reaching out to close friends more often, taking courageous chances, saying that one thing to that one person you ve always wanted to say, taking more naps, or taking fewer naps. These are all self-love in action. Make it happen. Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one s definition of your life, but define yourself. Harvey Fierstein 17

18 Loving Presence The absolute truth is that self-love is always and only here and now. Even as you are reading this, you could decide to breathe a little deeper, sit a little straighter and acknowledge and let in the beauty around you. That s really how it works. Self-love is a day-to-day, moment-tomoment practice that all revolves around you simply listening to what you know you truly need, and making sure you get it. We can promise you that if you really take the time to do the exercises in this book, you will have a fresh perspective on the ways in which you can show up for yourself that much more and really create a new standard of energy, inspiration and joy for yourself. Now make it happen! Day by day, moment by moment. One I love you at a time. Self-love is no mystery. If it feels good, supports your growth and doesn t get in the way of anyone or anything else, do it. Every day. Self-love is often about permission. So let me ask you. Who do you need permission from to love yourself more? Whether you realized it or not, you gave yourself permission the moment you decided to read this. So congrats! YOU GOT THIS! With love, 18