The Art, Skill & Practice of Professional Coaching

Size: px

Start display at page:

Download "The Art, Skill & Practice of Professional Coaching"

Teresa Mills
5 years ago
Views:

1 Module 2: Foundational Principles of Coaching Lesson 2 Teaching 2: Influence: Building Rapport to Connect (Pt.2) Program

2 Instructions This journal/workbook is an integral part of your learning experience. Eye to hand coordination, coupled with focused attention and active listening, accelerates and intensifies the learning process. Complete each section, be it text or graphical, and make notes on what you are observing. This record will provide an invaluable source of reference for you both now and in the future. Building Rapport: Physiology 1. There are main processes within rapport building within physiology: there s, and. 2. is where you the other person s with your own. If you have your right arm raised, and I had my right arm raised, I d be matching you. 3. If you had your arm raised and I had my arm raised then I d become a image of you, hence the term mirroring is specifically used to be in rapport with someone who is in a you wouldn t want to be in yourself (such as anger, anxiety or negativity). Page 2

3 5. You a particular part of your body with a part of the participants body. Milton Erikson used to cross the breathing pattern of his patients with the rise and fall of a finger or tapping of his foot. 6. What can we match and mirror? Firstly there s. 7. We can also match and mirror expressions. 8. Finally there s matching the other person s. Social Observation Exercise: To deepen your learning on rapport, I want to recommend you conduct a social observation exercise. When you re out and about take time to observe people at work, on the train, in your local Starbucks, at a restaurant or out having a drink with friends, just take a few minutes to observe people in your environment and highlight those who are in rapport and those who are out of rapport.. For example, if you re in a bar and a couple of guys are having a beer, notice how much in rapport they are. Notice how they raise their glasses to drink in unison, they move at the same time, stand with the same posture. If you re out having a meal, look at couple who are in rapport, they eat at the same time, drink at the same time, occasionally you can even see when someone s said something the other disagrees with, you don t need to hear what s said, you ll see it in the physiology. You ll then see them go through the unconscious dance of reestablishing rapport as their bodies and gestures begin to match, mirror and cross-mirror again it s fascinating to observe. Page 3

4 So begin to notice different levels of rapport going on in the physiology that surrounds you all the time. Notice when it s there and when it s not. 9. How do you know if you re in rapport with someone? There are main indicators of rapport. 1: The first is. 2: Then there are changes in. 3: A person the rapport. 4. Finally, there s. Techniques within NLP refer to,, and. Once rapport is established you can then begin to the other person, subtly moving your physiology and notice if, a few seconds later, the other person moves to stay in rapport with you. 10. Voice tonality: when your first contact with someone is via the telephone the %of communication from physiology is missing, meaning % of the meaning of the communication is voice tonality and 16% is the words. 11. What can we match in someone s voice? First of all there is, or what some might call the of the voice. Page 4

5 12. Then there s or. 13. Next is the or of the voice. 14. So when looking to match people s voice tonality, use your imagination to decipher where you think their voice is originating from, and then move your voice to the same place. 15. Words: Whilst only % of our communication, we can still use words effectively to build rapport. 16. Predicates: Everyone has certain systems, a preference of how they process information and a preferred means of communication. 17. Representational systems are (sight), (hearing), (feeling), and (internal hearing). 18. It s valuable to be aware of a person dominant representational system because the person we re looking to build rapport with will naturally use a lot of words based upon whichever representational system is dominant for them: these are called. Page 5

6 19. Keywords: These are hot words or phrases that people use on a frequent or regular basis, for example, abbreviating sentences with like (I was like in the park and I sat this guy who was like really cool ). By certain phrases we are building rapport with the other person. 20. Another way of building rapport is common and. 21. There are also similarities in and beliefs. 22. Finally, there are chunks, how much information people place in segmented parts of their conversation. 23. Definition of influence: influence is not helping another person to understand and adopt your truth, it s helping another person to understand and adopt his or her own. Congratulations! You are at the end of the teaching! Take 10 minutes straight away to reflect, evaluate and record your learning points from this lesson. Notes: Page 6

7 Notes (Continued): Page 7

The Art, Skill & Practice of Professional Coaching

The Art, Skill & Practice of Professional Coaching Module 2: Foundational Principles of Coaching Lesson 4 Teaching 1 The Presuppositions of Professional Coaching (Pt: 1) Program Instructions This journal/workbook is an integral part of your learning experience.