Survival of the Kindest: Towards a Compassionate Society

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1 Survival of the Kindest: Towards a Compassionate Society Dacher Keltner University of California, Berkeley keltner@berkeley.edu

2 SYMPATHY BREAKTHROUGHS (JONATHAN GLOVER, HUMANITY) George Orwell Miklos Nyiszli 75% of soldiers refuse to shoot at enemy

3 AN EVOLUTIONARY CONUNDRUM & PARTING OF WAYS Russel-Wallace: Sympathy created by God Thomas Huxley: Sympathy is a cultural construction

4 DARWIN: SURVIVAL OF THE KINDEST Darwin argued that sympathy will have been increased through natural selection; for those communities, which included the greatest number of the most sympathetic members, would flourish best, and rear the greatest number of offspring (Darwin, 1871/2004, p.130).

5 TAKE CARE OR DIE

6 A RELIABLE SIGNAL OF COMPASSION: IT S NOT IN THE FACE

7 THE VOCAL REGISTER OF COMPASSION Diagram of oral cavity, nasal cavity, and larynx

8 VOCAL BURSTS OF POSITIVE EMOTION (Simon-Thomas et al., 2009)

9 VIRAL GOODNESS: THE SPREAD OF COMPASSION Neonate distress cries Emotional, Physiological Convergence in Friends Compassion inspires elevation Generosity spreads through networks (Fowler & Cristakis) Altruism increased in altruistic clusters Collective Joys

10 TACTILE CONTACT: THE 1ST LANGUAGE OF COMPASSION Diagram of the hand and wrist Diagram of the skin

11 TOUCH Rewards Builds Trust Signals Safety Soothes

12 TOUCH AND THE SPREAD OF GOODNESS Emotion and Touch Frequency Choosing Correct Emotion Compassion Gratitude Love Anger Fear Disgust Correct Label Next choice

13 THE PROSOCIAL NERVOUS SYSTEM Oxytocin and Trust % Who Give Away Maximum Oxytocin Control

14 ARC OF HISTORY: JUSTICE AND COMPASSION Continuing the trend towards less harm Reductions in bullying, torture, rape, death in war, murder, assault (Steve Pinker, 2012)

15 TAKE A BREATH Nirvana = breathe out Yogic practices, meditation: start with breath Breathe in, out counting to six, 21 times Changes in vagal tone, reductions in anxiety

16 BUDDHISM If you want others to be happy, practice compassion; if you want to be happy practice compassion - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

17 KINDNESS IN THE WISEDOM OF THE AGES A person of jen, Confucius observes, wishing to establish his own character, also establishes the character of others. brings the good things of others to completion and does not bring the bad things of others to completion. If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama

18 PRACTICE KINDNESS TOWARDS SELF AND OTHERS Loving Kindness: Wish for happiness of two people every day (for one minute) We all suffer, experience pain, extend kindness to others Self-Compassion (Kristin Neff) Loving Kindness improves: Brain function (left hemispheric activity) Immune system function Vagal tone

19 GRATITUDE Reverence for what has been given to you Gratitude diaries, reflections, letters, kind speech McCullough: Written accounting of gratitude, better health three weeks later Lyubomirsky: Once a week write down what you re grateful for, it boosts happiness

20 EMERSON: AWE AND COMPASSION In the woods, we return to reason and faith. There I feel that nothing can befall me in life-- no disgrace, no calamity (leaving me my eyes), which nature cannot repair. Standing on the bare ground, my head bathed by the blithe air and uplifted into infinite space, all mean egotism vanishes. I become a transparent eyeball; I am nothing; I see all; the currents of the Universal Being circulate through me; I am part or parcel of God. The name of the nearest friend sounds then foreign and accidental; to be brothers, to be acquaintances, master or servant, is then a trifle and a disturbance. I am the lover of uncontained and immortal beauty. Nature (1836/1982), p.39

21 d =.52 Pens Self-importance Entitlement Taking money

22 Awe, vastness virtuous behavior d =.58 d =.88 d =.86 d =.45

23 Coding Touch

24 PRACTICE KINDNESS If any civilization is to survive, it is the morality of altruism that men have to reject. - Ayn Rand If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. - The Dalai Lama 0.25 Change in happiness from morning Give to others Spend on self Giving away $20 if more rewarding than spending $20 on oneself -0.2

25 THANK YOU! greatergood.berkeley.edu

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