Sexual Relationships. Sexual Relationships. Tuesday April 3, Session Five:
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1 Tuesday April 3, Session Five: 8:00 am 10:00 am Sexual Relationships Attachment in Romantic Relationships Sexual Desire Sexual Satisfaction Keeping Sexual Health Agreements o Solo sex o Partnered sex Breaking Sexual Health Agreements o Extradyadic Sex Couples Sex Therapy o Desire Discrepancy o Erotic conflicts with self o Erotic conflicts with couples Sexual Relationships Fundamental questions about how sexual feelings, thoughts, and behaviors shape the development and maintenance of ongoing romantic relationships remain unanswered (p. 269) Sexual Relationships The literature on sexuality in relationship contexts has been pervaded by a focus on risk prevention and avoidance (p. 269)
2 Sexual Relationships Risks and Rewards Gender Diversity Formation and Development Attraction Maintenance Sexual Relationships Risks Risks for most people.negative consequences from engaging in sex.level of satisfaction. broad range of sexual activities. maintaining lifespan satisfaction. happiness and satisfaction shaped by sexuality Sexual Relationships Rewards Most people.want to engage in sex.are moderately or highly satisfied with sexual relationship..derive great pleasure from broad range of sexual activities.maintain this satisfaction across the lifespan.sexuality is key factor in shaping happiness and satisfaction
3 Gender Diversity Sex and Attachment Most research.focused on male-female differences.tendency for women to emphasize relationship and commitment context for sexuality.tendency for men to separate sexuality from love and commitment.sociosexual Orientation: level of permissive attitudes, preferences and behaviors towards casual sex. Gender and Sexual Desire Most research.indicate men tending to show more interest in sex than women.women rate strength of sex drive lower throughout the life span..sexual frequency typically a compromise between differing levels of desire of the partners...differences more pronounced in solosex and new partners. Sexual Fluidity/Erotic Plasticity Defined: Extent that a person s individual sexual beliefs and behaviors can be altered by cultural, social and situational factors..women have lower consistency between sexual attitudes and their behaviors compared to men..in ongoing relationships women are twice as likely as men to report engaging in undesired sex..women, more than men, are likely to change their sexual preferences and interest over time.
4 Sexual Attraction Four top traits preferred in long-term partner 1. dependability 2. emotional stability 3. pleasing disposition 4. mutual attraction and love Attachment Couples who stay together beyond the initial attraction phase develop attachment bonds..attachment related differences have implications for the maintenance of relationships..attachment and sexual system influence one another and contribute to the quality and stability of the relationship. Desire Discrepancy Conceptualize sexual desire as how it relates to the partners desire and discrepancy as a between partner difference..desire does not inevitably wane over the course of a relationship. (limerence becomes romance)
5 Sexual Satisfaction Defined: the extent people are satisfied and happy with their sexual experiences..contributes to quality of ongoing romantic relationships and overall health and well-being...sexual and romantic relationship satisfaction are closely linked throughout the life span. 1. reward and costs. 2. perception of equity and equality. 3. comparison of expectations and experience. Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Sensate Focus:..Mindfulness for touch..involves meditation, or intentional focusing on something specific..intentional focus on touch, without expectations, judgment, or pressure...can teach a person how to be in their body experiencing, rather than in their head spectatoring. Spectatoring inhibits arousal and orgasm. Weiner, L., & Avery-Clark, C. (2017). Sensate focus in sex therapy: The illustrated manual. New York, NY: Routledge. Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Sensate Focus:..non-demand touching, which means you are touching with no particular outcome or expectation in mind..you are touching for yourself, with a sense of curiosity and exploration about your partner s (or your own) body...temperature (warm/cool), pressure (hard/ soft), and texture (smooth/rough). used by sex therapists for over 50 years Weiner, L., & Avery-Clark, C. (2017). Sensate focus in sex therapy: The illustrated manual. New York, NY: Routledge.
6 Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Recovering your sex drive with Sensate Focus Mindful Touching Techniques Weiner, L., & Avery-Clark, C. (2017). Sensate focus in sex therapy: The illustrated manual. New York, NY: Routledge. Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Sensate Focus Exercise: Head Caress Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Sensate Focus Exercise: Body Caress
7 Sensate Focus in Sex Therapy Sensate Focus Exercise: Genital Caress Breaking Sexual Relationship Agreements Survey: the extent people are satisfied and happy with their sexual experiences..demographics: low religiosity, more educated, higher income, data is less clear about gender, race...interpersonal: low relationship quality, sexual unavailability during pregnancy, high quality alternatives, time away from partner, relationship dissatisfaction, relationship dissolution most common outcome Breaking Sexual Relationship Agreements An affair is one story that is experienced by two (or more) people in completely different ways. Perel, E., (2018), The State of Affairs. Harper, NY, NY.
8 Breaking Sexual Relationship Agreements Adultery is too wide-spread and varied to be narrowly labeled. Whatever your personal reactions and experiences, therapists must make room for empathy and complexity. Perel, E., (2018), The State of Affairs. Harper, NY, NY. Breaking Sexual Relationship Agreements The rush to divorce makes no allowance for error, for human fragility. It also makes no allowance for repair, resilience, and recovery. And it makes no allowance for people who want to learn and grow from an affair Perel, E., (2018), The State of Affairs. Harper, NY, NY. Tuesday April 3, Session Six: 10:15 am -12:15 pm Sexual Trauma in Therapy: Al Killen-Harvey, LCSW and Robin Lamb, Children s Hospital of Westmead, Sydney, NSW, Australia Trauma Terminology/Statistics Disclosure Issues Effects on child and family members Comprehensive Assessment and Treatment Forensic Medical Exam and sexuality Experiential exercises in trauma treatment 12:15 pm 12:30 pm Group Discussion
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