FRIENDLY NOT FRIENDS. Kama Oyeshiku-King & Karen Gibbs-Love

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1 FRIENDLY NOT FRIENDS Kama Oyeshiku-King & Karen Gibbs-Love 1

2 Kama Oyeshiku-King, MSG Kama has been in the field of gerontology for over 30 years. Studying at Hampton University and the University of Southern California, Kama has dedicated her life and profession to helping seniors and advocating on behalf of this population. Kama has worked in various fields in Gerontology including positions at the Alzheimer s Association, SCAN Health Plan, City of Los Angeles Department of Aging, and BrownRichards & Associates EAP. She has also worked as a Service Coordinator (including supervisor and grant writing) for the last 15 years. Kama was a member of the 2016 AASC Conference planning committee. She is a member of AASC and Leading AGE Georgia. 2

3 Karen Gibbs-Love, MSG Karen is a Resident Wellness Director at Western Seniors Housing Management in Southern California. She has been in the field of Aging for over 20 years, studying at the University of Detroit Mercy and later at California State University Fullerton. Karen has worked in Senior Housing as a Service Coordinator for over 10 years, gaining a profound appreciation for the wide range of obstacles and opportunities awaiting most seniors. She has focused on developing practical approaches to empower seniors in the areas of self-determination, education, health, and wellness. Karen was co-presenter at the AASC Conference in Dallas, TX in 2014 and is a member of both AASC and Leading Age California. 3

4 Kama Oyeshiku-King, MSG Kama-C. Oyeshiku-King Service Coordinator Briarcliff Oaks 2982 Briarcliff Road, NE Atlanta, GA (phone) (fax) 4

5 Karen Gibbs-Love, MSG Resident Wellness Director Our Lady of Guadalupe Magnolia Street Fountain, Valley, CA (phone) (fax) 5

6 Learning Objectives Tools to assist you in being friendly and not friends with your residents. Understand how to provide help without crossing boundaries. Knowing your company s polices. What to do when you cross into the friend zone. How to treat each resident in a fair and friendly manner. How to build trust with your residents. 6

7 Is it okay to hug and or kiss our residents? Can this be misconstrued the wrong way? What does this have to do with being friendly not friends? 7

8 Friendly not Friends can be a hard concept to grasp. We want to be friendly to our residents. Being friendly is easy. Can be misinterpreted as a true friendship. Being friends with residents can be a recipe for disaster! 8

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10 The upside of friendly not friends. It makes our job easier by setting boundaries. We can serve our residents in a more fair and honest way. Our residents are clear on what we can and will do to assist them. The professional relationship remains professional. 10

11 The downside of friends not friendly. It can blur the lines in our daily tasks. It can show favoritism to the residents we serve. They will think they deserve to be treated special. The professional relationship becomes more casual. 11

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13 How do we set boundaries with the population we serve? 13

14 Setting Boundaries 101 Learn how to say no in a clear and concise way. Make sure you address residents in a professional way. (Mr., Ms., or Mrs., unless asked otherwise). Make a conscious decision to treat each resident in a fair manner. 14

15 Can I be friends with residents and have boundaries at the same time? 15

16 Have these situations happened to you? Can I have a ride? Can I borrow a few dollars? Can I use your phone (personal) to call my relative? Please take these few dollars I know you need them for? The other staff did it, why can t you? I won t tell anyone just remember me next time? 16

17 I friended you How do you deal with residents on social media wanting to friend you? Is it ever OK? 17

18 Have you gone too far? 18

19 Do you need to reel it back in? Ask yourself this.. When did I cross the line? How did this happen? Will other residents/staff notice? How can I pull back? 19

20 WHAT DO YOU THINK? CAN BEING FAIR, FRIENDLY, AND FRIENDS CO-EXIST? 20

21 Can you build trust with your residents without being friends? content/uploads/2016/02/consistency-trust- Stock-Image jpg 21

22 How can we be friendly to those who speak another language? 22

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24 If all else fails check your employee handbook and HUD guidelines! What are your companies polices on boundaries? What are the HUD guidelines? 24

25 Reference & Resources (Can caregivers be friends with residents?) (Why you can t be friends with your patients) (Why your counselor is not your friend) Tips to create healthy boundaries) AASC Program Manual for Service Coordinators: Section 2: Safety, Self Care and Risk Avoidance for SC s & Gifts Offered From Residents. 25

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27 QUESTIONS & DISCUSSION 27