City of Madison. Women s Leadership Series. DAY 5: October 07, 2015 Career Management and Self-Care. CHOICES Coaching & Consulting Krista R.

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1 City of Madison Women s Leadership Series DAY 5: October 07, 2015 Career Management and Self-Care Krista R. Morrissey

2 Change Success Failing Awareness

3 DAY 5 - AGENDA Vulnerability, Courage, Shame and Owning It Networking Deflecting Self-Reflection My Hierarchy of Needs Social Constructionism Core Mining Who are you? None of My Business So What? Now What? I Was Here!

4 VULNERABILITY Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of the light. Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection

5 COR The Latin word for heart To speak one s mind by telling all one s heart. Speak honestly and openly about: Who you are What you are feeling Your experiences Putting your vulnerability out there for the world to see!

6 Your Level of Vulnerability Your Level of Courage The Impact of a Small Change

7 Shame keeps worthiness away by convincing us that owning our stories will lead to people thinking less of us. Shame is all about fear. ~ Brene Brown The Gifts of Imperfection ~ Fear is all about our inner circle. ~ Krista Morrissey ~

8 OWN IT! Your Behavior Your Growth Your Leadership Your Confidence Your Success Relationship Management The first relationship you need to manage is your relationship with yourself. The most important person you ll ever talk to is you. Be careful what you say. ~ Krista Morrissey ~ ~ John Maxwell ~

9 DIG DEEP! HONOR YOU!

10 Networking

11 DEFLECTING SELF-REFLECTION Magic Pill, Tools, Direction, Answers Nothing changes unless you are open to change A. Not matured to self-reflection B. Not yet open to understanding self C. Understand self but won t own it scared of what I see D. Understand self but don t like what I see deflect ownership

12 STARTS WITH TRUST & CREDIBILITY Discover Thy Self Know Thy Self Grow Thy Self Lead Thy Self Comfortable Consistency Integrity Courage Vulnerability Authenticity Self-Acceptance Internal Confidence External Confidence

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16 PUT Logo Here

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18 LEADERSHIP LEADERSHIP IS NOT A TITLE OR A POSITION, LEADERSHIP IS IN THE HEAD AND THE HEART Every decision we make is tested inside our bodies! We have no idea how many lives we impact by our words and our actions.

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20 Self- Actualization Self Esteem Morality, Creativity, Experience, Purpose, Spontaneity, Experience Meaning and Inner Potential Confidence, Achievement, Respect of Others, The Need to Be A Unique Individual Belonging Friendship, Family, Intimacy, Sense Connection Safety Health, Employment, Property, Family, Social Stability Physiological Breathing, Food, Water, Shelter, Clothing Source: Abraham Maslow

21 Identify Your Voids - Specifically Pair and Share

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23 LIVE INTENTIONALLY Where you are is where you are meant to be in your journey. There is a lesson to learn or to give before you move on. Be intentional in your living Find your center power and balance School of Silence - daily

24 The School of Silence

25 THE RECIPE FOR YOU Values Values serve as guides to action. They inform our decisions as to what to do and what not to do they tell us when to say yes, or no, and help us really understand why we mean it. Construct for what you hold as important Kouzes & Posner, 2010, The Leadership Challenge Beliefs Assumed truths that root our understanding of the world Constructs for what you hold true 45

26 THE RECIPE FOR YOU Perspectives A filter through which you see the world A point of view based on previous life experiences, values and beliefs Biases Prejudice in favor or against, usually in a way considered unfair A particular tendency, inclination, feeling, or opinion, especially one that is preconceived or unreasoned 45

27 SOCIAL CONSTRUCTIONISM Social Constructionism makes relationship and relational practices the central theme of what is means to be human. Knowledge is communally created Personhood (self & identity) is created within relationships Language creates our world ~ The Handbook of Knowledge Based Coaching ~

28 Source: Urie Bronfenbrenner; Ecological Systems

29 Watch your thoughts for they become words. Watch your words for they become actions. Watch your actions for they become habits. Watch your habits for they become your character. And watch your character for it becomes your destiny. What we think we become. ~ The Iron Lady ~

30 Core Mining

31 WHAT IS A VALUE Who we are. Not who we would like to be, not who we think we should be, but who we are in our lives, right now. Another way to put it is that values represent our unique and individual essence, our ultimate and most fulfilling form of expressing and relating. Our values serve as a compass pointing out what it means to be true to oneself. When we honor our values on a regular and consistent basis, life is good and fulfilling. Source: Co-Active Coaching.com, 2011

32 WHERE ARE YOUR VALUES? Pull them out when they can be advantageous to you? Your Guiding Light Lost

33 VALUES Values drive behaviors Behaviors create a culture Inside the culture, your leadership creates a climate Cultures and climates attract and repel specific types of employees, clients, vendors, mates, friends, communities. What do your behaviors say? What types of people do you attract?

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35 VALUES Top 10 Top 5 Defined In Action Are your values yours or are they inherited? Where are your values rooted? The activity is created from the work of my good friend Cella Janisch-Hartline owner of Enlightened Way: New Day

36 WHO are YOU?

37 ENERGY IN ENERGY OUT

38 ENERGY IN ENERGY OUT

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40 What You Think Of Me is None Of My Business ~ Terry Cole Whittaker ~

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42 WHAT S THE CONNECTION?

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45 DAY 5 - AGENDA Vulnerability, Courage, Shame and Owning It Networking Deflecting Self-Reflection My Hierarchy of Needs Social Constructionism Core Mining Who are you? None of My Business So What? Now What? I Was Here!

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