EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: AN IMPERATIVE FOR OUR SUCCESS SESSION 4107

Transcription

1 EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: AN IMPERATIVE FOR OUR SUCCESS SESSION 4107 DR. DAVID A. RUDE CHIEF LEARNING OFFICER U.S. DEPARTMENT OF DEFENSE David Rude, 2015 Federally Employed Women NTP 2015

2 Session Objectives 2 Define Emotional Intelligence (EI) Discuss why EI is critical for effective leadership & success Discuss components of EI associated with leadership Understand what being an emotionally intelligent leader means Lay the foundation for an action plan going forward Note: Some materials contained in this briefing were adapted from Hammett (2013) EI workshop and other works, as cited Rude, D. A. (2013). Leadership and emotional intelligence: A phenomenological study on developmental experiences of effective federal government leaders. The George Washington University). ProQuest Dissertations and Theses,, 298. Retrieved from ( ).

3 Questions 3 What would you like to learn today? Why were you hired for your current job? What got you here

4 4 Besides why you were hired for this job : What else do you need as a leader? One compelling answer: Emotional Intelligence (EI) A lack of healthy EI is the #1 career de-railer of leaders at all levels People get hired for what they know they get fired for how they (don t) act Won t be all that gets you there

5 EI is an Important Foundation 5 WHEN YOU BEGAN NOW & LATER Technical Results EI Technical Results EI

6 6 And people are watching you

7 What We Need From Leaders Resilience in the face of uncertainty and complexity A Vision for what can be Active pursuit of strategies and goals Charting a path for success Making an impact without causing unnecessary waves A Balanced perspective Time for Reflection and personal growth Lasting contributions that benefit the Agency

8 Competency Gaps & Strengths 8 Largest Manager Gaps: Top 5 Manager Strengths: National Security Public Service Motivation External Awareness Joint Perspective Financial Management Question: What patterns or themes do you notice about what our leaders do well and where we have gaps? Source: 2012 DoD Civilian Leader Competency Assessment Survey

9 Litmus Test for EI 9 Not when the skies are calm But when you re flying into a storm

10 EI Definition 10 A convergence of learned abilities that facilitate: a) Accurate knowledge and value of self b) Responsible actions based on personal worth & dignity c) A variety of strong, healthy relationships d) The ability to work well with others e) Productive reactions to the demands and pressures of everyday life and work Emotional intelligence is the learned ability to think constructively and act wisely Note: Adapted from Nelson, D.B., & Low, G.R. (Ed.). (2011). Emotional intelligence: Achieving academic and career excellence (2nd ed.). Kingsville, TX.

11 Question 11 What do you think of when you hear someone described as emotional? Emotions can get a bad rap

12 Primary Emotions 12 Love Enjoyment Surprise Disgust Shame Fear Anger Sadness Note: Adapted from Goleman, D. (1998). Working with emotional intelligence. New York: Bantam Books. Emotions take several forms

13 13 Emotional self control: It s harder than it may appear Emotionally Reactive Emotionally Reflective Negative Reactive Self-doubting Shuts down Interpersonal problems Indecisive Lacks Initiative Pessimistic Deficit focused Fragile Defensive Unhappy Dissatisfied Self Awareness: Explore thoughts & emotions Self Development: Learn to think constructively NOTE: Adapted from Professional Coaching: A Transformative and Research Based Model, D.B. Nelson, G.R. Low, R. Hammett, & A. Sen (2013), EI Learning Systems: Texas Self Assessment: Identify & label emotions Emotionally intelligent behavior Positive Self-manager Active Optimistic Strength Focused Gets along w/others Resilient Positive influence Flexible Decisive Fulfilled Motivated Engaged

14 Respond vs. React 14 Domain Pace of Action Pace of Change Cognition SLOW to act (need time to think) FAST to change (neurons firing) Emotion FAST to act (e.g., fight or flight) SLOW to change (emotional habits hard to ) As leaders, we want to RESPOND, not REACT, whenever the situation allows. This is complicated by having to think and feel through myriad, complex, and oftentimes competing circumstances. The joys of leadership

15 Emotional Intelligence is 15 A model for healthy change A learned ability to think constructively and act wisely A reflective process Intelligent self-direction What enables you to think and feel before responding, rather than knee-jerk reacting

16 An Unhelpful Sequence: REACT 16 Event Mary did not say Hello Thought Mary is a snob Destructive Sequence Secondary Mental Reaction Mary thinks she s better than me I ll show her what that feels like! Behavior Develops antagonistic relationship with Mary Emotion Anger Emotion Increase in anger

17 A Constructive Sequence: RESPOND 17 Emotion Puzzlement Emotion Sympathy Warmth Thought Mary is Preoccupied Secondary Mental Reaction Maybe something s bothering Mary Behavior Maintains friendly, rewarding relationship with Mary Event Mary did not say Hello Thought Mary is a snob Emotion Anger Constructive Sequence The smallest Destructive things Sequence can make a huge Secondary Mental Reaction Behavior difference, in terms of how we are Mary thinks she s better than me Develops antagonistic I ll show her what that feels like! relationship with Mary perceived as emotionally intelligent and therefore, effective leaders Emotion Increase in anger Note: Adapted from Epstein, S. (1998). Constructive Thinking: The Key to Emotional Intelligence. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishing

18 Self-Awareness Exercise 18 Self-awareness: recognizing a feeling as it happens It Just Bubbles Up Handout Take 5-10 minutes to fill this out Pair up with a neighbor to discuss

19 19 Beyond Self-Awareness: Key EI Dimensions for Leaders Social awareness Empathy Decision making Personal leadership Let s look at each of these in turn

20 20 Social Awareness The ability to affect others positively and develop trust and rapport in relationships. Why important: leaders need to feel comfortable relating to others Leadership is social Social awareness promotes or hinders followers perceptions of your abilities to work with them

21 21 Empathy Empathy: The ability to comprehend another s feelings and re-experience them oneself. Why important: feeling better about accurately understanding others Empathy is not about you; it s about them Empathy is not just walking in their shoes but also considering how their situation impacts your perspective in decision making Small group activity

22 22 Small Group Activity - Empathy Form into groups of 3 Each person within the triad will have a specific role: 1 will take a self-assessment survey 1 will interview the person who took the survey 1 will observe the exchange between survey respondent and interview Once you ve settled into your groups, each person will receive a script The survey responder must complete the survey before the interview begins Take 15 minutes for this round Observers share with the other 2 what you noticed

23 23 Decision Making Typically thought of as cognitive and rational, yet Effective decisions need to consider affective elements Why important: leaders need to feel good about the choices they make Leaders need to be able to inspire others about decisions and their impacts Small group activity

24 24 Small Group Activity - Decisions Stay in same groups of 3 as before If in Empathy your role was Survey respondent Interviewer Observer Your new role is now Observer Survey respondent Interviewer Take 15 minutes for this round Observers share with the other 2 what you noticed

25 25 Personal Leadership The ability to exert positive influence through selfempowerment, interpersonal, and goal achievement skills. Why important: feeling better about yourself as a leader This is about you ample focus on you is healthy How you perceive yourself spills over into your interactions with others How you comport yourself as a leader impacts others Small group activity

26 26 Small Group Activity Personal Leadership Stay in same groups of 3 as before If in Decision Making your role was Survey respondent Interviewer Observer Your new role is now Observer Survey respondent Interviewer Take 15 minutes for this round Observers share with the other 2 what you noticed

27 When & Where EI Appears 27 s Meetings Tense situations Complex problems & tough decisions Unfamiliar surroundings In other words, virtually every way in which your leadership reputation becomes known

28 Small Group Activity (5-8 people) 28 s Meetings Tense situations Complex problems and tough decisions Unfamiliar surroundings Self-awareness Social awareness Empathy Decision making Personal leadership Working in small groups, jot down ideas of what healthy EI looks like, or how unhealthy EI appears. Examples: How do s promote EI or project unhealthy EI? How does sub-par social awareness (a key EI attribute) impact a leader s ability to influence?

29 EI: So What? 29 When you don t have a healthy EI: You become the problem People avoid working with you Willing followers are scarce Your motives get questioned Decisions get made around you Conflicts manage you (rather than the other way around) Your reputation becomes tarnished (remember: your reputation precedes you) Any other implications that come to mind?

30 Practical Tips for Honing Your EI 30 Take the high road Be genuine and authentic Take deep breaths Take the time to reflect & journal Ask for feedback Practical Tips Share your stories and let others stories be shared Role model emotional intelligence Show people you care Promote an EI-friendly culture Be open to the experience! Be receptive to unsolicited feedback (there s a reason for it) Head, heart, and gut you need it all Get out of your comfort zone Watch and, if appropriate, emulate including those who work for you Perfect your commitment to EI through these tips and others you learn along the way, but don t aim for perfection

31 Going Forward 31 EI Development EI Sustainment Understand and build and sustain effective working relationships with subordinates, peers, and senior leadership Understand and apply EI within complex decision-making scenarios Understand and apply EI in tough, challenging environments Developmental tools: coaching; small group role playing scenarios; case studies; multi-rater feedback; mentoring (leader-led and peer-to-peer); accountability partner Model and apply honed EI skills Practice learned behaviors Observe/record the honed behaviors, using self-directed monitoring as well as peer feedback Developmental tools: coaching; feedback; accountability partner What are your initial thoughts for an action plan for you?

32 Final Thoughts 32 For outstanding leadership, EI counts for just about everything leadership is all about EI. Goleman,1995 Leaders must first know and be able to manage their own emotions and second be able to understand the emotions of their followers and the context in which those emotions occur. Shuck & Herd, 2011

33 Thank You! 33 David A. (Dave) Rude DoD Chief Learning Officer (Civilian Workforce)