The New Science of Emotional Connection What you understand, you can shape. Presenter Dr. Lola Gershfeld Board Dynamics Specialist March 20, 2018
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1 The New Science of Emotional Connection What you understand, you can shape. Presenter Dr. Lola Gershfeld Board Dynamics Specialist March 20, 2018
2 About Dr. Lola Gershfeld Dr. Lola Gershfeld is a Board Dynamics Specialist, and an expert in the field of board and team dynamics. She is a published author and developer of Mastering Emotional Connection Certification Programs teaching leaders, boards and teams the process of emotional connection. Dr. Gershfeld specifically works with troubled teams, boards and companies moving them into creating a more cohesive and collaborative culture, increasing effectiveness, productivity, and work relationships. Dr. Gershfeld has been dedicated to making a difference in the corporate governance on educating companies and leaders on the process of emotional connection. Creating positive dynamics is not easy when you don t have a map. The process of emotional connection provides a clear step-by-step methodology to shape work relationships in a way that creates strong bonds, improving transparency, communication and results. Dr. Gershfeld has published numerous articles on the topic of using the process of emotional connection and is the author of two books, Effective Board Dynamics Guide and TRUSTMAKERS. Her articles are published in Forbes, The Corporate Board, Industry Week, Corporate Board Member, The CEO Magazine, Chief Executive Magazine, NACD Directorship, California CEO Magazine, OC Lawyer, CGMA and Accounting Today. Dr. Gershfeld presents at conferences and conducts corporate training and certification programs. She serves on the Board of Governors at the Center Club Orange County.
3 About Level Five Executive Leadership Workshops Facilitated Sessions Board Development Team Cohesion Certification Programs We work with boards, teams and leaders helping them increase effectiveness through the process of emotional connection that creates an environment where people blossom.
4 Agenda ipartpanda.com%2fcategories%2frobot-clip-art-free&psig=aovvaw16e2evsu41gdskec5nftzh&ust=
5 Scientist Have Cracked the Code LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= Fulfilling work relationships Positive interactions Improved productivity
6 Ineffective Ways Dealing with Conflict Communication Skills Being Less Nasty Teaching People Insight
7 Emotional Dependency As adults, we have been taught that talking about emotions is bad. We should shut down our emotions and we should deal with our emotions on our own. LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust=
8 Emotional connection is an ancient, wired-in survival code.
9 Constructive Dependency I know how to reach for the people I depend on in a way that pulls them close. LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= I accept my need for emotional connection I accept my need for attachment I can regulate my emotions in a way to tune into those needs And when I pull them close, I can take-in their care and support and that actually makes me stronger.
10 Wrong Motivators In general, in western society, we've accepted the fact that the most powerful motivators in man are money and power. LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust=
11 Attachment Science There is a much more primary instinct - it is called the longing for emotional connection. Because it is a survival code. You don't get to choose that. It's wired into your mammalian brain.
12 Scientists have cracked the code to the biggest and most powerful motivational force in our brain.
13 Adult Bonding Science Studied bonding between mother and child Studied loneliness and why it is so painful Father of Attachment Theory John Bowlby Phil Shaffer What is this incredible longing? We never outgrow our need for others.
14 Dealing with Stress Emotional connection reduces cortisol, a stress hormone, and calms the nervous system, allowing the brain to function. Creating secure bonds in work relationships impacts us physiologically and emotionally.
15 Allergan Board Regain emotional balance Recharge Transparency LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= secure base Engagement empathy validation safe haven and responsiveness Explore opportunities Manage risks Addressing challenges
16 Most Basic Dance of Distress Demand Defend Complaining Distance LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= Criticizing Stonewall Because we are bonding mammals, when we shut the other person out, that is a threat, and the other person will experience it as a threat and as a danger cue, and it will simply increase their upset.
17 Distressed Relationships Communication Skills Personality Disorders Conflict Management People are struggling with moments of disconnection and the way they deal with those moments pushes people away than pulling each other close.
18 Conflict is the inflammation. The virus is emotional disconnection.
19 Be On Target with What People Need to INTERACT CONTRIBUTE COLLABORATE LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= & TO P U L L PEO P L E C LO S E R
20 Emotion of ILylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-art- free&psig=aovvaw16e2evsu41gdskec5nftzh&ust= WAY TO M P R O V E S P R O D U C T I V I T Y THE FASTEST I N C R E A S E S C O L L A B O R A T I O N CHANGE M I N I M I Z I N G W A S T E OF E F F O R T THE DANCE IS TO CHANGE THE MUSIC P R O M O T E S D E V E L O P M E N T S A V E S T I M E
21 Core Elements to Change Emotion Emotional signals How these signals lead you in secure Connection or painful chronic disconnection. It s all about emotional signals.
22 Are You There For Me? A.R.E. A C C E S S I B L E R E S P O N S I V E E N G A G E D If for the majority of the time, you get a clear answer Yes, your mammalian brain stays calm and relaxed. If you get a No or a Maybe answer, your mammalian brain goes into panic, pushing for connection or withdrawing.
23 Change occurs through a corrective emotional experience. - Franz Alexander
24 Neuroscience Research Rejection is processed in the same part as physical pain LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= Getting a rejection from someone you depend on and stepping on the nail, your brain registers them as the same, they are both danger cues.
25 Emotional Connection Allows us achieve the true potential of human abilities. 1 S T R E N G T H 2 F L E X I B I L I T Y QKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= C O N F I D E N C E 4 O P P O R T U N I T Y 5 O P E N T O R I S K S
26 Emotional Responsiveness The main element that defines a secure bond is emotional responsiveness. Being able to reach somebody emotionally Trust that you can engage with them when you need them That they will be there for you.
27 Ed Tronic - Still Face Experiment The reaction is exactly the same whether you are one year old or 30 years old or 50 years old or 90 years old because the brain is wired for bonding.
28 Reach R E A C H Reaching is our most optimal strategy.
29 Push P U S H Pushing is reaching fueled by anxiety and pushes people away.
30 Shut Down T U R N S A W A Y When you shut down, you shut people out, which keeps them triggered and distressed.
31 3 Basic Actions REACH Most optimal strategy. LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= PUSH I ll make you respond to me. SHUT DOWN I ll give up, I don t need a response from you.
32 3-Stage Process Create Identify the Align team Explore safety negative cycle against cycle emotion STAGE 1 STAGE 3 STAGE 2 9 Validate 8 Integrate 7 Create bond event 6 Help to stay A.R.E. 5 Deepen each engagement
33 5 Moves in EmC Process 1 Reflect the present process. 2 Explore emotion. Process of interaction Explore deeper and how they create 3LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-art- free&psig=aovvaw16e2evsu41gdskec5nftzh&ust= emotions. emotions. Set up an enactment. 4 5 Process the enactment. Integrate and validate. Create a new emotional experience. Process. the new signal. Focus on the moment.
34 Nothing grows people more like emotional connection.
35 Mastering Emotional Connection Certification 1 Discover the science of emotional connection Create connection in working together LylQKHaTaAcQQjRwIBw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.clipartpanda.com%2Fcategories%2Frobot-clip-artfree&psig=AOvVaw16E2evsU41gdSkEC5NFtzH&ust= Create an experience Increase your own 3 Learn why emotional connection matters with skills in action Create bonding moments emotional intelligence Learn the steps and stages of the process Improve your skills in working with emotion 9 5 Improve relationships and quality of work life Become a go-to connector in your company 10
36 Certification Programs Mastering Emotional Connection Level 1 Certification Day 1 Working with emotion and learning the techniques in creating emotional connection Day 2 Practice the skills and techniques of creating emotional connection and introduction to the 3- Location: Pepperdine University stage process Von Karman Ave, Room 235, Irvine, CA Mastering Emotional Connection and Train-the-Trainer Level 1 Certification Day 3 Proficiency in Emotional Connection Train-the-Trainer program provides you with everything you need to teach Level 1 certification for your company To register, visit levelfiveexecutive.com/events Pepperdine University Von Karman Ave Irvine, CA April and June 6-8, 2018
37 Questions
38 Thank You For more information please visit our website
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