Perfectionism: what it is and how to combat its negative effects

Transcription

1 Perfectionism: what it is and how to combat its negative effects Alan Percy and Dr Sarah Leung Student Welfare and Support Services Wednesday 1 October 2014

2 WHAT IS PERFECTIONISM?

3 My bias is that perfection is not only an undesirable goal but a debilitating one as well. In my judgment, perfection per se does not exist in reality, but it is the striving for that non-existent perfection that keeps people in turmoil and is associated with a significant number of psychological problems. Asher Pacht, former American Psychological Association president (1984, p. 386)

4 Self-Orientated Perfectionism Self-imposition of high standards Critical assessment of one s behaviours and performance Adoption of all-or-none principle Sole focus on either success or failure in the results attained (Hewitt & Flett, 1991; Flett, Hewitt & Martin, 1995).

5 Other Orientated Perfectionism High standards towards individuals deemed important and placing emphasis on meeting of those standards Critical assessment of performances of others, accusing them, distrusting them and having hostile feelings against them (Hewitt & Flett, 1991; 2004; Flett, Hewitt & Martin, 1995).

6 SOCIALLY PRESCRIBED PERFECTIONISM Characterized by the perception that significant others set and hold high standards for an individual (Hewitt & Flett, 1991; Flett, Hewitt & Martin, 1995)

7 ACADEMIC PERFECTIONISM University students seem particularly vulnerable to perfectionism-related distress Leaving academic tasks to the last minute and to feel discomfort out of this (Slomon & Rothblum, 1984; Milgram, Mey-Tal & Levinson, 1998) Deliberately delaying academic tasks for fear of making mistakes (Senecal, Koestner & Vallerand, 1995; Schouwenburg, 1992)

8 ACADEMIC PERFECTIONISM Bad time management (Milgram, Marshevsky, & Sadeh, 1995) Perfectionist thoughts decreased life satisfaction (Chang, 2000; Flet et al.,1998)

9 ADAPTIVE PERFECTIONISM (CONSCIENTIOUSNESS) (POSITIVE) MALADAPTIVE PERFECTIONISM (PATHOLOGICAL AND DELUSIONAL) (NEGATIVE)

10 PERFECTIONISM INDICATES: Depression, suicide, anxiety, eating disorders and personality disorders (see Flett, Greene, & Hewitt, 2004; Flett, Hewitt, Blankstein, & Gray, 1998; Hewitt & Flett, 1991a, 1991b; Hewitt, Flett, & Turnbull-Donovan, 1992; Hewitt, Flett, & Weber, 1994; Hewitt, Newton, Flett, & Callander, 1997; Sherry, Hewitt, Flett, & Harvey, 2003).

11 PERFECTIONISM VERSUS EXCELLENCE Perfectionism: Aiming for a delusional absolute Setting an impossible goal/task By definition impossible to achieve Ultimately de-motivating Avoidance, hopelessness and depression

12 PERFECTIONISM VERSUS EXCELLENCE Excellence: A continuing (never ending) process / pursuit Aspirational and motivating Set realistic targets of excellence A stitch in the infinite tapestry of knowledge and wisdom

13 MODELS FOR DESCRIBING THE WORKINGS OF PERFECTIONISM Committee Theory of Self Self as chairperson of an unruly and conflicted committee Aim for improving mental health to achieve a balanced and democratic resolution Danger of a dominant voice taking over as dictator Perfectionist Bully very aggressive and resistant to change

14 MODELS FOR DESCRIBING THE WORKINGS OF PERFECTIONISM Feels like a helpful best friend but who has really become an enemy (within) This can make any idea of change feel like a threat Helpful advice or interventions become lost in translation

15 CAUSES OF PERFECTIONISM Bullying (both real and as a subjective experience) Low self-esteem (not good enough to be good enough) Perfectionist culture of all or nothing, either perfect or a failure Perfectionism as an internal defence against external attack and humiliation Dangers of being made to feel too special as a child, leading to disappointment with the world and one s own achievements

16 COMBATTING THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF PERFECTIONISM

17 Perfectionism Is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough, that we should try again. Julia Cameron

18 Understand the problem Analyse the function of perfectionism Links to past how it has been helpful Conditional self-esteem Feedback loop between self-doubt and chasing ever higher standards

19 Accept current position What is realistic now, at this point? What do you want to work towards? What are the pros and cons of a) changing and b) staying the same?

20 Appreciate gradual progress What would success look like? How would we get there in gradual steps? Where are you now on a 0 to 10 scale? What would it mean to move up one place? What would that feel like? Can you cope with the idea of setbacks along the way?

21 Assess the task The monster in the cupboard; face it with a friend or colleague Procrastination look at workload, missed deadlines, unhelpful habits Relentless perfectionism What has been suffering? What would need to change?

22 Identify fears If that were true, what would that say about you? If the feared outcome happened (e.g. being criticised), what would be the worst thing about that?

23 Face the bully within Notice internal voices from the past Tackle negative cognitions, thinking traps, feelings of shame Develop self-compassion Use cognitive defusion and mindfulness

24 Respond to emotions Identify, label and stay with feelings Distress tolerance Improve the moment Act opposite to current emotion Accept some discomfort

25 Realistic self-appraisal Give yourself regular feedback Recognise costs of constantly raising standards Celebrate small achievements Reflect on progress Set new goals

26 Effective action (for relentless perfectionism) Reconnect with inner passions and values; find fun in life Nurturing/depleting activities; pie chart; self care What are you afraid of? (behavioural experiments) Practise having down time graded exposure

27 Effective action (for procrastination) Do what s effective right now Set SMART goals, identify first steps, problem-solve barriers Remember personal strengths Make space for difficult feelings Resist traps Enable creativity

28 Summary of change strategies Understand & accept current position Value gradual progress Face the task & identify fears Deal with the internal bully Respond to emotions constructively Realistic performance appraisal Act effectively

29 Reading & Resources CCI Packages for Perfectionism & Procrastination Shafran et al (2010) Overcoming perfectionism Butler & Hope (2007) Manage your mind: A Mental Fitness Guide (Ch 9,10) Young & Klosko (1994) Reinventing your life (Ch15) Gilbert (2010) Compassionate Mind Perry (2002) Isn t it about time?

30 And will you succeed? Yes! You will indeed! (98 and ¾ percent guaranteed) Dr Seuss QUESTIONS?