OpulenceForLife.com 1

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1 OpulenceForLife.com 1

2 Copyright 2016 InspireVantage Pte Ltd. All rights reserved. Published by Steve And Winter. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopied, recorded, scanned, or otherwise, except as permitted under Canadian copyright law, without the prior written permission of the author. Notes to the Reader: While the author and publisher of this book have made reasonable efforts to ensure the accuracy and timeliness of the information contained herein, the author and publisher assume no liability with respect to losses or damages caused, or alleged to be caused, by any reliance on any information contained herein and disclaim any and all warranties, expressed or implied, as to the accuracy or reliability of said information. The publisher and the author make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties. The advice and strategies contained herein may not be suitable for every situation. It is the complete responsibility of the reader to ensure they are adhering to all local, regional and national laws. This publication is designed to provide accurate and authoritative information in regard to the subject matter covered. It is sold with the understanding that neither the author nor the publisher is engaged in rendering professional services. If legal, accounting, medical, psychological, or any other expert assistance is required, the services of a competent professional should be sought. The words contained in this text which are believed to be trademarked, service marked, or to otherwise hold proprietary rights have been designated as such by the use of initial capitalization. Inclusion, exclusion, or definition of a word or term is not intended to affect, or to express judgment upon the validity of legal status of any proprietary right which may be claimed for a specific word or term. The fact that an organization or website is referred to in this work as a citation and/or potential source of further information does not mean that the author or publisher endorses the information the organization or website may provide or the recommendations it may make. Further, readers should be aware that the websites listed in this work may have changed or disappeared between when this work was written and when it is read. Individual results may vary. OpulenceForLife.com 2

3 If you re going to attract abundant wealth, you need to curb your fear of making mistakes. Mistakes will occur whether you like it or not; the trick is to discover ways to change and improve your performance. And unless you have made a mistake, you won t know the mistake. You wouldn't be able to know the right way to go about accomplishing something. People are afraid of making mistakes; no doubt about it. How many times have you failed to do something or attempt a task because you fear that you will do something wrong? Let me tell you that this is something that can absolutely prevent you from becoming successful. When you make a mistake, you can learn from it and correct yourself. The common misconception is that the act of making mistakes itself is something bad. But what I want to tell you today is that it is completely, 100% okay to make mistakes. OpulenceForLife.com 3

4 What's bad is REPEATING those mistakes. Like I've said before, the one biggest mistake you can make is TRYING not to make any, by not doing anything. By not risking anything, ever. Making mistakes is how you learn to do something right. When you make a blunder, don't panic and assume that everything's gone wrong. Most times when you think it's totally hopeless, it's actually not. You'd be surprised when you take the time to change your perspective and respond instead of react (like I've mentioned in Day 1), the outcome doesn't turn out to be all that horrible. Sometimes a mistake can even be a blessing in disguise and put you on the correct path. The greatest achievers are the people that will keep moving after making a mistake. They will not stop there, but instead continue to take action. These people don t just sit around and pout. They analyze what they did wrong, and work hard to make it right. They don't correct the mistake by sitting around dwelling on it. They take action. The fear of making mistakes can be crippling, I know. In psychology, these thoughts of fear are called perfectionistic thoughts. OpulenceForLife.com 4

5 Which makes perfect sense, because who doesn't want to do things right the first time? Nobody sets out to make mistakes. But that's also a way of thinking that sets us up for failure almost inevitably. We think that we've already failed the first time. Our expectations are crushed and we give up, not even wanting to give it another go. Well, that's foolish, in my book. Because, who doesn't make mistakes? Everyone does, and the best thing to do when mistakes occur is to take action and try to correct them. Martin Antony, a professor of psychology at Ryerson University and who is also a coauthor of the book When Perfect Isn t Good Enough tells us that fears are influenced by a number of things, which include experiences we have and our biological as well as genetic makeup. The constant pressure that we have to improve our performance could trigger our fear of making mistakes and under-performing. The same may happen when we receive constant criticism. While some fear is good, for example, when you have fear of losing your job or failing an examination, you are likely to improve your performance by working hard and meeting expectations. However, excessive fear is what hurts us most; it makes us avoid fear-provoking situations. OpulenceForLife.com 5

6 For instance, when you have excessive fear, you might begin to avoid fear-provoking situations. Such fear makes you procrastinate because you are afraid of the work or task you have and feel that you won t perform as expected, or do it perfectly. You may avoid social situations like presentations, meetings, even dating and the like because you feel that you will make professional or social blunders. Many experts stress the significance of making mistakes to achieve great things. However, many people still are afraid of them. If you want to overcome any fear, you need to confront the feared stimulus directly, according Antony. For example, you may want to practice making small mistakes that have mild consequences and stop remaining in the comfort zone or engaging in safety behaviors. You need to change perfectionistic thinking because it all stems from your mind. You are just interpreting what is occurring around you and this perpetuates perfectionism. In the actual sense, we do not fear making mistakes but we fear what we believe about the mistakes we make. We tend to assume that when mistakes occur, they will lead to terrible consequences that cannot be undone or corrected, for instance, being fired by our employers or being ridiculed by others. Sometimes, we may believe that mistakes are a sign of incompetence or weakness. In dealing with perfectionistic thoughts, we should identify such thoughts and list out alternative thoughts. OpulenceForLife.com 6

7 We need to think about the pros as well as cons of all such thoughts and consider the most realistic way of tackling the situation. Perfectionism may be regarded as the voice of the oppressor; it is the enemy of the people, according to bestselling author Anne Lamott in her book called Bird by Bird. In life, we know that perfectionism is restrictive and unrealistic. It is a tyrant that will steal success from us. As Albert Einstein said, "Nothing happens until something moves." How we learn from our mistakes is by NOT repeating them. If the mistakes are repeated, then we haven't learnt from them. Sometimes we may repeat the same mistake and berate ourselves over it. But it's okay. It's all a learning process. What matters is that you keep on trying not to make the same mistake. Don't become stagnant just because you have failed once, or twice, or even many times over. Coach John Wooden, also known as the "The Wizard of Westwood", became head coach at UCLA, where he served for 27 years, making the team rake in 10 wins of the national championships in his last 12 years there. He was dubbed arguably the most successful and talented coach in college basketball. OpulenceForLife.com 7

8 John Wooden is also author of several success and leadership books including the Wooden: A Lifetime Of Observations On And Off The Court, which was a national bestseller. John Wooden said, "If you're not making mistakes, then you're not doing anything. I'm positive that a doer makes mistakes." Wooden stated that his own coach said, "The team that makes the most mistakes will probably win." While this may sound strange to many people because we are used to being perfectionists, moods are sometimes ruined over small mistakes that we make in, for example, our workplaces. Similarly, moods are ruined when students are punished for errors they make in their school work. But all that makes sense because just like Coach Wooden said, it is the doer who makes mistakes and mistake-free people are those that do not try at all. So, if you don't make any attempts, how are you going to know that you made a mistake? How are you going to avoid repeating the same mistake? No one is likely to succeed on the first try and mistakes are likely to happen, but only if you try to do something. In his writing, Wooden emphasized that people should not try to be better than others. They should instead never stop trying to be the best they can, by their own standards. When you don t do something, you won't know if you would've made a mistake or done it correctly. OpulenceForLife.com 8

9 Furthermore, failing to prepare essentially means preparing to fail. So think of any mistake as preparation before your next successful attempt! People too often are distracted by things that are outside their control. When the door to the past is shut and the keys thrown away, you may feel that you cannot do anything about tomorrow. But you need to make today a masterpiece because it is what you have control over. Make yourself a little better each day over time and you will find that you are on the path to success. Focus on improving yourself and take action. Now for Day 2's exercise, I want you to examine your thoughts. The following steps will help you on your journey of learning how to handle fear-provoking situations or events: Step one: Identify your perfectionistic thoughts. In any given situation, consciously recognize any thoughts that lead you to inaction. Or if you catch yourself being upset over a mistake, stop and reflect on why you're feeling that way. Which brings us to step two: Is there an alternative way to see things that can calm you down and turn things around? Come up with alternative thoughts. OpulenceForLife.com 9

10 Instead of being upset and scolding yourself over the mistake, try putting yourself in the shoes of another person a friend perhaps and see if this perspective lessens the emotional impact of the mistake. More often than not, you are the only one who thinks the mistake is massive. Step three: Weigh these alternative thoughts and choose the one with the most pros over cons. It should make sense, be realistic, and can keep your perspective in check. For example, if you fumble up a word in conversation, it's not the end of the world, even if it's in a professional setting. Would you be so hard on someone who fumbled once and was otherwise perfectly fine? Likewise, others wouldn't judge you harshly for a misspoken word or two, in this case. You can even try fumbling words on purpose in a casual conversation, just to test how your mind thinks. Have fun! And that's it for Day 2. I'm certain you'll be able to overcome your fear. See you in Day 3! OpulenceForLife.com 10