Impact of Loss Conference 27 th October Hosting. Hosting. Ingrid McAllister-Derry The Bereavement Centre Manager.

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1 Impact of Loss Conference 27 th October 2016 Hosting Ingrid McAllister-Derry The Bereavement Centre Manager Ingrid McAllister-Derry is the Bereavement Centre Manager and has worked within the Funeral Industry for over 20 years. Ingrid, a volunteer for Cruse Bereavement Care, holds a Diploma in Counselling, specialises in Bereavement, has extensive knowledge and experience of the funeral industry, and is also a qualified Professional Life Coach, NLP Practitioner and believes in a Holistic approach to supporting people. Together with Gary Orchard, Janet Quintavalle and Louise Davies Bereavement Coordinators, and a small team of counsellors and volunteers, they help and support the community. Ingrid and her team are passionate and committed to helping the bereaved. The Bereavement Centre has been running since 2000, is a FREE service and is open to anyone in the community. The Bereavement Centre offers a wide range of Free support including One to One Bereavement Counselling, Bereavement Groups, and Life Coaching. We also offer Bereavement Study Days, Bereavement Workshops and Talks to professional organisations. We can be contacted by telephoning / / or by on info@thebereavementcentre.co.uk or on our website bereavementcentre.co.uk Sarah Tollast Hosting Sarah works for the Complex Children's Community Nursing teams in Portsmouth and Southampton as a Nurse Therapist Specialist, providing direct care to children, young people and their families/carers. As part of her role she also delivers consultation, training and supervision to Social Care, Health, and Education professionals. Over the past 15 years, Sarah has developed a special interest regarding Loss and Bereavement and has raised the profile and understanding grief can have on children and young people's lives.

2 Speakers Sophie de Bere, Meerkat Service Co-ordinator I am a Social Worker, having attained my Msc/DipSW in Social Work in 2005 at Southampton University. I also have a BA (Hons) in English with Psychology and a post-graduate certificate in Childhood Bereavement. After qualifying as a Social Worker, I spent a few years working for Southampton City Council with a front-line children and families team. I have also worked for Southampton Women s Aid as a child refuge worker. I began my current post at The Rowans Hospice in March 2008 where I manage Rowan s Meerkat Service. Rowan s Meerkat Service is aided by funds from BBC Children in Need and offers pre and post bereavement support to children up to the age of 18 who have a significant adult with a life-limiting illness or who have been bereaved of an adult close to them. The growth of Rowan s Meerkat Service over the past 8 years has exceeded initial expectations; it has been a privilege to be part of building and developing this needs-led, therapeutic service. Janet Quintavalle and Gary Orchard from The Bereavement Centre Gary and Janet are both Bereavement Co-ordinators at The Bereavement Centre. They both have extensive knowledge and experience of the funeral industry, they also help support the community in which they serve in a variety of different ways. Gary and Janet also offer and conduct Bereavement Study Days, Bereavement Workshops and Talks to professional organisations. Ian Rudkin The Oaks Crematorium and Clayton Wood Natural Burial Grounds Manager I have been involved in the bereavement industry since the late 1980s starting as the Assistant Manager Registrar of Worthing crematorium and cemeteries then progressing to Manager Registrar in During this time I have seen over 80,000 services carried out at one of the busiest crematoria in the UK, approximately 8,000 burial services. Service types and the technology used in them have changed dramatically over these years, and I have always been keen for people to think and talk about how they wish their own funeral arrangements to be carried out. After completing 27 very successful years in Worthing I was privileged to be offered the post as the Crematorium and Natural Burial Ground manager in the private sector with The Southern Cooperative in Portsmouth. The Southern Cooperative, managing

3 The Havant Crematorium. After 2 enormously successful years The Oaks is now one of the most environmentally conscious and respected crematorium facilities in the United Kingdom. The Southern Cooperative also operate Clayton Wood Natural Burial Ground in West Sussex. Clayton Wood is one of the most beautiful places of Natural Burial in the UK. I serve on the technical committee of Federation of Burial and Cremation Authorities, who work closely with private and commercial sector burial and cremation authorities, and the Ministry of Justice, on Cremation and Burial legislation. Canon Bob White Bob White is the Vicar of St Mary's Church in Fratton Road, Portsmouth and is also the Area Dean for Portsmouth (responsible for representing all the Church of England Parishes in the city). He grew up in the area and has been a Parish priest in Gosport, Portsmouth and Leigh Park for over 25 years. Through that time he has developed a lot of experience of supporting the bereaved and has worked closely with local Funeral Directors in arranging large services for the bereaved. He also has been heavily involved in the local communities and networks. Working in partnership is the best way to build strong and well resourced communities St Mary's Vicarage on or vicar@portseaparish.co.uk

4 Workshops (1) Supporting people involved in serious Road Traffic Collisions Stephen Edbury Victim Support Everybody reacts to trauma following a serious road traffic collision differently, sadly this workshop will not provide you with a one size fits all solution, however, it will enhance your natural abilities to help in times of crisis. Being able to identify normal reaction to an abnormal situation will give you the foundation and confidence in knowing that you can make a difference. Having an understanding of and recognizing the signs of loss and trauma and the skills to best support a person to move forward is all you need in your toolbox to make a huge difference to someone s life. This workshop will empower you to help someone personally and also to recognise when a more professional body should be introduced. (2) Mindfulness "A Mindful Approach to Living with the Tyranny of Thinking!" Paul Beadon, Lead Clinical Psychologist, The Rowans Hospice A 45-minute experiential Mindfulness-based session, which will develop ideas around applying Mindful approaches to being alongside bereavement.

5 (3) The Oaks Crematorium A continuation of Earth to Earth Ashes to Ashes from our speaker Ian Rudkin ( The Oaks Crematorium Manager) Exploring more on the history of and the current processes and procedures of cremation. Also exploring the future developments. (4) Getting Through: Communicating with bereaved children and young people Samantha Guerrini YMCA The workshop examines the benefits of clear straightforward communication with bereaved children and young people in order to build trust and support them through the grieving process. Participants will learn and develop strategies in communicating effectively with bereaved children and young people, as well as garner an understanding of how grief can have an impact on the ability to communicate. Finally, the workshop will explore the importance of building resilience in bereaved children and young people, and techniques through which this can be achieved. The Ripples of Loss Canon Bob White St Mary s Church Portsmouth (5) The Ripples of Loss An exploration of how loss is not a one-off event, but is something which causes many ripples. How can we be aware of them, and how can we support people who experience them? (6) The Stigma of Suicide and it's Ripples. Sue Fisher SOBS When you hear the words "committed suicide", what is your initial reaction? mental health problems? selfish? coward? is it contagious? Suicide isn't something any of us think about, until it happens to you. The word itself sends out a lot of negative connotations. This workshop will explore the impact a suicide can have not just on the immediate family, but how it can affect and ripple onto others.

6 (7) The Bereavement Centre Basic Understanding of Bereavement Come and join us and gain an understanding of the stages of grief and how attachment and loss can affect you. You will also gain a basic understanding of the process of bereavement and loss. (This is a taster of a four hour workshop available to you, details can be found at our exhibition stand)