Coping with Holiday Grief

Transcription

1 Coping with Holiday Grief Before, During & After the Holidays Presented by Military & Family Life Counselors

2 Objectives» Identify the ways in which the holidays can impact the grief cycle» Identify healthy coping during the holidays» Identify ways to assist children in the grieving process» Develop a plan for the holidays» Identify additional resources 2

3 Consider Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break. ~William Shakespeare 3

4 Discussion» What bothers me most about the holidays» What I miss the most is» I wish my loved one was here to 4

5 Make Space For Holiday Grief 5

6 Help Yourself Cope Give yourself permission:» to cry» be conscious of the moment» Feel/work through the grief» consider breaking/changing tradition» do the holidays in a small way» reach out, even with small kindness, to someone else» don t over spend to make the holidays happy 6

7 Help Yourself Cope continued» At family gatherings, decorate a box or a basket & ask family/friends to write a special memory of your loved one for the basket» Give money you would have spent on your loved one to charity, donate a book to a library, etc.» Write an unsent letter» Give yourself something to look forward to after the holidays 7

8 How to Help Children Cope» Spend some special time with your children» Keep some of their favorite family traditions and ask them to help create new ones» Acknowledge to them that things are different and allow them to express their feelings» Set aside some time for remembering together the experiences you shared with your loved one» Keep up your own strength, seek and accept extra support from friends 8

9 Remember Do what is right for you during the holidays» Discuss your plans with a trusted friend who won t judge the decisions you make about how or with whom you will spend your time» As you become aware of your needs, share them with your friends and family 9

10 Plan Ahead» Family traditions Maintain the important traditions Start new ones» Traditions can help structure your time and anticipate schedules Getting caught off guard may result in feelings of panic, fear and anxiety 10

11 Holiday Grief Plan The name of this holiday is. Circle the traditions you want to keep this holiday. Put an "X" on those things you can't face this year. Would you like to:» Stay in town» Spend the holiday in a different part of the country? If so, where would you like to go? Family Traditions» Write in family traditions connected with this holiday (for example: send cards). 11

12 Holiday Grief Plan - Decorating» Decorate as usual» Modify decorations» Ask for help» Make changes, such as: an artificial tree instead of a real one» A special corner decorated in honor of your loved one 12

13 Holiday Grief Plan Giving Gifts Give as usual or..» Give to charity instead of buying gifts for each other» Give gift certificates» Give home-made gifts» Adopt a needy family and buy gifts for them» Draw names 13

14 Holiday Grief Plan Other Thoughts & Ideas»»»»» 14

15 Summary» Recognize how the holidays can affect the grief cycle» Utilize healthy coping strategies during the holidays» Identify ways to assist children in the grieving process» Develop a plan for the holidays» Seek support from family and friends 15

16 16 Questions

17 Resources» Military Community Services» Chaplain and Local Clergy» Military OneSource (800) » TRICARE Behavioral Health Services 17

18 References» Nine Ways to Make Space in Your Grief for Some Holiday Joy» grief.html Coping With Holiday Grief» Experiencing Grief-H. Norman Wright» A Passage Through Grief-Barbara Baumgardner» American Hospice Foundation 2002 and reprinted with permission from the American Hospice Foundation.» 18