Season. Every. small things matter the most. Volunteering Helps Mike Pereira Bond with Other Veterans and Work Through Grief. for

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1 WINTER 2013/14 A Bereavement Newsletter from Seasons Hospice Foundation for Every Season Volunteering Helps Mike Pereira Bond with Other Veterans and Work Through Grief Through his service to other veterans, retired U.S. Army Sergeant Mike Pereira, 31, has come to terms with the grief and painful memories of his wartime military service in Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom. In Afghanistan, a close friend was killed by a roadside bomb. Many other friends did not come back. Like so many fellow veterans, Mike was diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). I was almost killed when a helicopter malfunctioned and was forced into an emergency landing, says Mike. I felt like I should have died. I lived through it in one way, but felt like I died in another way. Therapy for PTSD ultimately led Mike to seek out Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care of St. Louis in 2012 to serve in the Veteran-to-Veteran Volunteer Program. The need for these volunteers is significant. According to We Honor Veterans, there are 26 million veterans, and one in four Americans who will die in 2013 is a veteran. Specially trained volunteers such as Mike provide veterans at the end of life an opportunity to connect with someone who understands military culture, language, and can help them review their military service in the context of their life. Goals of these visits often include reducing feelings of isolation and breaking down barriers such as stoicism and secrecy, which are not unusual for those who served in combat. (continued on pg. 2) small things matter the most

2 Veterans I meet with often revisit a time when their life was almost cut short, or was important to them for other reasons, says Mike. On a battlefield, you rely on people to look out for you. It is a sickening feeling when you are out there alone. In this role, I can be there for them so they know someone is looking out for them. Seasons Hospice Social Worker Allison Givens says serving veterans is a big part of the hospice s culture. That s why the We Honor Veterans Program of the National Hospice and Palliative Care Organization (NHPCO) recently recognized Seasons Hospice of St. Louis as a Level Four Partner. Less than one percent of hospice programs in the nation have earned the prestigious designation. ceremony is a way for all our team members to say thank you to all our patients who are veterans. It really makes a difference to the patient and to us, says Givens. For Mike, helping fellow veterans has provided valuable perspective on his combat experiences and is helping turn negative life events into positive ones. He also works with autistic children and is a full-time student at Washington University, pursuing a Ph.D. in psychology. After graduation, he hopes to use equine therapy to help children affected by trauma. Many veterans want to give back, but don t know how, says Mike. This and other programs provide meaning to life that can be hard to find after experiencing war first-hand. Givens recruits and trains veteran volunteers, who then help spread the word about the program by making presentations to veterans groups. One of the more popular aspects of the program is a pinning ceremony in which all veterans can take part. Members of the Seasons Hospice team including clinical staff, volunteers, social workers, Board-Certified music therapists, and chaplains are often part of the ceremony. The In this role, I can be there for them so they know someone is looking out for them. How Veterans Can Become Volunteers There is a great need for veteran volunteers. If you are or know a military veteran who might want to help veterans who are enrolled in your local Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care program, visit or call for information. Mike Pereira 2

3 Seasons Memory Bears Offer Loved Ones Something Cherished to Hold Onto Susan House cherishes the memories of her mother, Jo Toone, in a beautiful blue pleated dress she wore on very special occasions. The Poway, Calif., resident smiles when she remembers the way Jo lit up a room and made her family feel special and loved. After Jo s passing two years ago, House was faced with the painful task of sorting through her mother s clothes. When she came across the blue dress and other treasured items of clothing, she realized she couldn t part with them. So many memories of my mom are wrapped up in that dress and a pretty purple shirt, House recalls. I just couldn t give them away. Then House s husband Lawrence reminded her of Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care of San Diego s Memory Bears program, which gives surviving loved ones something to hold onto when they need it the most. Begun in 2010, the Memory Bears program offers three handmade teddy bears, lovingly sewn by Seasons volunteers, to the surviving family of Seasons Hospice of San Diego clients. I was only going to ask for one bear, but my husband convinced me to get three, and he was right, she adds. House chose the blue dress and a purple shirt for her bears. The call that the bears were ready and would be delivered came just minutes after our realtor had called and said the sale of Mom s house was final, she recalls. It was a bittersweet moment to know that I had just sold our childhood home. Then came the call about the bears and the delivery of such a treasure. It was like Mom and Dad were smiling down on me. Ryana Goldberger, director of Supportive Care for Seasons Hospice of San Diego House keeps her treasured memory bear on a shelf in her den. It s very comforting to me, she adds. I like to see it whenever I m in the room. I m so appreciative to Seasons for creating this program and these beautiful bears for our family. House had the opportunity to personally thank the volunteer seamstress who created her bears when she attended a special tea hosted by Seasons Hospice last spring, A Bear Affair to Remember. It was an opportunity to tell her how I felt, she said. I felt completed. It brought closure in a way that was very pleasant. Seasons Hospice Foundation funds all the supplies and delivery costs of the program. We are looking for people who can provide financial support to help us jump-start this wonderful program at Seasons Hospice programs around the country, says Greg Grabowski, President and CEO of Seasons Hospice Foundation. Once we 3

4 I m so appreciative to Seasons for creating this program and these beautiful bears for our family. - Susan House have support for starting a new Memory Bears program, donations from those local programs will keep it growing. Memory Bears program founder Ryana Goldberger, director of Supportive Care for Seasons Hospice of San Diego, says the bears receive glowing reviews from both grateful recipients and the program s talented volunteers. Eight enthusiastic seamstresses, ranging in age from 40 to 80, sew tirelessly throughout the year, crafting a tangible memory for which recipients are forever thankful. On average, each bear takes about six hours to create. More than 250 have been delivered since the program started. Every bear has its own personality, Goldberger explains. Each is about 12 inches tall and is created using a revised version of a Simplicity pattern, but they re all unique based on the clothing and what our clients tell us about their loved ones. Seasons Hospice volunteer seamstress Cynthia Harrison, who has sewn more than 140 memory bears herself, says a help-wanted flyer caught her attention in I thought, Wow, that would be fun, and I ed Ryana that afternoon, Harrison said. A Bear-y Good Idea Currently, the Memory Bear program serves only the San Diego area. However, if you would like to sponsor a Memory Bears program, you can! A donation of $5,000 can bring the joy and healing of this program to your community. For information, please call Gregory Grabowski at Seasons Hospice Foundation, or send him an at ggrabowski@seasons.org. The Seasons Hospice Memory Bears have become a serious hobby, forsaking all others. Each time Ryana brings a new batch, it s like Christmas. I never know what kind of clothing families will send. Of course, there are pajamas and robes, but there are well-loved jeans and tee-shirts with writing on them that are significant to the families. Harrison lovingly sews each memory bear using a Singer Featherweight sewing machine that her mom purchased in 1948! At a Memory Bears tea event earlier this year, she was reunited with a bear that showed signs of being very well-loved. This bear had been through the mill. But the family explained that the toddler who had been so close to his grandmother had recognized the fabric of the bear as being his grandmother s and immediately embraced it, she explained. The Memory Bears program is available to surviving loved ones of Seasons Hospice of San Diego clients. For more information about the San Diego program, call Ryana Goldberger, director of Supportive Care, at

5 Brother and sister Rick Weigand and Melody Stried are among a growing number of people who are partnering with Seasons Hospice Foundation to raise money to fund programs that they are passionate about. Every year since 1996, Melody and Rick have organized Strike at Cancer, a bowling event in Arlington Heights, Ill. The annual fund-raising event is a way for the family to honor the legacy of their mother, Mary Weigand, who transitioned after living with breast cancer for 10 years. To date, the event has raised more than $500,000. We are a bowling family, so it seemed like a great activity to honor her memory, says Melody, who also serves as Director of Support Care and Support Services for Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care. Plus, we have found it is a pretty simple event to organize. The fund-raising focus of the 2013 Strike at Cancer event shifted to recognize the passing of Rick and Melody s father, Ray Weigand, who was a patient in Seasons Hospice. In addition to the wonderful care, the program that really impressed my brother is Seasons Remembered: Leaving a Legacy, says Melody. Seasons Hospice Foundation s Legacy program captures life stories, lessons, sentiments, memories, and traditions. Legacies convey what we want remaining generations to know and understand about our life experiences. For loved ones, these legacies help us remember and heal as we carry on important traditions. The program has many options, including video and voice recordings, filling out cards to mark special days in loved ones lives for years afterward, creating a musical timeline, or even writing and recording a song with a Music Therapist. Brother and Sister Team Up With Seasons Foundation to Take a Strike at Cancer With Seasons, it is easy to work with the Foundation to direct gifts to a single program, says Melody. That way, the funds go directly to support a program you have a connection to. Seasons Hospice Foundation also partners with people who stage fund-raising events on its behalf by offering support to publicize the event, help connect events to potential sponsors and provide on-site assistance. Raising funds for programs like our Legacy program is a beautiful way for people to express their passion for a cause, says Greg Grabowski, President and Chief Executive Officer of Seasons Hospice Foundation. Perhaps even more importantly, this is a way to get involved in your community, have some fun, and know that you are bringing comfort and joy to others. The 2013 Strike for Cancer event featured more than 100 bowlers and raised more than $11,000 for Legacy programs. The brother-and-sister pair is already planning the 2014 event and will be working with Seasons Hospice Foundation once again to help other families create legacies that will last for generations to come. 5

6 Helping Others through SEASONS HOSPICE FOUNDATION With your help, Seasons Hospice Foundation is able to provide assistance to hospice families in need. Through the granting of wishes, we are able to enrich lives with fond, lasting memories. You can be confident that your generous gift stays close to home and makes a difference to the patients and families. To honor your loved one by making a gift or to learn more about the Seasons Hospice Foundation, please visit seasonsfoundation.org or call Shafer Ct., Suite 700 Rosemont, IL RETURN TO SENDER IF UNDELIVERABLE seasonsfoundation.org foreveryseason If our mailing records need to be updated, or if you would like to receive this newsletter electronically, please contact Seasons Hospice Foundation at Foundation Fast Facts SUPPORT Wishes - Past, Present & Future Goals Wish Utilization Cost of Wishes Total Wishes Avg. Cost per Wish 2011 $70, $ $95, $ Jan-Jun 2013 $72, $ Goal $118, $ Tears of grief are unique. They contain chemicals that aren't found in the more mundane droplets of moisture Seasons Hospice & Palliative Care 606 Potter Rd. Des Plaines, Illinois Toll free: that bathe the eyes, as if our tears wash us free of some noxious cause of sorrow. Carol Cassella 6