Managing Fear/ uncertainty. Dr Elie Wakil

Transcription

1 Managing Fear/ uncertainty Dr Elie Wakil

2 Introduction to Fear How it limits us

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9 What is Fear? Fear is our most primitive emotion Evolved to protect us from danger to ensure survival Nowadays our fears do not relate to survival but to acceptance in society

10 Common Fears Change Rejection Public Speaking Failure Criticism New responsibilities Restructuring

11 Fear is Universal How common are your fears? Look around the room: How many of your colleagues you think share your fears? Cross out any fears you share with others

12 Levels of Fear Level 1 Situation -External Level 2 Ego Fears - Internal Level 3 I can t handle it

13 Level 1 Situational Fears Events that happen Inescapable Change Getting fired Retirement Loss of financial security BEYOND CONTROL:BC Events that require action Making decisions Changing your career Asserting yourself Public speaking WITHIN CONTROL:WC

14 Fear of Change?? Change happens Change provides opportunities for learning and new experiences It s never as scary as your chatterbox says

15 Anxiety of Restructuring?? It s just change Your chatterbox will try and drive you crazy The actual consequences are never as bad as you imagine them Be proactive and embrace whatever new responsibilities come your way

16 Level 2 Internal Ego Fears Serve to protect the ego and sense of self Dominated by fear of not being able to handle the world Reflect inner states of mind vs. exterior situations (Level 1) Examples Rejection Failure Success

17 Fear of Failure:?? Failure will always happen You are not your job Failure is a stop on the path to success Failure teaches you how to succeed Don t let your chatterbox convince you that the imaginary consequences are real

18 Level 3 I can t handle it The underlying fear of the other levels is that you cannot handle what will happen If you could handle it you wouldn't fear it I can t handle it is the fallacy that fear tricks us into believing is true This fallacy prevents us from confronting fear

19 Chatterbox What is it? Annoying voice in your head saying I can t handle it in different versions Confirms your Level 3 fear I can t handle it automatically The voice of your fear Unhelpful

20 Chatterbox Example I bet they heard that mistake. I m such an idiot. Am I saying Um too much? I m forgetting my words, this is so embarrassing They think I m stupid. There s no way the boss will let me do this again. I may be fired for incompetence.

21 Chatterbox Exercise What does yours say?

22 Coward to Courage Ladder Do the thing you fear; and the death of fear is certain. Ralph Waldo Emerson

23 Coward to Courage Ladder What tools do we need? How can we turn fear into sweet anticipation?

24 Tools?

25 Tools Transforming your Chatterbox Recognize Imaginary vs Actual Consequences Using the Empowering Fear Wheel Using the tools turns fear into sweet anticipation

26 Using Tools to Climb Transforming your Chatterbox Recognize Imaginary vs. Actual Consequences Empowering Fear Wheel

27 Transforming your Chatterbox and Recognizing Imaginary vs. Actual Consequences

28 Vicious Fear Cycle and Limits Feeling Fear Being Held Back Doing Nothing

29 Transforming your Chatterbox You can t get rid of it You can recognize that it s limiting your potential in life You can transform it

30 Transformed Chatterbox I can handle it. I am not stupid. The boss appreciates my input otherwise he wouldn t have hired me I can t handle it. Your ideas are stupid. The boss doesn t care what you think

31 Transformed Chatterbox Benefits Expands your zone of comfort Turn negativity in positivity

32 Zone of Comfort New Zone Risk 3 Risk 2 Risk 1 Original Zone

33 Exercise Time EW Photo New Zone Risk 3 Risk 2 Risk 1 Original Zone

34 Original Comfort Zone

35 Risk 1

36 Risk 2

37 Risk 3

38 Risk 4 = New Comfort Zone

39 Example 2: the Gigolo

40 Transformed Chatterbox I have the courage to look silly. It doesn t affect my prestige. People are laughing with me. You look really stupid. People are laughing at you, not with you. You should be ashamed of yourself

41 Imaginary vs. Actual Consequences Unknown events are scary We always imagine unknown events to be much scarier than they actually are ~90% of what we worry about never happens FEAR I can t handle it IMAGINARY CONSEQUENCES

42 FEAR ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES I can handle it

43 Exercise Time Consequences of Fear List the imaginary consequences your chatterbox is telling you Rate how scary you think it is from 1-5

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45 Fear Wheels

46 Traditional Fear Wheel Trigger Inaction Fear Response Feeling Powerless Inaction breeds doubt and fear Dale Carnegie

47 Empowering Fear Wheel Do the thing you fear; and the death of fear is certain. Ralph Waldo Emerson Trigger I can handle it Fear Response Overcome Fear Take Action

48 Take Control of your Fear Wheel Take control of your fear wheel Using the tools, plan how to confront a fear for homework

49 Recap

50 Levels of Fear Level 1 Situation - External Level 2 Ego Fears - Internal Level 3 I can t handle it

51 Using Tools to Climb Transform your Chatterbox Recognize Imaginary vs. Actual Consequences Use the Empowering Fear Wheel

52 Imaginary vs. Actual Consequences IMAGINARY CONSEQUENCES FAR ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES I can t handle it I can handle it

53 Empowering Fear Wheel Trigger I can handle it Fear Response Overcome Fear Take Action

54 Remember Dr Elie Wakil