Wounded Healer to Worthy Helper

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1 Wounded Healer to Worthy Helper Personal and Professional Development for behavioral health staff, teams and programs Maeve O Neill, MEd, LCDC, LPC-S, CDWF maeve@maeveoneillcounseling.com

2 Our legacy as BH professionals You can t take people professionally where you re not willing to go personally - Brene Brown

3 Agenda Welcome and Intros Mindset-Language Behavioral Health professionals, teams, organizations WAR-Willing, Able, Ready HOW-Honest, Open, Willing Culture-Talk, Trust, Feel The Daring Way CONCEPTS Courage-Compassion-Connection Show Up-Be Seen Live Brave Guideposts to Wholehearted Living Rising Strong PROCESS Reckoning Rumble Revolution BHForce-Behavioral Health workforce Workplace

4 Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted -Brene Brown s Rising Strong

5 What would YOU do? Substance Use/Relapse Sexual activity with clients Sexual activity with staff Sharing pornography Possession of weapons Destruction of property Dishonesty, lying, stealing Loved ones call about domestic violence concerns Threats of harm to self and others Name calling, disrespect, bullying, gossip

6 William White The Incestuous Workplace Individuals become casualties in distressed organizations: -self destruct in the face of excessive demands for adaptation Organizations have power to do harm: -to themselves, to their leaders, to those who work in them and to the public

7 My Story, Your Story, Our Story

8 BH Professionals Willing Able Ready

9 Adverse Childhood Experiences Physical, emotional, sexual abuse Physical or emotional neglect Household mental illness Household substance use Incarcerated household member Domestic abuse Parental separation or divorce -University of Oxford's Department of Psychiatry Public Health Study

10 You are loved and lovable Worthy of love and belonging Boundaries Rest and Play Accountability and Respect Joy and Gratitude Learn to be vulnerable Teach you to feel Laugh, sing, dance, create Always belong here Truly, deeply seeing you

11 My Story, Your Story, Our Story

12 BH Teams Honest Open Willing

13 Compassion Fatigue/Burnout

14 Uncertainty, Risk and Emotional Exposure

15 Authenticity Practice

16

17 BH Organizations Talk Trust Feel

18 How to Help L Listen O - Observe V - Validate E - Educate E - Empower C - Consistency A - Accountability R - Respect E - Empathy E - Excitement

19 7C s Didn t CAUSEit Can t CURE it Can t CONTROL it Can take CARE of myself COMMUNICATE feelings Make healthy CHOICES By CELEBRATING myself, my job, my purpose

20 SAMHSA s Definition of Recovery Guiding Principles

21

22 The Daring Way-Dr. Brene Brown

23 SHOW UP BE SEEN LIVE BRAVE

24 DARING WAY CONCEPTS Permission Slips Gratitude Trust and the Marble Jar Arena Armory Shame Shields Values Identities and Triggers Open Heart

25 ARENA ANTHEMS Laughter, song, and dance create emotional and spiritual connection; they remind us of the one thing that truly matters when we are searching for comfort, celebration, inspiration, or healing; We are not alone ~Brene Brown

26 Mantras and Manifestos MANIFESTO FOR HELPING PROFESSIONALS The values that guide me to show up and be seen are... I stand for... I am most curious about... I am most passionate about... I have the courage to... I love... In my heart of hearts, I... I am on this planet to... I will love myself by... I will dare greatly by...

27 COURAGE Asking for what you need Speaking your truth Owning your story Setting boundaries Reaching out for support

28 COMPASSION

29 EMPATHY & SELF-COMPASSION We have to commit to practicing, screwing it up, and circling back. Attributes of Empathy (Wiseman) -Perspective Taking -Stay out of Judgment -Recognize Emotion -Communicate Emotion -Mindfulness Self-Compassion (Neff) -Self-Kindness -Common Humanity -Mindfulness

30 CONNECTION

31 DEFINITION OF SHAME Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.

32 Shame Resilience Recognizing Shame and Triggers Practicing Critical Awareness Reaching Out Speaking Shame

33 ENGAGEMENT as HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS Setting Boundaries Clarifying Intentions Finding True Comfort Cultivating Spirit and Connection

34 ASPIRATIONAL VALUES Honesty and Integrity Respect and Accountability Gratitude and Respect Setting Limits

35 GUIDEPOSTS for WHOLEHEARTED LIVING Authenticity - Let go of what people think Self-Compassion - Let go of perfectionism Resilient Spirit - Let go of numbing and powerlessness Gratitude and Joy - Let go of scarcity and fear of the dark Intuition and Trusting Let go of need for certainty Creativity Let go of comparison Play and Rest Let go of exhaustion as status symbol Calm and Stillness Let go of anxiety as a lifestyle Meaningful Work Let go of self-doubt Laughter, Song and Dance Let go of being in control

36 WHOLEHEARTED for BH Staff W Worthy H Humor O - Open L - Limits E Expectations H - Helpful E Enjoyment A - Authentic R - Resilience T - Traditions E - Emotions D - Deliberate

37 BHForce- Behavioral Health workforce Courageous Professionals Compassionate Teams Connected Organizations

38 Brave and Brokenhearted Reckon with EMOTIONS HEART Rumble with THOUGHTS HEAD Revolution is new BEHAVIOR HANDS

39 BRAVING Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault Integrity Non-Judgement Generosity

40 BHForce- Behavioral Health workforce Definition of FORCE: Strength or energy as an attribute of physical action or movement JOIN THE MOVEMENT!

41 CULTURE The set of behaviors, values, artifacts, reward systems, and rituals that make up your organization. You can feel culture when you visit a company, because it is often evident in people s behavior, enthusiasm, and the space itself

42 Enviable Workplace Culture 1. People are waiting in line to join the team 2. Turnover is low 3. Top leaders are not insecure about other leaders succeeding 4. Gossip isn t tolerated 5. Lateral leadership is outstanding 6. Team members are energized by the mission 7. It s not just a job 8. The team believes they are more important than the task 9. People are smiling 10. Fear is missing 11. Communication is strong 12. Change is welcome Tim Stevens in Fast Company

43 Workplace Health Scarcity Never Enough Comparison, Guilt, Humiliation & Embarrassment

44 Rituals Personal and Professional PRACTICE - 4x a day -Wake Up -Leave Home/Get to work -Leave work/get Home -Bedtime WORKPLACE - DAILY

45

46 BHForce-Membership Behavioral Health workforce For Individuals, Teams, Orgs Coaching calls Weekly assignments Daily inspirational quotes Unlimited texts/ Access to social media (Facebook/LinkedIn pages)

47 Thanks for all you do! Delaney, Maeve and Aidan

48 Resources By Brene Brown: Daring Greatly The Gifts of Imperfection I thought it was just me (but it isn t) Rising Strong Additional Personal Development: Super Soul Sunday on OWN channel Paulo Coehlo-The Alchemist don Miguel Ruiz-The Four Agreements

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