Detailed Contents PART 1: FOUNDATIONS. PREFACE xxiv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xxviii ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxx CHAPTER1. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: A FIRST LOOK 1

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1 Detailed Contents PREFACE xxiv ACKNOWLEDGMENTS xxviii ABOUT THE AUTHORS xxx PART 1: FOUNDATIONS CHAPTER1. INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION: A FIRST LOOK 1 Learning Objectives 1 What Do You Know? 1 What Is Interpersonal Communication? 2 Interpersonal Communication Is about Relationships 3 Interpersonal Communication Takes Two 3 Interpersonal Communication Is a Lifelong Project 3 TRY THIS: Today, Who Is a Stranger? 4 Models of Interpersonal Communication 5 ANALYZE THIS: Are You in a Disguise? 6 People 6 TRY THIS: Rating Relationships 8 Messages 8 Channels 9 Noise 9 Feedback 10 Context 11 Effect 12 Visualizing Communication 12 How Does Interpersonal Communication Enhance Our Lives? 14 It Fulfills Psychological Functions 14 TRY THIS: Making Model Sense 15 It Fulfills Social Functions 16 It Fulfills Information Functions 17 It Fulfills Influence Functions 17 TRY THIS: Functions in Action 18 Understanding Interpersonal Contact: Characteristics, Patterns, and Axioms of Communication 18 Five Characteristics of Interpersonal Communication 18 Interpersonal Communication Is a Dynamic Process 19 Interpersonal Communication Is Unrepeatable 19 Interpersonal Communication Is Irreversible 19 Interpersonal Communication Is Learned 19 Interpersonal Communication Is Characterized by Wholeness and Nonsummativity 19 Interpersonal Patterns 20 Five Communication Axioms 20 Axiom 1: You Cannot Not Communicate 21 Axiom 2: Every Interaction Has Content and Relationship Dimensions 21 Axiom 3: Every Interaction Is Defined by How It Is Punctuated 21 Axiom 4: Messages Consist of Verbal Symbols and Nonverbal Cues 21 Axiom 5: Interactions Are Either Symmetrical or Complementary 22 The Impact of Diversity and Culture 22 Diversity and Communication Style 22 Orientation and Cultural Context 23 Individual and Collective Orientation 23 High-Context and Low-Context Communication 24 The Impact of Gender 24 Gender and Communication Style 24 The Impact of Media and Technology 25 TRY THIS: What s Okay with You? 26 On the Way to Gaining Communication Competence 27 Add to Your Storehouse of Knowledge about Interpersonal Communication 28 Recognize How Your Relationships Affect You 28

2 Analyze Your Options 28 Interact Ethically, Respect Diversity, and Think Critically about Your Person-to-Person Contacts 28 REFLECT ON THIS: The Cell Effect 29 Practice and Apply Skills to Improve Interpersonal Performance 29 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Sylvia and Khalil 30 Chapter Summary 31 Check Your Understanding 32 Check Your Skills 32 Key Terms 33 CHAPTER 2. THE IMPACT OF SELF-CONCEPT 34 Learning Objectives 34 What Do You Know? 35 The Self-Concept: Your Answer to Who You Are 36 ANALYZE THIS: The Clown 37 TRY THIS: Who Are You? 38 How Are the Self and Self-Concept Related? 37 How Accurate Is the Self-Concept? 38 Self-Esteem: Assessing Self-Worth 39 High versus Low Self-Esteem 39 Self-Esteem and Performance 39 How Others Shape Our Self-Concept 40 We Reflect Others Appraisals 40 TRY THIS: Feelings about Age and Physical Ability 41 We Compare Ourselves with Others 41 We Have Perceived, Ideal, and Expected Selves 42 Goffman s Dramaturgical Approach 42 Imagining a Future Self 42 TRY THIS: The Authentic Self 43 Reactions to You: Confirming, Rejecting, and Disconfirming Responses 43 The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: The Influence of Positive and Negative Pygmalions 44 TRY THIS: Ups and Downs 45 Revising Your Self-Concept: Reexamining Impressions and Conceptions 46 Diversity and Culture in Relationships: How Important Is the I? 47 The Self in Individualistic and Collectivistic Cultures 47 REFLECT ON THIS: Changes 48 The Self in High- and Low-Context Cultures 49 The Self in High- and Low-Power-Distance Cultures 49 TRY THIS: Are You an I or Part of a We? 50 Attitudes toward the Self across Cultures 51 Gender and Self-Concept 51 TRY THIS: Young and Old 52 Seeing the Self through the Media and Technology Looking Glass 52 REFLECT ON THIS: Beauty Standards and Dying to Be Thin 53 The Impact of the Media 53 The Impact of Technology 54 ANALYZE THIS: MEdia 55 Ways to Strengthen Your Self-Concept 55 Update Pictures 55 Take Lots and Lots of Pictures 56 Explore Others Pictures of You 56 Picture Possibilities 56 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Aisha s Term Paper 57 Chapter Summary 58 Check Your Understanding 58 Check Your Skills 59 Key Terms 59 CHAPTER 3. PERCEPTION 60 Learning Objectives 60 What Do You Know? 61 Our Perception Defines Our Reality 62 Do We See the Same Realty? 62

3 Perception in Action: The Process at Work 63 Selection 64 Organization 65 Evaluation and Interpretation 66 Memory 66 Response 67 ANALYZE THIS: The Deceptiveness of Appearance 68 Frameworks of Perception 69 Schemata 69 Perceptual Sets and Selectivities 69 REFLECT ON THIS: Attribution Theory 70 TRY THIS: Lessons Learned 71 Ethnocentrism and Stereotypes 71 Barriers to Accurate Perception 72 REFLECT ON THIS: Stereotypes 73 Age and Person Perception 73 TRY THIS: The Appearance Factor 74 Fact-Inference Confusions 74 TRY THIS: Can You Tell the Difference? 75 Allness 75 Indiscrimination 75 ANALYZE THIS: Is That All There Is? 76 Frozen Evaluations and Snap Judgments 76 Blindering 78 Judging Others More Harshly than Ourselves 78 Diversity and Culture: Interpreting through Different I s 78 Gender and Perception 79 The Media, Technology, and Perception 80 The Media and Perception 81 Technology and Perception 82 Enhancing Your Perceptual Abilities 83 Recognize the Part You Play 83 Be a Patient Perceiver 83 TRY THIS: Facebook in Focus 84 Become a Perception Checker 84 Widen Your Perception 84 See through the Eyes of Another 85 Build Perceptual Bridges, Not Walls 85 Consider How Technology Is Changing How We Perceive 85 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Dax s Trial 86 Chapter Summary 87 Check Your Understanding 88 Check Your Skills 88 Key Terms 89 PART II: MESSAGES CHAPTER 4. LISTENING 90 Learning Objectives 90 What Do You Know? 91 Listening in Your Life 92 Differences between Hearing and Listening 93 The Differences between Effective and Ineffective Listeners 93 ANALYZE THIS: Understanding Understanding 94 Stages of Listening 95 TRY THIS: How s Your LQ (Listening Quotient)? 96 Stage 1: Hearing 97 Stage 2: Understanding 97 Stage 3: Remembering 97 Stage 4: Interpreting 98 Stage 5: Evaluating 98 Stage 6: Responding 98 Styles and Types of Listening 98 Styles of Listening 98 People-Oriented Listening 98 REFLECT ON THIS: When Is Listening Not First and Foremost? 99 Action-Oriented Listening 99 Content-Oriented Listening 99 Time-Oriented Listening 100 Types of Listening 100 Appreciative Listening 100 Comprehensive Listening 100 Critical/Deliberative Listening 100 Empathetic Listening 100 Listening Ethics 103 Do You Tune Out? 103 ANALYZE THIS: Active and Inactive Listening 104 Do You Fake Attention? 104

4 Do You Ignore Specific Individuals? 105 Do You Lose Emotional Control? 105 Do You Avoid Challenging Content? 106 Are you Egocentric? 106 Do You Waste Potential Listening Time? 106 Are You Overly Apprehensive? 106 Are You Suffering Symptoms of Listening Burnout? 106 Hurdling Listening Roadblocks 107 Responding with Feedback 107 Defining Feedback 108 Feedback Options 108 Feedback May Be Immediate or Delayed 109 Feedback May Be Person- or Message-Focused 109 Feedback May Be Low- or High-Monitored 109 Feedback May Be Evaluative or Nonevaluative 109 Culture s Influence on Listening 111 TRY THIS: It s in the I s 112 TRY THIS: Culture, Communication Style, and Feedback 113 Gender s Influence on Listening 113 Media and Technological Influences on Listening 114 Media Influences 114 Technology s Influences 115 TRY THIS: The Ethics of Illusionary Listening 116 Becoming a Better Listener 116 Catch Yourself Exhibiting a Bad Habit 116 Substitute a Good Habit for a Bad Habit 116 Listen with Your Whole Body 116 Consistently Use Your Ears, Not Just Your Mouth 116 See the Other Side 117 Don t Listen Assumptively 117 Participate Actively 117 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Nonlistening Flora 118 Chapter Summary 119 Check Your Understanding 119 Check Your Skills 120 Key Terms 120 CHAPTER 5. COMMUNICATING WITH WORDS 122 Learning Objectives 122 What Do You Know? 123 Defining Language 124 The Meaning of Words 124 The Triangle of Meaning 126 Removing Semantic Barriers 126 Differentiate Denotative and Connotative Meaning 127 Recognize How Time and Place May Change Meaning 127 TRY THIS: Measuring Meaning 128 Consider the Effect of Your Words 129 Euphemisms and Linguistic Ambiguity 129 Recognize Emotive Language 129 TRY THIS: Euphemisms and Strategic Ambiguity 130 Acknowledge the Power of Polarizing Language 130 Balance Politically Correct Language 131 Beware of Bypassing 132 REFLECT ON THIS: Which Do You Prefer? 133 Don t Be Misled by Labels 133 TRY THIS: Is It Politically Correct or Incorrect? 134 Language and Relationships: Communication Style, Words, and Feelings 134 ANALYZE THIS: Hurtful Words 135 Culturespeak 136 TRY THIS: The Language-Culture Link 139 Genderspeak 139 Language Can Diminish and Stereotype Women and Men 139 Language Practices Reflect Goals and Feelings about Power 140 Age and Language 141 REFLECT ON THIS: The Muted Group 142

5 Language, Media, and Technology 142 Experiencing Media 142 TRY THIS: How Would You Reengineer a Media Image? 143 Experiencing Technology 143 Making Your Words Work 144 Are My Words Clear? 144 Are My Words Appropriate? 144 Am I Using Words That Are Concrete? 144 Do My Words Speak to the Other Person and Reflect the Context? 145 Do I Share to Me Meaning? 145 Do I Respect Uniqueness? 145 Do I Look for Growth? 146 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Wounding Words 146 Chapter Summary 147 Check Your Understanding 148 Check Your Skills 148 Key Terms 149 CHAPTER 6. NONVERBAL COMMUNICATION 150 Learning Objectives 150 What Do You Know? 151 Defining Nonverbal Communication 152 The Functions and Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 152 The Functions of Nonverbal Cues 153 Characteristics of Nonverbal Communication 154 All Nonverbal Behavior Has Message Value 154 Nonverbal Communication Is Ambiguous 155 Nonverbal Communication Is Predominantly Relational 155 Nonverbal Behavior May Reveal Deception 155 TRY THIS: It s Not Just What You Say Reading Nonverbal Messages 158 Kinesics: The Messages of Movement 159 Face and Eye Talk 159 Putting on a Face: The Ethics of Face-Work 161 ANALYZE THIS: Facecrime 162 Gestures and Posture: The Body in Motion and at Rest 163 TRY THIS: The Ethics of Impression Creation 164 Decoding the Body s Messages 164 Paralinguistics: The Messages of the Voice 165 Pitch 166 Volume 166 Rate 166 Articulation and Pronunciation 166 REFLECT ON THIS: Ummmmmmm Hesitations and Silence 167 Proxemics: Space and Distance Talks 167 Spatial Relationships: Near or Far 168 Places and Their Spaces: Decoding the Environment 169 Territoriality: Yours and Mine 170 Haptics: Touch 170 Artifactual Communication and Appearance 172 Olfactics: Smell 173 Color: Associations and Connections 173 Chronemics: The Communicative Value of Time 174 Culture and Nonverbal Behavior 175 REFLECT ON THIS: Does Beauty Pay? 176 Gender and Nonverbal Behavior 177 TRY THIS: The Race Factor 178 Nonverbal Cues and Flirting: Expressing Interest or Disinterest 179 TRY THIS: Top Billing 179 Media, Technology, and Nonverbal Messages 180 TRY THIS: Can You Read the Cues? 182 Gaining Communication Competence in Nonverbal Communication 182 Pay Attention to Nonverbal Messages 182 When Uncertain about a Nonverbal Cue s Meaning, Ask! 183 Realize Inconsistent Messages Have Communicative Value 183 Match the Degree of Closeness you Seek with the Nonverbal Behavior You Display 183 Monitor Your Nonverbal Behavior 184

6 Acknowledge That Abilities to Encode and Decode Nonverbal Messages Vary 184 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Surprised Sam 185 Chapter Summary 186 Check Your Understanding 186 Check Your Skills 187 Key Terms 187 CHAPTER 7. CONVERSATIONS 188 Media Talk 204 Technology Talk 204 Improving Your Conversation Skills 206 Develop Metaconversational Abilities 206 Develop Awareness of How Culture and Gender Differences Affect Conversation 206 Strive to Improve Conversation Initiation, Management, and Termination Abilities 206 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Company Party 207 Chapter Summary 208 Check Your Understanding 208 Check Your Skills 209 Key Terms 209 PART III: DYNAMICS CHAPTER 8. EMOTIONS 210 Learning Objectives 188 What Do You Know? 189 The Importance of Conversational Contact 190 TRY THIS: Do You Like to Talk? 191 What Is Conversation? 191 TRY THIS: The Elevator 192 Conversation: Games and Players 192 Conversational Structure 192 TRY THIS: Conversational Analysis 193 The Greeting 194 Topic Priming 194 The Heart of the Conversation 195 Preliminary Processing 195 The Closing 196 Conversational Management 196 Turn Taking: Maintaining and Yielding the Floor 197 The Cooperation Principle 197 TRY THIS: Whose Turn Is It, Anyway? 198 The Dialogue Principle 198 ANALYZE THIS: Relationship Turns 199 Repairing Conversational Damage 200 Cultural Differences and Conversation 200 Gender Differences and Conversation 201 REFLECT ON THIS: Interruptitis 202 Media and Technology Talk 202 ANALYZE THIS: Don t Finish My Thoughts 203 TRY THIS: Squawk Talk 204 Learning Objectives 210 What Do You Know? 211 What Are Emotions? 212 Why Emotional Intelligence Is Important 213 The Look and Feel of Emotions 213 Surprise! 214 Anger 214 Happiness 215 Sadness 215 REFLECT ON THIS: Can Exercise Make You Happy and Less Stressed? 216 Fear 216 Disgust 216 Emotions: Primary, Mixed, and Contagious 216 Emotions Affect Evaluations 217 TRY THIS: Emotional Checkup 218

7 Relationships and Emotions 219 Are Your Emotions Facilitative or Debilitative? 219 What Do You Tell Yourself? 219 TRY THIS: Do You Have Resilience? 220 What Do You Tell Another Person? 220 ANALYZE THIS: Should You Tell? 221 What Is Your Emotional Attachment Style? 221 Culture and the Expression of Emotion 222 TRY THIS: Are You a Face-Saver? 223 Gender and the Expression of Emotion 223 Media and Technology: Channeling Feelings 224 Media Models 224 TRY THIS: Sharing Feelings 225 Technological Channels 226 TRY THIS: Modeling 227 Communicating Emotion 227 Recognize That Thoughts Cause Feelings 228 Choose the Right Words 228 Show That You Accept Responsibility for Your Feelings 229 Share Feelings Fully 229 Decide When, Where, and to Whom to Reveal Feelings 229 Describe the Response You Seek 229 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of Late Jean 230 Chapter Summary 231 Check Your Understanding 231 Check Your Skills 232 Key Terms 232 CHAPTER 9. TRUST AND DECEPTION 234 Learning Objectives 234 What Do You Know? 235 What Is Trust? 236 The Bases of Trust 237 The Components of Trust 237 Trusting Behavior 237 Trustworthy Behavior 237 TRY THIS: Can I Depend on You? Can You Depend on Me? 238 Failed Trust 238 Forgiveness: Rebuilding a Relationship after Trust Is Betrayed 239 ANALYZE THIS: Misplaced Trust 240 Cost-Benefit Theory: The Price We Are Willing to Pay for a Relationship 241 Defining the Relational Situation 241 TRY THIS: Relationship Balance Sheet 242 Cooperative and Competitive Relationships 242 TRY THIS: Cooperative or Competitive? 243 Supportive and Defensive Relationships 243 Evaluation versus Description 244 Control versus Problem Orientation 245 Strategy versus Spontaneity 245 ANALYZE THIS: On the Defensive 246 Neutrality versus Empathy 247 Superiority versus Equality 247 Certainty versus Provisionalism 248 Deception and Relationship Ethics 248 TRY THIS: Cornered 249 Why Do We Lie? 249 REFLECT ON THIS: Building Company Trust 251 White Lies: Motivation Matters 251 Lying to Ourselves: Defensive Strategies 252 Displacement 252 Repression 252 Rationalization 252 Relational Counterfeiters 252 The Effects of Lying 253 REFLECT ON THIS: Richard S. Lazarus and the Case for White Lies 254 The Effects of Gossip 254 Culture and Trust 255 TRY THIS: How Prepared Are You to Trust? 256 Gender and Trust 256 Media, Technology, and Lessons on Trust 257 The Media and Trust 257 Technology and Trust 258 Nurturing a Trusting Relationship 260 Be Willing to Disclose Yourself to Another Person 260 Let the Other Person Know You Accept and Support Him or Her 260

8 Develop a Cooperative/Supportive Rather than a Competitive/Defensive Orientation 260 Trust Another When Warranted 260 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Trusting Agent 261 Chapter Summary 262 Check Your Understanding 262 Check Your Skills 263 Key Terms 263 CHAPTER 10. POWER AND INFLUENCE 264 Learning Objectives 264 What Do You Know? 265 The Control Factor: Exploring the Balance of Power in Relationships 266 Feeling Powerful versus Powerless 266 Are You Socially Anxious? 266 Are You on a Power Trip? 267 Where Does Power Come From? 267 Power Categories 267 TRY THIS: What s Your Power Orientation? 268 Reward Power 269 Coercive Power 269 Expert Power 269 Legitimate Power 269 Referent Power 269 Persuasive Power 270 Exercising Persuasion 270 The Role of Attitudes 270 What Is an Attitude? 270 TRY THIS: Powerful People and Power Plays 271 Where Do Our Attitudes Come From? 271 The Role of Beliefs 272 What Are Beliefs? 272 TRY THIS: Assessing Attitudes and Surveying Beliefs 273 Defining and Characterizing Values 275 Gaining Compliance in Interpersonal Relationships 275 Strategies for Compliance Gaining 275 ANALYZE THIS: The Diary of a Young Girl 276 TRY THIS: Graphing Your Values 277 Strategies for Balancing Attitudes 279 Routes to Interpersonal Influence 281 TRY THIS: Tensions and Tactics 282 Diversity, Values, and Relational Power 283 Gender and the Balance of Power 284 TRY THIS: Who Has the Power? 285 REFLECT ON THIS: Power Issues by Gender 286 Media, Technology, and Power Shifts 286 Media Power 286 Technological Power 287 Controlling Relationships 288 Use Power Wisely 288 Understand How Beliefs, Values, and Attitudes Affect Interactions 288 Capitalize on the Need for Balance 288 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Power Moment 289 Chapter Summary 290 Check Your Understanding 290 Check Your Skills 291 Key Terms 291 CHAPTER 11. CONFLICT 292 Learning Objectives 292 What Do You Know? 293 The Meaning of Conflict 294 Conflict Defined 294 Conflict Is Based on Interaction 294 Feelings about Conflict 294 Functional Conflict 295 Dysfunctional Conflict 295 TRY THIS: Thinking through Conflict 296

9 Conflict s Sources 298 Interactions among Individuals 298 Conflict-Generating Behaviors 299 Preemptive Striking 299 Forcing 299 Blaming 299 Classifying Conflicts 299 The Nature of the Goal 299 The Intensity Level of the Conflict 299 TRY THIS: How Verbally Aggressive Are You? 300 The Character of the Conflict 301 Conflict Management Styles 302 Avoiding 302 Competitive 303 Compromising 303 Accommodative 303 Collaborative 304 TRY THIS: Where Are You on the Grid? 304 Communication Behavior in the Face of Conflict 305 Destructive Communication Behaviors 305 Constructive Communication Behaviors 306 DESC Scripts 307 Describe 307 Express 307 Specify 307 Consequences 307 Your Expressive Style: Nonassertive, Aggressive, or Assertive 308 TRY THIS: A Self-Assessment 309 Nonassertiveness 311 Why We Do Not Assert Ourselves 311 Nonassertive Language 311 Aggressiveness 311 Why We Act Aggressively 312 Aggressive Language 312 Assertiveness 313 Learning Assertive Behavior 313 Assertive Language 313 Culture and Conflict Resolution 315 ANALYZE THIS: Edward de Bono 316 Gender and Conflict Resolution 316 Media, Technology, and Conflict Resolution: Models or Madness 317 Media Portrayals: Model the Way 317 REFLECT ON THIS: Lessons Learned 318 Technology: Real and Unreal 318 TRY THIS: It s War! 320 Guidelines for Resolving Conflict 320 Recognize That Conflict Can Be Resolved Rationally 320 Agree about How to Define the Conflict 321 Exchange Perceptions: Describe, Express, Specify, and Note Behavioral Consequences 321 Assess Alternative Solutions and Choose the One That Seems Best 321 Implement and Evaluate the Selected Solution 321 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Jousting Roommates 322 Chapter Summary 323 Check Your Understanding 324 Check Your Skills 324 Key Terms 325 PART IV: RELATIONSHIPS IN CONTEXT CHAPTER 12. RELATIONSHIP DYNAMICS 326 Learning Objectives 326 What Do You Know? 327 Why Do We Need Relationships? 328 Relationships Preserve Happiness and Health 328 Relationships Prevent Isolation 329 Relationships Meet Interpersonal Needs 329 ANALYZE THIS: By Yourself 332 Relationships Serve as Behavioral Anchors 332 Relationships Function as Communication Conduits 332 TRY THIS: How Do You Feel about Being In /Out, Up/Down, or Close/Far? 333 When Good, Relationships Help Maintain Our Sense of Worth 333 Relationship Characteristics 334 Duration 334 Contact Frequency 334 Sharing 334 Support 334 Interaction Variability 334 Goals 335

10 Forming Friendships 335 The Nature of Intimacy 335 The Nature of Acquaintanceship 335 TRY THIS: Measuring Intimacy 336 The Nature of Friendship 336 Role-Limited Interaction 337 Friendly Relations 338 Moving toward Friendship 338 Nascent Friendship 338 Stabilized Friendship 338 Waning Friendship 338 Romance: Coming Together and Breaking Apart 339 Love s Dimensions 339 The Triangle of Love 340 Love s Stages 340 Stage 1: Initiating 341 Stage 2: Experimenting 341 Stage 3: Intensifying 341 Stage 4: Integrating 342 Stage 5: Bonding 342 Stage 6: Differentiating 342 Stage 7: Circumscribing 342 ANALYZE THIS: Status Updates 343 Stage 8: Stagnating 343 Stage 9: Avoiding 343 Stage 10: Terminating 344 TRY THIS: Looking at Your Relationships 345 Relationship Attractors 345 Physical Attractiveness 346 Social Attractiveness 346 REFLECT ON THIS: The Romantic Attraction Factor 347 Task Attractiveness 348 Proximity 348 Reinforcement 348 Similarity 349 Complementarity 349 TRY THIS: Attractors 350 Culture and Connection 350 Does the Culture Place More Stress on Individuals or on Social Relationships? 351 Does the Culture Promote the Development of Short- or Long-Term Relationships? 352 Does the Culture Value Results or the Interactional Process? 352 Gender and Relationship Formation 352 Media, Technology, and Social Worlds 353 Media Portrayals of Friendship and Romance 353 TRY THIS: Ties That Bind 354 Technology: Meeting in Cyberspace 354 Mastering Relationship Complexities 356 Understand That Relationships Don t Just Happen 356 Recognize Why We Need Others 357 Understand the Nature of Friendship and Romantic Relationships 357 Meet the Challenges Posed by Media and Technology 357 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Job Promotion 358 Chapter Summary 359 Check Your Understanding 360 Check Your Skills 360 Key Terms 361 CHAPTER 13. INTIMACY AND DISTANCE IN RELATIONSHIPS 362 Learning Objectives 362 What Do You Know? 363 Self-Disclosure and Intimacy 364 Social Penetration Theory 365 TRY THIS: Social Penetration in Casual and Intimate Relationships 367 The Johari Window and Self-Disclosure 367 REFLECT ON THIS: Sharing in Close Relationships 369 Using Relational Dialectics to Understand Relationships 371 TRY THIS: Window Gazing 372 Integration-Separation 372 Stability-Change 372 Expression-Privacy 373 Working through Dialectical Tensions 373 TRY THIS: Try to See It My Way 374 Relationship Maintenance 374 TRY THIS: What s Fair? 376 Relationship Repair: Fix It or End It 376 Identify the Problem 376 Identify Strategies to Repair the Problem 377 Decide to Dissolve or Save the Relationship 377

11 The Dark Side of Relationships: Dysfunctions and Toxic Communication 377 REFLECT ON THIS: Abusive Relationships 379 Relationships and Death: Processing Grief 380 Culture and Relational Intimacy 381 Gender, Intimacy, and Distance 382 ANALYZE THIS: Feelings 383 Media and Technology: The Decline of Privacy and Distance 383 Handling Both Relational Closeness and Distance 384 TRY THIS: At a Distance 385 How Important to You Is This Person? 385 Are You Willing to Initiate Interaction? 385 How Much and What Kind of Intimacy Do You Desire? 385 How Accepting Are You of the Other Person? 386 How Are You Willing to Support the Other Person? 386 Do You Recognize That Your Relationship Will Change? 386 Can Your Relationship Survive the Distance Test? 386 Do You Know When to Continue and When to End a Relationship? 386 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Plane Trip 387 Chapter Summary 388 Check Your Understanding 389 Check Your Skills 389 Key Terms 389 CHAPTER 14. RELATIONSHIPS IN OUR LIVES: FAMILY, WORK, AND HEALTH-RELATED CONTEXTS 390 Learning Objectives 390 What Do You Know? 391 The Nature of Familial Communication 392 The Family as Communication System 393 Family Members Are Interdependent 393 The Family Is Greater than the Sum of Its Parts 394 Family Members Engage in Mutual Influence 394 TRY THIS: Virginia Satir on Peoplemaking 395 Family Communication: Roles and Rules 395 ANALYZE THIS: Transitions 396 TRY THIS: The Rules We Live By 398 Communication Patterns in Families 398 Problematic Communication Patterns 398 Productive Communication Patterns 399 Your Family Network 399 Culture and the Family 400 Varying Family Composition 401 Varying Communication Styles 401 Varying Family Roles 401 TRY THIS: Role Call 402 Gender and the Family 402 Media, Technology, and the Family 403 Interpersonal Communication at Work 404 TRY THIS: The TV Family 405 Relationships Are the Organization 405 The Dyad and the Organization 405 A Question of Dependence and Independence 406 A Question of Trust 406 A Question of Perception 406 Networks, Interaction, and Relationship Satisfaction 407 Working in Teams 407 Create Healthy Work Climates 407 Practice Effective Decision Making 408 REFLECT ON THIS: The Effects of Groupthink 410 Culture and the Workplace 410 Are Workers Dominant or Submissive? 410 Are Workers Individualistic or Collectivistic? 411 How Do Workers Perceive the Need for Space? 411 How Do Workers Perceive Time? 411 How Diverse Are the Interpersonal Needs and Skills of Workers? 412 Are Members of Different Generations Prepared to Work Together? 413 Gender and the Workplace 413 TRY THIS: Culture Can Shock 414 Stereotypes of Women in Organizations 414 Stereotypes of Men in Organizations 415 Gender and Work-Life Balance 415 Leadership and Management Style 415 Workplace Pathologies: Bullying and Sexual Harassment 416

12 Media, Technology, and the Workplace 417 Media Portrayals 417 Technological Realities 417 Interpersonal Communication in Health Care Settings 418 The Consumer Health Care Provider Dyad 419 Sensitivity Matters 419 Clear Communication Matters 419 Perceptions Matter 420 Decision Making Matters 420 Culture and Health Communication 421 Gender and Health Care 422 Media, Technology, and Health Care 422 Media Messages 422 Technology Messages 423 Gaining Communication Competence across Contexts 423 Prepare to Handle Conflict across Contexts 424 Recognize That You Cannot Stay as You Are or Always Be Happy and in Good Health 424 Learn about Each Other 424 CONNECT THE CASE: The Case of the Problematic Reunion 425 Chapter Summary 426 Check Your Understanding 427 Check Your Skills 427 Key Terms 428 GLOSSARY 429 NOTES 436 PHOTO CREDITS 454 INDEX 456