Parenting and Self-Regulation
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1 Parenting and Self-Regulation Dr. Susan Hopkins, Ed.D. The MEHRIT Centre
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3 3 Goals of Our Self-Reg Session 1. Self- regula-on vs. self- control 2. You already know a lot of Self- Reg 3. Your Self- Reg ma=ers too!
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5 Shanker Self- Reg is a 5- step process for understanding STRESS and managing TENSION and ENERGY.
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11 Turned On in Fight or Flight Dilated pupils Adrenaline raises heart rate, blood pressure and rate of breathing Alertness and reac-vity enhanced Cor,sol metabolizes fat from fa=y cells and glucose from liver Hair stands on end Tunnel Vision Endorphins released Sweat glands open
12 Dimmed in Fight-or Flight Language and Communica-on Immune System Cellular Repair Prefrontal Cortex (PFC) Diges-on 12 Reproduc-on Constricted blood vessels in many parts of body Tears and Saliva Peripheral vision Changes in hearing
13 Stressors and Memory Cabin Banana Magazine Desk Bird Telephone Television Map Bed Frog Pancake Park Novel Sink Monkey Vase Peach Radio
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15 Four Signs of Allostatic Overload reac-on in an instant Over reac-on to situa-on Unusually long -me to cool off Vola-le / Emo-onal lability
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18 Shared with permission of Susan Hopkins and The MEHRIT Centre (self- reg.ca) for use in presenta-ons by children/graduates of The Shanker Method, Self- Reg Level 2 Facilitators training.
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25 Reframing NOT Thriving
26 Misbehaviour vs. Stress Behaviour Misbehaviour Blue brain ra,onal state! Blue brain directs the energy resources.! Behavior or ac5on was an inten5onal choice Stress Behaviour Red brain limbic state! Red (Limbic) brain directs the energy resources! has limited capacity to act differently Stress behaviour results from the stress backpack outweighing resources.
27 Stressors in My School Ac,vity
28 5 Self- Reg Domains: Stressors Biological Noises, crowds, too much visual s-mula-on, not enough exercise, lack of sleep, junk food Emotion Strong emo-ons, both posi-ve (over- excited) & nega-ve (anger, fear) Cognitive Difficulty processing certain kinds of informa-on Social Difficulty picking up on social cues, or understanding effect of behaviour on others Prosocial Difficulty coping with other people s stress; sense of injus-ce (may include misinterpre-ng stress behavior as misbehavior)
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30 Reduce the Stress Strategy Sort
31 My own State As a Co-Regulator Dysregulated Dysregula-ng Parent/ caregiver Regulated Regula-ng Parent / Caregiver
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33 Examples of Red Brain Parenting Yelling Humilia-ng Threats we don t mean Rou-ne chaos Losing our temper Giving it to make it stop
34 Take Some WE TIME INTENTIONAL -me together daily 15 minutes minimum is suggested for this. There is no right or wrong way to do WE TIME as long as it is pleasurable for everyone. W: Work goes away E: Electronics off T: Together -me I: Use your Imagina,ons M: Mindful of your child s needs E: Every day
35 Be the Barometer
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37 Not That Kind of Toolbox
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40 Take-Aways to Try Priori-ze sleep, yours as much as your child s Set Boundaries When you say no feel good about it. Then help your child through the strong emo-ons Forget the I Shoulda Coulda Wouldas Ask Why and Why Now, then go Stress Detec-ng Model Oops
41 Self- Reg Self- Control Self-Control focus With a self- control focus we: expect children to be in blue brain states expect children to inhibit impulses, suppress emo-ons, and manage behaviors With a Self- Reg focus we: Self Reg focus Recognize blue brain and red brain states effect ability to demonstrate self- control Recognize that when self- control is not available we ask why and why now and reduce stressors at root of learning, mood, and behaviour challenges
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45 Books by Dr. Stuart Shanker
46 Learn Self-Reg: Next Steps Our Foundations Program is a four-course designed and delivered by Dr. Stuart Shanker. There is also a Facilitator s program and a Master s Modules program Self-Reg Portal Plus is our online community for people interested in exploring Shanker Self-Reg. The Self-Reg Parent Portal is a moderated online community for parents interested in exploring The Shanker Method.
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