How to Avoid Pain! A Conversation on Loss & Healing

Transcription

1 How to Avoid Pain! A Conversation on Loss & Healing Northwest Ministry Network Annual Conference 2015 Coeur d Alene Resort Tuesday, April 28, 2015 Presenters: Rodney Wright, Executive Pastor rodneyw@lakecitycc.org Joanie Dwyer, Pastoral Counselor - joanied@lakecitycc.org Lake City Community Church Coeur d Alene, ID (208) AGENDA Introduction - Rodney Wright & Joanie Dwyer Grief Release Workshop Video A Personal Glimpse into Different Losses Introducing Grief Release Workshop Questions and Responses Discussion Introducing Ceremony of Remembrance A Step of Healing Loss & Grief Support Groups We Journey Together Bibliography & Helpful Handouts Questions and Responses

2 GOALS Loss and Grief Learn to identify your life s losses. Learn you are not alone. Learn to ask for help and accept it. Learn how to recognize your feelings and emotions and express them. Learn how to accept a support system. Doing life together. We are better together! Learn about our societal and cultural myths surrounding Loss/Grief and their impact on us. DEFINITIONS Grief - The feelings and emotions we experience inside of us when facing loss. Grief - The process of putting back together the pieces of a broken heart a hole so deep in the middle of your heart that it aches and hurts and you think it will never stop hurting. Mourning - The outward expressions of feelings, emotions and reactions to loss. Grief is the price you pay for loving. EDUCATION Understanding loss. Phases of grief - shock, suffering, release. Symptoms of grief. Obstacles of grief Acute grief can last about a year. Carry over grief can last from 2 5 years. Unresolved grief will last a lifetime. No two people grieve alike. It is very important that you do not compare yourself to someone else. Different personality types grieve differently. Working through grief is the hardest work you ll ever do. Feelings are a sign that healing is taking place.

3 TOOLS FOR WORKING THROUGH PAIN Tears Journaling Support System Embracing Feelings Physical Activity Gratitude List Trust Rituals New Normal Loss History Talking Forgiveness Venting Partner Self-Talk

4 Loss and Grief Grief Release Workshop Grief The process of putting back together the pieces of your broken heart a hole so deep in the middle of your heart that it aches and hurts and you think it will never stop hurting. - Joanne Pietrie Time alone will not heal the pain of loss. Unprocessed loss can last a lifetime. However, time combined with processing the pain can soften that pain and allow healing. The purpose the Grief Release Workshop is to provide a safe, curriculum-based class where participants can learn about practical tools and their application for processing loss of any kind. The curriculum is based on information from two leading experts in the field of loss and healing: Joann Pietrie and Alan Wolfelt. The workshop is presented in 2-hour classes held weekly for five weeks. Each participant receives a workbook, duplicating the PowerPoint presentation. Topics studied include: Symptoms of grief Understanding your feelings Anger Forgiveness Worry Vulnerability Guilt How to say goodbye Classes are facilitated by either one person or a team of two. It is very helpful if facilitators are individuals who have reconciled some of their own losses and found healthy ways to embrace a new normal. Facilitator training, along with workbooks, is available by contacting: Joanie Dwyer, Pastoral Care, Lake City Community Church; (208) , ext. 142; joanied@lakecitycc.org.

5 Community Resources for People in Loss and Grief Loss and Grief Due to Death Hospices Support Groups Books (see Bibliography) Counselors Bereavement Counselors Therapists Bereaved Parents Groups o The Compassionate Friends, ; Funeral Homes Grief Share Loss and Grief Due to Other Causes Celebrate Recovery; Alcoholics Anonymous; Al-Anon; Adult Children of Alcoholics; Narcotics Anonymous; Pure Desire Groups (for men); Betrayal and Beyond Groups (for women); Divorce Care; ARMS (Abuse Recovery Ministries & Services:

6 Loss and Grief NOTES

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8 Ceremony of Remembrance Event PURPOSE The holiday season is often a time of sadness and pain for those who have lost loved ones. It s difficult to navigate family and friend gatherings, with a heavy heart. We wanted to create a place where joy and sorrow could coexist, a supportive place where loved ones could be remembered and honored. This was the impetus for creating this event. The Ceremony of Remembrance is a Saturday morning brunch or continental breakfast designed to create a supportive place to honor loved ones who have passed away, whether recent or long ago. Attendees are given a complimentary ornament upon which they can write the name/s of those being honored. During the service, when the names are read, families or individuals take their ornament to one of the designated lighted Christmas trees and hang the ornament. After the service, the attendees reclaim their ornament to hang on their own Christmas trees. DETAILS Food Service Catered Brunch or In-house Volunteer Food Committee Full brunch or Continental Breakfast Tables, chairs, table decorations, table cloths, centerpieces, flatware, plates, napkins, cups Room Set Up/Tear Down Volunteers set up tables and chairs, complimentary ornaments, registration desk, Christmas trees, food service tables, the night before the event and tear down after event. Decorations Lighted Christmas trees to hang ornaments on as names are read Table cloths, Christmas decorations, centerpieces for tables Question cards on tables -Who are you honoring? - What is a fond memory you have of your loved one? Ornaments Christmas ornaments to give each family (usually one per family) Hooks for ornaments Permanent marker pens for writing names on ornaments

9 Speaker/s Individuals or panel discussion re: loss and healing Service Order of Service MC Speakers/s Music Name Reader/s Marketing Newspaper article Twitter Facebook Community calendars (online, radio, TV, newspapers, and community bulletin boards) Touch cards Hospices Church bulletin blurbs Church service slides Registration form for those not registering online Registration Pre-register online to give number of people coming to brunch (food counts) Pre-register online to give names of loved ones being honored Can register or add to honored names list on day of event Volunteers Needs: Food service (provide and/or serve) Registration Greeters Table hosts Set-up / Tear-down Decorations

10 Sources: People responding to church bulletin announcement of need Online volunteer registration Life Groups Grief Release Workshop past attendees NEXT STEPS Invite to Grief Release workshop Local grief resources Invite to weekend services One-on-one help