Welcome to Dealing with Difficult People

Transcription

1 Welcome to Dealing with Difficult People

2 Meet Julie Yesnick CAPS, CPM Julie has been an entrepreneur, business woman, real estate professional, educator, team leader and team builder and fitness enthusiast for the past 20 years. She has a Bachelor s Degree in Business Administration from The Ohio State University. She served 6 years in the Ohio Army National Guard. Julie is certified in numerous Emotional Intelligence instruments such as EQI2.0, EQ360, Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), FIRO-b, CPi260 and 360 Evaluation, DISC, and Team Dimension Profile. These instruments can provide the necessary soft skills focus so craved in the current business climate. Julie also provides meeting facilitation, development of curriculum, policy and training manuals, leadership coaching and modeling, as well as development and delivery of original educational content. Her goal is to Grow Key Employees for Optimal Results. Julie has a property management career spanning 20+ years. She started in student housing while completing her Bachelor s Degree in Business Administration at The Ohio State University. During her career she has filled roles as a Leasing Consultant, Property Manager, Regional Manager, Education Director, Vice President of Property Management for worked for well-known firms in the multifamily housing industry such as Village Green, UDR, EQR, The Gene B. Glick Co., Inc. and most recently Principal and President of her own firm, Pivotal Leadership LLC. Julie has earned the Certified Property Manager (CPM) designation from the Institute of Real Estate Management (IREM) and has served as the National Chairperson for the Education & Knowledge Products Committee for IREM. This volunteer role as Chairperson is to facilitate educational progress and be the go to venue for members by utilizing, refining and delivering IREM Education & Knowledge Products for all facets real estate management. Julie is a certified Johnson & Johnson, Human Performance Institute, Corporate Athlete. Her journey becoming a Corporate Athlete and then getting certified to train it has been one of the most important game changers in her life. To support this role, she is in pursuit for her Certified Personal Trainer License.

3 Dealing with Difficult People

4 Difficult People or Difficult Conversations?

5 Conflict Occurs When 1. Opinions vary 2. Stakes are high 3. Emotions run strong

6 Causes of Conflict Aggression Frustration Poor Leadership Distrust Gossip & Rumors Miscommunication Fear Anger Betrayal Unspoken Expectations Hurtful Words Irrelevant Differences Criticism Misunderstanding Each of these descriptors are EMOTIONAL in nature

7 Cycle of Conflict Others negative Behavior They continue negative behavior. Cycle continues You become confused, distrust, see them as enemy They re sure you re the enemy You withdraw and distance yourself from them They detect your negative behavior = less willing to negotiate You act negatively in response to them

8 What is Happening?!!? A conversation gets escalated.before you know it: Fighting fists or Flying feet from adrenaline - It s how we re designed Blood get diverted to large muscles instead of brain (where we need it!) We re under pressure to respond quickly We re stumped don t know where to start We act in self defeating ways When we conversations matter the most, we unfortunately are likely at our worst!

9 Possible Conflict Outcomes 1. We can avoid it 2. We can face it and handle it poorly 3. We can face it and handle it well

10 Style Under Stress Responses Watch for others slipping into: Fight or Flight What are some descriptors of both?

11 Style Under Stress Responses Each of us has an emotional root response to stress either Fight or Flight Being self aware of our own style (and others ) helps us have more productive conversations

12 Spot the Difficult Conversations The ones you aren t having but should be Why do we get Stuck? What do we suppose could help us get Unstuck? Identify the conversations that you aren t having or not having well, and find how this can positively impact your professional and personal relationships

13 Your Current Conflict Challenge Think of a Difficult Conversation you d truly like to have soon 1. Based on your Style Under Stress and their possible Style, anticipate what could potentially be the tone of the conversation? 2. How can you prepare yourself for this interaction so the ultimate outcome is favorable? Let s review some ways

14 C P R When thinking through the real issue of the difficult conversation, consider if it is: 1. Content Related A deadline was missed 2. Pattern Related Continued pattern of being late 3. Relationship Related We need to discuss our working/personal relationship

15 Start with Recall the conversation that you want to have/improve 1. Work on me first 2. Focus on what you REALLY want for yourself and for others 3. Behave as if you REALLY do what those things

16 Make it Safe Step out of the content.if people feel unsafe, makes no sense to try and discuss an issue Diagnose if there is: Lack of mutual purpose Lack of mutual respect Both Respect Purpose Clear Problem Apologize Create Mutual Purpose Misunderstanding Contrast Contrast

17 My Story is Facts are not the same as stories Watch for 3 clever stories Victim Villain Helpless

18 Ask Yourself Ask yourself: 1. Am I pretending to not notice my role in the problem? Would a reasonable, rational person do this? 3. What should I do right NOW to move toward what I really want?

19 STATE Your Path When we are sure we are right, we are at our worst and defensive with our stories S T Share your facts Tell your story Being right is an unhealthy goal Confident Not Abrasive A T Ask for others paths Talk tentatively E Encourage testing

20 Explore others Paths Ask to get things rolling Mirror to confirm Paraphrase Prime if getting nowhere

21 Take Action Decide how to decide: Command Consult Vote Consensus WWWF (Who does What by When and then Follow Up)

22 Julie Yesnick CAPS, CPM President, Pivotal Leadership LLC