Canadian Enneagram Conference 2015

Transcription

1 Canadian Enneagram Conference 2015 May 15 17, 2015 Toronto Terry St. Pierre Heather Marasse

2 Desired Outcome for Today s Session Purpose Introduce an integrated, practical way to use the Enneagram in conflict management Explore effective strategies for Coping With Difficult People (nine of them, as a matter of fact!)

3 Stress & Conflict Chronic state in most organizational settings You can lose your soul! The application of the Enneagram helps people get back to their best selves

4 Who is here: We are: Practitioners Business Consultants and Coaches You are: Advanced in your Enneagram exploration Probably aware of your Dominant Enneagram Type Interested in ways to put your Enneagram mastery into practice Aware that we are dealing with both ego and essence, and that mastery is all about returning to essence in conflict situations

5 Today s Agenda Recap of Collaboration (Hornevians) and Conflict Styles (Harmonics) Overview of 9 different types of Difficult People * Type Groups: a deeper dive into your Type Panel: 9 exemplars share their insight *Source: Coping With Difficult People by Robert Bramson

6 Collaboration Styles/Hornevians Sense of Self in Relation to Others A A Assertive Style (Types 3, 7, 8) - Moving against people demand to get their needs met - Sense of Self: Everything meaningful that is happening is in relation to me. - In response to stress or difficulty, their ego inflates - Become the center of attention A

7 Collaboration Styles/Hornevians Sense of Self in Relation to Others W Withdrawn Style (Types 4, 5, 9) - Moving away from people withdraw to get their needs met - Sense of Self: I am not a part of what is going on. - In response to stress or difficulty, they move away from engagement with the world emotionally disengage W W

8 Collaboration Styles/Hornevians Sense of Self in Relation to Others D D Dutiful Style (Types 1, 2, 6) Moving toward people (compliant to the superego) earn the right to get their needs met Sense of Self: I know better than others. In response to stress or difficulty, they need to determine the right thing to do Need to be of service to other people D

9 Collaboration Styles/Hornevians Sense of Self in Relation to Others A D A W W W D D A Assertive Style (Types 3, 7, 8) - Moving against people demand to get their needs met - Sense of Self: Everything meaningful that is happening is in relation to me. - In response to stress or difficulty, their ego inflates - Become the center of attention Withdrawn Style (Types 4, 5, 9) - Moving away from people withdraw to get their needs met - Sense of Self: I am not a part of what is going on. - In response to stress or difficulty, they move away from engagement with the world emotionally disengage Dutiful Style (Types 1, 2, 6) Moving toward people (compliant to the superego) earn the right to get their needs met Sense of Self: I know better than others. In response to stress or difficulty, they need to determine the right thing to do Need to be of service to other people

10 Conflict Groups/Harmonics Coping With Conflict P Positive Outlook Group (Types 2, 7, 9) - Reframe disappointments in a positive way - Avoid looking at anything painful or negative in themselves - Downplay / gloss over problems and want to get them settled as soon as possible P P

11 Conflict Groups/Harmonics Coping With Conflict C Competency Group (Types 1, 3, 5) - Put aside personal feelings - Want to be objective and competent - Have issues working within a system - Want to solve problems logically, efficiently, objectively, and with as little emotion as possible C C

12 Conflict Groups/Harmonics Coping With Conflict I Intensity Group (Types 4, 6, 8) - React emotionally to conflicts and problems - Look for an emotional response from others that mirrors their concern - Have strong likes and dislikes - Have difficulty knowing how much to trust other people - Simultaneously trust and distrust others I I

13 Conflict Groups/Harmonics Coping With Conflict P I I C P I C C P Positive Outlook Group (Types 2, 7, 9) - Reframe disappointments in a positive way - Avoid looking at anything painful or negative in themselves - Downplay / gloss over problems and want to get them settled as soon as possible Competency Group (Types 1, 3, 5) - Put aside personal feelings - Want to be objective and competent - Have issues working within a system - Want to solve problems logically, efficiently, objectively, and with as little emotion as possible Intensity Group (Types 4, 6, 8) - React emotionally to conflicts and problems - Look for an emotional response from others that mirrors their concern - Have strong likes and dislikes - Have difficulty knowing how much to trust other people - Simultaneously trust and distrust others

14 Bramson s Nine Difficult People Staller Sherman Tank Exploder Complainer Negativist Bulldozer Clam Superagreeable Sniper Conflict Styles Type 8: Sherman Tank Type 9: Staller Type 1: Bulldozer Type 2: Super agreeable Type 3: Sniper Type 4: Clam Type 5: Negativist Type 6: Complainer Type 7: Exploder

15 Recap: Collaboration, Conflict, Difficult People Withdrawn, Positive Outlook, Staller Assertive Intensity Sherman Tank Dutiful Competency Bulldozer Assertive Positive Outlook Exploder 7 2 Dutiful Positive Outlook Super-agreeable Dutiful Intensity Complainer 6 3 Assertive Competency Sniper Withdrawn Competency Negativist 5 4 Withdrawn Intensity Clam

16 Exercise: Type Groups With people of your Dominant Type: Explore how these Collaboration/Conflict/Difficult styles manifest for you? How is it difficult for you? How is it difficult for others? What works? What brings you back to your better self? What can others do/provide? Select an exemplar for the panel

17 Panel Exemplar for each Type What is most important for people to know about your Type in a difficult situation? What goes on for you? Physically, emotionally, intellectually? What works to bring you back to your best self?