1 Englewood City Council Group-Dynamics Session The meeting began at 6:00 p.m. and concluded at 9:55 p.m. Monday, November 14, 2016

Transcription

1 MINUTES City Council Study Session Meeting Monday, November 14, 2016 Malley Senior Center Flat Irons Room 3380 S. Lincoln Street 6:00 PM COUNCIL PRESENT: COUNCIL ABSENT: STAFF PRESENT: Legislative Services Manager Community Services Manager Director of Public Works 1 Englewood City Council Group-Dynamics Session The meeting began at 6:00 p.m. and concluded at 9:55 p.m. Monday, November 14, 2016 Minutes Attendees: Mayor Joe Jefferson, Mayor Pro Tem Rick Gillit and Council Members Laurett Barrentine, Amy Martinez, Linda Olson, Rita Russell and Steve Yates. The session was facilitated by Gregg Piburn, President of Leader s Edge Consulting. Also attending was Coween Dickerson, Englewood citizen. Agenda: Stage Setting, Communication Models/Tools, Group Dynamics/Cohesiveness Handouts distributed during the session (attached): Stage Setting, Universal Hot Buttons, Gravitational Extremism and The Drama Triangle Key purpose of this session: The entire focus was on how to improve the group dynamics of the City Council for the benefit of Englewood citizens and the City of Englewood organization. The discussions on Stage Setting & Communication Models/Tools were based on the 4 attached handouts and facilitated by Gregg Piburn. This discussion included the importance of seeking clarity, which (according to input from the Council) brings enlightenment, understanding, trust, new appreciation and success. Page 1 of 9

2 The discussion on Group Dynamics/Cohesiveness included brainstormed ideas of what would be evidence of a healthy and cohesive Council. A focus on issues rather than personalities Trust and open communication Drama-free meetings Respectful interactions Validation of opinions even if there is not agreement Agree to disagree as openly and respectfully converse Respect even if there is strong disagreement Not making decisions based on assumptions Not necessarily having unanimous votes Not letting niceness detract from being productive Not looking for got chas to put fellow Council members in a bad situation or light Not holding on to the past Not acting as 7 lone wolves Not being inefficient or ineffective Potential benefits of living up to the bulleted items above would include: For Englewood citizens Better representation from the Council More trust in their elected officials Better products and services For the City of Englewood organization Greater efficiency Greater morale Healthy leadership For the Council Better public perception of the group Greater efficiency and effectiveness Greater productivity City Council Study Session November 14, 2016 CAO Mayor Page 2 of 9

3 The Drama Triangle A few points about the triangle and work-related dysfunction and/or conflict + This simple graphic says a lot about group dysfunction and conflict. + The negative cycle continues as long as participants stay within the 3 roles. + Persecutor communicates in Harsh Light and pushes hot buttons. + Victim communicates in False Light and often seeks help of the Rescuer or defensively responds back in Harsh Light, Persecutor to Persecutor. + The Rescuer might turn Persecutor when going to the original Persecutor. + Individuals can take on different roles during the same conversation or issue. + The key is for at least 1 person to be the Professional/Adult and not play any of the 3 roles. + The Professiona/Adult communicates in Rich Light, seeking clarity rather than playing roles. Page 3 of 9

4 Page 4 of 9

5 Gravitational Extremism The tendency to exaggerate and/or polarize. 1: Sparks unnecessary conflict or causes it to explode 2: Confirmation bias perpetuates the chasm between individuals or groups 3: Compromise is considered a cowardly copout rather than a positive norm 4: The focus is on positions rather than shared interests 5: We treat each other hard We re right, you re dead wrong (even demonize) 6: And we treat the issue soft end of discussion. 7: Special interests (the 10% on either extreme) are more important than the whole 8: Passive-aggressive behavior and back-stabbing keep relationships weak 9: Harsh Light communication dominates discussions 10: The Drama Triangle is alive and well 11: Interpretation is ignored or haphazard 12: Confident humility takes a backseat to hubris Gregg Piburn * * gp@leadersedgeconsulting.com Copyright Leader s Edge Consulting, Inc., 2015 Page 5 of 9

6 Page 6 of 9

7 What starts conflict? Usually it involves someone or something violating an individual s comfort zone, pushing a hot button. I will likely push your hot button if I say or do something that makes you feel: 1. As if I ve taken legitimate and desired control from you. 2. De-valued or unloved. 3. Decreased self-worth. + When was a recent time someone pushed one of your hot buttons and what was your response? + When was a recent time you pushed someone s hot button and what was his/her response? + Being aware of these 3 universal hot buttons can help prevent you from pushing someone s hot button or being aware of why you or another responds so emotionally. So be careful with those buttons they are hot. Conflict & Courage Page 7 of 9

8 Page 8 of 9

9 Set the stage 3 Foundational Philosophies 1. Life is difficult. 2. We re all imperfect. 3. Use whatever happens as learning or teaching opportunities. R O ; C H 4 Levels of Light Rich light Where people openly, honestly and courageously (with the right motives) address relevant and/or difficult issues promptly. + Dialogue + Right motives + Address conflict + Trust Breakthrough light Where a crisis or a courageous communicator forces the group to discuss, without the masks on, a tough issue in a new, uncomfortable and honest way. + Vulnerability + Discomfort + Give up the game + Relief Harsh light Where people display questionable motives and intimidating communication to win arguments, display power and/or belittle others. + Debate + Questionable motives + Back stabbing + Defensiveness False light Where people hide behind figurative masks, rather than convey true thoughts or feelings, because the real goal is to avoid conflict and discomfort at virtually all costs. + Masks in place + Comfort + Avoid conflict + Dead-moose carcasses The Results Model Event Response Result Gregg Piburn * gp@leadersedgeconsulting.com Page 9 of 9