REFRESH YOUR LIFE TODAY am pm MANAGING STRESS pm 1.00 pm THE SCIENCE OF BOUNCIBILITY pm HEALTH AND HAPPINESS

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1 REFRESH YOUR LIFE Shane Martin Reg.Psychol.Ps.,S.I. TODAY 9.30 am pm MANAGING STRESS pm 1.00 pm THE SCIENCE OF BOUNCIBILITY pm HEALTH AND HAPPINESS Open-mindedness Space Time-out Respecting each other s privacy No need for personal sharing Support Hearing ourselves 1

2 What do You See? Web: Moodwatchers is on Facebook Moodwatchers blog What do You See? What do You See? 2

3 What do You See? What matters most? (c) moodwatchers HEALTH HAPPINESS MONEY? RESILIENCE Happiness counts.. Happier people live longer Happier children learn better Happier people encounter less disease Happier employees last longer in their jobs and are more loyal to their work Five realities We are all vulnerable We will all face challenges, crises We underestimate our own potential to cope during the challenging times We live this life ONCE Everyone is entitled to the best possible life 3

4 What as psychology researched? Illness What is wrong with people Why people fall down (c) moodwatchers (c) moodwatchers What does psychology provide? Interventions for people when they have symptoms Assessment and reports about what is wrong and what is causing it Theories for failure rather than success Tests to see how weak you are, how low your mood is, how anxious or stressed you are? Science is as good as it gets Science can be applied to help us understand what makes us healthier and happier Authentic happiness What keeps us strong during the challenging times? What is right about us? Harnessing inner-strengths - 8 to 0 but also 2+ to 8+ 4

5 A degree of stress is helpful MANAGING STRESS We all bark and bite!! Stressful events merit stress. Prolonged stress is bad for us Unhealthy stress eats away at our health and happiness The Role of Thinking within Stress At the heart of stress is stressful thinking How we make sense of things How we see ourselves in the world Conclusions we make about ourselves, others and the world The Role of Thinking within Stress Bias thinking Irrational thinking Private thinking Powerful thinking 5

6 The Power of Thinking Affects our physiology STRESS Prolonged stress impacts on our general physical health Prolonged stress is often an inroad to mental illness STRESS PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL BEHAVIOURAL Impact on the Physical Appetite Cold hands/feet Constipation Diarrhoea Dry mouth Sweating Facial twitches or tics Need to loo Indigestion Tiredness Irregular breathing Headache Impact on the Physical Chest pain Palpitations Rashes Stomach ache Sleep problems Weight loss/gain Frequent colds/flu Muscle tension Choking voice Tired eyes Nausea 6

7 Impact on the Emotional Impact on the Behavioural Feeling tense/nervous Apprehensive/anxious Suspiciousness Gloominess Fussiness Low enthusiasm Cynicism Alienation Less confident De-motivated Feeling under attack Less social Claiming to be too busy to relax Eating fast Low productivity Managing time poorly Driving badly Smoking/drinking more Taking work home/ thinking of work at home Withdrawal from supportive relationships MOODWATCHERS Impact on the Behavioural Being ratty Obsessed with punishing the enemy Less friendly to others Not smiling No humour moodwatching We are thinkers We do a lot of thinking A lot of our thinking is automatic (learned) We do not stop and reflect on how we think 7

8 MOODWATCHERS MOODWATCHERS moodwatching Our thinking affects our physiology We are not aware of the link between our thinking and our mood. How we think affects how we feel and in turn influences our behaviour. moodwatching How we think influences our approach to life The sense we make of our own circumstances is crucial The meaning we attach to things INTERNAL DIALOGUE AUTOMATIC SELF-TALK LIFE EVENTS HOW I FEEL MOODWATCHERS MOODWATCHERS HOW I THINK 8

9 LIFE EVENTS MOODWATCHERS INTERNAL DIALOGUE AUTOMATIC SELF-TALK HOW I FEEL Our private world of thoughts, our interpretation of past and present, our predictions for the future are very powerful influences on mood HOW I THINK MOODWATCHERS THE WAY WE THINK INFLUENCES OUR BEHAVIOUR THOUGHTS FEELINGS BEHAVIOUR 9

10 MOODWATCHERS THE SENSE WE MAKE OF OUR WORLD IS CRUCIAL HOW WE SEE OURSELVES, OTHERS AND THE WORLD WHEN CHALLENGED CORE BELIEFS STRESS BUILDING BELIEFS Perfectionism Control People Pleasing Competence 10

11 MOODWATCHERS MOODWATCHERS Exploring the thought: THE WAY WE THINK INFLUENCES OUR BEHAVIOUR Is it helpful? Is it fair? Is it absolutely true? MOODWATCHERS MOODWATCHERS It is not events per se which determine our feelings but the meaning that we attach to these events. When stressed our thinking becomes more rigid and distorted 11

12 MOODWATCHERS The Role of Thinking When emotionally upset incoming information is distorted with a negative bias in thinking No openmindness What type of thinking are we applying? Becoming aware of the type of automatic thinking we apply When stressed we are thinking stressful things These stressful thoughts maintain stress and produce very real symptoms Very real consequences Is what I am thinking helping me? Is what I m thinking fair? Is what I m thinking true? Am I right to be as annoyed as I am? Does it really matter? How long do I want to be annoyed for? Have I got good advice or am I making conclusions on my own? Am I my own best or worst coach? 12

13 The Science of Bouncibility Shane Martin Reg.Psychol.Ps.S.I. Web: ADDRESSING THE BIAS WHAT IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WEAKNESSES WHY PEOPLE FALL WHAT KIND OF FALL THEY GOT THE REALITIES OF LIFE CHALLENGES ARE PART OF THE JOURNEY CRISES ARE INEVITABLE WE NEED TO KNOW HOW TO STAY STRONG HOW TO KEEP OURSELVES TOGETHER HOW TO FIX WHAT IS BROKEN 13

14 Three realities We are all vulnerable We will all face challenges, crises We underestimate our own potential to cope during the challenging times How come some people can pick themselves up? How come some others don t; they become stuck? How come some people can box cleverly during crisis? And others are knocked out with the first blow? What is resilience? Resilience is the process of, capacity for, or outcome of successful adaption despite challenging or threatening circumstances (Master, Best & Garmezy, 1990) What is resilience? More than education, more than experience, more than training, a person s level of resilience will determine who succeeds and who fails. That s true in the cancer ward, it s true in the Olympics, and its true in the boardroom. Dean Becker, Harvard Business Review 14

15 What is resilience? Resilience is predicated on exposure to significant threat or adversity, and on the attainment of good outcomes despite this exposure. (Luthar, Cicchetti & Becker, 2000) Why the interest in resilience? If we can find and identify elements of resilience, then ways of helping those with low resilience could be developed. In a stressful, recession stricken, fast-changing world, boosting resilience in individuals, families and communities could have very beneficial effects GREAT NEWS It can be learned New research New interventions (particularly for children) Same interventions improve resilience in adults GREAT NEWS Doesn t mean that you have to become as hard as nails You are still entitled to the best possible life The next chapter in your life could be the best one ever Change can be terrifying but sometimes it s exactly what we need 15

16 Resilience A unique journey Unique for each person Certain factors are consistently shown to be important HOWEVER, SOME PEOPLE THRIVE THROUGH ADVERSITY What do the survivors have? What do survivors have that shattered people do not have? We are smarter than we think. The brain can learn from experience People can learn to respond differently to manage stress better To bounce back from adversity People can choose new experiences that create new coping strategies Strengthen their response flexibility Recover their resilience and well-being Quotes There are no mistakes when there is learning. Julia Butterly Hill It s not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptive to change. Charles Darwin 16

17 The power point Between a stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom. The last of human freedoms is to choose one s attitude in any given set of circumstances. The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience Reivich, Karen; Shatté, Andrew (2002) Viktor Frankl, Austrian psychiatrist and survivor of Auschwitz The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 1. EMOTIONAL AWARENESS OR REGULATION The ability to identify what you re feeling and express your emotions, and when necessary, the ability to control your feelings Not being governed by your emotions Minding yourself Watch out for anger! The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 2. IMPULSE CONTROL Highly resilient people are able to tolerate ambiguity so they don t rush to make decisions. They sit back and look at things in a thoughtful way before acting Don t panic! The need for rational thinking thinking straight 17

18 INTERNAL DIALOGUE AUTOMATIC SELF-TALK Our private world of thoughts, our interpretation of past and present, our predictions future are very powerful influences on our approach to crisis/change. THE WAY WE THINK INFLUENCES OUR BEHAVIOUR Thoughts! feelings! behaviour THE SENSE WE MAKE OF OUR WORLD IS CRUCIAL HOW WE SEE OURSELVES, OTHERS AND THE WORLD WHEN CHALLENGED 18

19 The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 3. OPTIMISM Having an optimistic explanatory style Realistic optimism Optimism which facilitates problem-solving wed to reality Engaging with the optimist Contemplating the optimistic view The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 4. CAUSAL ANALYSIS This means the ability to think comprehensively about the problems /challenges you confront. Looking at problems from many perspectives, considering many factors and consulting with others The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 5. EMPATHY People who score high on emotional awareness and understand their emotions tend also to score high on empathy the ability to read And understand the emotions of others Seeing others, supporting others Enhancing our sense of team Helps build relationships and gives social support The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 6. SELF-EFFICACY Confidence in your ability to solve problems. Knowing what your strengths and weakness are and relying on your strengths to cope Different than self-esteem it is not just about feeling good about yourself it s a skills-based mastery of coping Playing to your strengths 19

20 The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience 7. REACHING OUT Being prepared to take support Taking all the help you can get Remaining social Willing to try things and see failure as a temporary setback not as a life crisis The Seven Learnable Skills of Resilience Not an exhaustive list Don t need to score high in them all to be given the stamp of resilience Major progress occurs by even considering which of the seven factors we are strong at and playing to these strengths as much as possible Every factor can be worked on YOUR PRECIOUS LIFE: How to live it well Shane Martin Reg.Psychol.Ps.S.I 20

21 Simple strategies Cost free Scientifically validated Can be started instantly Health and happiness need work A degree of stress is helpful Prolonged stress is bad for us Unhealthy stress eats away at our health and happiness Thinking colours mood Rational thinking is key Knowing how we feel Knowing how others feel 21

22 Consulting / Practical advice and solutions Watch out for KNOW-ALL-ISM The power of questions Not to be governed by panic You share imperfection with your fellow beings Self-blame Over analysing Exclusive rights to stress You're not on your own! We all make mistakes Worse things have happened others You need to mind yourself not hammer yourself 22

23 1986 National Institute on Aging undertook a long-term research project The clinical benefits of kind acts Putting our worries into context Physiological rewards Seeing the world 3,617 participants Two groups one group did volunteer work and one didn t Surveys at 1986, 1989, 1994, 2006 Better mental and physical health for first group Failures are temporary setbacks! Never underestimate your own potential Doing different things, doing things differently Change (even forced change) can produce opportunities 23

24 Being social staying social The greatest friend of depression is solitude Getting away from it all Joining clubs and organisations Volunteering Starting new things courses etc. Quality time with you Quality time with family Psychologists have shown that social ties and increased contact with family and friends are associated with a lower risk of illness What s more, a 2010 meta-analysis of 148 studies showed that social connection doesn t just help us survive health problems but the lack of it causes them (Williams, 2011) The anterior cingulate cortex the same structure involved in the emotional component of physical pain light up when we are lonely or detached Physiological effects of exclusion 24

25 Counting our blessings Looking at what is right about our lives Celebrating all the things that we have rather than always talking about the things we don t have Digging deep Savouring golden moments or days Grateful individuals report higher positive mood, optimism, life satisfaction, vitality, and less depression and envy than less grateful individuals (McCullough, Emmons, & Tsang, 2002). Grateful people tend to be more helpful, supportive, forgiving, empathic, and agreeable (McCullough, Emmons, & Tsang, 2002) The practice of gratitude (counting blessings) is linked to fewer physical symptoms, more optimistic life appraisals, more time exercising, improved well-being and optimal functioning (Emmons & McCullough, 2003) 25

26 Respecting the past but not being governed by it Not letting the past hold you back Over anxious about the future Today is a gift Make today count! Doing the things we love best Doing the things we are best at Starting new things Switching the channel Being stretched 26

27 Sense of purpose It s not all about me! Life as a journey The benefits of prayer Investing in our spirituality: MINDFULNESS 9. Mind your body EXERCISE, DIET, SLEEP Laughing one hundred times amounts to the same exercise as riding a stationary bike for fifteen minutes. Five minutes of intense laughter can double the heart rate. Three minutes of laughter is equivalent to three minutes on a rowing machine. Laughter stimulates circulation, tones muscles, energises lungs and stimulates endorphins in the immune system. Dr William Fry (Stanford University) 27

28 Web: Moodwatchers is on Facebook Moodwatchers blog 28