Self- and/or Soul-Esteem 1

Transcription

1 Religious and Ethical Studies Grades 7 12 Developing Self-Esteem Developing Self-Respect Self- and/or Soul-Esteem 1 Contributor Gabrielle Byrne, Assistant Principal, Notre Dame School, Leduc, Alberta. Scriptural Base Before I formed you.... I knew you. (Jeremiah 1:16) Objectives To understand the term self-esteem To reflect on students personal experiences that contributed to self-esteem To recognize behaviors that indicate high self-esteem To understand that self-esteem can change Time 60 minutes Materials Chart paper/markers Overhead projector Overhead 1 Sharing comes from List of behaviors (see Appendix 1 Forgiveness) Behaviors (see Appendix 2 Behaviors) The scriptural quote above written on chart paper or board Getting Started Teachers role-play a scene in which the students demonstrate low self-esteem. Immediately, the teacher presents a scene demonstrating the opposite scenario. Development 1. Read and discuss this lesson s scriptural verse. Discuss which role-play was in keeping with the quote from the scripture. 2. Initiate a class discussion around the question, What is self-esteem? 3. Recall common experiences that affect self-esteem. Record each in a word or phrase on a chart. 4. Have the students read Overhead 1 Sharing comes from and explore the meaning of both statements. 1 This is lesson 2 from Fostering Peacemakers. Unpublished masters project, Newman Theological College, Edmonton, AB, 1999.

2 5. Using Appendix 2, have students move to the right side of the room if the behavior identified represents high self-esteem. Students move to the left side of the room if the behavior identified represents low self-esteem. Closure Remind students that the more we do to build a sense of pride in ourselves as precious children of God, the stronger our self-esteem will be. The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 2

3 Overhead 1 Sharing comes from your own generosity toward others. It is not diminished by an inappropriate response from the receiver. I am not what you think I am, I am not what I think I am, I am what I think you think I am. The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 3

4 Appendix 1 Forgiveness In a summary of their article on forgiveness, Enright, Gassin and Wu Ching-Ru 2 analyze the process of interpersonal forgiveness. They consider how people think about forgiving each other by examining philosophical and psychological literature that report research in this area. They describe the process individuals go through as they journey along the road to forgiveness. Enright, Gassin and Wu Ching-Ru maintain that forgiveness involves the affective, cognitive and behavioral systems and that when one forgives, certain elements are subtracted from each system (p.101). As negative emotions are released, cognitively one ceases to be judgmental and vengeful. As these negative feelings and thoughts are neutralized, the resulting behaviors also diminish. Further, the authors state, as these negative elements are given up, they are replaced by neutral and eventually emotionally positive ones, such as compassion. There is a potential for the forgiver to experience both inner release and a healed relationship (p.101). The definition of forgiveness is expanded by several additional statements on what forgiveness is and is not. The authors state that forgiveness is the following: Possible only when a person has a sense of justice children as young as four or five might need to forgive Something that takes time and can be a long, difficult journey Not needing the offender to apologize Transformative for both self and other A choice that should not be forced onto a person a gift must be freely offered (p.101 2) Active and takes energy On the other hand, forgiveness is not the following: Forgetting Reconciliation Condoning the other s act by saying, Oh well, he just couldn t help it Pardon or letting the other off the hook Indifference (p.101 2) The authors also deal effectively with various historical philosophical objections to forgiveness that perceive it as weakness, such as reversing societal justice, perpetuating injustice, projecting moral inferiority on the offender and as producing hypersensitivity to hurt. A formal construction of psychological models of forgiveness was attempted by the authors. They develop styles of forgiveness and compare them to Kohlberg s six stages of justice. These styles progress from pre-forgiveness in style one and two to style six, where an individual understands that principles take precedence over societal functioning (p.107). They convincingly state that forgiveness is an important component of counseling and moral 2 Enright, R. Gassin, E. and Ching-Ru Wu Forgiveness: A Developmental View, Journal of Moral Education, 21(2) 1992, p The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 4

5 education. They quote several studies that support their view and emphasize that it is imperative that educators and counselors present to their students and clients what forgiveness is not. It is most important, they assert, that within the school setting, classroom discussion lead students to as clear as possible an understanding of forgiveness. Finally, the authors conclude with a short discussion of incorporating principles of mercy into educational institutions. Included in this would be the expectation of the notion of equality and the implication this has for forgiveness and how we treat each other. The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 5

6 Appendix 2 Behaviors Encouraging and supporting others (H) Giving yourself put-downs (L) Considering your choices before making a decision (H) Doing your best even when it s hard (H) Telling other people you are better, smarter, faster, more attractive than they are (bragging comes from feelings of insecurity) (L) Being proud of your effort, even if you don t succeed (H) Feeling jealous of others much of the time (note: jealousy is a normal feeling if not excessive) (L) Seeing positive things in others (H) Constantly picking fights (L) Attempting to learn new things, even though you may not succeed (H) Telling others what you think and how you feel in a way that doesn t put down (insult) anyone else (H) Bossing your friend around (the need to control others often comes from feelings of insecurity) (L) Picking only popular people for friends (secure people can be friends with whomever they want) (L) Caring about the feelings of others (H) Always wanting your own way (L) Risk rejection from peers but doing what you believe is right (H) Always blaming others for something you did (L) Admitting when you ve done something wrong (H) Talking others into doing things they don t want to do (people who need to control others often don t feel in control of themselves) (L) The Society for Safe and Caring Schools and Communities 6