MINDSET MATTERS. Marla Warner BSc CWC CAPP Wellbeing and Productivity Coach and Consultant

Transcription

1 MINDSET MATTERS Miller Thomson LLP March 14th, 2018 Marla Warner BSc CWC CAPP Wellbeing and Productivity Coach and Consultant Where we re going What is Resilience? Understand Growth vs. Fixed mindset How and Why are these mindsets relevant to legal professionals? What is resilient thinking? Putting it all together moving toward thriving

2 Thrive To be a good lawyer, one has to be a healthy lawyer. T he Path to Lawyer Wellbeing: Practical Recommendations for Positive change Mindset and Resilience...a set of beliefs or a way of thinking that determines one s behavior, going in prepared outlook and adapting and learning growing and gaining tools mental attitude developed over time when planned into daily actions

3 Personality Traits High autonomy needs Perfectionists Problem Solvers Self-Reliant Rationalizers Skeptical Trained Pessimists Rewarded for worst case scenario thinking Mindset Influencers 9/10 Score Low in Resilience Take things personally Failure not an option Can t handle uncertainty Culture Stress is normalized Struggle is valued Competitive market Win/Lose Where in life have you had an Either you got it or you don t mentality? I m not good at networking. I m a natural at networking.

4 7 Know thy Mindset 8 Two Mindsets Fixed Mindset Growth Mindset You are born with a certain IQ you can learn a great deal, but you can t significantly change your IQ. You either have it or you don t. You are not born with a certain IQ and you can significantly change your IQ. If you don t have it (yet), you can develop it

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6 Fixed vs. Growth Affects our motivation towards. Goals Response s to Failure Effort Strategies for Solutions Mindset can affect Goal Setting Fixed Mindset Says Growth Mindset Says Looking smart is most important. Learning is most important. My main goal in my work is to Its important that I do my best but show how good or smart I am. Consequences Tend to set Performance goals. Aim to receive validation from others. Both success and failure cause anxiety. more important that I learn along the way. Consequences Tend to set Learning goals. The goal is Mastery and Competence.

7 Mindset can affect Responses to Failure or Challenge Fixed Mindset Says Growth Mindset Says Failure or challenge means I am Failure or challenge means I have not talented. What if I lose this file? What will my colleagues/clients/friends think of me? not worked hard enough. What if I lose this file? That means I will just have to learn more and try harder next time. Responses Responses Speak negatively about themselves. Uses permanent labels such as: They ll think I m a loser. Binocular effect: minimize past successes and magnify failures. Pay attention to information that might improve their learning. Focus on what they are learning rather than how they feel. Mindset and Effort Beliefs Fixed Mindset Says Growth Mindset Says Effort is negative Effort is positive. When I have to work hard at The harder you work at something, it makes me feel like I m not very smart. Consequences something, the better you ll be. Consequences View effort as a reflection of low intelligence/ability. Effort is a necessary and natural part of success. Having to work hard means I am not cut out for this. I m not smart. Effort = success.

8 15 Being Smart Mindset can affect the Strategies we use to attain Success Fixed Mindset Says Growth Mindset Says I don t like challenge. I thrive on challenge. Its not my fault I lost this case. This experience has taught me a lot. Consequences Consequences Keep using the wrong strategy when faced with a problem. Tend to generate novel ways to do things. Disengage or give up easily. Try many routes to success. Will lie about their performance. Will try harder and differently.

9 Can Mindset Change? Can it be Taught? YES Judging Learning Fixed Mindset Growth Mindset

10 4 Steps to Changing Mindsets 1. Learn to hear your fixed mindset voices. 2. Recognize that you have a choice in how you respond. 3. Talk back to it with a growth mindset. How else can I think about this? What do I want to learn from this? 4.Take the growth mindset action. Switch from labels and judgment to lessons and learning Reference: Carol Dweck

11 Dialogue between FM & GM as you approach a challenge: THE FIXED-MINDSET says Are you sure you can do it? Maybe you don t have the talent. THE GROWTH-MINDSET answers, I m not sure I can do it now, but I think I can learn to with time and effort. FIXED MINDSET: What if you fail you ll be a failure GROWTH MINDSET: Most successful people had failures along the way. FIXED MINDSET: If you don t try, you can protect yourself and keep your dignity. GROWTH MINDSET: If I don t try, I automatically fail. Where s the dignity in that? Mindsets and the Brain Learner Path Creates Upward Spirals Fredrickson, 2004 Judger pit creates downward spirals

12 24 Know thy Mindset - Discussion How does a fixed mindset show up with your cases or clients? What learner questions can you ask yourself next time?

13 What Do You See?

14 Why is optimism important? Better academic and Greater health benefits work performance More likely to succeed in one s endeavours Less susceptibility to depression More solution focused Greater self-confidence Happier at their jobs and are more productive and creative Optimism is contagious What Optimism and Positive Thinking Is Not: Not a trait We want optimism wedded to reality

15 Pessimistic Explanatory Style Event Event Not Me Not Always Not Everything Me Always Everything Optimistic Explanatory Style Event Event Me Not Me Always EverythingNot Always Not Everything

16 Successfully Pessimistic Fields where pessimists may do significantly better than optimists include law, or positions where risk aversion is a necessity such as operating a power plant or being an air traffic controller. Lawyers and Optimism First, optimists and high-trust individuals are more resilient Lawyers: more pessimistic and skeptical This produces negativity Negative thoughts negative emotions and negative hormones Pessimism is a self-fulfilling prophecy

17 How does FM and GM impact optimism/pessimism or vice versa? Your beliefs become the lens through which you see the world.

18 35 Gist It s not what happens to us that affects how we feel, it s our interpretations of the situation. The key to resilience is having flexibility and accuracy in those interpretations. The ABCs of CBT Basic Premise: There is a relationship between thoughts, feelings and actions. You can change people s life experience by shifting their life beliefs. Get to the beliefs by accessing the mind chatter

19 This is how we think it works: A - Adversity (Negative Event or Circumstance) Don t get selected for choir C - Consequence (Feelings/Behaviors) Sad, give up on practicing singing How it works: Cognitive (ABC) Model (Beck, 1976; Ellis, 1962; Seligman, 1991) A - Adversity B Beliefs (Interpretations, attributions, expectations) (Negative Event or Circumstance) Don t get selected for choir I have a terrible voice. I m never going to be good at singing. C - Consequence (Feelings/Behaviors) Sad, give up on practicing singing

20 How it works: Cognitive (ABC) Model (Beck, 1976; Ellis, 1962; Seligman, 1991) B Beliefs A - Adversity (Negative Event or Circumstance) (Interpretations, attributions, expectations) Don t get selected for choir I guess I need to practice more. Maybe next time. C - Consequence (Feelings/Behaviors) Feels okay and practices more This is how we think it works: A - Adversity (Negative Event or Circumstance) Doesn t get accepted to graduate school. C - Consequence (Feelings/Behaviors) Anxious, worries and feels like she doesn t know what to do with herself.

21 How it works: Cognitive (ABC) Model (Beck, 1976; Ellis, 1962; Seligman, 1991) A - Adversity B Beliefs (Negative Event or Circumstance) Doesn t get accepted to graduate school (Interpretations, attributions, expectations) What am I going to do now? What if I can t get a job? What if I chose the wrong field? C - Consequence (Feelings/Behaviors) Anxious, worries and feels like she doesn t know what to do with herself. 42 The key to resilience is knowing your mind chatter Then you can separate the facts of what happened (A) from the thoughts and beliefs in your head (B) and how it made you feel or what it made you do (C) A= Adversity (or Activating Event) B= Beliefs C= Consequence

22 43 The B (Belief) is a thought you ve repeated often Repeating thoughts over and over strengthens the connection between thoughts A thought is neurons firing A belief is a neural network The more stories that get created around the thought, the stronger the neural network What thoughts were going through your mind when that happened? What thoughts pop up for you as you recall that event? 44 At this stage of the game, all we want to do is gain awareness! We re not trying to change our beliefs, we re just trying to understand them. Once you can separate the A from B and C, you can work with it.

23 D and E Disputation with evidence And Evaluation We do this to: Cultivate greater flexibility Reframing pessimistic or non self-serving mind chatter with more accuracy 46 Cultivating a Skill Requires Practice! First Then

24 Take Your Thoughts to Court 1: Identify the belief. What stories am I telling myself about this? 2: Take the BELIEF to court what are the facts in this situation? 3: Where is the evidence for what I am telling myself? 4: Is it true? Disputation with Evidence Belief: I m always messing up. Definition: Messing up: a disorderly accumulation, or heap. Evidence For Evidence Against A more accurate statement: I don t always mess everything up, I ve just been feeling that way lately because over the last few weeks I was involved with several things that didn t go according todl4plan Emiliya Zhivotovskaya & The Flourishing Center

25 49 Simplified Questions to ask yourself for greater resilience: Am I jumping to a conclusion? Can I know this to be certain? Where is the evidence? 50 Activity: Try on Different View Points Identify a challenging situation. Image 8 other people who would offer different view points. List their names and their viewpoints in the other boxes. Imagine stepping into each spot. Which perspective is most useful? What are your options?

26 51 Now that you have a more useful (better feeling) thought. We need to take action. 52 (another) F&G Identify the Fixed Mindset Action Identify the Growth Mindset Action Choose which one to take.

27 53 Activity: ABCDEFG Putting it all together. A: Activating Event B: Beliefs C: Consequences D: Dispute (Generate Alternatives, Look for Evidence) E: Evaluate a more useful thought F: Fixed Mindset Action G: Growth Mindset Action More on Resilient Thinking Thinking Traps or Stinking Thinking Habitual ways of thinking that stop us from flexible and accurate thinking. Jumping to Conclusions Personalization Catastrophizing Should statements All-or Nothing Thinking

28 Managing Self-Talk 1: Become aware your self-talk 2: Take it to court look for evidence. Is it true? 3: Work with your thoughts find a more flexible and accurate thought 4: Evaluate whether the new thought passes the gut test Questions for Identifying Whether the Thought Should be Reframed The Three Rational Questions (Pucci, 2010): 1. Is my thinking based on fact? 2. Does my thinking help me achieve my goals? 3. Does my thinking help me feel the way I want to feel? If the answer is Yes to all 3, it is fine. If the answer is No to any, it requires reframing

29 More tips for managing self-talk Write down your thoughts and set aside a later time to process them Ask yourself how does this thought serve me? Limit complaining time to 2 min. Seek healthy distractions What You Practice Gets Stronger

30 59 "Fixed mindset is about proving yourself. Growth mindset is about improving yourself." Carol Dweck 60 Summary The key to mental resilience is cultivating flexible and accurate thinking. It s not what happens to us that affects how we feel, it s our interpretations of the situation.

31 For Health Wellbeing Consultants Thank you Marla Warner For Health