Relational Development. Types of Relationships. Interpersonal Attraction. So, I m attracted to you What s next? Where do we go from here?

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Gwen Harris
5 years ago
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1 Relational Development So, I m attracted to you What s next? Where do we go from here? Types of Relationships Relationship of Circumstance - based upon life s circumstances Relationship of Choice you ve chosen to initiate, maintain, and/or terminate Interpersonal Attraction Physical characteristics Matching hypothesis Proximity (propinquity) Similarity Social similarity Task & professional similarity Background similarity Attitude & value similarity

2 Other Influences on Interpersonal Attraction Personality fit (complementary needs) Reciprocal Liking Credibility/Competency/ Charisma Relationship Potential Self Disclosure What are the characteristics that define relationships? Context: Setting v. Climate Confirmation/disconfirmation Supportiveness/defensiveness (Gibb) Time intensity, communication style, investment Information Sharing breadth versus depth continued Becoming more Empathetic: Avoid Disconfirming Responses Impervious Response Interrupting Response Irrelevant Response Tangential Response Impersonal Response Incoherent Response Incongruous Response

3 Becoming more Empathetic: Use Confirming Responses Direct Acknowledgement Agreement about Content Supportive Response Clarifying Response Expression of Positive Feeling Communication Climates Communication Climate - the environment created by the participants which increase or decrease defensiveness Supportive & Defensive Communication Climates Defensive climates - atmosphere that impedes communication effectiveness Supportive climate - atmosphere that enhances communication effectiveness

4 Comparison of Communication Patterns Defensive Patterns Evaluation Control Strategy Neutrality Superiority Certainty Supportive Patterns Description Problem orientation Spontaneity Empathy Equality Provisionalism Reciprocal Patterns (like begets like) Supportive communication from one person can influence another person to also be supportive Defensive communication from one person can influence another person to also communicate defensively What does this mean to you and the people with whom you are involved? Relational Development All relationships go through various stages, Up and Down Outsiders can often tell what stage a relationship is in, by observing the interpersonal communication There are turning points in relationships Causal Reflective

Control Affection = Love/Hate Control = Dominance/Submission (continued) Mark Knapp s Stages of Relational Development Movement Within and Between

5 What are the characteristics that define relationships? Trust Defined Predictability Motives for deception: resources, affiliation, self-protection, conflict avoidance, protecting others Affection and Control Affection = Love/Hate Control = Dominance/Submission (continued) Mark Knapp s Stages of Relational Development Movement Within and Between Floors Not all relationships move through all 10 steps Intimacy is not the only goal of relationships Movement occurs within stages Movement between steps is generally sequential Relationships are constantly changing Movement is always to a new place

6 Steve Duck s Typography (Relational Decay/Dissolution) Breakdown: Dissatisfaction w/relationship I can t stand this anymore. Intrapsychic Dyadic Social Grave Dressing Social withdrawal, resentment, brooding on partner s faults & relational costs I d be justified in withdrawing. Uncertainty, anxiety, hostility, complaints, conflict Discuss with partner ( our relationship ) I mean it. Going public; seeking advice/support from others, scapegoating It s now inevitable. Tidying up memories, making relational history, storytelling ( cover story ) Time to get a new life. Resurrection Recreating sense of own social value, envisioning future relationships (and self) What I learned and how things will be different. Leslie Baxter The Dialectics of Relationships Differs from stages research Built on assumptions: Life is full of contradictions Contradictions create change We make communication choices Relational factors are best understood in relation to others This approach studies the dynamic created by opposing factors in a relationship Three common dialectics RDT Autonomy We want to be close but separate Certainty Predictability vs. Novelty Connection Uncertainty Openness Self-disclosure Closedness

7 The three dialectics Autonomy/Connection the most powerful Certainty/Uncertainty involves trust Openness/Closedness self-disclosure, while important, comprises comparatively little of the total communication in a relationship What to do? Coming Together / Escalation Pay Attention Small Talk/Ask Questions Follow Norms Communicate attraction Self-Disclose appropriately Monitor Perceptions & Reduce Uncertainty Listen and respond appropriately Be other-oriented What to do? Escalation / Relational Maintenance Express Emotions Relationship Talk Demonstrate Tolerance & Restraint Manage Conflict Self-Disclose appropriately Use Persuasion when necessary

IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS. Facilitator: Ms. Vu Viet Hang (M.Ed)

IMPROVING INTERPERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS Facilitator: Ms. Vu Viet Hang (M.Ed) Communication Climate The emotional feelings that are present when people interact with one another Communication climates are