CHILDREN S SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR
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- Dominic Mosley
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1 CHILDREN S SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR Children s sexual behaviur develps ver time, like ther areas f grwth. Many behaviurs are healthy and are nrmal fr children at certain ages. On the ther hand, there are sme behaviurs which we shuld be cncerned abut. These behaviurs are wrrisme and shuld nt be ignred r seen as child s play. The parent/caregiver may need t redirect the child, r cnsider asking fr advice n what t d. Other behaviurs are mre serius and may even be dangerus t the child and thers. These children may need prfessinal help, and the parent/caregiver shuld talk with smene wh understands the sexual develpment f children (fr example, a dctr, a public health nurse, r a child prtectin wrker). The behaviurs in the first chart are mstly seen in tddlers and preschlers, but may als be seen in lder children. The secnd chart lks at behaviurs cmmn in lder children (adapted frm Jhnsn, Updated Understanding Children s Behavirs, What s Natural And Healthy, 2004). The third chart utlines adlescent sexual behaviur (adapted frm Family Planning Queensland, Traffic Lights sexual behaviurs frm birth t eighteen. Versin 1, 2006, and FOCUS Adlescent Services. The Range f Teenage Sexual Behavir, ). SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN TODDLERS & PRESCHOOLERS CURIOSITY BEHAVIOURS SELF-EXPLORATION asks apprpriate questins abut sex, fr example where d babies cme frm? children learn t name parts f the bdy likes t be naked has erectins is curius and enjys explring wn bdy tuches wn genitals as a selfsthing behaviur (fr example, when shws fear when talking abut anything t d with sex self-stimulates n furniture, tys and uses bjects t selfstimulate imitates sexual behaviur with dlls r tys cntinues t self- des nt stp asking questins abut sex knws t much abut sexuality fr age and stage f develpment. self-stimulates in public r in private instead f playing in ther activities. self-stimulates n ther peple harms wn genitals,
2 ging t sleep, when feeling sick, tense r afraid) very aware f genital area during tilet training puts bjects in wn genitals r buttcks withut it feeling uncmfrtable stimulate in public after being tld that this behaviur shuld take place in private puts smething in genitals, buttcks even when it feels uncmfrtable buttcks BEHAVIOUR WITH OTHERS explres the bdies f ther children when playing if peple are naked, the child likes t lk wants t tuch genitals, t see what they feel like may shw his/her genitals r buttcks t thers may take ff clthes in frnt f thers sees these behaviurs as fun and silly cntinues t play games like dctr after asked nt t always wants t tuch ther peple tries t d adult sexual behaviurs cpies adult sexual activity with clthes n frces, bullies ther children t take their clthes ff r d sexual things sad, angry r aggressive scenes between peple is shwn in dramatic play demands t see the genitals f ther children r adults tricks r frces ther children int tuching genitals, adult sexual behaviurs, cpying sexual acts with clthes ff, ral sex BATHROOM, TOILETING AND SEXUAL FUNCTIONS interested in peeing and ping is curius abut and tries t see what peple are ding in the bathrm sme preschlers want privacy in the bathrm and when changing uses unacceptable wrds fr tileting and sexual functins spreads p purpsefully pees in places they shuldn t ften caught watching thers wh want privacy in the bathrm cntinues t use unacceptable wrds after asked nt t keeps n spreading p cntinues t pee in places they shuldn t des nt allw thers privacy in the bathrm r bedrm des nt care abut the rules set fr unacceptable language and cntinues t use it
3 RELATIONSHIPS BEHAVIOUR WITH ANIMALS plays huse with ther children kisses and hugs peple wh are imprtant t him/her may share what they have fund ut abut sex curius abut hw animals have babies when talks abut adult relatinships, refers t sex a lt afraid f being kissed r hugged talks r acts in a sexual way with thers uses sexual language even after asked nt t talks abut sex r includes sex in play instead f ding ther things tuches genitals f animals imitates adult sexual behaviur in detail being tuched causes fear talks in a sexual way even with peple s/he des nt knw sexual behaviur with animals
4 SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR IN SCHOOL-AGED CHILDREN RELATIONSHIPS NATURE OF SEXUAL AWARENESS thinks children f the ppsite sex are grss chases children f the ppsite sex talks abut sex with friends, talks abut having a byfriend/girlfriend lder children play games with peers abut sex likes telling and listening t dirty jkes includes genitals n drawing f peple lks at pictures f naked peple makes fun f the ppsite sex shws that s/he wants privacy respected refuses cntact with specific individual(s) uses sexual language t insult r scare thers wants t play games related t sex with yunger r lder children cntinues t tell dirty jkes after asked nt t makes sexual sunds includes genitals in drawings f ne sex and nt the ther genitals are a main feature in pictures, r are larger than the rest f the bdy parts verly-curius with pictures f naked peple wants t be the ppsite sex becmes very upset when privacy is nt respected hurts and/r avids certain types f peple (e.g. the ppsite sex, peple with certain features such as facial hair) cannt seem t stp talking abut sex and sexual acts sees all relatinships in a sexual way frces thers t play sexual games cntinues t tell dirty jkes even after being disciplined drawings may include adult sexual activity, sexual abuse f a child hates being a by r girl hates wn genitals demands privacy in an aggressive r verly upset way
5 ADOLESCENT SEXUAL BEHAVIOUR RELATIONSHIPS sexual cnversatins with peers sexual jkes within the cultural nrm plays games with sexual themes (e.g., spin the bttle) interested in having a rmantic relatinship with anther persn sexual preference emerges embarrasses peers with sexual themes (especially if aggressive) wants t play games with sexual themes with individuals wh are utside the legal age f cnsent* acts vertly sexual/seductive t gain status amng peers refuses cntact with a specific individual(s) makes sexual nises r gestures at inapprpriate times vilates thers bdy space: verreacts when wn bundaries are vilated develps risky nline relatinships and behavirs (e.g., with thse utside the legal age f cnsent) degrades r humiliates thers with sexual cmments frces peers t play sexual games sexually aggressive manner feels unsafe in a relatinship sexually fcused cnversatin with an individual(s) utside f the legal age f cnsent *The Criminal Cde f Canada sets ut the laws regarding cnsent t sexual acts (amended May 1, 2008); this includes any sexual behaviur, nt just intercurse. 16 is the age f cnsent t sexual acts. Children under 12 can never legally cnsent t sexual acts. The Criminal Cde recgnizes that adlescents engage in explratry sexual behaviur (i.e., yuthful sexual experimentatin ), and 12 and 13 year-lds may nt be charged criminally if cnsent fr sexual invlvement is mutual, and there is n mre than 2 years difference in age
6 between the individuals. Hwever, if ne f the yuth is in a psitin f trust r authrity ver the ther yuth, then cnsent is nt valid. Fr example, it wuld nt be against the law fr a 15 year-ld and a 13 year-ld t be invlved sexually if they have bth cnsented, unless the 15 year-ld is in a psitin f trust r authrity (e.g., a babysitter r cach). Children wh are 14 and 15 years ld may cnsent t sexual invlvement that is mutual, with a persn wh is a maximum f 5 years lder. Fr example, it wuld be legal fr a 15 year-ld and a 19 year-ld t be invlved sexually if they have bth cnsented, unless the 19 year-ld is in a psitin f trust r authrity. The Criminal Cde further tries t prtect teens wh are 16 & 17 years f age frm sexual explitatin by a persn wh is in a psitin f trust r authrity. Teenagers in this age range may legally cnsent t sexual acts with smene wh is nt in a psitin f trust r authrity. Fr example, a 16-year-ld can legally cnsent t sexual invlvement with a 20 year-ld. Hwever, if the 20 year-ld were his/her tutr, then s/he wuld be cmmitting an ffence if they engaged in sexual behaviur, even if the 16-year-ld cnsented. The 20 year ld is in a psitin f trust r authrity ver the 16-year-ld and therefre, cnsent is nt valid. When smene is in a psitin f trust r authrity, s/he is respnsible fr nt taking advantage f anyne under the age f 18. (Adlescent Sexual Behaviur, cntinued) SEXUAL INTERESTS/ ACTIVITIES interest in ertica** (e.g., magazines and mvies) sexual fantasies used t create arusal r t prepare fr a sexual encunter use f Internet chat interested in learning abut/btaining methds f birth cntrl inquires abut sexually transmitted infectins (STIs) prngraphic** interest preccupied with sexual thughts/anxieties sexual graffiti sexual fantasies invlving children prvides persnal infrmatin t an individual(s) nline r arranges t meet in persn participates in Xrated chat rms engages in discussins abut sex with peple nline that they d nt knw preccupatin with [vilent] prngraphy bsessive thughts abut sexual activities participates in adults nly nline dating sites and/r meets face-t-face with an adult(s) views and/r distributes child prngraphy
7 **In Canada, prngraphy is divided int 3 categries: (1) explicit sex with vilence; (2) explicit sex withut vilence but is degrading r dehumanizing; and (3) explicit sex withut vilence that is neither degrading nr dehumanizing. Vilence includes bth physical vilence and threats f physical vilence. Ertica falls under categry 3, as ertic materials d depict sexual acts fr the purpse f arusal; hwever, ertic materials d nt depict vilence r acts that degrade r dehumanize individuals. (Adlescent Sexual Behaviur, cntinued) SEXUAL ACTS private masturbatin cnsensual activities such as hugging, kissing, hlding hands freplay invlving making ut and fndling mutual masturbatin cnsensual intercurse in the cntext f a rmantic r dating relatinship vyeurism (i.e., the practice f being sexually arused by secretly watching thers undress r engage in sexual acts, als knwn as peeping tm ) expses neself (e.g., mning, flashing ) prmiscuity (i.e., indiscriminate sexual activity with mre than ne partner during the same perid f time) engages in high-risk sexual behaviur, (e.g., unprtected sex, sexual activity while using alchl r illicit substances) sends naked/prvcative pictures f neself r thers (e.g., nline, thrugh text message, sexting ) cmpulsive masturbatin (especially if in public, r when directed t stp and disregards directin, r if harmful t neself) attempts t expse thers genitals cerces thers t engage in sexual activity withut their cnsent sexual cntact with animals sends naked/prvcative pictures f neself r thers fr malicius intent (e.g., fr the purpses f selling phts; distributing fr a vindictive reasn)
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