Cultivating Self-Care

Transcription

1 Cultivating Self-Care The image cannot be displayed. Your computer may not have enough memory to open the image, or the Brooke Lavelle Heineberg, Ph.D. Education Consultant, Mind & Life Institute Co-Founder, Courage of Care Collective Foundation for Active Compassion Compassionate Approaches to Self-Care Innate Compassion Training Compassion Focused Therapy 1

2 One-caring = One cared-for The Capacity for Care We have a natural capacity to be caring and compassionate. These capacities are nurtured implicitly through unconditional caring relationships and explicitly through compassion training. 2

3 Compassionate Mindfulness of Feelings 3

4 Cultivating Care and Compassion: Fears, Obstacles and Blocks Fears of Self-Care Obstacles to Self-Care Fatigue Time Other commitments Unexpected life demands Unrealistic expectations Spending time with loved ones Full plates Seasonal changes Prioritizing Urgency vs. Important Hard to see immediate results Fears of Self-Care Fear of exposing emotions Fear of losing composure Feel guilty or selfish taking time for self Fear of difficult emotions Easier to give rather than receive SELF-WORTH Fear that I won t meet obligations Fear of judgment Fear of failure Opportunity costs Blocks to Compassion and Care n Feeling of self-dislike, selfloathing, unworthiness; vulnerability; compassion makes us soft n Aversion to many of our own feelings n Limiting impressions of self and others 4

5 Fears of Compassion Fear of expressing compassion for others Fear of receiving compassion from others Fear of expressing compassion for ourselves Fears of Compassion scale (Gilbert, McEwan, Matos, Rivis, 2010) Fears of Compassion and Well-being - The capacity to give and receive compassion, correlates significantly with measures of stress, depression and anxiety. (Martin, Heineberg, Seppala, Doty & Zimbardo, 2015 working paper) Fears of compassion Compassion for Others Compassion from Others Compassion for Self Stress Anxiety Depression.32**.39**.35**.56**.57**.71**.54**.58**.74** Inquiry n In dyads, take turns listening and responding to the following questions: n How do I feel toward my emotions? What strategies do I use to relate to my emotions? n What would happen if I gave up these strategies? n Is the way I relate to my emotions connected to the way I relate to others? 5

6 Becoming Your Compassionate Self Final Thoughts and Reflections 6

7 Thank you! One-caring = One cared-for 7

8 Recalling our Caring Figures 1. Was there a mentor or care giver who made you feel cared about? Someone who respected and believed in you? 2. What was it about that person that made you feel that way? 3. When you think about that experience, what images, feelings, thoughts or body sensations come up for you? 4. In what ways has that experience impacted your work as an educator? Receiving Care: Caring Moment Practice Geography Class Sexual orientation Religion Cultural practices Language Ethnicity Gender 8

9 The Beloved Community of Care Because love is an act of courage, not of fear, love is a commitment to others. No matter where the oppressed are found, the act of love is commitment to their cause the cause of liberation. -Paulo Freire Defining Compassion and Care n Love and compassion are two sides of the same coin. Love is the power to see and accept others as they are, and to wish them well. Compassion is a form of love that focuses on the fear and suffering of other beings; importantly, this focus is paired with a desire and intention to relieve their fear and suffering. n The complex nature of compassion may be broken down into five aspects: n Affection n Empathic concern n Freedom from stress and suffering n Wisdom and insight n Compassionate action 9