Project Management and Emotional Intelligence

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1 Project Management and Emotional Intelligence PMI Meeting Helsinki, May

2 Véronique M. OURY Consultant, trainer and coach in project management and interpersonal skills at IIL MScA, PMP, Prince 2 certified, Licensed Human Element Practitioner, MBTI Practitioner, Change Management certified, Emotional Intelligence certified 20 years of experience in Aerospace, IT, R&D, public sector and various industries in Canada and France Passions: psychology, arts 2

3 Today s Agenda The perfect leader s struggle But Aren t we talking about Emo?onal Intelligence (EI) here? Being the best version of yourself 3

4 Today s agenda Part 1 The perfect leader s struggle Part 2 But, aren t we talking about Emo)onal Intelligence (EI) here? Part 3 Being the best version of yourself 4

7 And the Same Ques)ons keep Cropping up Do I really have to struggle so much with conflicts between my own values, the ones of my hierarchy or the ones of my teams to become a great leader? «Did I use the right leadership style at the right moment with the right person?» «Does this trick, or that one, work with anyone, in any cultural environnent?» «I am so afraid of moving to sympathy and not be able to manage the emo?ons of my team members so I rather keep my distance» How come my boss sent me to a leadership training when he is such a bad leader himself? «I cannot wear these masks anymore» Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. 7

8 Defini)on: Emo)onal Intelligence is Intelligent use of our emotions to help us navigate social situations. A conscious effort where a person Identifies the current emotional state Determines the emotional trigger or source of the emotional state Chooses a reaction from a range of possibilities Marcia Reynolds, Outsmart Your Brain, 2004 IQ gets you through school, but EI gets you through life! 8

9 Emo)onal Intelligence: Five Components Intrapersonal intelligence Social Skills Effective Relationship Mo)va)on Interpersonal intelligence Empathy 9

10 Self Awareness The ability to recognize and understand your moods, emotions and drives, and to understand their impact on your behavior and decisions, and their effect on others. Likely Outcomes: Self confidence Realistic self assessment Self-deprecating sense of humor The more you understand yourself, the more you can improve the impact you have on others. 10

11 Self-awareness. A prac)cal tool! I belong to the PMI, Direction board, Delivering projects, coaching, training, I share my «secrets» Source: L Elément Humain, Will Schutz, InterEdiBons BEHAVIOR INCLUSION Low High CONTROL OPENESS Low High Low High Feeling (influencing the bahavior) Important Competent Likable Interpersonal fear Ignored / abandoned Souplesse / rigidité Humiliated / embarrassed Rejected / unliked Source: L Elément Humain, Will Schutz, InterEdiBons Model explaining (in)compa)bili)es in 75% of the cases The enemy = rigidi)es Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. 11

12 Self-awareness. What are your favorite defense mechanisms when experiencing fears?? q Denial Cri?c q Demander Helper q Vic?m Masochist Source: L Elément Humain, Will Schutz, InterEdiBons Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. 12

14 Self-awareness. A prac)cal tool! I belong to the PMI, Direction board, Delivering projects, coaching, training, I share my «secrets» Source: L Elément Humain, Will Schutz, InterEdiBons BEHAVIOR INCLUSION Low High CONTROL OPENESS Low High Low High Feeling (influencing the bahavior) Importan t Competent Likable Interpersonal fear Ignored / abandoned Souplesse / rigidité Humiliated / embarrassed Rejected / unliked Source: L Elément Humain, Will Schutz, InterEdiBons Model explaining (in)compa)bili)es in 75% of the cases The enemy = rigidi)es Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. 14

15 Self Regula)on The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods. The propensity to suspend judgment, and to think before acting. Likely Outcomes: Trustworthiness and integrity Comfort with ambiguity Openness to change Control your emotions so they don t control you. 15

Difficulty When Trying to Regulate Oneself: The Science Behind Emo)ons Our Brain s Wiring Causes Us to Feel Before We Think Emotions Before Thought; Amygdala Hijack Neo-Cortex Thinking; IQ

16 Difficulty When Trying to Regulate Oneself: The Science Behind Emo)ons Our Brain s Wiring Causes Us to Feel Before We Think Emotions Before Thought; Amygdala Hijack Neo-Cortex Thinking; IQ resides here Working memory (i.e., analysis, planning, decisions, reflection, creativity) Amygdala Feeling; emotional memory Emotional learning Brain Stem Temperature Breathing Heart Rate Reflexes 16

17 Self-Regula)on Strategy S.O.S.S. To counter Amygdala Hijacking, we want to use the whole brain the thinking and feeling parts working together. Use the feeling part (Amygdala) as an early warning system. Use the thinking part (Neo-cortex) to employ the S.O.S.S. strategy: Stop step back from the trigger take a time out Oxygenate Amygdala shortens your breath Strengthen Appreciation Seek Information it is information your thinking mind needs in order to over-ride your Amygdala 17

18 Mo)va)on A passion to work for professional goals that go beyond money or status. A propensity to pursue goals with energy and persistence. Likely Outcomes: Strong drive to achieve Optimism, even in the face of failure Organizational commitment Motivation fuels your aspirations and learning experiences. 18

19 4 Easily Iden)fiable Mo)va)ons an Old Model Instrumental mo)va)on ()tle, money, advantages, ) Managerial mo)va)on (lead people to realize things in accordance with one s values) Community-related mo)va)on (work with friends) Professional mo)va)on (to increase one s knowledge) Source: inspired from «Les 4 types d engagement» from Vincent (Ch) in «Développez votre pouvoir par l analyse transac)onnelle,», Edi)ons d Organisa)on, Paris, in 1988 Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. 19

20 Mo)vate, According to Harvey Firestone "I noticed that the money was never enough to make the valuable men act. What tempts them, is the risk, the wrestling, the possibility of overcoming, of surpassing oneself. All the competitions have no other mobile than that one: the desire to excel and to assert its importance". 20

22 All behaviors come from the self-esteem, (Will Schutz) Weak self-esteem, some examples - I am not aware and I don t really know who I am or what I do - I feel powerless I am a victim of the fate, of coincidences, of the environment, of the economy, of the variable economic climate and of other persons - I feel insignificant - I feel incompetent, not responsible, one cannot count on me - I am not an amiable person. If people were knowing me - I am hard and demanding and use this as the reason why people don t like me - I am furious against myself when I fail - I don t know why I am doing certain things that generate problems such as criticizing others and circumstances for bad emotions Véronique M. OURY All rights reserved. High self-esteem, some examples - I am not afraid to look at me clearly. I am aware of thoughts and emotions and I know what is happening in me - I feel the joy coming from my potential - I feel important, hence I do not demand attention. And I understand my impact on others. - I feel competent to confront the situations that are difficult for me. - I feel amiable. I d rather be appreciated but if I am not, I know I am still amiable. - I can follow orders without resentment and give some without guiltiness or fear of punishment. - I accept critics and make good use of them. - I talked directly to people instead of talking in their back. 22

23 Empathy The ability to understand other people from their perspective. Skill in treating people according to their emotional reactions, by adapting your thoughts, decisions, and actions. Likely Outcomes: Cross-cultural sensitivity Expertise in building and retaining talent Service to others (e.g., customers) Respond better to others through understanding and sensitivity. 23

24 Empathy and Sympathy Sympathy A relationship in which whatever affects one person affects the other in a similar way (e.g., You re frustrated; therefore, I m frustrated). Empathy The identification and understanding of the thoughts or feelings of the other (e.g., I can see that you are frustrated. What is frustrating you?). Over-using Empathy may appear as too soft, a push-over, or too close to someone and unable to act objectively. Under-using Empathy may be less caring (or tolerant) of others, focused on results only, uncomfortable with people s issues, and may find personal needs (and small talk) an inappropriate topic at work. Strike a balance: understand the context within the sphere of influence 24

25 Social Skills Effec)ve Rela)onships Proficiency in managing relationships and building networks with others, the community/society. An ability to find common ground and build rapport. Likely Outcomes: Effectiveness in leading change Persuasiveness; Motivating; Influencing Expertise in building and leading teams Make strong, long-lasting relations with others and effectively manage any conflicts. 25

26 Summary Benefits Emotional Intelligence Helps motivate and inspire you toward fulfilling your goals and ensuring alignment with your values Helps face your fears or at least not be impacted unconsciously by them Improves your ability to influence, persuade, and collaborate with others to perform better to achieve accomplishments Helps become the best version of yourself! 26

27 Predictors of Workplace Success Harvard researchers took a cross-section of graduates from law, medicine, and business and tracked them for 30 years to identify indicators of success. Success was defined by professional achievement in their prospective fields as well as stability and sustainability in key relationships. Findings: Emotional Intelligence (EI) accounted for more than double that of IQ and Technical Skills combined as a predictor of professional success. Emotional intelligence isn t a luxury you can dispense with in tough times. It s a basic tool that, deployed with finesse, is key to professional success. Harvard Business Review, April

The Good News... While IQ is relatively fixed at age 16, our levels of IQ become fairly concrete. Emotional intelligence can be learned and improved at any age. The Bad News.

28 The Good News... While IQ is relatively fixed at age 16, our levels of IQ become fairly concrete. Emotional intelligence can be learned and improved at any age. The Bad News... The higher the IQ, the higher the chances to be hypersensitive, and be highjacked by our amygdala. High IQ or not, the only chance to be a successful leader is to work on EI to become one s best version and simply be remarkable! 28

29 Being the Best Version of Yourself In Pictures hyps:// The art of being yourself Caroline McHugh TEDxMiltonKeynesWomen From 2 50 to

30 QUESTIONS? «The greatest victory is the one wan over oneself, Alexandre Legrand 30

31 Intelligence Integrity Innova)on 31 31

32 Biography and References Emotional Intelligence, conference, IIL L intelligence émotionnelle, Daniel Goleman, 1995 The art of being remarkable, Yann Girard, 2015 L art de diriger, Joseph L. Badaracco, Jr. (HBR) L Elément Humain, Comprendre le lien entre estime de soi, confiance et performance, The Human Element, Will Schutz, 2006 Simon Sinek Why good leaders make you feel safe, TED, 2014 La guérison des 5 blessures, Lise Bourbeau, 2015 Outsmart Your Brain, Marcia Reynolds, 2004 Les 4 types d engagement from Vincent (Ch) in Développez votre pouvoir par l analyse transactionnelle, 1988 Trop intelligent pour être heureux, L adulte surdoué, Jeanne Siaud Facchin, March 2015 Adultes sensibles et doués, Odile Jacob editions, Arielle Adda and Thierry Brunel, February

Emotional Quotient. Megan Nice. Owner Sample Co Your Address Here Your Phone Number Here Your Address Here

Emotional Quotient. Megan Nice. Owner Sample Co Your Address Here Your Phone Number Here Your Address Here Emotional Quotient Owner Sample Co. 5-22-2013 Introduction The Emotional Quotient report looks at a person's emotional intelligence, which is the ability to sense, understand and effectively apply the