REFRAMING CONFLICT AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION & GROWTH.

Size: px

Start display at page:

Download "REFRAMING CONFLICT AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION & GROWTH."

Irene Hudson
5 years ago
Views:

1 REFRAMING CONFLICT AS AN OPPORTUNITY FOR REFLECTION & GROWTH

2 RELATIONSHIPS IMPLIES CONNECTION AND MUTUALITY: They are central to Child and Youth Care Practice. We cannot do our work without relationships. Humans do not live without relationships. RELATIONSHIPS ARE: Often problematic and challenging. Complex. Rich elements of human experience. Nearly every problem that impacts people, also impacts their relationships with others.

3 BROAD PRINCIPLES OF POSITIVE YOUTH DEVELOPMENT INCLUDE: Development is a natural process, one that all youth experience and development occurs overtime; ALL youth need supports to thrive and all youth have strengths; A planned set of practices or activities that are designed to foster the developmental process; and No one organization can meet all of the developmental needs of youth. Therefore, youth need opportunities, services and supports from family, school and their communities.

4 K EEP IN MIND THE SHEER NUMBER OF DEVELOPMENTAL TASKS AND CHALLENGES THAT ADOLESCENTS ARE CONFRONTED WITH. M ASTERY TAKES TIME, PRACTICE AS WELL AS TRIAL AND ERRO R. Young people are faced with the following developmental tasks: Preparing for financial independence and professional life; Achieving emotional independence from parents and or other adults; Preparing for sustained intimate relationship and or family life; Establishing a gender identity; Identifying and incorporating behaviors consistent with societal expectations and personal value systems; Establishing new and more mature relations with age-mates, Developing a set of values and an ethical system as a guide to behavior; and Realizing that as humans we are all interdependent rather than solely independent or dependant Taken from: Adolescent Development: What s Going on in There? Janis Whitlock (2009)

5 ALL HUMANS WANT AND NEED SOME LEVEL OF CONTROL IN THEIR LIVES. THEREFORE, ONE OF THE CHALLENGES THAT YOUTH WORKERS ENCOUNTER IS: Striking that delicate balance of letting young people be in control of what happens to them and keeping youth safe. Youth workers may find that asserting too much control over youth s lives can backfire and create conflict.

6 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND ABOUT CONFLICT Conflict is neither good nor bad; Conflict is inevitable; Conflict does not have to result in winners and losers; In conflict both parties tend to believe that their opinion is fact; Too often both parties see themselves as innocent victims who represent the side of truth and fairness; and Too often both parties perceive all destructive acts carried out by others but are completely blind to identical acts that they or others on their side carry out.

7 C ONFLICT CAN BE DEFINED AS A DISAGREEMENT THROUGH WHICH THE PARTIES INVOLVED PERCEIVE A THREAT TO THEIR NEEDS, INTERESTS OR CONCERNS. W ITHIN THIS SIMPLE DEFINITION THERE ARE SEVERAL IMPORTANT UNDERSTANDINGS THAT EMERGE: Disagreement - Generally, we are aware there is some level of difference in the positions of the two (or more) parties involved in the conflict. But the true disagreement versus the perceived disagreement may be quite different from one another. In fact, conflict tends to be accompanied by significant levels of misunderstanding that exaggerate the perceived disagreement considerably. Parties involved - There are often disparities in our sense of who is involved in the conflict. Sometimes, people are surprised to learn they are a party to the conflict, while other times we are shocked to learn we are not included in the disagreement. On many occasions, people who are seen as part of the social system (e.g., work team, family, company) are influenced to participate in the dispute. Generally, people very readily "take sides. Perceived threat - People respond to the perceived threat, rather than the true threat, facing them. Thus, while perception doesn't become reality per se, people's behaviors, feelings and ongoing responses become modified by that evolving sense of the threat they confront. If we can work to understand the true threat (issues) and develop strategies (solutions) that manage it (agreement), we are acting constructively to manage the conflict. Needs, interests or concerns - There is a tendency to narrowly define "the problem. However, workplace conflicts tend to be far more complex than that, for they involve ongoing relationships with complex, emotional components which need to be taken into consideration.

8 T HE R O L E OF O U R P E R C E P T I O N( S) P L AY A R O L E IN C O N F L ICT. W E CAN A N T I C I PAT E H AV I N G SUCH D I F F E R E N C E S DUE TO A N U M B E R OF FA C TO R S T H AT C R E AT E " P E R C E P T U A L F I LT E R S" T H AT INFLUENCE OUR RESPONSES TO T HE SIT UAT ION INCL UDING: Culture, race, and ethnicity: Our varying cultural backgrounds influence us to hold certain beliefs about the social structure of our world, as well as the role of conflict in that experience. Gender and sexuality: Men and women often perceive situations somewhat differently, based on both their experiences in the world (which relates to power and privilege, as do race and ethnicity) and socialization patterns. Knowledge (general and situational): Parties respond to given conflicts on the basis of the knowledge they may have about the issue at hand. This includes situation-specific knowledge (i.e., "Do I understand what is going on here?") and general knowledge (i.e., "Have I experienced this type of situation before?" or "Have I studied about similar situations before? ). Impressions of the messenger: If the person sharing the message - the messenger - is perceived to be a threat (powerful, scary, unknown, etc.), this can influence our responses to the overall situation being experienced. Previous experiences: Some of us have had profound, significant life experiences that continue to influence our perceptions of current situations. These experiences may have left us fearful, lacking trust, and reluctant to take risks.

9 BEHAVIOR FOCUSES ON NOT GETTING OUR NEEDS MET Why does behavior escalate? There is a need or needs that are not being met. This can lead to CONFLICT

10 IN THE HEAT OF CONFLICT WE TEND TO VIOLATE NORMS OF COOPERATION

11 REFRAMING IS A COMMUNICATION SKILL THAT Changes meaning by changing its context. It is a strengths based approach that focuses on competency and solution(s) rather than disorder and problem(s). Concentrates on envisioning, encouraging and building strengths rather than fixing or treating deficits and disorders.

12 GOALS OF REFRAMING INCLUDE: Suggest small changes in perspective (context) LEAD TO Changes in behavior DUE TO Changes in how we view ourselves and our ability to be in charge and make changes. Taken from, The Residential Youth Care Worker in Action: A Collaborative, Competency-Based, Approach by Bob Bertolino and Kevin Thompson.

13 THE FOLLOWING 6 VARIABLES MAY HELP YOU DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT TO ENGAGE IN CONFLICT: 1. How invested are you in the relationship? 2. How important is the issue to you? 3. Do you have the energy for the conflict? 4. Are you aware of potential consequences? 5. Are you ready for the consequences? 6. What are the consequences if you do not engage in the conflict?

14 THE FOLLOWING STEPS CAN HELP YOU HANDLE CONFLICT IN A MORE POSITIVE MANNER: Manage stress while remaining alert and calm. By staying calm, you can accurately read and interpret verbal and nonverbal communication. Control your emotions and behavior. When you re in control of your emotions, you can communicate your needs without threatening, frightening, or punishing others. Pay attention to the feelings being expressed as well as the spoken words of others. Be aware of and respectful of differences. By avoiding disrespectful words and actions, you can resolve the problem faster.

15 WEB SITES yid/100/diversity Exercise-Draw-Your-Opinion.aspx

Conflict It s What You Do With It!

Conflict It s What You Do With It! Luc Bégin, Ombudsman Department of Canadian Heritage Presented to: Financial Management Institute of Canada November 27 th, 2013 True or False Sometimes the best way