Conflict Resolution Policy and Guidelines

Transcription

1 Dcument N. Gasóga na héireann/scuting Ireland Issued Last Amended Next Review SID-CCD02 11 th Nvember th Nvember 2018 Categry: Cmplaints, Cnflict and Disciplinary Nvember 2021 Cnflict Reslutin Plicy and Guidelines Related Dcuments SID-CCD01 - Scuting Ireland s Grievance and Disputes Prcess SID-CCD03 - Scuting Ireland s Disputes Plicy (Yuth Members Under 18) SID-CCD04 - Scuting Ireland s Disciplinary Prcess SID-39/05 - Scuting Ireland s Cde f Gd Practice TOR-SUB04 - Disputes Reslutin and Appeals Panel Terms f Reference Revisin Schedule Revisin Date Descriptin A 18/11/18 Minr Revisins # 11/11/17 Dcument Issued SID-CCD02 Page 1 f 12

2 Scuting Ireland s Cnflict Reslutin Plicy Scuting Ireland recgnises the imprtance f encuraging and prmting effective wrking relatinships between all f its members and Prfessinal Staff. Scuting Ireland als recgnises that, frm time t time, the relatinships between sme f its members/prfessinal Staff may becme strained and lead t a situatin where sme interventin is required t reslve any cnflicts, disputes r differences and restre cnfidence. Furthermre Scuting Ireland recgnises the imprtance f reslving any such cnflicts, disputes r differences, which may arise frm time t time, as sn as pssible and at their surce. Scuting Ireland will therefre endeavur t supprt the reslutin f such cnflicts, disputes r differences by using whatever resurces are available t it including persnnel wh can ffer assistance and supprt. In furtherance f the aims laid ut in the previus paragraphs Scuting Ireland has established the fllwings guidelines t assist all parties invlved in a cnflict situatin t arrive at an amicable slutin. Scuting Ireland s Cnflict Reslutin Guidelines The Nature f Cnflict Seeking Cnstructive Outcmes Cnflict exists whenever incmpatible activities ccur (Deutsch 1969) Cnflict amngst grup members is inevitable. This will ccur n matter what grup members d. The issue is nt whether cnflict can be prevented, but rather hw cnflict can be managed. Cnflict is nt a cntest. Winning and lsing are gals fr games, nt fr cnflict. What fllws are sme strategies, insights and prcesses fr the successful reslving f cnflict situatins. Cnflict, when skilfully managed, can be f great value t a grup. Here are sme f the ptentially cnstructive utcmes f cnflict: Cnflict makes us mre aware f prblems in ur relatinships that need t be slved. Cnflict increases ur awareness f what the prblems are, wh is invlved and hw they can be slved. Cnflict encurages change. There are times when things need t change, when new skills need t be learned and when ld habits need t be mdified. Cnflict energises and increases ne s mtivatin t deal with prblems. Awareness f cnflict can trigger a great deal f physical energy and an intensity f psychlgical fcus, which in turn result in a strng mtivatin t reslve the cnflict and put ne s plans int actin. SID-CCD02 Page 2 f 12

3 Cnflict makes life mre interesting. Being in a cnflict ften sparks curisity and stimulates interest. Arguments abut plitics, sprts, wrk and scietal prblems make interpersnal interactin mre intriguing and less bring. The disagreement f thers with yur ideas may inspire yu t find ut mre abut the issue. Better decisins are generally made when there is disagreement abut what the decisin shuld be amng the persns respnsible fr making it. Disagreement ften causes the decisin t be thught thrugh mre carefully. Cnflict reduces the day t day irritatins f relating t smene. A gd argument may d a lt t reslve the small tensins f interacting with thers. Cnflict helps us understand what we are like as a persn. What makes us angry, what frightens us, what is imprtant t us and hw we tend t manage cnflict is all highlighted when yu are in cnflict with smene. Being aware f what yu are willing t argue abut and hw yu act in cnflict can help yu learn a great deal abut yurself. Cnflict can deepen and enrich a relatinship, strengthening each persn s cnvictin that the relatinship can hld up under stress, cmmunicating the cmmitments and values f each persn that the ther must take int accunt and generally keeping the relatinship clear f irritatins and resentments s that psitive feelings can be experienced fully. Cnflict can stimulate creativity by prmting an awareness f different ways f viewing prblems and situatins. The rerientatins gained frm viewing a prblem frm several different perspectives generate insights int the prblem and fster the frmatin f creative slutins. When a grup enters int cnflict with anther grup its chesiveness increases and its sense f identity becmes clearer. Cnflict prmtes the scial develpment f grup members by reducing their cgnitive egcentrism and prmting higher levels f cgnitin and mral reasning. Cnflict Reslutin Prcess Define the cnflict. Separate a value frm a cncrete issue. Respect the ther persn s values. Remember everyne is entitled his/her wn views. If yu can, peratinalise their values (i.e. make them cncrete). SID-CCD02 Page 3 f 12

4 Interact and appreciate (value the ther persn). Acknwledge that interdependence is needed fr successful cnflict reslutin. Cmmunicate penly, hnestly and frankly. Actively listen t bth facts and feelings. Cmmunicate in a manner that builds credibility, rapprt and trust. Understand the nature f cnflict. Create a climate where differences can surface. Delay initial negative judgement abut ideas, beliefs, feelings, attitudes, behaviur r cncerns. Empathise and value the ther persn s perspective n the issue/prblem as legitimate fr him/her/them. Value diversity and identify the psitive characteristics abut the ther party s viewpint. Seek t determine the dimensins f the cnflict. Ascertain whether the essence f the cnflict is ne f values r f issues. Lk fr cnsequences and apprpriateness. Select the apprpriate cnfrntatin level. Fcus n the specific behaviur f the ther party. Identify the tangible cnsequences f their behaviur. Make the cnsequences sufficiently cmpelling t mtivate a change in the behaviur. Invite (rather than demand) behaviur change. Mdel the behaviur yu desire in thers. Encurage prblem slving. Ask what can we d abut the situatin? Listen t the ther party s suggested alternatives. Strive tward mutually satisfying slutins (win win utcmes). Fllw the prblem slving mde. SID-CCD02 Page 4 f 12

5 Ensure cmmitment t change. Mnitr and mdify the fllw up plans as apprpriate. Success in Cnflict Management Step 1: Strengthen yur Self-awareness and Self-cntrl In a cnflict situatin, the nly variable yu can cntrl abslutely is yurself. Skill in cnflict management therefre is based, first and fremst, n realistic self study. In strengthening yur self cntrl, yu can think abut and practice the fllwing: Desensitise yurself t impending cnflict by behaviural rehearsal (by ging thrugh it mentally r rle playing with clse assciates). Psych dwn thrugh relaxatin techniques r strenuus exercise. Get a clear sense f yur wn bundaries and limitatins. Put the cnflict in perspective: Hw imprtant is it? What is the wrst thing that culd happen? What is the best thing that culd happen? Step 2: Learn t Handle yur Anger Understand hw it develps: What is behind yur anger? Fear? Disappintment? Cnfusin? Frustratin? Learn t deal with yur anger by wning and admitting it. Calibrate yur respnse. Diagnse the threat. Uncertainty is ften the real enemy. Talk with friends and assciates. Step 3: Learn t Cnfrnt Anger in Others Mst peple see, hear and d what they want t see, hear and d. In a cnflict situatin, these psitins/perceptins simply becme mre rigid and fixed. S: Abandn the need t be lgical. State hw yu feel. Listen (it takes bth time and effrt). Be persistently reasnable. Ignre abuse. Avid escalatin. SID-CCD02 Page 5 f 12

6 Valuing Yurself In the cnflict management prcess, valuing is essential scial cement. It draws peple tgether and encurages c peratin but remember this simple but true adage: If yu dn t value yurself, yu can t value thers. Here are sme basic rules fr valuing yurself: Dn t demand perfectin frm yurself. Set realistic gals that yu can and want t achieve. Yu have the right t decide wh, hw and what yu want t be withut making excuses, justifying r saying I m srry. Yu are respnsible fr everything yu d unless yu are physically verpwered. It is yur life and what happens in it is up t yu. Refuse t be manipulated by ther peple s greed, helplessness r anger. Set limits. Say n when yu mean n. Cnfrnt thse wh try t manipulate yu with yu shuld. Recgnize feelings f inadequacy and guilt fr what they are legacies frm yur parents and ther adults. Yu can decide nt t feel that way. Be cnstructively selfish. In the lng run, ding what is best fr yu is usually best fr everyne cncerned. Remember that n matter what yu d, smene is nt ging t like it s yu have t risk being disliked, r even ending relatinships, if yu are ging t functin in yur wn best interests. Recgnize that there are limits t yur pwer. Yu really cntrl n mre that 50% f a relatinship (yur half). Remember, yu have the right t say I dn t understand and even I dn t care. Dn t answer questins yu dn t want t answer. Questins are ften threatening, demanding, manipulative especially the WHY r WHY NOT questins. Stay in the here and nw and cpe with reality. If yu blame thers r the wrld fr yur prblems, r if yur behaviur is aimed at making yu feel better instead f slving yur prblems, yu are defending instead f cping. Every healthy persn has prblems but yu d have the ability t cpe with them. Valuing Others Here are sme simple rules fr valuing thers and, in the prcess, establishing win win relatinships: Listen empathetically t thers. Stp yurself frm wrking n cunter arguments while anther persn is speaking. Take the risk f being persuaded. Try the ther persn s reasning fr size. SID-CCD02 Page 6 f 12

7 Dn t make assumptins abut hw thers think r feel r hw they react. Yu can t get inside anyne s head but yur wn. Cnfrnt unrealistic r manipulative behaviur but dn t attack thers. Sarcasm and kidding are dirty fighting. Dn t label thers as dumb, lazy r childish and dn t make sweeping judgments abut feelings, especially abut whether the feelings are real r imprtant r mrally right r wrng. Dn t play manipulative games. Be hnest, direct, pen and specific. Dn t crrect thers statements abut hw they feel. Dn t tell them hw they shuld feel. Be tentative. Dn t state yur pinins as facts, avid preaching wrds and dn t exaggerate r bulldze thers. Avid abslute statements that leave n rm fr mdificatin. I think this is the way is better than This is the nly way. Give peple rm t mve. If yur decisins will affect thers, prvide sme means fr their invlvement. The ders need t feel that they have influence n the decisins that affect them. Mre than ever befre, peple want a stake in the decisin making prcess (especially ne that may affect their lives). Have clear gals understd and agreed upn. Use the gals, nt persnal values r preferences, t test whether issues are relevant r nt. Cnflict Strategies What are yu like? Different peple use different strategies fr managing cnflict. These strategies are learned, usually in childhd, and they seem t functin autmatically. Usually we are nt aware f hw we act in cnflict situatins. We just d whatever seems t cme naturally but we d have a persnal strategy; and because it is learned, we can always change it by learning new and mre effective ways f managing cnflict. When yu becme engaged in a cnflict, there are tw majr cncerns yu have t take int accunt: Achieving yur persnal gals yu are in cnflict because yu have a gal that is in cnflict with anther persn s gal. Yur gal may be highly imprtant t yu, r it may be f little imprtance. Keeping gd relatinships with the ther persn yu may need t be able t interact effectively with the ther persn in the future. The relatinship may be very imprtant t yu, r it may be f little imprtance. Hw imprtant yur persnal gals are t yu and hw imprtant the relatinships are affect hw yu will act in a cnflict. Given these tw cncerns, it is pssible t identify five styles f managing cnflict. SID-CCD02 Page 7 f 12

8 Aviding (The Turtle) Turtles withdraw int their shells t avid cnflict. They give up their persnal gals and relatinships. They stay away frm the issues ver which the cnflict is taking place and frm the persns they are in cnflict with. Turtles believe it is hpeless t reslve cnflict. They feel helpless. They believe it is easier t withdraw (physically and psychlgically) frm a cnflict than t face it. Cmpeting (The Shark) Sharks try t verpwer ppnents by frcing them t accept their slutin t the cnflict. Their gals are highly imprtant t them and relatinships are f minr imprtance. They seek t achieve their gals at all csts. They are nt cncerned with the needs f thers. They d nt care if thers like r accept them. Sharks assume that cnflicts are settled by ne persn winning and ne persn lsing. They want t be the winner. Winning gives sharks a sense f pride and achievement. Lsing gives them a sense f weakness, inadequacy and failure. They try t win by attacking, verpwering, verwhelming and intimidating thers. Accmmdating (The Teddy Bear) T teddy bears, relatinships are f great imprtance while their wn gals are f little imprtance. Teddy bears want t be accepted and liked by thers. They think that cnflict shuld be avided in favur f harmny and that peple cannt discuss cnflict withut damaging relatinships. They are afraid that if the cnflict cntinues, smene will get hurt, and that wuld ruin the relatinships. They give up their gals t preserve the relatinships. Teddy bears say, I ll give up my gals and let yu have what yu want, in rder fr yu t like me. Teddy bears try t smth ver the cnflict ut f fear f harming the relatinships. Cmprmising (The Fx) Fxes are mderately cncerned with their wn gals and their relatinships with thers. Fxes seek a cmprmise; they give up part f their gals and persuade the ther persn in a cnflict t give up part f his gals. They seek a cnflict slutin in which bth sides gain smething the middle grund between tw extreme psitins. They are willing t sacrifice part f their gals and relatinships in rder t find agreement fr the cmmn gd. Cllabrating (The Owl) Owls highly value their wn gals and relatinships. They view cnflict as prblems t be slved and seek a slutin that achieves bth their wn gals and the gals f the ther persn. Owls see cnflict as a means f imprving relatinships by reducing tensin between tw persns. They try t begin a discussin that identifies the cnflict as a prblem. By seeking slutins that satisfy bth themselves and the ther persn, wls maintain the relatinships. Owls are nt satisfied until a slutin is fund that achieves their wn gals and the ther persn s gals and they are nt satisfied until the tensins and negative feelings have been fully reslved. SID-CCD02 Page 8 f 12

9 Wrksheet Belw is a questinnaire t help yu identify yur cnflict style. Using the fllwing scale, indicate hw yu wuld react t each statement belw. Scale: 5 Very typical f the way I act in a cnflict 4 Frequently typical f the way I act in a cnflict 3 Smetimes typical f the way I act in a cnflict 2 Seldm the way I act in a cnflict 1 Never the way I act in a cnflict 1. It is easier t refrain than t retreat frm a quarrel. 2. If yu cannt make a persn think as yu d, then make him r her d as yu think. 3. Sft wrds win hard hearts. 4. Yu scratch my back and I will scratch yurs t. 5. Cme nw and let us reasn things tgether. 6. When tw peple quarrel, the persn wh keeps silent first is the mst praisewrthy. 7. Might vercmes right. 8. Smth wrds make smth ways. 9. Better half a laf f bread than n bread at all. 10. Truth lies in knwledge, nt in majrity pinin. 11. He wh fights and runs away lives t fight anther day. 12. He hath cnquered well that hath made his enemies flee. 13. Kill yur enemies with kindness. 14. A fair exchange brings n quarrel. 15. N persn has the final answer but every persn has a piece t cntribute. 16. Stay away frm peple wh disagree with yu. 17. Fields are wn by peple wh believe in winning. 18. Kind wrds are wrth much mre and cst little. 19. Tit fr tat is a fair play. 20. Only the persn wh is willing t give up his r her mnply n the truth can ever prfit frm the truths that thers hld. 21. Avid quarrelsme peple as they will nly make yur life miserable. 22. A persn wh will nt flee will make thers flee. 23. Sft wrds ensure harmny. 24. One gift fr anther makes gd friends. 25. Bring yur cnflicts int the pen and face them directly, nly then will the best slutin be discvered. 26. The best way f handling cnflicts is t avid them. 27. Put yur ft dwn where yu mean t stand. 28. Gentleness will triumph ver anger. SID-CCD02 Page 9 f 12

10 29. Getting part f what yu want is better than nt getting anything at all. 30. Frankness, hnesty and trust will mve muntains. 31. There is nthing s imprtant that yu have t fight fr it. 32. There are tw kinds f peple in the wrld, the winners and the lsers. 33. When ne hits yu with a stne, hit him r her with a piece f cttn. 34. When bth give in halfway, a fair settlement is achieved. 35. By digging and digging the truth is discvered Scresheet: The clumn with yur highest mark is indicative f yur cnflict style Ttals: TURTLE (Aviding) SHARK (Cmpeting) Steps in Negtiating Reslutin f Cnflict Step 1: Cnfrnting the Oppsitin TEDDY BEAR (Accmmdating) FOX (Cmprmising) OWL (Cllabrating) D nt hit and run, cnfrnt nly when there is time t jintly define the cnflict and schedule a negtiating sessin. Openly cmmunicate yur feelings abut and perceptins f the issues invlved in the cnflict and try t d s in minimally threatening ways. Accurately and fully cmprehend ppnent s views f, and feelings abut, the cnflict. Step 2: Jintly Defining the Cnflict D nt label, accuse r insult an ppnent describe the ppnent s actins. Define the cnflict as a mutual prblem t be slved, nt as a win lse struggle. Define the cnflict in cncise and specific terms. Step 3: Cmmunicating Psitins and Feelings Cnflict cannt be reslved if negtiatrs d nt understand what they are disagreeing abut. SID-CCD02 Page 10 f 12

11 The general rules fr negtiating cnflicts f interest is t differentiate, then try t integrate yur psitin and yur ppnent s. Understand hw yur ppnent s psitin, feelings, perspective and needs differ frm yurs. Step 4: Cmmunicating C-perative Intentins The unambiguus expressin f c-perative intentins in negtiatins and cnflicts f interest, results in agreements being reached in shrter perids f time. Oppnents defensiveness and egcentrism is reduced. This leads t increased attitude change; reductin f the felt imprtance f having the right ideas abut the issues being negtiated; greater cmprehensin and retentin by an ppnent f ne s psitin and arguments. It is a gd idea, therefre, t cmmunicate clearly ne s mtivatins and intentins t c-perate. Step 5: Taking the Oppnent s Perspective In rder t understand an ppnent s actins and psitin, yu will have t see the cnflict frm his/her perspective. Negtiatin requires a realistic assessment f cmmn and ppsed interests. It requires the sacrifice f sme f the ppsed interests s that the parties can build n cmmn benefits, cncerns, advantages and needs. Step 6: C-rdinating Mtivatin t Negtiate in Gd Faith In rder fr a cnflict f interest t be negtiated cnstructively, all parties need t be mtivated t reslve it. The csts f cntinuing a cnflict may be the lss f a friendship, less enjyment frm grup membership, cnstant disruptin in the grup, lwer prductiveness by grup members and harassment. The gains fr cntinuing a cnflict may be the satisfactin f prtecting the status qu r frustrating persns yu dislike. T increase the mtivatin f a fellw grup member t negtiate, yu need t increase his csts f cntinuing the cnflict and reduce the gains. T decrease the mtivatin f anther persn t negtiate, decrease his csts and increase the gains fr cntinuing the cnflict. Step 7: Reaching an Agreement The cnflict f interest is reslved when the participants reach an agreement. SID-CCD02 Page 11 f 12

12 All participants need t be satisfied with the agreement and cmmitted t abiding by it. The agreement shuld specify the jint psitin n the issues being adpted, the ways in which each participant will act differently in the future and the ways cperatin will be restred if ne f the participants slips and acts inapprpriately. It shuld als include sme prvisin fr future meetings at which the participants can check hw well the agreement is wrking and hw c-peratin can be imprved. SID-CCD02 Page 12 f 12